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Caved 12/28/12


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OH...I WAS doing so well. I blew it yesterday though, and I have to re-start.

non compliant granola with oats and brown sugar

non compliant sesame chicken and white rice

non compliant bryers ice cream and 2% milk

This is NOT how I wanted to experience reintroduction...and I'm not really even sure what happened here....

how was I feeling? I was tired for sure...my shoulder has been bothering me; but I have been upping my number of sleeping hours...

I think it was cravings...in fact...I KNOW I was experiencing cravings; and what I have been doing is eating coconut when I have a craving...yesterday I decided that was probably not the right way to do it...and this is what happened.

I didn't even want to post it here...because I have been so strong; but I need to not keep that secret...maybe it will help someone else because I am telling it.

I guess the thing is...I would rather eat a bit of coconut to deal with my cravings; rather than blow my whole 60 because I couldn't get through the cravings without it. That is a serious food relationship issue...and probably at the core of my food behavior stuff. All the years of eating a sweet snack before bed; or having something sweet right around 3:00 PM...those are the times I really struggle with...and once I had the granola after 'lunch' ...it opened my mental gate, and made it 'ok' to just allow the other food in.

I have to say too...that my boyfriend has backed out on trying this with me...which is really disappointing...it is very hard to watch the people in my family eat whatever they want sometimes. Most of the time I am strong; and I'm like...'I want abs more than I want ____" but every once in awhile I come close to giving in. I know he wants me to make my famous chocolate chip cookies this weekend; and I have already been fantasizing about the dough...that is not good.

I'm going to copy and post this in another thread...so I can hopefully get some feedback on it...and I am still reading ISWF...so I am going to just jump right back on with a new log today.

I would love to extend my little 'off-roading' trip through this weekend...but I have some fear of that...because I went off the deep end when I finished my first w30 in October.

comments/suggestions/tough love/constructive criticism are welcome...

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Two things.

Let's make it 3.


2. Stop beating yourself up! Celebrate the success you had of achieving whole30 #2 recently. You went right back into your whole60 and I don't think you have given yourself credit.

3. If you are craving, that is emotional in my opinion. If you don't deal with that, you will always have that challenge. Up your fat with your meals and see if that helps too.

Again, hugs to you!

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I agree with #2. Well, I agree with all of this, but I especially struggle with beating myself up. Which is really just compounding one obsessive behavior (emotional eating) with another obsessive behavior (self loathing) and is not constructive. It's very hard to move from that place internally for me, but I tend to combat it with some kind of positive action, even if its simply putting on uplifting music. Go do something nice for someone. Or a physical activity that I know will make me focus.

Get up and dust yourself off, and do the next thing.

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All of the above, plus a little note of caution about extending the off-road-trip....I wouldn't. Make getting back into a good space more important than the sugar that's calling you (and oh, how it calls! I don't feed the little basta*d anymore...). By Tuesday you'll be feeling better already....

Good luck!

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oh...how quickly off-roading can raise the dragon.

We aren't even going to talk about yesterday...just focusing on today thank you.

Today I am back on ... and the little sugary son of a ...biscuit eater...is making me want some in my coffee even.


I will/am going to be strong.

I will notice the reactions my body has had to the past two days:


swollen hands

intestinal distress (gas, bloating, cramping)


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I'm with you. I gave up smoking about twelve years ago using the AllenCarr method, and it has a really useful analogy (which of course I've remembering through rose tinted specs and paraphrasing....)

It goes something like this. The addiction to cigarettes, so it goes, is in two parts. There's the physical addition to nicotine, which is, in isolation, just a little niggle that tends to go away in as little as two days if you don't feed it. Then there's the real monster, the psychological addiction. It's much more difficult to get rid of as it's triggered situationally and emotionally (read: I'm stressed and need a cigarette to calm me down, I'm in the pub and I normally smoke, something bad happens and I light up.... you get the idea). It's a powerful trigger which makes you think you want to feed the little monster again. And, worse, if you feed the little monster, even just once, then you need to kill him again, back to square one). And. The little monster provides the key to the big one. Whether I am just very suggestible or not, this worked for me and I went cold turkey at 1pm on 19/07/2001 and never looked back. I didn't want anything getting the better of me like that.

Kind of like for sugar for me, although a little more complex. I've discovered that, if I starve the sugar monster for long enough, it goes away. But I'm still susceptible. If I have something that's SWYPO or too much fruit, then the next day I have this urge (not a craving yet) that sort of tries to tell me I'm hungry between meals when I'm not. Being able to demonise it as the 'rise of the monster' helps me to see it for what it is; an attempt for the sugar monster to take control again. I'm much more able now to recognise that and respond with some fat (yum). So, while I will occasionally have something on the 'watch it' list, I know what they are, and know what to expect on day 2 to stop it becoming a car crash.

I guess I now sound like I should be certified!

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Heather, I am sad for you (we are all scared of this) and sending you cyber hugs... but also proud of you for being open about it so you can face it and look for a solution. Its an individual journey for each of us to find what works/doesnt work. I was and still sometimes start with snacking on coconut flakes "to prevent offroading" but lately I am trying more to introduce a fourth meal instead like cooked meat in pumpkin soup or carrot sticks, olives, nuts and coconut flakes which seems to help alot. I am also getting pretty fed up with facing sugar cravings the next day if I overdo fruit or nuts or coffee or swpo foods so time has helped me to become stronger. Hang in there today, tomorrow will surely be easier if you dont cave.

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