Start Date: December 1st

[LadyLisbette]

PS

As for the temporarily too-snug clothes, I like this: Can I just observe this without judging it?

Also, the air is much better, thanks for asking! There will be bad days air-wise now that it's harvest time, and they shake the nut trees. It gets awfully, awfully dusty with God knows what variety of yuck, but today was good, and overall it's better fire-wise. Aah.

[hollysmokes]

Hmmmm, an October W30 doesn't sound out of reach as long as I wait until after Hoedown. When in November is your Portland trip? Maybe we could squeeze one in between Hoedown and Portland and have a good reset before the end of the year. I think it would be great to end the year stronger, leaner and more fit (inside & out). I'm feeling pretty yucky today so the thought of getting back in the groove sounds pretty good. I made buffalo wings for a snacky dinner last night and ate way too many of them while we were binge-watching Ozark on Netflix. Thank goodness for peppermint oil! I took a drop in the middle of the night and it helped settle my stomach down but I still don't feel "right" and now I'm sleep-deprived on top of it. Meadowlily says that mistakes made more than once are a decision. I won't make that mistake again! So sorry to hear that you were so sick last week; that sucks. Feeling better?

I did manage a pretty good cook-up this weekend but it was very disorganized- lots of pieces/parts but I got two big pans of chicken thighs baked (for me- my hubby is a white meat eater), a big pan of roasted veggies and cooked down a huge bag of spinach to go with my eggs for something different for breakfast. I tried a new recipe and managed to turn it into a non-recipe so volumes don't really matter so much. Cauli "Risotto"! Rice the cauli (about 3 cups-ish) and dice up almost the same amount of mushrooms (I used baby bellas). Put the cauli in a bowl (no added liquid) and microwave it for 2 minutes, stir and repeat. Let it cool for a couple of minutes then put it in a towel and wring as much water out of it as you can without burning yourself. Put a couple of tablespoons of ghee (I used butter because it doesn't bother me and I'm out of ghee) in a skillet and saute some onion (maybe 1/3 of a cup?) and the mushrooms. After the shrooms release a bunch of liquid, let it cook off just a little then add the cauli, salt and a little garlic powder (or saute garlic w the onion). I added a little more ghee at the end for flavor. It is NOT pretty- kinda beige- but it tasted great. Cauli rice isn't my favorite but it's nice to have as a side sometimes. Might be good to bring to a potluck around the holidays, too.

My new project is finding something to do with green tomatoes. I found three good ideas: one fermented just like Kosher dills but you slice the tomatoes, one quick pickle in the fridge and a green tomato & potato curry-ish dish that sounds really interesting- it uses garam masala and I even have some. I'll let you know how it turns out. 

Wow, it sounds like you're doing some deep personal delving. Good for you! I can totally relate to carbs & candy for comfort because I've been doing it just dealing with all of my stress lately. Good nutrition and exercise is a much better approach and we both know that!

My tupperware tubs are full 

[LadyLisbette]

Yay for full tubs! Now you have me dreaming of curry!

Portland is Nov. 5-10, but I like the way your brain works. Hm. I am so excited about the trip - I know there's going to be delicious eats there (and other lovely things, of course, like a Watsu massage, I can't wait!). My birthday falls the day after the midterms, and though I'm something of a teetotaler, I'm looking forward to drinking a little bit. My husband is a political animal and lives for elections, so I can guarantee he'll be drinking scotch or rye. I often flash on the Meadowlily you quoted about really only needing to do a W30 once. I see the point, but I feel I want to, and need to. I think I'm going to set my intention to tighten up my act, and sleep on it for a while...I always see myself allowing only added sugar, but then there's days like today...

Today I ate two chocolate chip cookies, and some chips before dinner. But! it was a good movement day. I took a quick hike, and pressed for time, just did a quick abs workout, but I worked real hard, got real sweaty, and then stretched. It's nice and cool, so I will keep that up. The outdoor part, as I'm sure I've said before, is key for me, and lifts my spirits so much. So this part is huge, a cause for celebration!!! I think the eating part will fall into place better once I've got the movement going - that has historic precedent and is giving me hope.

Hope you'll get a good night of sleep tonight! It's hard to keep it together while sleep deprived. Your cook up sounds great! I've got some skin-on/bone-in thicken thighs thawing right now! The cauli risotto also sounds heavenly. I can imagine how the mushrooms pack it with flavor!

2-part Blasphemy alert: My friends who I mention are into keto popped in today. They've each lost 14-15% of their body weight and look and feel great. It seems tempting! But I know that when I keep my good habits up, I can lose weight, too....it's worked for me before! I can do this! We can do this! 

Remember when you talked about the mental part, the mindfulness. I'm going to work on that.

I threw together a huge casserole last week based on my friends' keto chicken florentine ( hers was very tasty, but not filling, and had an ocean of whipping cream in it). My version: the bottom layer was chopped up ckn thighs that I had roasted, then a mountain of sauteed onion/mushroom/zucc/kale, then I drowned the whole thing in a coconut milk/egg custard. The seasonings were oregano, s/p, nutmeg. Not bad. It was good to get a break from ground chicken - I eat that so much.

Have you ever made Mel's salmon cakes? That looks like a great thing to have on hand in the freezer.  insert mermaid emoji.

What can you do/are you doing to minimize your triggers/transgressions during this stressful time pre-hoedown? What do you need, or what are the conditions that you can set up? I know we don't do cheat-days during W30, but would it help to give yourself one or two days per week to indulge? 

10 hours ago, hollysmokes said:

I think it would be great to end the year stronger, leaner and more fit (inside & out).

Let's do. Yes!

 

 

[hollysmokes]

The curry was delicious, different, easy and compliant so what more could you ask for? My husband even liked it; I just have to remember not to use the "C" word (curry) or he'll say he doesn't like curry. Technically, it used garam masala anyway. Here's the link in case you find yourself with a surplus of green tomatoes:  https://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2010/09/dinner-tonight-green-tomato-curry-with-potatoes-and-garlic-recipe.html. I doubled the recipe because a single just didn't seem worth it and added an extra 8 oz of tomatoes but kept the water at 1 cup and that was plenty. I just realized I forgot the cilantro at the end, too. Because the tomatoes are so tart it's almost like a chutney and was really good with roasted veggies and grilled pork tenderloin. I was a little confused about how to cut up the tomatoes because the recipe says to cut them in 1-inch segments. What the heck is a segment of a tomato?? I decided on 1-inch cubes and it seemed to work out well. 

I think I mentioned the green sauce that I used on my chicken before but couldn't find the source. It's nomnom's recipe for Fiona's Green Chicken. I don't think I've tried Mel's salmon cakes but nomnom has some spicy tuna cakes that look pretty similar and they're really good. You're casserole sounds creamy, delicious. I might have to do that for my breakfasts one week. I don't know about the whole keto thing; seems like it would be hard to get sufficient nutrients. I've read a little about it and I know some peoples, esp women, don't always do well hormonally but I haven't really delved into the specifics. 

Thanks for the reminder; I think mindfulness is where I've lost my way recently. Even though my meals have been pretty good I haven't been paying attention. At all. Not to my food, my body, my movement. The only thing that's been buzzing around my head is that anything I can get done today is one less thing I have to do tomorrow and that has just turned my life into one gigantic to-do list. Not good and no fun. So now that I'm aware, how can I change it? Yesterday was a "kill all the things" day for no good reason and then our upstairs A/C died. That'll teach me. Reminds me of when I was little and crying over something. My mom would say "You want to cry? I'll give you something to cry about!" Nothing that $1000 won't fix  but thankful that we have A/C in the main part of the house and the nights are getting a little cooler.

Nope, no cheat days. Intentionally choosing to indulge in something special-yes! I did pretty well last year and, since we're doing the food, that makes it easier. I'll definitely have some gumbo since it's my family's traditional recipe (flour in the roux, Costco roasted chicken with all kinds of yuck in it, non-compliant ham) but I'll forgo the rice. The next day is pulled pork, potato salad, green beans (non-compliant bacon though) and probably a little sauce on my pork. I make the sauce and it's ketchup-based but has only a little bit of added sugar besides what's in the ketchup. Since I make it for hoedown, it's Hoe Sauce, of course, and it's a little spicy and a little vinegary and really yummy. I've had some requests for dessert so I'll have to show some restraint there if I make them and we haven't figured out breakfast yet. I think I'll be OK except the beer vendor is a local craft brewery and I love their beer so I need to show some restraint there too! Yeah, that's going to be my big transgression! I'll accept it and move on. 

On 9/17/2018 at 10:23 PM, LadyLisbette said:

I think I'm going to set my intention to tighten up my act

Yes!

[hollysmokes]

“Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most.”
—Buddha

[LadyLisbette]

That recipe looks delicious, and I love the idea of browning the garlic. Occasionally I like to make a pan of garlic/rosemary roasted potatoes, and love to graze on the toasted garlic nuggets that results, that almost but not quite burned flavor. This is a dumb question, I know, but are you using green tomatoes as their own variety, or an unripened red tomato? That's charming that your husband will enjoy the curry-ish dish as long as we don't call it curry. Sshhh...

A couple of times I've peeked at keto theory, but honestly, I know there are no shortcuts to what I need, and know it's not that healthy. I do admire my friend's weight loss, and then I'm back to minding my own business...to each her own. Also when I glance at keto recipes or see photos on social media, there is no color, pointing back to what you said about nourishment...time being so scarce, I don't think I'm going to do any further research, letting common sense prevail.

It's so understandable that you're in to-do-list mode right now. You're almost there...countdown, 3 weeks! That's such a bummer about the upstairs A/C! Ouch. Glad you have the downstairs cool, and that it's getting cooler! Hope you're having a better day today. I loved getting a summary of your menu. Hoe sauce, LOL!! Oh, it all sounds SO good! Watermelon comes to mind. I'll be interested to learn what you dream up for breakfasts. I got visions of big sheets of egg pie, easy to make in advance and slice up like square crustless quiche? Curious, how much of the cooking will you do onsite? Are you happy with the facilities you'll have available? Is it just you and your husband, or will you have other helpers? How many people will you be feeding?

Yesterday's lunch salad was so much better than I expected it to be...I only had radishes and snap peas on hand for the crunchy part, so I chopped them up and also used the last of the latest meatballs. Yum. I've been using a basil infused sunflower oil for my salads, with balsamic. Really enjoying that. I'm experimenting with eating a little less protein and fat than I think I need, and being careful to be ready to eat again something well considered. That is going well so far. I think I might, historically, have been kidding myself in this area, and overeating...so this is this week...and laying off the mayo a little. We'll see. It hasn't been a great exercise week, but I've done something every day, even if only a short walk and then stretch...missing my morning meditation, working back to that peace.

After we get home, that is...this weekend is our annual pilgrimage to the Monterey Jazz Festival.

On 9/19/2018 at 10:01 AM, hollysmokes said:

Intentionally choosing to indulge in something special-yes!

(thank you for that reminder....right you are!) There will be my favorite food vendor, Ghanian. Yum. Looking forward to that, and home on Monday night. = )

Knowing we'll be OOT for 4 days, I've let us slowly run out of perishable groceries, so I think it will be salmon tonight and a tray of roast brussels...

I'll check in next week - will be thinking of you, sending cool breezes your way!

[hollysmokes]

Monterey Jazz Festival! That must be amazing. I hope the weather was grand; I'm sure the music was. 

My weekend was a blur of activity but mostly just the usual stuff except for going to Restaurant Depot where I totally geeked out over all of the STUFF they have. If you've never heard of it, it's like a Sam's or Costco for restaurants. The meat & produce cooler was bigger than most regular grocery stores but I almost froze to death. It didn't occur to me to bring a jacket. Fun! Fun! Can't wait to go back. My Hoedown friend got me all set up so I can go whenever I want to. You have to have a tax ID number to get it so I've never been able to go. 

The weather has turned to constant rain so work on the house has stalled and the A/C guys can't do their thing either. They just keep recharging it and that just makes me cringe environmentally. It only holds freon for about two days then has to get gassed up again- ugh. Hopefully the weather will cooperate and they'll be able to fix it Wednesday and not have to gas it up a 4th time. 

I lost my sous chefs for Hoedown I'm totally not surprised but my husband's daughter doesn't feel like she can abandon her new personal training business for a week at this stage and I agree with her. On top of that, my husband can't take off of work like he usually does so I'm in panic mode a little bit. It'll be fine, I think, but I need to plan things out a little differently. Lists! I must have lists! And a cleared out refrigerator. We always laugh when we're doing big cooking like this because we wind up not having any room for our food and eat out. 

Gotta fly! A quick swing by the dentist then home to make Creole gravy with the last of our tomatoes.

[LadyLisbette]

That is terribly ironic to have a refrigerator full of food that is off limits for your own consumption! It occurs to me how much commonality lies between theater and food service - the deadlines! The opening night, the stagehands, the cast, and you lost your support, your sous chefs, oh no! It sounds like you have a plan and an approach, and that you're not that worried/plenty worried but have it under control. Yes, lists! You are a woman with a list, I know you can do this! I hope you can get your A/C fixed once and for all...think of how dull everything may be when this period of Hoedown and Home Repair is all over? 

How did the creole gravy turn out? One of my favorite concerts this weekend was Bokanté, and the singer sings in her native Guadalupean Creole. Oh, I love to see a kick ass woman backed up by the men folk. Here's a link - it's a music video with lots of gorgeous dance as a bonus if you have 5 min 

 

I'm feeling so encouraged because while the festival was really enjoyable, it's potentially a train wreck for eating, you know, fair food and everything. But in the mornings I ate boiled eggs at the hotel, and thanks to the Ghanian vendor, I ate delicious grilled chicken, spinach, black eyed peas, and a little of the rice, and a few ginger fried plantains. Modest portions...not precisely compliant, but really not bad, nutritious and delicious, and I only strayed from that menu at the very end when I enjoyed flash fried brussels sprouts (who knows what kind of oil was used but it was heavenly!), and the chicken off of the jambalaya, letting Hubs finish off the rice. We ate out on the last night, and I had salmon and broccoli and herbal tea. We ate out twice before getting home tonight, and I minded my Ps and Qs pretty well. So I have some confidence moving into the week, and closing out the month of September.

Plans for this week include making my first batch of coconut butter for a smoothie recipe (soaked nuts, blueberries, coconut butter and almond milk...I'll skip chia seeds, they kind of give me the willies so I never have any on hand)...my friend says is really filling for 4 hours...I know, smoothies, we sorta know better, but I'm off roading so I'm going to try it. And a good old hash, a large batch, enough to share with my keto-loving friend and return her containers with some in it.

Sorry so wordy, my brain is tired, and it's time to unpack and go to bed! 

[hollysmokes]

Woohooo! Lisbette, thanks for sending me down that rabbit hole! I listened to that entire Bokanté album which led to Metropole Orkest and Snarky Puppy. I created a Pandora station and then realized that some of my New Orleans favorites are in there, too- Trombone Shorty and Rebirth Brass Band.  Malika Tirolien is the singer and, yes, she is truly amazing. Thanks again; I love discovering new (to me) music!

Ghanian food sounds so exotic and ginger fried plantains sound fabulous. Seems to me that you did a great job staying "nutritious and delicious" and if the worst thing you had was some questionable oil with your heavenly fried brussels sprouts, I don't know if you can hardly call it off-roading! Good job!

My Creole gravy came out really good. I have a cheater recipe from Commander's Palace (old, traditional high-end restaurant in NO) that doesn't use a roux so I can make it without flour. We had shrimp creole for dinner last night. Hubbie had his on rice, the traditional way and I  just ate mine with a spoon and had some broccoli with oo and garlic. I got a big chuck roast last weekend and was going to make stew with it but I'm all over anything simple right now and beef stew isn't so simple. I think I'm going to cook it in the Creole gravy instead and make beef daube which is a bit different from the classic French version and served on spaghetti (or green beans in my case). It's something else I can put in the freezer for emergencies or for when I have no room in the fridge for  my own food! Thank goodness for holy mackerel cakes in the freezer! That's my lunch today with (almost) the last tomatoes from the garden and a green bean salad.

I did hash this week, too- ground pork, roasted delicata squash, peppers and green beans with a couple of fried eggs on top for breakfast. A friend of mine at work told me that Mexican tradition holds that it's bad luck to return empty containers so I always think of her when I'm returning a container to somebody. I like that tradition! I've only had chia seeds in one of the Primal Kitchen bars and wasn't crazy about them; they always wound up as little slimy things between my teeth. The other two flavors didn't have them so I don't know why they decided to add them to the coconut cashew bars but I'll pass. Let me know how your smoothie experiment goes. I like smoothies but have never found that they hold me for more than an hour or two and that was way before W30. Sometimes it would be nice to have a smoothie as a change of pace. A lot of times when I'm heading to the farmer's market on Saturday mornings, I want to get an early start to beat the parking problems and don't want to stop to fix a proper breakfast.

And, yes, lists. And paint. And, of course, music

[LadyLisbette]

Oh, that's so cool! I'm happy that you enjoyed the Bokanté and all, and Snarky Puppy! We also really love Trombone Shorty and caught him at MJF a few years ago.  We have a live recording on cassette that Hubs recorded off of the radio when he played at MJF several years before we met, and he couldn't get tickets. The difference between the live version and the studio recordings is shocking - live it must be! I'm guessing you've seen him live, too, yes? Isn't he an *amazing* performer? Wow. Will definitely look into Rebirth Brass Band! We saw Snarky Puppy (again, MJF) some years ago, and really like them, but for me, the new material with Malika Tirolien is really something wonderful. Because so much of the content was in Creole, she and Snarky Puppy lead-man Michael League took turns introducing the material in English, and one of the numbers she set-up spoke directly to personal work I'm doing re my mother/ancestors and it was like a message from the heavens...I'm in love. And he plays the oud on this album, I love the oud.

You are SO talented. The food all sounds so good! That's a beautiful still life of your desk/command central. Yes, by all means, keeping it simple sounds like the way to go. Your hash inspires me. This morning I got up early to make mine - I used (surprise) chicken, and the usual onion/mushroom/zucc/kale, but this time for the seasoning I used Chinese 5-Spice, and it was surprisingly good. You inspired me to look for haricot vert and delicata squash...it is that time of year!

That Mexican lore about returning containers not empty feels very right to me. Generosity + more generosity, right? '

Yeah, the Paleo theories about (some) seeds harming the gut, which is the seeds' self defense against predators (me, a predator?)...makes a lot of sense to me. Maybe the next time I do an actual W30 I'll re-intro seeds like the suspect seeds, and see how I feel....but my intuition tells me to stay away, plus, there's chia pets, and I get stuck on that = )

It's hard to believe that at one time waaaayyyy back in the early ots, my favorite smoothie, which I thought was SO good for me was: OJ, peach yogurt from TJs, and a banana. ...all that sugar!!!! OMG. On the brink of discovering W30 it had evolved to water or almond milk with loads of fresh spinach, celery, frozen mango (or banana), and raw eggs....but even with the eggs, it didn't hold me, either, and I always felt a tad nervous about the raw eggs unless  they were pastured, which I can't always get. I might make the coconut butter tomorrow if I can't squeeze it in, so to speak, so I'll definitely keep you posted! I wonder if it might be a food without brakes, like the way a can of frosting used to be. Did I just confess that?

Recently a server at our local Mexican place comped us an order of whole beans. They were so delicious.  Plus the black eyed peas at the festival were so good, too, so I'm thinking about making a batch of pinto beans soon. Also found a recipe for black bean burgers that looks yummy: the cooked beans are then baked in a single layer on a cookie sheet to dry them out a bit so the burgers aren't mushy, mixed into loads of garlic and pignolias...this will be an experiment, but could be another handy freezer item.

Have you decided on breakfasts yet for Hoedown?

 

 

[hollysmokes]

Bokanté and Metropole Orkest are releasing a new album next week and I just pre-ordered it; it sounds like it's going to be amazing. We've know Trombone Shorty since he really was short! We hired him while he was still in high school going to the New Orleans Center for Creative Arts, a kind of supplemental high school that was a separate campus where admission was by audition only. We had the privilege of feeding him his first lobster- just told him to eat it like a gigantic crawfish!  Will trade food for music! One of the musicians took me literally at Hoedown last year and gave me a CD. The oud! I kept looking at it and trying to figure out if it was a bouzouki or one of the big mandolins or what. Now I know- thanks. 

Wow, that was quite a confession, LOL! I won't tell! Hard to imagine now, isn't it? I have a hard time picturing you all cozied up with a can of frosting. We're evolving! Ooh, Chinese 5-spice sounds great. I have two more delicatas that I'm going to roast tonight to go with a little sirloin steak and I'm going to do the 5-spice thing with a little garlic and maybe a pinch of pepper flakes. I finally found some ground chicken! I've only seen it at big box stores and it kinda skeeved me out but this was really good so I'll be using that a little more and ground pork a little less. I want to add beans back in as well; I just haven't gotten around to it yet. My husband will be thrilled. I have a really good refried bean recipe, too so i might do that first.

Haven't come up with a plan for breakfasts yet and I'm thinking it's not going to happen this year. My husband's daughter isn't going to be able to come up at all so if I did breakfast, we would be cooking/serving for 16-18 hours on Saturday then have to get up early Sunday to help break everything down. The first year we fed the Sunday morning workers so I might try to do that. It's hard without a real kitchen. We start off with an empty field, build a festival then turn it back into an empty field. I have a big double burner camp cooker and that's it for cooking. We use steam trays and crockpots to keep everything hot and everything is pre-cooked at home which is about 30 minutes away. There are logistical issues, for sure!

Ch-ch-ch-chia!

 

[LadyLisbette]

That's quite a scene with young Trombone Shorty, how cool!

Your sirloin steak sounds delicious = ) Glad you found some ground chicken you like...I think it subs really well, esp. the dark meat when I can get it!

Yes, I totally agree that 16-18 hours per day is waayy too much. It's quite a production you put on! It must be a fun event, people looking forward to your offerings each year, and being present for the music even though you're working....

Yesterday was a super good day at work, but also a disaster personally – I was able to catch parts of the confirmation hearing in two different 40-minute sittings, and I nervousnacked on cashews and dark chocolate shamelessly, and woke up the sugar dragon.  

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/ImmaterialSardonicDutchsmoushond-size_restricted.gif

I'll have to be diligent to get myself back on the path. Tell me I can do this. I also need to get my arse moving with vigorous morning exercise. Because of the snacking I had a hard time sleeping. Tired and discouraged, but I'll pack my good lunch and start over  I'm sure I'm not alone - I think we're all doing our best to find a zen place amongst the insanity. I'm reminding myself that W30 is a way to be at home in my body, and not to abuse myself. It's so obvious, but a needed mental adjustment.

[hollysmokes]

You can absolutely do this! I bet the exercise will make a difference. My sugar dragon was bitchin' at me today, too. I've eaten carb dense veg every day this week and twice on two occasions. It wasn't my plan but I wasn't thinking that if I have delicata squash in my morning roasted veggies, I shouldn't have holy mackerel cakes for lunch of leftover green tomato & potato curried veggies. Oops. I think that what almost made me buy a jelly donut this morning but I decided to have an early lunch instead so I won but it was close! Cashews and dark chocolate, on the other hand....mmmmm yum. 

Right now all I have is insanity; no Zen! The house project is running amok! The A/C repair escalated to almost $2500 but at least the miserable thing is fixed- just in time for the temp to drop 20 or 30 degrees. Now my husband needs cataract surgery. And, and, and...

But I didn't eat the donut! Give yourself a hug; you deserve it and it'll make your sugar dragon shrink in size.

[LadyLisbette]

Thank you for the kind words of encouragement, and absolution, and most importantly for showing the way regarding how to not eat the donut. Good JOB! 

I understand that after cataract surgery everything comes to life like a pop art explosion. But really, one thing at a time, right? That's a crazy A/C bill, and proves ole Murphy's Law...it just never ends. Do you have a health savings account tax shelter thingie? Boy those come in handy. We started one up this year, so there's no excuse for me to not get that crown I've been avoiding, for example.

Oh Holly, the hash is almost gone, so tomorrow I will dream up something new. I was thinking, as you know, about doing a W30 in October, but instead I think I'll do some journal writing tomorrow and psych myself to start anew (self hug in there too at your wise suggestion), adding early morning exercise. I already know what I have to do! I agree with you, the exercise will help. So often the rest falls in place like dominoes. I've fallen into a rut, but I can get out, I have before. I'm still not ruling out a December W30 good time, and won't dream of pestering you about it until after Hoedown. Count down, I think 2 weeks now, right?

Through this period of less-than-perfect, I nevertheless have glimmerings of solid love-myself-no-matter-what. The clothes are snugger than they should be, but it's not like I need to wear different clothes, and it's not like I haven't been here before. God, I'm so vain.

Just for fun, here's some Hamza Al Din and his masterful oud. Rest in Peace Hamza.

 

 

[LadyLisbette]

Our thread title being "Start Date Dec. 1", I often want to start my posts here with, "Captain's Log, Stardate 11060718..."

I know you're swamped, but this is my happy stardate check in for the first of the week, and the first of the month, and the launch of the last three months of the year. Have you ever known reckless people who destroy/crash and burn in various ways only to start all over and recreate themselves? In our family background there were people who did that, and lots of friends and acquaintances who I observed doing this. If I'm honest, even though I'm not a big drinker or drug user, I do recognize a touch of that pattern in myself. Maybe everyone does that, just to varying degrees...picking yourself up, dusting off, all of that.

Things have been feeling out of control lately, as you know. Of course I hadn't exercised since that bad cold a few weeks ago, so I was A~ not exercising and B~sub optimally eating -- not a total disaster, but enough in combination with A that by this weekend I was aching all over. My legs felt heavy and stiff, my joints all hurt, especially my hips. I could FEEL all the tension in my body and knew I needed to start again today, Monday. And I was feeling depressed. 

By Sunday even though I felt awful, I rallied with a burst of survival motivation, and made a double batch of oven salmon cakes (I think it's the same recipe as the mackerel cakes!), a tray of roast brussels/carrots/yams, and got all my salad ingredients prepared for the week. I'm also de-thawing meat in the fridge for the next up chili and another hash, and will freeze. This morning I had a good 25 minute power hike, and came home to do abs, and legs, and had a good stretch and 10 minute seated meditation. My self respect, mood, and hope for the future are all restored again. Jeez that was a rough patch! My goal is to get movement 6 days per week. If one of those is a quickie that's ok. I'm not doing a W30 but I am on program. I'll make the Portland trip the exception to what will otherwise be a tight, respectable 3 months. Not sure what we'll do for Thanksgiving...but if we stay home, I'll just keep it tight. If we go up to this place in the mountains we like, I might have to make some exceptions, we'll see.

I finally tried my friend's smoothie I told you about. It has soaked seeds and nuts, frozen berries, 1/4 lemon with rind, 1/4 avocado, some coconut butter, water, and hemp milk. It wasn't that tasty, but I did enjoy it. I was kinda hungry after 2 hours, but it was so busy at work that I didn't eat until 6 hours past. I was hungry, but not in that state of emergency, eat anything and everything in sight kind of hungry.

Have a good week!

[hollysmokes]

Thanks for Hamza Al Din; I loved reading his story. His music feels so peaceful and I could use some peace about now. Murphy is still hanging out at our house. One of the carpenters nailed up a board on the side of our house and shot a nail through the copper tubing that runs from the outside A/C unit to the house. Theoretically we should not be paying for the repair but things are starting to go sideways in a big way. Neither of us slept last night but, at least I did a little stretching and I have good meals for today. 

Glad to hear you came through that rough patch; sounds like you have a good plan moving forward, too. The plan! The plan! It's amazing what a bit of movement and some positive thinking can do to propel us forward. I'm trying to stay positive but it's really being hard. I guess if it was easy, it wouldn't be a thing, now would it? That smoothie sounded pretty tasty but if it's not AND doesn't really hold you (even though you made it do its job) I think I'd pass. 

Your Portland trip sounds wonderful and Thanksgiving in the mountains doesn't sound too shabby either. I haven't thought about it yet. Everything is ATF (after the festival) at this point!

Gotta run off to a lecture; my Tuesdays have gotten crazy but this too will end!

[LadyLisbette]

Oh no! By all means you should not have to pay for that. Yikes! Poor Holly! And through it all you are managing to get your stretching in, and good meals, that's awesome. You are awesome! I hope by now you and your husband got some zzzzzs and that things are going more your way. Does Tuesday feel like months ago?

It's almost week's end, and I'm guessing it will be a busy weekend as you do your final push for Hoedown. You can do it! I am holding the space for your re-entry to routine and relative normalcy. All will be well. I'll still be here!

Off to errands and work... wishing you calm among the storm, and a belly-satisfied feeling from all that you are creating.

 

[LadyLisbette]

You're almost there, Holly! You can do it! I know you're holding up the sky right now whirling around like a dervish.

Here's my holding down the fort report, for later:

Ten days in to my on-program-but-not-true-W30 is that the third time may be the charm (not W30, not a 3d time, I know, but, but, but). Either that, or I've forgotten how good I can feel eating this way AND exercising. Oh Tiger Blood, old friend. The not-W30 aspects are minimal – a diet ginger ale, sugarless gum, hemp milk in my coffee....yes...I discovered that a ratio of 1/8 caf : 7/8 decaf is just right...a case of less is more, even euphoric!

The evolution of the seedy smoothie: I broke down and bought chia seeds, and also hemp seeds in order to give the recipe a fair shot. I added greens, a glug of olive oil and a few raw eggs to the recipe, and it's been growing on me, and even holds me for 4 or 5 hours. Now that frozen cranberries are turning up again, I have everything I need. I'm not doing it every day, but it's a revelation to embrace a blender drink again. I'm observing with reintro-brain how the seeds impact me, though they are compliant (?), they are foreign to me - nothing negative to report.

The exercise approach right now: a 15-25 minute power hike on steep hills for a warm up, depending on my available time. Home for 25 min. of strength work: MWF legs and core, yoga; T, Th, Sat. arms/back, yoga; with Saturday option of yoga alone. So far so good. This feels sustainable, and that is giving me a huge psychological boost. Looking over my shoulder at how I was feeling in the previous months, it is incredibly life-affirming to know how this path can turn things around. Like yoga, it's always there, to go home to. Sanity, calm, sanctuary. I can't fix the world, but I can take care of myself. I'm so grateful for this program and how it's helped me. 

Notably, compared to the last go-arounds, it's not new/feels normal, easier, less obsessive, sustainable for the rest of the year. Hence the feeling of 3d time being the charm. Bday and Thanksgiving will be a challenge to enjoy off-roading and get immediately back on plan...but the intention is to have things in the freezer as a safety net for when we get home.

Later, friend!

[hollysmokes]

We survived! Holy moly am I tired, though! The festival itself went really well with a good turnout in spite of cold-ish, drippy weather. We got almost 4 inches of rain Monday so we're quite thankful that didn't arrive a couple of days earlier. We had major refrigerator and water crises but managed to get it all worked out. The lack of refrigerator space pushed our cooking back a day so we were really jammed up by Friday. We smoked 10 pork butts Saturday night and a few people were supposed to hang out with our friend that was helping us but they vanished. I felt OK and just couldn't leave him sitting in the dark by himself (did I mention the generator system went down??) so I stayed up until 4 AM tending butts. That made Friday a 22 hour day and 4 hours of sleep later, Saturday was about an 18 hour day of flat-out busting our butts the whole time.

When I managed to eat at all, I ate waaaay off road (chicken fried steak with cream gravy and grits, a couple of Nutter Butter cookies and a snack sized  bag of Doritos!!). I brought a couple of bars with me but didn't even have time to remember to eat them. I'll definitely have to have a plan next year; that's the most severe detour I've taken since Stardate 12012017. Immediately back on plan, though and no self recrimination. Well, not much anyway; just the knowledge that I could have done better. I did really well during the week and ate good stuff out of the freezer but that all fell apart once we were on site, crazy busy and sleep deprived. Like you said, safety net! Now to get back on my exercise game. I think I'll aim for this weekend; maybe I'll have all of the pots and 5-gallon buckets put away that are taking up my work-out space right now.

The bottom line is that everybody loved the food and appreciated all of our hard work. Almost everything got eaten; only 2 pork butts left and we'll use those for the afterparty/debriefing get-together. I think that if I had maintained my workouts, I wouldn't be as exhausted so those are my goals for next year- keep working out so I have better stamina and have a food plan so I can keep myself fueled. Really, it's just an extension of what I'm striving for anyway, right? 

Not sure if you are familiar with Peter Rowan (legendary guitar player played with Bill Monroe) or not but the total highlight of the weekend was explaining exactly how I made the kale, butternut squash & white bean soup to him. His contract included some food requests but, as far as I could tell, he only ate our food. I got to tell Peter Rowan (!!) that our kale was sourced from a friend that has been growing it and saving the seed for 30 years and that I had made the vegetable stock by saving my veggie trimmings all year long! It was so cool! I'm such a dork! It was awesome!

How goes things in your world? I feel like I've been on the moon for the last couple of weeks and just got back. Time to get reoriented.

 

[LadyLisbette]

Yay, Holly's back! Congrats on an awesome event, even cruising through all those challenges. Your event report is fun to read! You landed on your feet and have great observations and a solid plan. I love it that you're not indulging self recrimination.  Love your story of talking soup with Peter Rowan, and I'm feeling so proud that he only ate your food!! Ooh, that soup does sound SO good! All those trimmings, truly paying the love forward! I looked him up, thank you, I will enjoy listening to more of him, an open tab on my browser. I have no doubt that your offerings are legendary. 

If that's the most severe off-roading you've done since last year, just wow. You inspire me. Good job on keeping it on-program all through the week before. It's so understandable to me that the event would be tough, especially with the sleep deprivation. You did great!! I'm so impressed!

A little time crunched here, but in summary, I'm doing well, and feeling like I've got a good grip on things! Since the first of the month I've been committed again to W30 and exercise, and I'm doing better than since before the June chaos. My local CSA has had some ups and downs but they're settled in again and I'm getting a box every week lately, and loving that. My new favorite dish is chicken apple burgers: just a shredded apple, salt, cinnamon into the ground chicken, which is so easy to make. I'm dreaming of the baba ganoush you talked about, and have that in mind soon. The hash is still a staple- this week's is shawarma seasoned. I adjusted my workout schedule by happy accident when one day I had to skip, so the next day I did upper and lower body in one day. That inspired me to do the strength work 2-3 times/wk whole body, and do a slightly longer hike on the alternate days, which is feeling more manageable and sustainable. Sometimes that's a quick 15 minutes and home to stretch. Because of eating right, I'm feeling no issue with that - a feeling of freedom! Also this week I tried increasing reps, with good results, so this is all pretty life affirming. Mentally, the theme lately is, "I could push my body more..." on days when I do the strength...and rest when not. This is new.

NSVs: Improved energy/sleep/mood/outlook/hopefulness; dramatic absence of morning joint stiffness/pain. The only joint issue now is hips and feet after being on my feet all day. SO much better! Still not needing allergy meds. Feeling lighter on my feet and more limber. Feeling like it's "normal" to live this way = )

[hollysmokes]

Happy Friday! Well, Lisbette, it sounds like you're on a good track. Congratulations! I am eating pretty well now but my off-roading has definitely led to some snugness in the clothing department. As Meadowlily says, "If the jeans fit, you must acquit." No acquitting here! Guilty as charged with a piece (or two) of homemade baklava as the proverbial icing on the cake today. I'm not tempted to get on the scale and will get back on plan and let everything sort itself out. I'm eating too many carb-dense veggies and, even though I know they are on plan, they aren't good for MY plan. I've been aiming to get back to moving and lifting with this weekend as my re-starting point. I think I'm going to start slowly and mindfully with some MovNat, stretching and maybe some light lifting. Your plan sounds like a good one: manageable and sustainable. I want that feeling of freedom again; I've lost it in the whirlwind that has been life the last couple of months so it's time to regain focus.

Today is the one year anniversary of my Dad's death so that has given me an opportunity for reflection and thankfulness. Even though he's gone, he isn't really. He gave me so many gifts; the greatest one is the love of books, reading and words. I think of all of the wonderful books I've read and and that he and I shared and know I wouldn't be the same person if he hadn't passed on that love to me. I was reading Dan Barber's "The Third Plate" last year and was really loving the message and the writing style so when my Dad asked me if I had read anything good recently, I highly recommended it to him. He never got to read it and I can't bring myself to finish the last few pages.

I'm feeling all of the anxiousness and exhaustion lift and am looking forward to a productive (and I haven't determined exactly what that means yet!) weekend. The problems with the construction are slowly resolving and the end might be in sight. The deck is well on its way to completion, house painting starts Monday then gutters so, theoretically, it should be finished in a couple of weeks?? 

Baking an entire Costco-sized batch of chicken thighs then freezing them has been a life-saver and so has roasting a big pan of veggies on the weekend. I'm not sure what my cook-up is going to consist of this weekend but that chicken sausage you mentioned with the cinnamon in it sounds great. If I decide to get off of the hill and go downtown to the farmer's market, I'm getting some ground chicken so I can make that. Shawarma seasoning sounds great, too! It would be good with baba ganoush. We're supposed to have a light freeze Saturday night so we'll be in the garden trying to gather up the last of the peppers. I can see some red from the street so I know there's some in there! Have a wonderful weekend!

[LadyLisbette]

The love of words, language, reading, truly a life-affirming gift that keeps on giving...and you are such a good writer. I can't help marvel at the idea of his continued expression in your written words. Do you get a lot of satisfaction from writing? I can't connect my own love of words and reading directly to my dad, but I do have an ongoing letter to him saved on my hard drive. When I miss him fiercely I add to the letter. Going through an entire calendar year after such a passing is a crossing of threshold. And here it is autumn again. Sigh! Gosh, a couple of weeks ago was the 14th anniversary of my dad's passing, and I just got a pang to realize I spaced it.  But like you said, he's not really gone. Sometimes it occurs to me that wandering through the world without my parents is a land of "gone. not gone. gone. not gone" ad infinitum. If pressed to define grief, that is what I'd call it.

What kind of peppers are you about to harvest? I'm really enjoying red, orange, and yellow bells lately. They're so sweet. Yay for the survival–simplicity of chicken thighs and pan roasted vegetables! The more time that passes, I realize it's okay for me to eat simply, and even the same few things, and I never get bored because I can change the type of produce and seasonings, and sauces. Liberating, eh?

So glad you're getting to decompress now post-event! I was meaning to ask about all of the construction at home. I'm vicariously anxious for you to be able to relax at home and have it all behind you! So much all at once!

On 10/19/2018 at 12:48 PM, hollysmokes said:

I'm not tempted to get on the scale and will get back on plan and let everything sort itself out.

I love that. Your approach to movement sounds smart and do-able. A homecoming. I mean, I know it's better for us not to take pauses. But life doesn't work that way, and besides, those homecomings are so joyful. Yes?  For better or for worse, I haven't stepped on the scale since Stardate 12012017! When I think about doing so, I can feel the potential dread. Of course I am paying close attention to my clothes. The slight improvement I'm feeling may be psychological, but in any case I'm taking it, and trusting the process.

Feeling beautiful isn't about a specific weight or how well you fit into your skinny jeans. Feeling beautiful is directly related to feeling healthy. And hear this: Healthy comes in many shapes and sizes. I believe the best way to raise your body confidence is to get excited about taking care of yourself. ~ Gabby Bernstein

Sweet weekend to you!

[hollysmokes]

Decompression isn't going as well as I had hoped but I feel better today. The construction problems are definitely taking their toll; I slept pretty well the last couple of nights (new and different!). I've been eating well and have managed to do a little stretching, which I desperately needed. Thank you for the Gabby Bernstein quote. Like so many things you've turned me on to, it was extremely timely. A friend of mine used to always say that life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. I try to keep that in mind but have been so overwhelmed with problems that I couldn't get past it. Reading some of Gabby Bernstein's words about staying grounded, balanced and focusing on your own well being gave me a real boost so, once again, my friend, thank you for being here.

When I got home yesterday, one wall had its first coat of paint on it and it looks like we were finally successful in choosing the correct paint color after pretty epic fails on two prior occasions. I geared up to finish my cook-up from the weekend and fixed an easy dinner of pan-grilled grouper and roasted veggies. I had bits of veggies that had to get cooked or they were headed for the compost bin- butternut squash, cauli, brussels. Have you tried Mel Joulwan's Lebanese spice blend? I really like it and used that on the veggies for something a little different. I had it sitting on the counter because I use a little bit of it in tabbouleh and I had just finished making some with the parsley from the garden. The whole reason I planted parsley was to be able to make tabbouleh. I harvested a mountain of parsley Saturday and we cleaned it up and got it chopped on Sunday so 3 of the 9 (!) cups of parsley went to that so I'm really feeling the garden love in my lunches this week. 

I am moving beyond Kill All The Things and feel like there's a light at the end of this negativity tunnel and it isn't another train 

On 10/20/2018 at 8:23 PM, LadyLisbette said:

The slight improvement I'm feeling may be psychological, but in any case I'm taking it, and trusting the process.

Yes! It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.- Confucius

Much love to you!

[LadyLisbette]

Thanks, Holly, for the beautiful check in, and beautiful words. Oh, thank you for being here, too! Love back to you. I am grateful for your supportive friendship. And yay for sleeping well, eating well, and stretching! This has been a marathon for you lately. You're a champion: Hoedown AND all the home upheaval! Are you kidding me...I give you a ton of credit.

So glad you like the quote! Me too. There's a related one I saw on IG. I can't find it, and can't attribute it...but it went something like this:

This morning I was in the shower, and I asked myself, "Self, is there anything that you need?" And I was expecting to hear something about more water, better sleep, B12, more exercise, etc. But what I heard was a little voice that asked, "Could you please maybe just love me the way I am?"

Oh boy, that one has been with me ever since. I mean, if I never compared myself to anyone or any standard, there really wouldn't be a problem. Comparing just is not helpful. I know that. I look generously upon others, why not me? My life functions, I'm in good health (problems are relatively minor), and when I stay on program I feel GREAT. My energy and mood are improved, my sleep is better, I'm more loving and patient in my marriage, and with others, even with the public at work. Who could ask for more than that? So I'm working with an interplay of focus and commitment, as per your on-point Confucius quote (love that!) and while trusting the process, also trying to let go of the outcome weight-wise.

Yes, I LOVE Mel J's Lebanese spice blend! I have a shaker of it on the counter, and use it very often. I've taken to putting it even into scrambled eggs for my pre-work out snack. In the hash too. Love it! Oh, tabbouleh, yum. Your garden is so generous! Mountains of parsley. That's a lot of chopping. I may have mentioned I love working at the cutting board, prepping, chopping.

I've been enjoying roasting a big tray of chicken drum sticks. Yesterday morning I marinated them in the leftover double batch of the sauce Mel J. uses with her shrimp cakes, and while they were roasting, I reduced the last of the sauce, and basted them half way. Yum, the texture and flavor of the minced ginger and garlic after 45 min at 400 degrees. Hubs likes drum sticks, so this has been in regular rotation.

Thanks for turning me on to MovNat. I do two of the joint mobility exercises almost every day.

Today I was a little off plan, I ate a small piece of chocolate cake, and four inches of a red vine. Tomorrow will be a dragon slaying day, but I know I can do it!

Questions: are the animals recovering from the upheaval? Also, is your husband leaning in the direction of W30 for his own health? You had mentioned some time back that he may be, after visiting the doctor...

Happy Friday!!! xo L.

[hollysmokes]

Upheaval! That pretty much describes the last two months alright! My little girl cat is as much of a scaredy cat as ever and, for the most part, has dealt with stranger danger pretty well. She did have one day when there were two crews working on the house and LOTS of banging and sawing when she was too freaked out to leave the safety of our bedroom and she peed on some clothes I left on the floor. That'll teach me not to leave my clothes on the floor! Our big boy used to not care who was doing what but he's been jumpier since we sprung him from prison earlier this year. He won't use a little box and always goes outside but I figured he might reconsider if the choice was whether to go out in the construction zone or not. I put a big, open litter box in the basement bathroom for him and he's been peeing in it pretty regularly so it's now been dubbed The Boys' Bathroom! 

Those drumsticks sound terrific; I love drumsticks. I think I might bake up a big batch of those so I have something else compliant in the freezer for emergencies and it will be a different flavor profile from the green chicken thighs I already have. Thanks for the idea. Saturday is the post-Hoedown debrief and party and we're bringing the food (mostly Hoedown leftovers) so I'll be able to stay on track as long as I steer clear of the baked beans. I have some white beans leftover from the soup I made for the veggie eaters so i think I'm going to defrost them and make a white bean dip of some sort- hummus maybe. I'll definitely have some of that with some cucumbers for dippers. I love beans and want to enjoy them from time to time. No luck on my husband doing a W30 but he has been eating salads at work instead of the hot meals which are very SAD. I haven't mentioned it and hope that maybe when things settle down a bit, I might be able to help him tweak his breakfasts and lunches a bit more in the W30 direction. 

11 hours ago, LadyLisbette said:

"Could you please maybe just love me the way I am?"

Ooooh, that is a lesson I need very much. My inner dialogue is not nice at all and it's something (one of the many things) I need to work on. Just being more conscious of it helps but I need to focus on it much more. I think one of the reasons that I like yoga and MovNat is that I can move and turn my focus inwards at the same time. Are you familiar with Katy Bowman and Nutritious Movement? I've read some articles on her blog and really like the points she makes about movement vs working out. MovNat sent out an email with some info on a workshop they did together and it got me started thinking more about functional movement. I want to combine yoga, Movnat and Nutritious Movement throughout my day and see if that works better for me than a dedicated "workout" time. I think about "just moving" a lot when I'm going  up and down the stairs at home for billionth time except I think in terms of "Does it count?". Does it count if I don't have my phone in my pocket to record every step and flight of stairs? Does it count if I don't record it/document it as a workout? Bad mind set. Anything moving beyond the speed of sofa "counts"

I'd say good luck on your dragon slaying today but you don't need it. Trust the process!