So frustrated and discouraged

[buckeyeatheart]

Hey everyone. I have been struggling a little bit with life after my Whole30 and this lifestyle in general. I guess full disclosure will come in handy here, so here I go. I am 20 years old, a college student, female, and just discovered the "paleo" way of eating this past summer with my first whole30. Before reading ISWF I had pretty much no desire whatsoever to try a whole30, but I had been struggling the entire past year with awful bloating every day and decided it was time to cut the crap out of my diet. I started the whole30 in the summer and finished it when i went back to school at the end of august. Since then, I've been eating paleo, with occasional treats that aren't (like ice cream, which never fails to make me look 6 months pregnant, but my willpower sucks sometimes).

The thing is, I think I eat pretty well; veggies with every meal (my roommates think I'm crazy for veggies at breakfast), protein at every meal, and definitely lots of healthy fat. I listen to Diane Sanfilippo's podcasts -- if you don't know her, she is the author of Practical Paleo and has lots of useful information in her podcasts -- and try to implement a lot of her advice as well as Dallas and Melissa's in my daily life. I feel great usually -- less bloated, my strength has improved a lot, except in one area-- my weight/ body fat.

I exercise 4 to 5 days a week, usually CrossFit (on my own) and I also teach group fitness 2 days a week. I am by NO means overweight, and I don't mean for it to come off this way,but my bodyfat has significantly increased since the last time I had it measured; last time, it was, admittedly, a bit too low at 18.5% and I recognize that. I was doing too much cardio and too little strength training and I would NEVER switch out my current strength gains for such a low bodyfat percentage again. When I got it measured a few weeks ago, I expected an increase; however, getting back the 24% final answer was a bit of blow emotionally. I KNOW that is not a high percentage and I KNOW that it's not bad. But gaining almost 6% in 6 months? It feels like a lot and I am just not comfortable with it; my lean muscle mass has increased by 1 or 2 pounds -- not a lot of gains in that area, but a lot in the body fat. I guess I am just really discouraged. Am I eating too much fat, too much carbs, not enough? I don't know but I honestly feel like I am going from someone who never worried about food to being scared to eat for fear of gaining more weight (not that it stops me from eating, I just don't feel like I can trust myself to know when enough is enough). I never wanted to lose weight, or gain it; sure, I knew SOME fat was to be gained, because it was needed, but I am at the point where I feel uncomfortable in my old clothes and can just see myself getting softer and bigger. I hope this doesn't come off as obsessive; I just want to be back to my comfortable, happy body composition that I had before, or at least close to it, and didn't really worry about. I started this way of eating because I want a happy, healthy gut, good digestion, better blood sugar regulation and truly don't want to go back to regular consumption of grains and egg whites and low fat yogurt. However, I am just at a loss on what to do right now; I've cut back a little on my cooking fats, as sometimes I got overzealous and used more than I needed. Other than that, any help would be appreciated.

Here's a typical day:

breakfast: coffee with almond milk or heavy cream (not whole30), 2 or 3 eggs in coconut oil, spinach, salsa, 1/2 acorn squash

lunch: salad with spinach, tomato, cucumber, bell pepper, onion, olive oil, balsamic, a protein like turkey or beef burger, maybe 1/3 or 1/ 2 avocado on top

dinner: small baked sweet potato, broccoli, other mixed vegetables, chicken or other protein with spices in coconut oil (usually just stir fried together, quick and easy)

snacks: a spoonful of nut butter here and there, sometimes nuts, sometimes apples, couple squares dark chocolate

post-workout: some combo of eggs and sweet potato or a banana, or recently I started using 2 scoops of Progenex Recovery; again, this isn't whole30 or paleo but it seems to sit okay with me and is convenient

after dinner: I typically make a little dessert for myself so I don't know how big of a problem this is, but after my whole30 i fell right back into my dessert habit, part of it might be living with my roommates and being always influenced . Sorry, I am not perfect haha. This dessert might be a little " mug cake" which is usually made of an egg or egg whites, coconut flour, cocoa, and 1/2 a banana or so, topped with some nut butter.

Any help is appreciated! I don't really know what to do but I just want to feel normal again. I am active (trying to slow down sometimes) and GENERALLY eat well even if there are some caveats. I just think that I should feel my best both inside and out if I am eating foods that are truly nourishing, so I guess I just need help troubleshooting. It is frustrating to be eating well, exercising, and gaining fat more than others who are eating a SAD. Sorry this was so long!!

[MJam]

Just based on what you said I personally think that your downfalls are:

1. Most important, worrying about what the scale/bf % says...why are you letting this rule you? Do you look better? Feel better? You said you have made strength gains, that's awesome. Use those as your markers, not the scale.

2. Occasional treats whatever they may be. You say you are still eating ice cream despite how it make your body feel. Cut all that out.

3. Post dinner dessert...this is a HUGE problem one I think you are making seem smaller than it really is. Why are you having dessert after your dinner? If you are still hungry, make your dinner bigger and add MORE fat to dinner, sauteing veggies in coconut oil isn't enough fat for dinner. Having that sweet after dinner DESPITE the compliant ingredients is only keeping you locked into unhealthy patterns. No one is perfect but a Whoel30 is about accountability and responsibility. And cake is still cake even if it's made with compliant ingredients in a mug. Cut these out totally full stop no exception. I think you have NOT dealt with your sugar dragon, it's still there ruling you.

-My theory on the sugar addicted which I totally am, is that 30 days isn't even close enough to starving the very very patient dragon. I doubt I will ever be able to eat sweet treats ever again because I will back slide and I have come waaaay too far to let the sugar dragon win. You are not the first person to mention sliding back to the sugar dragon after a Whole30. In fact, this has come up on here a lot recently.

4. NUTS/SNACKS....If you are eating 3 balanced meal there should be no need for snacking and especially what you are snacking on. Nuts can make people feel bloated and gross myself included. I don't eat nuts because of this. Nuts are also compliant "food without brakes" for lots and lots of people. Nut butters are even more troublesome. It took me 2 hours to shell a half a mason jar of walnuts. Think of how long it would take you to shell and squish the equivilent amount of nuts that you eat in a few seconds in a spoonful of nut butter...a really long time. Nature is naturally limiting on nuts but nut butters do not have those same breaks thus they are abused.

- Fruit is also troublesome and shouldn't be eaten alone thus most people eat it with nuts and to me those are just paleo "junk food" and are HEAVILY abused by Whole 30ers. I won't even touch chocolate as a snack, deep down you know this is bad (unhealthy and it spikes your blood sugar). Cut all of this out today. There are tons of other great snack options that don't continue to foster unhealthy habits.

5. You might need to up the fat intake. Aside from cooking in coconut oil which isn't enough for a meal you mentioned a portion of avocado. Cut out the junk and up the good fat intake. I take a 1 oz shot of coconut oil with my breakfast, I drink fatty bone broth, I eat mayo by the spoonful, I cook my veggies in tallow, eat AT LEAST an avocado a day sometimes more in addition to the fat in my eggs and meats.

6. Progenex Recovery, I had to Google it because I wanted to be sure what was in it, lots of creepies....it's not only not compliant it's full of sugar (fructose and sucralose), soy and milk...this does NOT promote good health at all. Be conscious that companies are trying to sell products. Whole30 isn't about convenience it's about health. There are lots of other post-workout options that you mentioned like eggs and sweet potatoes that can easily be made ahead of time.

So here are my suggestions if you do in fact want to see more scale based results like you said....

- up your veggie, like double it. Eat them at every single meal. I try for 2 cups of 3 different kinds of veggies at the bare minimum

- up your fat intake

- cut out all nuts and nut butters

- cut out the things that are your "caveats" as they are obviously impacting you results (ice cream, dark chocolate)

- try a Whole45 or a Whole60, my guess is your 30 wasn't nearly long enough to heal you. Lots and lot of people are starting up Jan.1/2 so you would have tons of support from this great community.

Best of luck!

[AmyS]

To all of the really excellent and detailed dietary advice Mjam has given you, I would also say that you are twenty. You are still finishing growing up. Your body is still settling in to being a grown up body. It will change, and it will mature, and you will look and feel different over the next couple of years. Sweetie, you're soooo young. Along with doing all you can to eat healthy, remember you are a person, not a creature to be shaped by every health magazine's idea of what is healthy for a woman. Almost everything you will come across in your lifetime telling you how to look like a woman will be wrong. Fortunately, Whole30 is actually right! This you can trust.

Eat well, love yourself, and grow up strong, sistah.

[MJam]

Classy and eloquent as always AmyS, a very thoughtful and poignant response *takes notes*

[buckeyeatheart]

Thank you both! Yeah, I definitely hate admitting to myself but that sugar dragon is still there for sure. During my whole30 I cut out all desserts and did it pretty "by the book" and I remember feeling good. Now to get back to that again... I need to deal with the sugar dragon, I guess I didn't want my little dessert habit to be a big deal but it's a lot more psychological than I thought. Yes I know I am young, definitely. But I am pretty proud of myself for at least trying to be the healthiest version of me I can, and I am doing this for the right reasons, which are to have a healthy gut and hopefully preventing any problems in the future-- considering I don't really have problems with grains, at least not yet, and I knew I needed to gain bodyfat from my lowest point. The only reason I even put numbers up is because I was worried about how much it shot up in such a short time. Maybe another whole30 is just what I need to do to get back to feeling good and kicking that sugar habit. I am not too worried about magazines though and have no desire to be a skinny victoria's secret model though, so no worries!

[AmyS]

Good for you - stay healthy, stay focused, and kick that dragon out of the cave!

[Rachael2288]

Thank you both! Yeah, I definitely hate admitting to myself but that sugar dragon is still there for sure. During my whole30 I cut out all desserts and did it pretty "by the book" and I remember feeling good. Now to get back to that again... I need to deal with the sugar dragon, I guess I didn't want my little dessert habit to be a big deal but it's a lot more psychological than I thought. Yes I know I am young, definitely. But I am pretty proud of myself for at least trying to be the healthiest version of me I can, and I am doing this for the right reasons, which are to have a healthy gut and hopefully preventing any problems in the future-- considering I don't really have problems with grains, at least not yet, and I knew I needed to gain bodyfat from my lowest point. The only reason I even put numbers up is because I was worried about how much it shot up in such a short time. Maybe another whole30 is just what I need to do to get back to feeling good and kicking that sugar habit. I am not too worried about magazines though and have no desire to be a skinny victoria's secret model though, so no worries!

Hey Buckeyeatheart! You already got some GREAT advice up there so I won't add much, but congrats on realizing how important your health and diet is so early! I am about to turn 25 and if I had made the paleo change at 20 I would have cut out a lot of unhappiness, pain, and struggle, so BE PROUD!

That being said, I recently let my sugar dragon back out the cage with holiday treats (even though 90% of them have been "paleo treats" and plan on another Whole30 starting January 1st! I think doing another one in January would be a good choice for you as well, so join me

[Kirsteen]

Massive kudos for working on your diet at your age. If I'd done it then, I might have avoided having to have an op for cancer last year. Yep. you've had some great advice and I think you're absolutely right to think about doing another Whole 30. I think that would get you right back on track and show just where the problems lie. Good luck

[Robin Strathdee]

To all of the really excellent and detailed dietary advice Mjam has given you, I would also say that you are twenty. You are still finishing growing up. Your body is still settling in to being a grown up body. It will change, and it will mature, and you will look and feel different over the next couple of years. Sweetie, you're soooo young. Along with doing all you can to eat healthy, remember you are a person, not a creature to be shaped by every health magazine's idea of what is healthy for a woman. Almost everything you will come across in your lifetime telling you how to look like a woman will be wrong. Fortunately, Whole30 is actually right! This you can trust.

Eat well, love yourself, and grow up strong, sistah.

This. Very much this. There is no number on scale - weight or bodyfat % - that can determine your worth. We see this often: Folks do a Whole30, are happy with their results, feel better, know they are healthier...and then they get on a scale, or check their bodyfat %. And all of a sudden a success story turns into insecure questioning, doubting and fear because of a number. Because of an external piece of feedback.

If you are healthy, and happy, and look good - keep going! Chances are the curves look GOOD on you!