Third week and counting

[CMB227]

So, I am into my third week, and if it were not for my commitment to lowering my cholesterol numbers, I probably would not be continuing with Whole 30.  Contrary to what Ms. Hartwig states in the intro, this is hard.  I have been through child birth, grieved the loss of loved ones and endured plenty of hardships.  While it is a different type of hard, I contend that it is more difficult in some respects than the difficult life changes listed.   This changing my eating habits requires deep down changes in the way I do just about everything from going out to fixing ANYTHING to eat.  Food as also been a soother and emotional release.  Stuffing the emotion is something I faced a long time ago and won.  I will never forget the day that a wave of raw overwhelming anger/fear/helplessness engulfed me.  I was in the kitchen near all of the foods I would normally grab to stuff down the negatives, but this time I didn't.  I literally hung on to the counter screaming inside my head as well as out.  In my head, I kept saying, "What's the worst that can happen?  Feel it,  Let it roll through you!  What's the worst that can happen?"  I made it through without stuffing, and it changed my life.  I wish I could say that I lost all kinds of weight, but I didn't.  However, I am not longer an emotional stuffer.  I just pretty much stopped gaining.  I am and have been about 25 pounds overweight for many years now.  I mostly likely would not have started Whole 30 if not for my cholesterol.  I do not want to go on any cholesterol lowering drugs.  My young Standard Poodle puppy keeps me active.  I did not know what VERY ACTIVE meant until she arrived.  At nine months, daily 40-60 minutes walks are mandatory to maintain sanity on all fronts.  Between the daily walking #nottoday30knotwindsofflakemichigan  and this clean eating, I hope it will be down.  I don't recheck cholesterol until April, so I will introduce somethings, but the no sugar rule will be kept. 

I needed to let some of this fly because it has been getting more difficult recently.  I am having a "What's the use?" crisis and hope that venting will help.  At least I have my puppy to keep me busy, and it is off to obedience class we go.

Have a great day, You all.

[CMB227]

Today has been really really tough.  I can't tell you why but my walk with Zoey today nearly wiped me out.  I had no energy and felt like a tire losing air.  We walked only 1.6 miles and that is not much for us.  It was cold and windy, but when isn't it February in Michigan?  I went grocery shopping and wanted to succumb to everything I saw.  Talk about having a pity party, jeez.  I did find something really great by Green Giant - riced cauliflower and sweet potato.  That is all that is in it.  I am looking forward to that tonight.  To pick me up a little, I had a banana and almond butter for a snack and feel much better.  I just can't give up on this program as much as I want to at times. 

Usually, I am ok with winter but this year I just yearn for warmer days and lighter winds.  That's probably because Miss Zoey needs to run.  She is just miserable unless she can burn off some of that energy.  Some day soon.