Blair's Log

[Blair W]

On 9/12/2018 at 12:02 PM, Unibok said:

Aw, thanks for asking. Luckily, I do love vegetables, so that helps. Lol. So far I am noticing that my face looks thinner -- which is a great sign. It's always the first place I lose weight, so I'm looking forward to seeing changes in other parts of my body during the coming weeks. My energy has been much higher than usual, but the downside is that it may be a bit too high, so I'm not sleeping well. Eventually that has to catch up with me, right?

I don't know if this will work for you, but it looks to me like you have a very active life with a toddler, fostering, and a job. Your fatigue might be because you aren't eating enough to fuel yourself through all of that. I realize you may not want to eat more when you think the food is gross, but you might want to "prescribe" yourself more food as medicine to get you through the day. For fats, are you okay with avocados? If so, eat 1/2 of one, either sliced or mixed into a mini guacamole -- even for breakfast. Avocado and nut butters are my go-to fats so far. Sliced apples with nut butter is a pretty tasty snack or side dish.

Like you, I can't bear the thought of meat for breakfast, but have always loved a veggie and egg scramble. For Whole30, I'm just upping the amount of eggs. So far I'm only up to 2, and I think that might not be enough. As you said, we're building new habits and getting used to new tastes. I'll get there.

And so will you!

You've got some great techniques, I am sure you are going to do great on this program! I like the way you said "prescribe" myself more food, that is definitely the way to put it lol. I hope your energy levels balance out so you can get some good sleep

[Blair W]

Day 12:

Meal 1: Life was so hectic today I simply didn't get a chance to eat breakfast

Meal 2: The day was still very hectic and I was out running errands so I grabbed a Bolthouse Leafy Greens drink and ate a leftover chicken strip

Meal 3: Asian Garlic Spaghetti Squash Noodles and some turkey

Snack: 2 pieces of watermelon

Water: 100 oz

 

Insights: Today was a crazy day and I barely ate anything but it was also my first day without cravings so that was nice lol. My cravings really haven't been the hardest part of this program, which really surprises me. I actually think that I crave and think about junk food LESS now that I am on the program. Daydreaming about dessert was a big pastime of mine before and now I don't really think about it at all (unless someone is literally eating theirs in front of me). It is all of the cooking, meal planning etc that is harder than I expected. Also, I never realized how little I like meat and veggies. Turns out, I just like the BBQ sauce, ketchup, cheese, and butter that I put on those things. I used to love making asparagus and brussel sprouts and eating Ceaser salads, but it turns out, I only liked those things for the parmesan on top lol. 

By the way, I have to admit I am TERRIFIED I am going to break my Whole30 on accident. I have not put my daughter on the program (because she is in Preschool and there is no way I can regulate what they give her for snacks and it is just too hard to pack her a lunch that is compliant) so I will be making her a sandwich or oatmeal or whatever and out of pure habit get the urge to lick my fingers. I have not done it yet, but am terrified I will because it is just one of those things that you do without really thinking. The other day, we were running late for school so I stopped by the donut store and bought her some donut holes. We usually share a dozen so again, out of pure habit, I almost popped one in my mouth. It's not even that it sounded good, it is just a habit thing, Haha, anyways, hopefully that doesn't happen. I would be devastated if I had to start over because I licked some PB&J off my finger lol

NSVs: No heartburn last night

 

[Blair W]

Day 13:

Meal 1: turkey slices with salsa 

Meal 2: Asian Garlic Spaghetti Squash and turkey with guacamole

Meal 3: White Chicken Chili

Snack: 6 pieces of Watermelon

Water: 90 oz

 

Insights: It's going pretty well. I am just so tired of food that doesn't taste good

I will be going camping for the next three days so I won't be able to log my entries until I get back.

[Blair W]

Day 14:

Meal 1: 2 scrambled eggs with salsa

Meal 2: turkey with guacamole

Meal 3: chicken salad

Water: 100 oz

 

Insights: Today was my first day camping. Things went pretty well

[Blair W]

Day 15:

Meal 1: 2 scrambled eggs and a few pieces of apple chicken sausage

Meal 2: homemade chicken soup

Meal 3: tri tip and roasted yukon potatoes with a side of watermelon

Water: 100 oz

 

Insights: Today was hard. We were camping with a large group of friends and it honestly sucked to see them enjoying their instant, easy, tasty breakfasts like donettes, pop tarts, cereal, etc. Then lunch was the same thing. Even though I made the soup at home on Friday, I still had to heat it up over the fire which took FOREVERRRR while others were enjoying their sandwiches, hot dogs etc. All of the meals were communal so every one was passing around chips, desserts, etc and inviting others to enjoy their food they prepared. Sadly, we couldn't partake in ANY of it at all because none of it fit the whole30 requirements. We obviously brought our own food since we knew this would happen, but it still sucked. I am not a drinker per se, I probably have wine a few times a year. However, this particular trip was one of those wonderful events where people just casually sip on their beer or whatever all day and it just puts them in a jolly mood. I would have loved to have joined in and sipped some wine so that was also a big bummer. I ended the day still optimistic that this was all going to be worth it.

[Blair W]

Day 16:

Meal 1: 2 scrambled eggs and a banana

Meal 2: In n Out burger minus the bun and sauce

Meal 3: Chile verde pork and roasted yukon potatoes

Water: 90 oz

 

Insights: I am really struggling today. I have been dealing with intense sugar cravings today, the worst I have had so far. I am wondering why in the world it kicked in now instead of earlier. I have been momentarily triggered before by being around other people enjoying foods I can't have, but this is different. It is just an all day longing for sugar. I am also feeling very "over it." I am tired of eating food I don't enjoy whatsoever. I have not had one single meal so far, that I would ever re-create while not on the Whole 30. I am realizing I simply don't enjoy meat or vegetables without accompanying cheese, sauce, etc. I am feeling really down tonight and am hoping I feel stronger and more motivated tomorrow.

[Blair W]

Day 17:

Meal 1: a Banana (I know, I know, I was just in a hurry and honestly couldn't face another day of eggs)

Meal 2: leftover Chicken and vegetable soup

Meal 3: canned chicken and 1/2 of a Naked Green Machine (again, I know. We hadn't gone grocery shopping and didn't have time)

No Snacks

Water: 100 oz

 

Insights: Dinner was incredibly frustrating today. We were gone all weekend camping so I was supposed to go grocery shopping today for the week  but unexpected things came up and I didn't get a chance. As soon as I picked my daughter up from school, we went to Costco for some of the things we buy in bulk. Here we are now, at 6:30 pm, no food at home to cook and no way to really eat fast food (I don't like any Whole30 salad dressings). I had to just scrounge up some scraps at home. Nights like this, where we are unprepared for a meal, make this diet INCREDIBLY hard. We are very poor and cannot afford to go to a restaurant so home or fast food are our only options. I also get increasingly anxious the hungrier I get, which makes me want to quit the diet just so I can solve the hunger issue quickly. We stayed strong last night, and I think I can get through the next 12 days, but I could never live a restricted life like this indefinitely. My world is just too busy to spend this much time on food planning/preparation and to not be able to just run through fast food every now and again.

NSV: No heartburn

[Blair W]

Day 18:

Meal 1: 1 scrambled egg and 1/2 chicken sausage

Meal 2: 1 scrambled egg and 1/2 chicken sausage

Meal 3: garlic bacon burgers with guacamole and onions

Snack: watermelon

Water: 100 oz

 

Insights: I did my grocery shopping for the week today and that definitely makes it easier to stay on track and not get frustrated. I am amazed at how strong my willpower has been. I never thought I would be able to buy my daughter a treat, and not indulge in it myself....and yet I do. If nothing else, this has taught me I am a lot strong than I thought.

Exercise: I went to the gym today for the first time in months (and probably only the third time this year). I did my first spin class and boy it whooped my butt. I am glad I went and will go again once I am no longer sore. I am going to try to go to the gym two times a week.

Sadly, after my gym outing I had another of my awful back cramps. My doctor said that I have mild scoliosis and that when my back muscles work harder than usual, once I relax, they spasm and cramp. These cramps are terrifying because the muscle band goes all the way around the torso so it heavily constricts my breathing. They usually only happen once every couple months but this is the second time it has happened while I have been on this diet. It makes me wonder if they could be correlated to something else as well.

[Unibok]

Congrats on sticking with it through some pretty rough patches, Blair. It is amazing how much better the next few days go after a good round of grocery shopping and planning. 

Are there any of compliant foods that you do like? I'm just so worried that you aren't eating enough, especially if you are also going to the gym and working out. Spin classes are so intense, and require so much energy and rejuvenation. Let me know if there are any foods you've liked on this plan, and I'll think about other things you can do with them.

Sending you hugs from afar,

[Blair W]

On 9/19/2018 at 4:04 AM, Unibok said:

Congrats on sticking with it through some pretty rough patches, Blair. It is amazing how much better the next few days go after a good round of grocery shopping and planning. 

Are there any of compliant foods that you do like? I'm just so worried that you aren't eating enough, especially if you are also going to the gym and working out. Spin classes are so intense, and require so much energy and rejuvenation. Let me know if there are any foods you've liked on this plan, and I'll think about other things you can do with them.

Sending you hugs from afar,

Thank you so much! It is so incredibly kind of you to think about me Yes, it is definitely easier when the meals are planned and ready to cook. Sadly, the only meal I actually enjoyed so far is the red curry I purchased from our local Thai food restaurant (I made sure to ask about sugar and soy sauce). Every other meal has been pretty much tolerable. I try to eat as much as I can but just can't seem to force myself to eat as much as the template suggests. I have not made one recipe so far that was good enough to make again after the diet is over. I never considered myself a picky person before this diet but now I am realizing the only reason I like meat and veggies is that they are accompanied by the things I actually  like (sauces, cheese, bread, etc). I feel like I actually eat less veggies now that I am doing the whole30, because I just don't have any interest in eating them without the accompanying cheese, panko crumbs, sauce, etc.

Luckily there is only 10 more days left. My husband and I are going to try to continue another 30 days of no grains after our whole 30 ends. I think we can do that pretty easily, it is the lack of sauce and cheese that is really bothering us both lol.

How is your journey going?

[Blair W]

Day 19:

Meal 1: 6 grapes (UUUUUGH, I was trying to cook a sausage egg hashbrown casserole but it didn't finish before I had to leave for work)

Meal 2: a serving of sausage egg hashbrown casserole

Meal 3: chicken salad with italian dressing

Snack: banana

Water: 100 oz

 

Insights: My cravings are just about non-existent these days, so that is awesome. As I was saying to Unibok, sadly, I just don't like any of the food I am eating. I doubt I will see any long term changes in they kind of food I eat. My husband and I have agreed to try to implement some limitations on dessert and fast food once our Whole30 is over, but other than that, I don't see me eating more vegetables or less cheese or anything. We will see.

My back muscle cramped all day yesterday, I almost ended up in the ER since the pain was so back and none of my usual medications/treatments were helping. I think I may have hurt my back during the spin class yesterday. I am so frustrated with having all of my hard work backfire. Since starting the Whole30, my blood pressure is higher, my back cramps are worse and more often, I have been constipated daily, and my energy level is worse. It sucks to feel worse when you are working so hard to help your body

NSV: food cravings are less

[Unibok]

Wow, Blair, this whole30 experience has been such a mixed bag for you! I am so sorry to hear about your back pain and trip to the ER. Your body sounds like it is under so much stress. That makes your NSVs all the more remarkable: no cravings? amazing! 

Veggies will help with your constipation for sure. I googled "Whole30 curry recipes" and a whole bunch of good looking options came up. They all have a sauce base of coconut milk, which provides that creaminess that you love, and the veggies/chicken/whatever are swimming in that yummy creamy goodness. You know you like sauces -- and this Whole30 experiment has confirmed that for you -- so curry seems like a perfect thing for you to cook! For now, you might even double the amount of veggies to try to get more to help with the constipation: carrots, cabbage, onion, broccoli, whatever is on sale or whatever looks good to you. 

I really like making curries because they are one-dish meals on the stovetop. Basically, put the stuff in and let it simmer while you do the other million things you need to do. If you try it, I'd love to hear how it goes.

Hugs to you,

[xx_firefly]

Oh gosh, I’m so sorry this has been a tough thing for you. At least you have 10 days left (you’re in the home stretch!! )At least there are some positive take aways for you?

You can do it!

[Blair W]

Day 20:

Meal 1: an apple with almond butter

Meal 2: a can of green beans and 1/2 banana

Meal 3: no bean chili

No snacks

Water: 100 oz

 

Insights: This morning was hard. I was incredibly nauseous and couldn't move for fear of triggering my muscle spasm again. I know I didn't eat very much today but that was honestly the least of my concerns. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow to see what I can do about my back and blood pressure. 

NSV: reduced sugar cravings

[Blair W]

3 hours ago, Unibok said:

Wow, Blair, this whole30 experience has been such a mixed bag for you! I am so sorry to hear about your back pain and trip to the ER. Your body sounds like it is under so much stress. That makes your NSVs all the more remarkable: no cravings? amazing! 

Veggies will help with your constipation for sure. I googled "Whole30 curry recipes" and a whole bunch of good looking options came up. They all have a sauce base of coconut milk, which provides that creaminess that you love, and the veggies/chicken/whatever are swimming in that yummy creamy goodness. You know you like sauces -- and this Whole30 experiment has confirmed that for you -- so curry seems like a perfect thing for you to cook! For now, you might even double the amount of veggies to try to get more to help with the constipation: carrots, cabbage, onion, broccoli, whatever is on sale or whatever looks good to you. 

I really like making curries because they are one-dish meals on the stovetop. Basically, put the stuff in and let it simmer while you do the other million things you need to do. If you try it, I'd love to hear how it goes.

Hugs to you,

Oh yes, I have been making curry for years. I love thai food. It is just hard to make it too often because it is spicy and my daughter doesn't like spicy food. I don't like to prepare two separate meals, nor do I force my daughter to eat spicy food, so I usually reserve spicy dishes for when she is at her grandparents houses. Anyhoo, thanks so much for the great suggestions! Yes, it has definitely been a mixed bag. Nonetheless, I think this program has been incredibly beneficial for me and I am hoping there are a few things I can hold on to long term for healthier eating habits.

[Blair W]

3 hours ago, xx_firefly said:

Oh gosh, I’m so sorry this has been a tough thing for you. At least you have 10 days left (you’re in the home stretch!! )At least there are some positive take aways for you?

You can do it!

Thanks so much! Yes, I am happy to be on the home stretch and am incredibly surprised I was able to do it. This is my first ever diet and I truly didn't think I had the willpower to do it at all, let alone complete it. 20 down and 10 to go...woohoo!

[Blair W]

I am going to my mother's cabin for the weekend so I knew I needed to go ahead and plan for next weeks meals now since I will be busy this weekend. Then it hit me. I am out of recipe's I want to try. I have spent endless hours scouring pinterest for recipes that sound good to me. I have a cooked a new recipe every single day of this diet so far, and so far, I have not liked even ONE of them. Some are more tolerable than others, but I have not actually liked one. I am realizing that for the last 7 days of the Whole30, I am going to have to start doing repeats and I am terrified. It is easier to be optimistic when every meal I have a hope that maybe it will be good, but to finish the entire week KNOWING my meals are going to suck.....I just don't know if I can do it. I have a few more meals to carry me through the next few days, but I am really worried about when they run short. 

Also, I am realizing how picky I am. Here is a list of foods I refuse to eat:

• Anything from the ocean
• Anything with vinegar in it
• Mushrooms
• Mayonnaise/Mustard
• Brussel Sprouts

Foods I do not want to eat, but will if I have to:

• Bell peppers
• Zucchini
• Tomatoes

It doesn't seem like a lot to me, but honestly, it eliminates SOOOOO many compliant dishes, and FORGET about any kind of sauce. Ugh, I am so over it. I literally DREAD mealtime every day. I wish I didn't have to eat at all so I didn't have to suffer through all of the effort of cooking, just to not like the meal. I am having such a hard time forcing myself to eat enough to just get me the basic caloric intake I need to keep going. I just hope I can finish it. 9 more days. Ugh.

 

 

 

[Blair W]

Day 22:

Meal 1: sausage hashbrown egg bake

Meal 2: I spent 2.5 hours making a butternut squash soup only to find out I don't like it. So I had a few bites, then some olives and a banana

Meal 3: Coconut Lime Chicken and a cup of Naked Green Machine

No snacks

Water: 100 oz

 

Insights: After reading Uniboks entries, I am realizing I am not counting all my NSV's. I was only acknowledging physical changes, not other victories. I will try to do better about acknowledging those. 

Today was a hard day, I am becoming increasingly sick of all the food we are eating. I am getting more and more sick of meat, eggs, potatoes, onions, etc. since we are eating them so much. I am afraid of how I can sustainably eat well long term if I am so sick of the food already. Oh well, 8 more days.

NSV: Pants feeling looser, stayed on program even though it felt helpless, talked through my feelings with my husband without using food to cope with emotions, no dessert (used to be a daily expectation for me), felt tempted by desserts at the store but didn't buy any, and probably a lot more I am not thinking of right now.

 

 

 

[Blair W]

Day 22:

Meal 1: Hashbrowns and 1 cup of Naked Green Machine

Meal 2: Chili

Meal 3: Chicken Fajitas and 1 slice of watermelon

No Snacks

Water: 100 oz

 

Insights: Today was fun but it was definitely a bummer that I had to miss out on some homemade monkey bread. It is not so much that I love monkey bread, I just love new food experiences (especially when they are a dessert!). 

NSVs: Said no to monkey bread, stayed on-program while vacationing at a cabin with my friends, tricked my daughter into eating bell peppers lol

[Blair W]

Day 23:

Meal 1: 2 scrambled eggs with onion and tomatoes

Meal 2: Chili

Meal 3: Was supposed to be Garlic Bacon Spaghetti Squash but ended up being Squash Mac n Cheese and steamed broccoli

No Snacks

Water: 100 oz

 

Insights: Yet again, I cooked for 90 minutes only to find I HATED the food. It was late and I still needed to bathe my toddler before her bedtime so I didn't have time to start cooking anything from scratch. I didn't have any leftovers or other meal food that was ready to go. My daughter also hated the meal (she is not picky at all so that is RARE for her) and asked if she could have the Butternut Squash Mac n Cheese I bought her at Trader Joes for dinner. I agreed since I knew I could prep it fast. After I made her plate I just sat and began to cry because I just didn't know what I was going to eat. My sweet girl suggested we share her dinner so I had a small portion of the mac n cheese along with a large portion of steamed broccoli. I didn't give in because I was tempted by what she was eating, I gave in because I simply couldn't face trying to figure out another meal with no time to prepare it. 

Now I am left with two options: 

• Quit
• Finish out my last week like it didn't happen

I choose to go ahead and try to finish out the week. I know I cannot say I "completed the whole30," because I didn't, but I do know that another week of clean eating will be better for me in the long run as opposed to quitting now. Starting my whole30 over is not an option for me. I cannot stand living like this so there is no way I would ever agree to do it again. I definitely believe in the program, and would recommend it to anyone, but I am just too picky to eat like this. I hate everything I am eating and am miserable all the time from having to spend so much time cooking food I don't even enjoy eating. 

Thoughts?

[Blair W]

Day 24:

Meal 1: Hashbrowns and salsa

Meal 2: Thai carrot and sweet potato soup

Meal 3: No-bun hamburger with bacon, onion, and guacamole

No Snacks

Water: 70 oz

 

Insights: I am just over it. I am so ready to be off the restrictions so I can go back to my happy life of cereal and coffee in the mornings. I am also tired of drinking SOOOO much water. I am weird in that I hate drinking water. I usually only drink about 15 oz a day so having to drink 100 oz a day has been miserable for me. Last night, I just. couldn't. do. it. anymore. 

NSV: stayed on program (other than not drinking enough water)