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Newbie613

Day 14 and ready to be done

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So 14 days in and I'm tired of it, not physically tired but just mentally tired of the whole process. I don't want to meal plan or prep or cook anymore. I use to love cooking, going into the kitchen and creating a meal. Now cooking is a chore. Plus all the cleaning of dishes, I don't want to do it.  I am doing it with my boyfriend and do most of our cooking because I'm the better cook and sometimes the majority of the cleaning (we are working on that) even before whole30 but now it feels like so much more.

And the meal planning -ahhh. I hate meal planning.  It's made food just routine for me vs something to enjoy. And a lot of our recipes are food we regularly eat made to be whole30. Or we have found some new ones that we both agree to keep cooking after - with some noncompliant items from time to time to change it up.  

Also I'm tired of trying to figure out the portion size my bf needs when meal prepping and shopping. We started with what was recommended - which was way to much for me and way to little for him. So we added more to the point where he is eating double the portion and still complains about being hungry between meals.  I think he is eating way to much for his size but it's an argument I am not going to win. But it has lead to him snacking and we are going through food so fast that its another stressor. But also for myself- i never grew up thinking about portion size and now everytime I sit to eat I do.  I just wasn't raised to but I also wasn't raised to over eat so portion control has never been a problem. But it feels like another point of mental exhaustion for me.

Also I am tired of telling myself no to foods I enjoy or just no to a snack because I'm not suppose to. It's starting to feel like all I do now and I really don't think it is good. I'm wanting things I havent ate in years and I've read the timeline thing so i get that is part of it but let me eat.  I enjoy a good snack or treat like most people and have my moments of over indulgence. But they aren't often and my usual snacking was a small treat after lunch or dinner. I dont think I have a bad relationship with snacking or dessert at all so constantly telling myself no feels like punishment at this point. I'm really not hungry between meals as I'm eating much bigger portions than I am use to and I know it is snacking habits I'm feeling but still,I should be allowed to eat when I want. 

I've also never struggled from a dietary point with any of the food not allowed. My body feels no different at this point for having eliminated those things.  It could be early but I enjoy dairy and grains without problem so it feels like an unnecessary elimination. My body looks better and I know its the diet but I don't feel any different.

 

I'm just mentally over it. I just want to eat when I feel like it, what I feel like. I want to go back to smaller plates where I feel I enjoyed my meal but didn't over do it to the point of full. I am tired of thinking about food and feeling like my life now revolves around food because it never use to. 

 

 

 

 

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Why did you want to do whole30 in the first place? If there were particular reasons you wanted to do this, maybe write those down and refer back to them when you start wondering why you're doing this.

You are an adult, so if you want to quit, that is up to you. Whole30 is not for everyone, and if it's adding more stress to your life, you have to decide if it's worth it.

One thing that often helps, especially if you have really strong reasons for trying this, is to remind yourself that it isn't that you *can't* have particular foods -- you can have anything you want to -- it's that for 30 days, you're choosing not to have those items. So, you might tell yourself,  I could have cheese if I wanted to, but I'm choosing not to because I want to learn how cheese affects how I'm feeling. 

As far as portion sizes, remember that the meal template lists ranges, and it's a minimum. As long as you're eating at least 1 palm of protein, 1 thumb of fat, and some veggies, and you're going 4-5 hours between meals easily don't stress about it. For your boyfriend, if he's hungry, he should eat, and you don't worry about him eating too much. Adding more fat and extra starchy vegetables to his meals may help him feel full and keep him satisfied longer.

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I can SO relate to your feelings.  My husband and I started our first W30 in February.  I was really into it for the first couple weeks and then it became tedious.  Between meal-prep and clean-up, I was spending almost a full day in the kitchen on Sundays and longer than usual all other days.  Besides that, I was mentally exhausted trying to keep track of what I was eating, what he was eating, whether I was really hungry and needed a snack or just wanted a snack, was he eating enough fat...etc.  He never read the book or researched the program - he was doing it "with me", so it was on me to figure it all out and it sounds like you might be in a similar place.  He was definitely eating compliant food, but not really following the meal template or embracing the spirit of the program.  It was frustrating and I was on the verge of losing my cool because I felt responsible for both of us.  By day 21, I announced that cooking just wasn't fun anymore.  Even though we have always eaten fairly healthy and mostly compliant, it was exhausting having to think so hard about food - every.minute.of.the.day - especially when I wasn't yet seeing any benefits and never really had a bad relationship with food to begin with.  Why work so hard??  

In the end, it wound up being a W26 because we were away from home and he landed in the hospital for kidney stone surgery (NOT W30 related) and it was just too hard to manage those last few days.  Since I didn't get to do the reintroduction, I am now on Day 5 of my second round.  Funny thing is, he is not doing it with me, this time, and it is so much less stressful.  I only have to worry about myself, I'm not resentful if he bends a rule, I don't feel as much pressure to follow the program to the letter (ie. I really felt like I needed a snack yesterday, so I ate a banana between meals - yay me!), etc.  For me, I'm doing this to see if it helps my psoriasis and to see if there are certain foods that are keeping me from sleeping well at night.  If I didn't have those two goals, I probably wouldn't have started over.  Hopefully you haven't given up.  If you have a good reason for the doing the program, it's worth it to see it through.  My advice is not to worry so much about your bf.  Make dinner as you always would and let him figure out how much of it to eat.  As for yourself, don't eat so much if you feel stuffed all the time.  I think I ate too much the first time around, trying to ensure that I had "enough" to make it to my next meal.  I'm eating less this time, while still following the template, and I'm getting from one meal to the next without a problem (aside from that banana incident yesterday, LOL).  Shannon said it best, don't think of it as "not being allowed" to eat a certain way, think about what your goal is and recognize that you're choosing to eat this way in order to reach that goal.  You're over half way there...good luck!!

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I can also relate to what you are feeling and I'm sorry for where you are. It's a tough place to be. 

To be completely honest, I started a Whole30 a couple of years ago and chose to stop on Day 9 or 10 because it was more stressful than beneficial for me. My life started to revolve around food and I started to feel very anxious about what I was and was not eating. So I chose to stop and it was the right choice for me at that time. 

I came back to it later, with a new approach, and successfully did 43 days of Whole30. The biggest thing I changed was the meal planning. I started winging my meals instead of planning them out. Most people don't take this approach and it certainly wouldn't work for everyone, but it did for me. Because I really, really resented giving up one of my precious days off to plan meals, grocery shop, and meal prep. My days off are for being outside and spending time with family. Not for planning food. And so I stocked up on a variety of sauces, dressings, and condiments and made sure I had plenty of meat in the freezer. And then my meal planning ended up looking like this:

  1. On my way home from work, I'd stop at the store and buy veggies for dinner that evening, and breakfast the next morning (lunch would always be leftovers from dinner)
  2. Once I got home, I prepared dinner with enough leftovers for lunch
  3. Early in the morning, I prepared breakfast and ate it before work 
  4. Repeat (except, every now and again I'd assemble a meal based solely on what was going to spoil if I didn't eat it soon) 

This method meant preparing relatively simple meals and it meant stopping at the grocery store almost every single day. But it worked for me and felt far "easier" than giving up a Sunday to batch cook. 

I guess I would just say, think about why this might be so hard and if there's something you could do different to make it less hard. It's never easy, but it can certainly be less hard! 

I would also consider whether it's worth it to have your boyfriend do it with you. My boyfriend helps by cooking me Whole30 meals when I have a long day at work and he eats Whole30 meals with me on the weekend. But he may also add to it because he's not actually doing the program. He may add a bun and french fries to the burger I cook. And he eats what he wants at other times. That works for us. I feel supported but I'm not carrying him along on something he does not believe in. 

Anyway, I hope this helps and I truly wish you the best! 

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19 hours ago, kirbz said:

The biggest thing I changed was the meal planning. I started winging my meals instead of planning them out.

This approach helped me so much this time around! It helped me relax and feel more in control... if that makes sense.

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