Once a binger, not always a binger


losk

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 I am on day 19 and had a rough day 18.  I am doing the whole30 to break a huge sugar addiction and to stop binge eating.  I wouldn't say the first 17 days were easy, but I never had the urge to binge ...until day 18!  and then it was on! the incredible and (almost) unavoidable urge to binge reared up!  Instead of devouring all of the high sugar and carb foods I would've normally eaten, I inhaled f our apples with almond butter and then four (little) boxes of raisins.  It was the way that I ate all of this that was discouraging because that is how i have binged on so many other junk foods so many times before.  So, I was discouraged AND having more urges to give it all up and binge on chocolate and  everything else! I had even talked myself into the sad fact that it was going to happen.  Luckily, I had to get in the car to pick my daughter up and i texted my husband (my support guy), 'I want to cheat!', and then took a hot shower.  Miraculously, my urges went away quickly!  and i am so thankful that even though I had those incredible urges, they went away and i was able to check mark the box in my whole30 journal that I completed day 18.  This is such a HUGE NSV for me because normally when I get the urge to binge, the ONLY way to get rid of it is to eat and eat and eat until I am sick to my stomach.  To most people, that may sound ridiculous and absurd, but those urges just overtake and it's like a completely different person is binging!  I am wondering and hoping that this whole30 has helped my body and my mind to better cope and resist those violent urges!   I know having a support system in my home definitely helped, but I was also amazed that once I distracted myself and also reminded myself of what a binge hangover feels like, I was able to, for the first time in such a long time, wake up in the morning so grateful that I didn't give in!  Hoping this post gives someone else some encouragement:)

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