Ji's Journey (W30 #1 - Jan 2019)

[Jihanna]

This is an online log to help me chronicle my first Whole30 journey. The hope is that I'll record each day's "foods and moods" on a page in my planning binder, but I also want to log it here (in case of planner loss or idiocy on my part, mostly).

A few reminders to myself as I prepare (and explanation to others, if anyone happens to read this):

+ I'm bipolar, and I will continue to take my non-compliant medication daily. This isn't stubbornness, it's acceptance that I am my best self when I allow the medication to support me. I will follow the plan strictly, otherwise.

+ I'm allergic to cats and dogs, have massive sinus issues, and head stuffiness often becomes a few weeks of bronchitis. I plan to deal with any such issues using natural methods that are compliant with Whole30, but will put health first and go get antibiotics if anything leads to sinus/bronchial infection.

+ I also get severe headaches at times. These are sometimes caused by alignment problems (which can be corrected by a visit to the chiropractor), but not always. As with the note above, I intend to use natural methods that are compliant with Whole30 to deal with headaches, especially since I know they will be occurring as my body detoxes. I will not use headache pain as an excuse to take medications that aren't on plan (in addition to those noted above), instead using every compliant tool I can put my hands on. This isn't a desire to suffer, it's a willingness to make sure the "extras" going in are limited to what's absolutely necessary (see medication note).

+ I won't stop or start over. I totally understand the point behind starting over in certain situations, but I know myself well enough to know that considering a misstep as any level of failure would give me too much ammunition and wind up working against the spirit of doing this.

+ I will do 30 days. I will see non-scale victories. I will enjoy my journey of discovering new things to put on my "favorite foods" list (um, I might need to actually make that list, too). There's more, but this looks like enough to have here for now.

So, all that said... I'm excited to get this ball rolling!

I've got 3 days left (including today) to prepare. The fridge needs to be more W30 user-friendly. The meal prep trays need their pre-wash so I can store them. The meal plan needs to be copied out so I can post it on the fridge and avoid the awkwardness of unplanned meals cooked by others. I'm sure there's more, but I'll tackle it all as it comes up.

Let's do this!

[ShannonM816]

11 hours ago, Jihanna said:

+ I'm bipolar, and I will continue to take my non-compliant medication daily. This isn't stubbornness, it's acceptance that I am my best self when I allow the medication to support me.

Hi, @Jihanna -- i just want to reassure you that this is absolutely the right decision, and is totally in keeping with Whole30. Doctor's orders, especially for prescription medications, always trump Whole30 rules.  Same with the bronchitis issues -- if you know you're starting to have those issues and natural methods don't seem to be doing anything, and there is a medication that prevents it getting so bad that you need antibiotics, take the medicine, or if it sneaks up on you and is bad enough to need antibiotics before you realize it, get the antibiotics as soon as you need them. 

 

[Jihanna]

30 Dec. 2018 -- T minus 2 days

I meant to post last night, but didn't get to it before I slept.

Today's Preparation:

-- I made a spiffy new meal plan pin-up for the freezer door. We've had one for a while, but this one gives more detail and is customized to my Whole30 needs. I'll put 4-5 planned family dinners up on the poster each week; on "DIY" days, I'll grab a frozen tray and everyone else can have leftovers or cook something for themselves/the family.

-- Freezer organization has happened. It's still got stuff that I can't use this month, but others can and undoubtedly will on days when I don't cook (or if they don't want what I cook). I have a nice big area opened up for my meal trays; room for either 6 or 8 meals frozen at a time (I haven't measured, just guessing based on how the first two fit in).

-- Organization has happened for my little shelves in the kitchen nook. This is where I typically keep all my sugars, flours, and so on. All of that's been shifted out to the garage (where I can still get to it but it's not in my face). The very top still has the cereal bags (which won't be moving) and the bottom still has paper bags and popcorn kernals (which might be moving in the next few days). The shelves in between are dedicated to Whole30 compliance in easy reach.

-- The garage shelving has been reorganized. I've got plenty of room for pantry type items, with one whole shelf in the middle and half of one below that. The top inner shelf is now non-Whole30 city, as I've kept Mom's cereals there and it's also got cereal for the kids, pastas, and so on. One side shelf has also been made to house the sugars, flours, etc. that were moved out of the kitchen unit.

I feel very accomplished, and I wanted to do more but I'm trying to take things in stride and work my way through it all slowly, instead of giving myself any cause for burnout.

- Ji

[Jihanna]

31 Dec. 2018 -- Whole30 Eve

Today's Preparation and Progress:

-- Black Coffee!
Seriously, this is a MAJOR accomplishment for me! My sugar-spoon was one of those little plastic spoons that comes in a plasticware pack from take-out places, and I used to put FOUR spoonfuls of sugar in one mug of coffee. I had to cut the creamer when I went fully non-dairy, but that just meant I wanted the sugar even more. About 4 weeks ago, I started cutting back on the sugar, by putting just a little bit less in every day... I'd gotten down to about 2 spoonfuls, and was relatively happy there. The decision to do Whole30 in January led me to start reducing again, until yesterday I did half a spoonful and today I tried it without any - and it's fine! So yay, I can have coffee in January!

-- Last day of Coke... 
I know, I know, it's horrible to eat/drink things right up until the point of starting the count... but think of this as a final farewell. I've "given up" soda before, but after a few/handful of weeks, I get thirsty while I'm out driving or forget to grab a drink to take with me to an appointment, or any other excuse, and I stop to grab a fountain drink from the Circle K. That has to stop. It's only $0.85, but it adds up quickly. It's also exactly the kind of junk I don't want to keep ingesting. So Coke (and anything like it) can go the way of 2018 and become part of my history, leaving 2019 a time of healthy choices.

-- Clean Trays
All of my meal prep trays are now pre-washed and stored in the side pantry in the kitchen. Easy to grab and easy to store again after cleaning. I bought 3-slot containers from Amazon, because I am picky about some foods mixing and these allow me to keep things separate (the book that comes with the set doesn't follow a Whole30 approach to meals, but I like that I have the bag for when I'm needing to take lunch out with me!). I may eventually buy some with just 1 compartment, we'll see.
(https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B07CCGWQXC/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o02_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1)
I realize that glass is ideal, but glass tends to break around this house, so I've opted for trays that hopefully won't have to be replaced before I even get to the end of the 30 days

-- Spiralizer is here!
I also ordered a veggie spiralizer, which got here today, yay! Next week's meal plan will definitely include something that calls for using it!
(https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B07CVB8KBD/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1)

-- I made MAYO! ...and it's GOOD!
So, I usually don't like mayonnaise... at all. I don't put it in anything that it can be seen/tasted once a dish is finished, but I do love deviled eggs and egg salad, so I've considered it to be a necessary evil for quite some time now. Knowing the stuff in the fridge has soybean oil, I made some using an amazingly easy immersion blender recipe, and this stuff actually tastes pretty darn good. I mean, it's not eat-off-a-spoon good, but I could handle tasting it in something. I think I'm going to try to get my hands on some avocado oil before I make another batch, though, since so many bloggers swear by that as their favorite oil for mayo.

-- Trays are ready to go
I've got 4 meal trays ready to go. Tomorrow morning calls for a breakfast casserole (which will have remaining portions split up and frozen), and tomorrow evening calls for another full meal, so I should have plenty of food as I go into our first "DIY" day (which also is when I have to make sure my meal plan for next week is finalized, since I shop on Thursday for plans that run Thursday to Wednesday).

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I'm excited, and it's starting to feel a little surreal, kind of like when you're in a slightly overwhelming situation and you know it's really happening but everything has kind of a hazy halo surrounding it... or maybe that's only ever happened to me, who knows?!

It's only 19:30 here, but I don't see myself posting later tonight, so...

-- GOODBYE 2018 --     and     ~! HELLO 2019 !~

To quote a Matthew West song:
"It's day one of the rest of my life..."

[Jihanna]

1 Jan. 2019 -- Day One... of the Rest of My Life
(if you didn't look up that Matthew West song, it's worth it)

My weekday mornings usually look like this:
- up around 6, girls around same time (TJ by 6, AJ by 6:20)
- TJ feeds herself and gets dressed while I get me and AJ ready
- downstairs by 7 to wait for TJ's bus and get AJ's breakfast & lunch
- TJ gets on the bus at 7:10-7:15, then I drive AJ to her school
- car line doors open at 7:30, so I'm usually home by 8

I'd rather eat when I get home, not be stuck cooking at that point, so I think my normal plan should include Sunday prep for breakfast foods to hold me through the week. I didn't think of that until just today, of course, but I'll definitely be adjusting for next week's meal plan.

Today being the school holiday that it is, I slept in until almost 7 (which was greatly needed, since I was up until after 1am due to official fireworks, unofficial fireworks, and howling dogs). Two mugs of coffee have convinced me that I'm alive, and the cup which would normally house coke or tea has slowly melting ice instead... I'm sure that'll change at some point.
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Meal 1 - 8:45
leftovers from Sunday night

So... I was going to make an egg bake for breakfast, but I totally forgot to pull down the ground turkey so it could thaw overnight in the fridge. Meal 1 wound up being a tray of leftovers from Sunday night, and I'll have to make the casserole later today.
* taco meat (https://laughingspatula.com/fresh-and-easy-taco-meat)
* steamed broccoli (seasoning: salt, pepper, garlic, crushed red pepper)
* roasted sweet potatoes (seasoning: olive oil, salt, pepper, tarragon)
* roasted acorn squash (seasoning: olive oil, salt, pepper)

I feel a little silly over forgetting to thaw the meat. I was so excited, even last night, about trying out a new breakfast casserole, and it totally slipped my mind. My exact reaction was "Oh, I'm an idiot!", so that's definitely something I need to change... I'm not stupid, just forgetful, and talking down to myself just because I haven't properly prepared for what I planned is just -- mean? rude? unnecessary.
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Meal 2 - 14:15
breakfast bake (https://40aprons.com/whole30-breakfast-bake-sausage-eggs)

I used ground turkey to make the sausage, and I doubled it so I could use half for the casserole and also make some patties to freeze. We're out of plain red pepper flakes and our Creole blend wasn't compliant, so I skipped that part and the cloves. I also halved the salt (so 1/2 tsp per pound of meat) and added in some garlic (1/2 tsp per pound of meat). My "pinch" of dried marjoram was 2 shakes of the bottle (per pound of meat, so I used 4 shakes total today). For the record, even hubby didn't put any extra salt on the sausage patties he ate, which is saying a lot. I may even reduce the salt further next time I make them, maybe down to 1/4 tsp per pound, and see if it works for me because I can't even imagine how salty it'd be with the full amount called for by the recipe!

AJ (9yo) is a very picky eater (due in part to severe sensory issues with food textures), and usually won't eat any type of "real meat" but surprised me by wanting to try one of the sausage patties. She LOVED it, and wants to have another one for breakfast tomorrow. SCORE! That right there makes the day a win for me, regardless of anything else that may happen, because finding things that will work for her is so. freaking. difficult!

For the casserole itself, I tweaked the recipe for us again. Instead of the full amount of salt, I instead just twisted a sea salt grinder a few times over the eggs themselves. I also added a few turns from a pepper mill and a full tsp of turmeric. I also used half a medium sweet onion (instead of green), about 6 baby portobellos (instead of button mushrooms), and as close to the called-for amount on spinach that I could manage with what was in my freezer.

My thoughts? It was very heavily spinach-y, a bit too much maybe. I did find that adding a small dash of salt (once it was on the plate) did help with the taste, but the spinach was still just overpowering so I'll reduce that to 12oz (1 full bag) next time I make it (or sub in some freshly chopped baby spinach, or even broccoli). I think I might also increase the amount of tomatoes and possibly add in a dash of garlic and some paprika to the eggs before pouring them over the meat and veggie mix. Overall, it's very satisfying (even as it is now) and I'm going to enjoy making my way through the leftovers!

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Meal 3 - 18:30
meatballs with avocado tzatziki (http://www.primallyinspired.com/greek-meatballs-avocado-tzatziki-sauce/)
tomato and roasted red pepper soup (https://laughingspatula.com/skinny-tomato-and-roasted-red-pepper-soup)
salad (chopped baby spinach, cucumber, green bell pepper, boiled egg, no dressing)

I skipped anything non-compliant (like sugar in the soup) and went with dill for the sauce, because I love dill. We also had less avocado than we wanted for the batch, so got creative with mayonnaise and some extra seasonings, but it turned out so yummy served over the meatballs! The soup was absolutely delicious, and it went very nicely alongside the meatballs. I plated a quick baby spinach salad with diced cucumber, diced green bell pepper, and diced boiled egg (no dressing), since I wasn't happy with the veggie level from just the soup. I will totally be making both parts of tonight's dinner again!
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I'm tired, but in a good way. It's an I haven't had caffeine since this morning (not to mention there's been no sugar coming in all day) kind of feeling, alongside knowing just how much cooking I did, which is definitely more than normal (two full meals today, instead of my usual 1). I totally deserve getting tomorrow off, so I'm glad I'd already marked it as a DIY day for the rest of the house. I'll be quite happy to heat up one of my trays and enjoy the fruits of my labor and preparation!

I've been drinking orange water all day -- basically just a few slices of fresh mandarin (I ate several while peeling it, haha!) and a TINY bit of the natural juice out of a jar of them, then topped with water and ice throughout the day (without adding more juice). It's just enough of a hint of flavor to tell me there's more than water in my cup, and it's quite lovely overall. I've never been much of an infused water type of girl, but I think this might grow on me... and I'm sure I'll experiment with other flavors, too, but mandarins are what I have on hand just now

I'm looking forward to tomorrow. My head hurts a bit (I'll deal), and my neck and back are sore. My right knee popped last night and has been hurting today, along with the back of my left ankle. I am seriously considering calling the chiropractor tomorrow to see if I can get worked in sometime this week, but part of me is tempted to wait until my body's had a few days to deal with these changes (maybe not try to get in until Friday or Saturday, at the earliest) and see what happens.

Any way around it, I seriously doubt I'll have a hard time falling asleep tonight. I'm already yawning heavily and it's not even 8pm. It's been a good day, though, and I feel great about what I've done. Tomorrow's a new day, and thankfully I've got all 3 of my meals taken care of with meal trays

[Jihanna]

2 Jan. 2019

I went to bed around 22:30 last night and feel like I fell asleep pretty easily. Waking up this morning was somewhat difficult -- I initially woke with a feeling that I was going to be late for something, but a glance at the time showed it wasn't quite 5:00 (an hour earlier than my usual wake-up time), so I had wondered if maybe I woke from a dream where I was running late; I haven't yet turned my alarms on for "normal life" during the school year, so it was 7:00 when my alarm buzzed, and I was SO TIRED, feeling like I'd barely slept, and I'm guessing this is part of what happens when sugar's not included on the menu every day. I finally crawled out of bed at 7:30.

********************

Meal 1 - 8:00
leftover breakfast casserole

I felt a little rushed this morning due to an appointment, so although I ate slowly and enjoyed it, I had only one little square of breakfast casserole and it didn't fill me like I'd needed. I think maybe I'll have to add a sausage patty or boiled egg next time, or even a banana, if I don't want 2 full squares of the casserole itself. I will say that the level of spinach was much less blatant in the reheated square than what I'd tasted fresh from the oven yesterday.

Snack - 10:45
apple slices (about 1/2 or 2/3 of a large apple) and plain almond butter
banana

I'm doing my very best to plan things out so I'm not snacking, while still going 4-6 hours between my meals, but breakfast just wasn't enough so a snack is where it's at. My head is absolutely killing me, and I wouldn't trust myself to look at anything remotely sugary/carby right now despite a real desire to do this "the right way" and make good decisions... nevermind the fact that I'm not even hungry, after the fruit. I think it may be time to pull out some tricks for natural headache relief and see how far I'm able to get with that.
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Meal 2 - 14:00
leftover meatballs and tomato soup
mixed greens salad with chicken, cucumber, green bell pepper, and olives
avocado tzatziki dressing

This was almost too much food. Scratch that, it might've been too much, but I ate it all anyway. I don't know if I ate it all because it was there, or because I thought I was hungry, or because the last bit was soup and it was just so darn good. Any which way around it, though, it was a lot of food and I think I'd have done better if I'd made a smaller salad.

That said, I also wish I'd read the label on the rotisserie chicken I used BEFORE eating my salad. We usually get a rotisserie chicken each week, and last week I checked the label and saw that there were noncompliant ingredients in the seasoning on the chicken. We got their "Naked" chicken today, which I assumed meant there was nothing added to the chicken (except maybe water to keep it moist). Bad assumption, as there IS a seasoning blend, and that blend includes rice flour. I could scream, but I'm not going to... and I'm also not going to start over, especially not over the tiny amount that I even had on my salad (I literally tore off maybe enough breast meat to fill a tablespoon, since I already had my meatballs heated up for protein).

So, the lesson of the day is to read the label carefully, even if the person who brought it home knows my limitations and says it's fine. Ultimately, it's on me, so learn and move on.
********************

I got very nauseated after my meal earlier, which paired nicely (sarcasm intended) with the massive headache that had been developing since last night. Nothing I've done today has helped with either symptom, and I couldn't imagine trying to eat real food after barely keeping lunch down.

Meal 3 - 19:30
coconut milk and banana smoothie (no other ingredients)

The smoothie was good, but I feel quite certain it won't give me any lasting satisfaction. I'm okay with that right now, as the important part for the moment was to get something on my stomach while I figure out how to deal with the headache issue (the nausea won't abate until the headache does, if this goes anything like my usual experience). I also feel like I'm sweating, even though my temp is 96 flat.
********************

Overall, today has sucked. I'm super-proud of myself for doing everything I could before taking some Tylenol this evening, but I'm having to take nausea meds alongside it to keep it from coming back up. I've slept more today than I ever have, apart from when I've been sick, so I guess that's saying a lot. My cycle started today as well, which I'm sure isn't helping, either. Despite the amount of sleep I've already had, though, I'm ready to go back to sleep as soon as the meds kick in. I feel like sleeping my way through the headache might be the only way I'm going to survive.

I'm not giving up, but the withdrawal pains are definitely real.

[Jihanna]

3 Jan. 2019 -- 

I feel human, again. Yesterday was rough (way more than I expected, for some reason), but today's a new day and I'm so very happy that I gave in and took some Tylenol and Zofran before bed. I made a little extra coffee this morning, too, just in case I feel it's needed.

Snack - 6:00
I grabbed a banana while grabbing my coffee mugs from downstairs (we wash them in the kitchen, but store them in my bedroom). I wasn't hungry enough to even consider anything more than that, and the little I was able to put and keep on my stomach before going to bed (for the final time) last night wasn't quite enough to hold me until what I feel will be my "normal" eating time for the mornings. "Normal" will undoubtedly change as my body adapts and I get my bearings, though, so we'll see how that goes.

I'm going to be kind to myself today and grab Tylenol right off the bat, because I know today is likely to be difficult still and I feel a little silly for depriving myself all day yesterday. I also feel very proud to know that I was in that much pain but didn't give in to the impulse to go grab a soda, but I think I'll give myself a bit more support today from the start.
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Meal 1 - 9:00
2 small breakfast casserole squares
2 1oz turkey sausage patties

My head still hurts, but at least now it's just kind of a background murmer and not throbbing against my skull like it was most of yesterday. I did get a chiro appointment set up, but the earliest available with my doc is late Monday morning, so I'm hoping someone cancels and I can get in sooner. Once I'm back in alignment, it should help with the pain factor.
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Meal 2 - 15:00
1 apple and almond butter
It's not even a meal, really... I wasn't hungry enough to even think about a "real meal", so I snacked. I'm not on board with the idea of forcing myself to eat just because it's time to eat, which is why I had managed to get to this point of the day without eating anything since breakfast. After realizing that I'd be hungry while cooking dinner, though, I decided to put something on my stomach first.

The headache from earlier is thrumming up again, and I'm convinced it's at least partly related to an alignment issue because I can feel the little thump at the back of my ear with every step I take. I've tried light massage with essential oils that usually help, but no luck today. I wanted to hold out until bedtime for more Tylenol, but I don't think I'll make it through the shopping (after dinner) without it, so I'm going to take it now and see how things go.
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Meal 3 - 18:00
leftover tray (taco meat, roasted acorn squash, roasted sweet potatoes)
steamed broccoli

I also made a skillet hash with ground beef, red potatoes, and carrots, but left that for the others to eat since there wasn't enough for everyone. It wasn't a "planned" meal, per se, but rather something that I could make from what we had without having to go grocery shopping before cooking

Next week's meal plan is done and my grocery list is finalized, so I'm off to grab everything tonight and will deal with the usual post-shopping prep work tomorrow.

***************
22:00

Finally home, with groceries put away. I learned something very good today... LIDL has bacon I can eat! I grabbed two packs of it, put one in the freezer and one in the fridge for a few things I've planned for this coming week. I'm happy to know that I don't have to order it from online, though, and I made sure to let one of the employees know that they can answer YES! if anyone asks if they have bacon that's Whole30 compliant

I'm tired, and will sleep soon, but I've got a ton of stuff in the fridge to get sorted and situated once I wake up tomorrow. My first "fish dish" is tomorrow night, too -- I'm not a fan of most seafood, and I'm usually very bad about fish in general (e.g., the smell will turn my stomach to the point that I have to leave restaurants if it's in the air), BUT I know it's good for me so I'm going to give this a shot. I have what I'm hoping will be a good starter recipe, so we'll see how that turns out.

Tonight I'm feeling a lot better than last night, and think I'll manage to sleep without pain or nausea meds... so I hope that trend holds. I'm feeling more hopeful than I did yesterday though, for sure!

[Jihanna]

4 Jan. 2019 -- 

I was up late last night, and slept late this morning as result. I'm thankful that I can still do that this week, as next week it's back to 6am mornings. I also skipped the caffeine so far today, because I wasn't in the mood to make coffee.

Meal 1 - 9:30
3 eggs, fried "over hard" (in coconut oil)
small baby spinach salad with green bell peppers and tomatoes
avocado tzatziki as dressing
handful of olives

I steamed a dozen eggs in the pressure cooker, and about time because we were out and I need them for lunch most days. I also decided to flip my original plans for dinner tonight and tomorrow, so I'm able to make the best use of the avocado supply before it turns brown. Sometime post-lunch, I'll plan on making the turkey avocado burger patties for tomorrow (or at least mix the stuff up and store it, maybe I'll do the patty-making tomorrow) to get that part out of the way. I might also go ahead and cut the citrus a bit early, so I'm not having to do that right before I start cooking later today.

13:15
My headache still hasn't subsided, and I've put off taking Tylenol for as long as I could, so I'm hoping it'll dull the ache enough to either make it bearable or let me sleep some of it off before I get started with my afternoon work.
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Meal 2 - 14:30
2 boiled eggs, salad, and olives

I'm sure I'm not getting anywhere near enough starchy veggies in my daily intake right now, but I'll have to adjust that as time goes. I do plan to try out my spiral slicer tomorrow (with butternut and sweet potatoes), so maybe that'll help.

I took a nap and rested for about 35 minutes, then jumped up so I could get the prep finished for the turkey avocado burgers (made them into patties and froze, so now they're ready to thaw tomorrow in time to cook for dinner). As I finished that part, it was time to get started on dinner work.
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Meal 3 - 18:30
baked flounder with a citrus-filled side salad
zucchini
banana

Dinner was amazing. I hate fish... have done for years, decades even... can't stand the smell of it, it makes me sick, etc. But I have to tell you, I didn't smell fish the whole time I was cooking, nor after it was finished, and it had just a slight taste to it. I could tell I was eating fish, but it wasn't sickening at all (and I actually really enjoyed it when I paired it with the blood orange slices). So I guess maybe I just hate the way most fish smells and is prepared, haha, because I could definitely do this again.

That said, though, I'm tired and I definitely want to be in bed earlier than I was last night, so I'm going to head on out now to wrap up the little things I tend to do before sleep.

Day 4 successfully managed, and ready to take on day 5!

[Jihanna]

5 Jan. 2019 -- 

I feel so much better today! My headache is still there, but it's a very VERY dim presence now. I'm having coffee this morning, and I've really enjoyed our text group this morning.

Meal 1 - 9:00
boiled egg, citrusy fruit salad, banana
baked potato topped with sauteed onions, peppers, and mushrooms (ate half)

I was only able to get through about half a boiled egg with the rest of my food this morning, and that was due more to texture than fullness (I think). I'm considering the idea that I might need to whip up some deviled eggs or egg salad, and see if that's easier to eat when I'm planning to have eggs as the primary protein in a meal.
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Meal 2 - 13:00
medium-sized salad, mostly greens
the other half of my potato w/sauteed onions, peppers, and mushrooms

I've been working on reorganizing my recipes today, and making slow but sure progress. I found this awesome recipe system called Copy Me That (CopyMeThat.com). It's free to use, and it even has an extension for Chrome that will pull the recipe directly from the site I'm looking at - then, I can go in and customize the recipe for myself, make notes, etc. but still retain a link back to the original. I'm excited and impressed so far, and I'm looking forward to getting my recipes in so I can actually use the other features (like meal planning).
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Meal 3 - 18:00
turkey avocado burgers
roasted sweet potato wedges
salad greens with homemade dressing

So. Delish. <- and I don't talk like that, but really, it was amazing. I usually cook sweet potatoes in a slightly different way (closed foil instead of open roast), but these turned out so very yummy. I was pleasantly surprised by the burgers, too. I'm really not an avocado fan, but they blended very well with the taste and texture of the turkey in the burger. It was a win for me, and everyone else.
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Today saw no headache meds, no nausea meds, and no real irritability. I'm also falling into more of a comfort zone in terms of not feeling like I need to push hard to make creative things... as long as it's good, my family (and I) will be happy.

[Jihanna]

6 Jan. 2019 -- 

Meal 1 - 8:30
scotch egg and small salad

It was incredibly easy to make the Scotch eggs, and they're actually pretty darn good. I think I'd like the sausage by itself more than I like it wrapped around the boiled eggs, but either way they're good and it's an interesting twist on the typical sausage and eggs.
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Meal 2 - 12:30
bbq pulled chicken
bacon/broccoli/ranch twice-baked potatoes
steamed broccoli

This was one of those meals where I had a very hard time controlling myself. Despite not being at all hungry anymore after my first plate, I still found myself wanting a full second plate (I did get more of the potatoes, but didn't load up completely). The barbecue sauce was delicious, not as sweet as the ones I'd use normally but definitely much better for us, and easy to make from scratch. I love it!
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Meal 3 - 18:00
leftovers from meal 2

I don't have much to say to wrap up today's notes, really. It's been a good day, and I've gotten a bit of insight into how I think about food... delicious = temptation to put more on my plate, even after I'm already feeling like I've eaten enough to satisfy me. That's something for me to keep an eye out for, as the coming days go by.

[Jihanna]

7 Jan. 2019 -- Closing out Week 1

Today's the first day back to school for at least one of my kids, which means I had to be up earlier than I've been doing during the break. I dreaded it. I set all the alarms that I usually have (mine, the "warning" wakeup for my kids, the "final" wakeup for my kids, and the "go downstairs" one), plus a another one 30 minutes before my usual wakeup time just to jar me enough to make sure I hear the real one and get up. I didn't make it to bed until about 11pm, so I was dreading the early morning.

I didn't hear the "prep" alarm at 5:30, but did feel the phone (my alarm clock) vibrating at 5:35 to say that I'd missed it. By 5:45, I was ready to get out of bed, 15 minutes earlier than planned. Yes, I am having a mug of coffee while typing... but no, I didn't wake up zombi-fied and craving caffeine. The coffee may or may not have been needed (there was at least one morning this past week when I'd skipped it entirely and felt fine all day), but my schedule today is full enough that I wanted to make certain that I'll be alert and functioning until bedtime tonight.

Meal 1 - 9:00
baked potato and fried egg

I went to the chiropractor today, thankfully. I was definitely out of alignment, and of course now that I'm adjusted there's some pain... but not enough to make for any real difficulty. I'm just glad to know that my neck shouldn't be contributing to headaches again for at least a week or few. My last adjustment held far longer than that, so I'm hopeful!

Meal 2 - 13:00
leftover bbq chicken and twice-baked potato, steamed broccoli

I'm tired this afternoon. Really tired. There was one point around 2pm that I could barely keep my eyes open, but I knew I couldn't nap because I needed to leave at 2:45 to take my 14yo to an appointment. I did manage to stay awake the rest of the day, but all day there's definitely been an underlying sense of tiredness... not exhaustion, really, just weariness.

Meal 3 - 18:00
leftover baked chicken, acorn squash, green beans, and sausage/potato bake

Note to self: acorn squash doesn't heat up as quickly as the rest of the food, at least not when the whole plate started out frozen. It's probably going to be a good idea to skip that stuff on the freezer plates, saving it for fridge plates instead.

Despite the level of tiredness I've been experiencing today, I'm closing things out around 11pm. I'm hopeful that tomorrow morning will go as well as this morning did, but I also know that I really need to be getting into bed by this time at the latest, every night... more like 10 is probably preferable.

I went to the store earlier to buy some non-dairy treats for my 9yo. I could have baked them, but I'm very happy with the decision to buy them instead. It's not that I wouldn't have trusted myself to bake them for her and not eat any myself (it wouldn't be the first time that I'd completely skipped even one taste from a batch of brownies), it's just that I really don't want to do that type of baking while doing this program... for me it wouldn't be compliant, and I don't feel like making it okay to do it for anyone else right now, either. They can wait until February!

[Jihanna]

8 Jan 2019 -- day 8

I woke up quite easily again this morning, despite only having around 6 hours of sleep, so that's one part of this program that I'm enjoying to the fullest. I'm still wanting to go to bed a little earlier, though, to see if I feel ever better at wake-up (and maybe nix the 2-3pm heavy eyelid period).

Meal 1 -- 9:15
scotch egg and 1/3 baked potato

My neck is sore today, which is to be expected the day after a chiro adjustment, but I'd kind of been hoping it wouldn't happen since I've loved not having to take any extra meds these last few days. I'll try the hot shower followed by cold pack later, if needed, to see if we can ditch the pain before it gets bad enough to require Tylenol.

Meal 2 -- 13:30
skillet potatoes with turkey, onions, and peppers

My husband is awesome. Yes, it annoys me when he comes home with sodas and snack cakes, or pizza, etc. However, despite his unwillingness to embrace this particular lifestyle change for himself, he IS trying to be supportive of me. One way he supports me is by doing sweet things like cooking me breakfast some mornings, or frying up a yummy skillet meal like today's lunch.

Meal 3 -- 18:30
pork roast with apple gravy, steamed broccoli, and cauliflower rice fried with bacon

I've felt less irritable today, and a little less hungry, too. I'm hoping that's a good sign. I'm also happy because I'm finding some amazing meals that we really like, and that I'll be happy to continue making even beyond the Whole30 days because they're just that good.

My eyes have been hurting a little today, and I'm so far attributing it to the difference in my diet as well as barometric pressure (swings often throw my body for loops, so it's nothing new). My back's also a lot more sore now than it was earlier, despite taking several steps to try to alleviate it, so I'm taking a Tylenol now to ensure I'll be able to sleep at a decent time tonight.

[Jihanna]

I forgot to post this last night, so here we go...

9 Jan 2019 -- day 9

It was harder to get out of bed today. I woke fine at 5:45, when I usually get up to start my coffee and make sure my little ice machine is starting to make ice for the day. It's kind of an early-bird alarm that helps me not sleep through the "real" alarm at 6:00, but if I'm not exhausted I'll usually go ahead and get up with the first one. I didn't do that this morning. Even though I felt okay when it went off, it was a little chilly and I just plain didn't want to get out of bed... so I dismissed the alarm and rolled over. My next alarm went off and I dutifully got up, but I felt a bit more tired than I was when I decided not to get out of bed early. It was odd.

Meal 1 -- 9:00
Scotch egg with breakfast casserole and mandarin orange

I'm finally out of Scotch eggs. They weren't bad, in fact the sausage was quite lovely, but I was really tired of them by the end. They're a fun little novelty item, but I'm not sure if I'll make them again in the future, unless I've got teeny tiny little eggs to do it with.

Meal 2 -- 13:00
skillet fry-up with turkey, potatoes, onions, and bell peppers

My husband stepped in and made lunch again, so that was nice. As much as he's not on board with the food and lifestyle changes for himself, he's found that he can still cook tasty food without using all the stuff that's off the table for me right now. He's quite happy that the herbs aren't off limits, actually.

Meal 3 -- 18:15
leftovers: pork roast and cauliflower rice with apple gravy, steamed broccoli

I can't get over how good the cauliflower rice tasted. I like cauliflower rice anyway, I can eat it without much seasoning at all, but this stuff was just fantastic. I'm definitely going to have to make sure I head over to LIDL every few weeks so I can grab more bacon (they usually have pretty good deals on the other meats I typically buy, also). I had someone laugh at me when I told them that it's not uncommon for me to check deals for 3-4 different stores before doing my meal plan each week; they said there's a point where it's not worth it to drive further, and I responded that I always weigh the savings at other stores against the distance to drive and getting fuel points (to reduce cost of gasoline) at Kroger. I'm not sure they got it, but this is my form of couponing, I guess (I do also use coupons at Kroger, when I've got one that fits the need).

Tomorrow's a slow day, thankfully. I feel like I haven't really stopped today, despite not being in the kitchen all day this time (like yesterday). At least I know I'm sleeping well, lately.

[Jihanna]

10 Jan 2019 -- day 10

Out of bed with the first alarm today, made sure of that! Turned the light on so I'd be less tempted to lay back down, then started coffee and ice before washing my face to help me wake up fully. I'm so pleased with how the mornings are going lately. I'm not exhausted and grumpy, my girls are waking with better moods (they're not on the diet but I know they're affected by my mood and responses to them, so it's helping me set a better tone with them from the day's start), and we're all dressed and ready to head downstairs with time to spare each morning. The downstairs routine seems to go a bit easier now, too, so that's nice.

Meal 1 -- 08:00
leftover pork w/gravy, cauliflower rice, and steamed broccoli

Meal 2 -- 10:45
boiled egg, steamed broccoli, small bowl of fruit (banana and mandarin)

Meal 3 -- 19:45

My hunger meter has been a little off today. Maybe I'm just used to always feeling like I want to eat something, even when I know I'm not hungry... but today I really didn't last long after meal 1 before really needing to eat again, and yet 8 hours after meal 2 I'm realizing I hadn't eaten but I also wasn't feeling hungry.

I've had kind of a dull thrum headache for most of today, figuring it's mostly due to weather changes since we had pretty warm weather yesterday and hit cooler temps overnight (will be even colder for tomorrow). I'm not sure yet if I'll take anything before bed or not, but I am going to post now so I don't end up forgetting again.

[Jihanna]

11 Jan 2019 -- day 11, and officially 1/3 of the way through!

Getting up was harder today. It's not that I didn't sleep enough (I actually went to bed about 30 minutes earlier last night than I had been for the past several), just that I slept wrong so woke up hurting. I did still get up with the 5:45 alarm, though, because I didn't want to stay in bed and chance those final 15 minutes making it even worse. A bit of coffee, some neck stretches, and (in the spirit of honesty) an Aleve... they're all helping, but it might be a slow process on this cold morning.

On a completely unrelated subject, I feel like I'm going to need to change my weekly planner setup a little bit again. I altered this week slightly, compared to last week, but I'm still just missing the space to write in the day's weather notes like I'd been doing last year... so I guess I'll spend a few minutes with my spreadsheet today, to see how I want to add that in for next week. I also need to make sure I put in a tracker for studies, to help me kick my tail into gear for both subjects I'm studying.

Meal 1 -- 09:45
turkey avocado burger
fried egg
baked potato

Meal 2 -- ??
I snacked on fruit because I honestly just plain wasn't hungry

Meal 3 -- 18:30
2 turkey avocado burgers (2 oz each)
roasted butternut squash
ginger veggie noodles
sauteed mushrooms

I was so busy today that I completely missed a meal in the middle, but I didn't actually "miss" it. I had absolutely no sensation of hunger until around 4pm, so I snacked on some fruit to get me through to dinner time. Butternut squash is hard to process but it tastes amazing, oh my goodness. I'm definitely willing to go through the trouble of getting it diced up if it means being able to enjoy it often.

Today's honestly just been kind of a whirlwind. It was grocery day, and we went to 3 different stores to make best use of this week's sales. Most of the stores around here have a sales cycle that starts on Wednesday, so my meal plan runs from Thursday to Wednesday to make sure I get to review sales before I finalize my meal plan and grocery list. I think I spent 3 or 4 hours in the kitchen today getting meat split up for freezing, prepping stuff for tonight's dinner, and trying to break things down a bit for better spatial management in the fridge... and there's still more to do tomorrow! Of course, tomorrow is also another meal, so more of the produce will be out of the way!

Overall, I'm pleased with how today has gone. My husband left his soda on the counter in front of me while I was processing produce, and it took a while for me to even register what it was... I saw it, but didn't really SEE it. When I realized, I just calmly moved it somewhere that wouldn't be in my way as my work area spread out across the counter. I'm quite proud of myself! I also had a chance to speak with a few people about the program and how much different I've been feeling since I started, and it's always interesting to see how they react if they ask me to tell them about the restrictions. I really don't FEEL restricted, though, not at all. I'm experiencing amazing food that I'm going to want to keep in my repertoire long after these 30 days have passed... and I think my family agrees.

[Jihanna]

12 Jan 2019 -- day 12

On the weekend, I only have an 8am alarm. It lets me sleep in, if I'm going to be able to. What usually happens is that my kids wake me up between 6 and 7, regardless of not having to go to school, so it never really results in any extra sleep. Yesterday, however, a friend and I got ambushed by our girls when picking them up from an after-school club, so my 9yo had a sleepover at her friend's house... and I blessedly slept until my alarm sounded. I do think I woke up briefly around 6 out of habit, but it quickly registered that today is Saturday so I stayed in bed. I'm a little groggy and have hiccoughs, but otherwise I don't have that overbearing "oh my gosh, I slept WAY too long" feeling that I used to get if I slept longer than normal.

Meal 1 -- 11:00
2 turkey sausage patties (1 oz each)
scrambled eggs
skillet potatoes (with mushrooms, onions, and bell pepper)
2 small tomato slices
fruit (grapes and orange slices)

Yay for brunch! Double-yay for it being cooked by someone else! My parents surprised me with the offer of a fully compliant brunch today -- minus the bread my dad toasted for himself, which I ignored. Everything was absolutely delicious, and I didn't even mind helping finish up dishes afterward.

I've got to finish getting produce situated this afternoon, in between washing clothes and doing some general cleaning. I think the first thing on the docket is to slice and freeze all the bell peppers we got from the produce market's mark-down bin, then I'll get to work on what's needed for tonight's dinner.

Meal 2 -- 14:30
leftover avocado burger, home fries, and veggie noodles

Meal 3 -- 18:45
roasted sausage and veggies (potato, carrot, onion)
broth-braised greens

Those greens were AMAZING. The husband loved them so much he got seconds, which NEVER happens with greens, EVER! Dad liked them a lot, too. Definitely a keeper recipe for us to use again, not only this month but as a healthier way to enjoy them in months to come also.

I had a lot to get done today, and didn't finish it all but did make good progress. I'm tired, but it's a good tired (not an exhausted feeling at all, just ready to rest).

[Jihanna]

13 Jan 2019 -- day 13

Meal 1 -- 8:30
> sausage, potatoes, carrots, onions
> butternut home fries
> veggie noodles

Meal 2 -- 13:00
salad greens with carrots, olives, and ground beef

Meal 3 -- 18:00
mini-meatloaf (5.5 oz)
roasted sweet potatoes
roasted yellow squash
roasted broccoli

My dreams last night were insanely real feeling, and they revolved around making bad food choices (and then instantly trying to purge). The whole thing was basically me just being absent-minded about eating... it felt like I was just going through motions of normal life, and grabbing food as I went through each setting. I got halfway through a sandwich before I realized I was eating both bread and cheese (the fact that the lunch meat wouldn't have been compliant didn't register), halfway through a piece of pizza before it hit me that not a blasted thing on it would've been okay even by itself because there was nothing but meats and cheese... and in both cases, once it hit me WHAT I was eating, there was an immediate sense of disgust and illness, and I ran for somewhere appropriate to throw up. I really couldn't tell you if the desire to throw up was that it truly made me feel ill, or if it was psychologically brought on because I know it shouldn't be going in right now. The biggest heartache was the thought of having to tell my support group that I'd fallen -- TWICE!

And then I woke up, and all was well. But it shows me that I've GOT to stay aware of what I'm doing with food, all the time, every time. I have to be mindful of what's in front of me before it's even on the way to my mouth. I realize that Whole30 isn't intended to be lifelong, and I know I won't stay quite as strict afterward, but I really enjoy how I feel without certain things going in (especially the ones that I know cause issues due to allergies/intolerance) and I know it's better for me overall if I make those good decisions and don't allow myself to fall back into certain really bad food habits.

Dinner was yummy, once again. The meatloaf recipe isn't one I would've ever thought of myself, but it's really quite good. I also made a compliant ketchup-wannabe (more a zesty tomato sauce, really, but ketchup usually has an odd enough taste for me that I think I like this better). My dad commented that he's really enjoying the meals I'm cooking, so that's very nice to hear... and tells me that this will be something relatively easy to carry over into everyday life after Whole30, because we're enjoying the food enough that we want to keep eating it.

[Jihanna]

14 Jan 2019 -- day 14

Meal 1 -- 9:30
leftover mini meatloves, sweet potatoes, broccoli, and 

Meal 2 -- snacked on some fruit at some point

Meal 3 -- 19:00
skillet: ground turkey and riced sweet potato

Waking up was actually a little more dificult today, and I have to attribute that to pushing a little too far on staying up last night. I'd known I was already feeling tired, but wound up being away for another 40 minutes or so after that... yawning the whole time. So I'm going to have to be more aware of tiredness and pay attention to those cues, getting myself to bed shortly after I feel sleep is needed. I didn't feel bad or anything, overall, there was just a fog of sorts to crawl through before I felt fully functional, while the past several days I've been getting up quickly and feeling immediately awake and aware.

I'm getting tired earlier than has been normal, which might be part of why it's felt "normal" to stay up as late as I did last night. Tonight, we'll go ahead and give in to the need to sleep, and see if that lets me have a better morning tomorrow

[Jihanna]

Another case of "forgot to post before I went to bed last night"... so here's yesterday...
==========

15 Jan 2019 -- day 15

Meal 1 -- 8:30
roasted sausage, potatoes, carrots, and onions
2 small clementines

Meal 2 -- 13:00
ground beef on a bed of greens, with olives

Meal 3 -- 17:45
oven roasted chicken
skillet green beans (with bacon)
roasted acorn squash

While making my 9yo's lunch this morning, I wasn't quite tidy enough with the knife and wound up with peanut butter all over my fingers... which I nearly licked, catching myself just in time. Thinking about it, I'm realizing that I do that a lot with her foods -- lick my fingers or grab a bite of whatever she's eating, before setting her plate down on the table. I had to stop myself to think before she went dairy-free but now that there's no dairy in anything she eats, I realize it had become a habit again to do it without any real thought behind what I was doing.

I've also been seriously considering what my food plans are following Whole30. I realize I can't nail it down now, because I still have to make it through the reintro phase and see if there's anything that will just not work for me anymore... but I like having an idea of what I'm looking at, going into things. Call it a warning of impending transition, where I've mapped out a few possible routes in case of need. We'll leave it at that for now, but it is something I'm thinking a lot about right now, especially since everyone in the family (ok, everyone who usually eats the cooked meals) is really enjoying this healthier way of doing things.

My books are in! "It Starts with Food" and "Food Freedom Forever" are both ready for me to pick up, so I've got to pencil in swinging by the library tomorrow. I actually put a few others on hold, too, but I think it's just cookbooks so I can scroll through and see if anything jumps out as easy and something the family might enjoy. I want to be able to keep cooking the same type of foods without always doing it the exact same one or two ways... variety will make it much easier to keep a good rotation.

I'm more tired today than I have been over the past few, so am going to bed much earlier than I have for the past handful of days (22:15 instead of 23:00). My goal is to be in the bed resting, if not asleep, by 23:00 -- so getting in bed earlier definitely helps with that. I'm a little hungry, but refusing to eat go grab something this late. Instead, I'll just see if I can get breakfast closer to 8 in the morning.

[Jihanna]

16 Jan 2019 -- day 16, and officially past the halfway point

Meal 1 -- 10:00
skillet ground beef, carrots, potatoes, bell peppers, and green onions
2 eggs, over hard

Meal 2 -- nothing?

Meal 3 -- 18:30
veggie-filled turkey chili with baked sweet potato

I forgot to set my 5:45 alarm before I fell asleep last night, so I woke up at 6:00 today. It's not a huge difference time-wise, but I do seem to feel a little better when I get up that 15 minutes earlier (time to bed doesn't seem to matter with that, either). This morning, I went ahead and made sure the earlier alarm will repeat each weekday morning... weekend mornings I've got set to 7:00; if I wake early, it'll be fine, but it's not necessary so this allows me a little extra rest if my body needs it.

I noted how hungry I was last night before going to bed. This morning, right when I woke, I felt it as a dull reminder (not full-on hunger). Now, an hour after finishing my coffee, my stomach's finally started to make a bit of noise to let me know breakfast needs to happen sometime soon-ish.

I have no idea how on earth I skipped an entire meal in there, but somehow haven't actually felt an overwhelming amount of hunger. I suppose it's not that huge of a stretch, though, with how late my breakfast was today... brunch, really. Usually I'd try for an earlier dinner on brunch days, but we've got people with work schedules and I don't want dinner on the table an hour or two before they'll even walk in the door. So, I guess next time I decide to do brunch, I need to make sure I plan for some salad a few hours before the planned dinner time... but again, I'm really not feeling "hungry" yet, either. That's been sort of the overall feeling all day, I know I'm getting hungry but I don't really feel hungry enough to say I need to go ahead and eat.

Dinner was flippin' amazing. I've never had a chili that was so flavorful, and I totlaly didn't miss the beans AT ALL. It was awesome! The fam liked it also, which is always nice to know.

My goal tonight is to head to bed early again (though last night I didn't sleep early, just laid down early, so maybe tonight I can close my eyes earlier as well). I'm ready for tiger blood, but I'm not sure I'm going to get it at the rate I'm going... thinking that in these final 2 weeks I'm going to try to do some low/no-impact exercises to really get things moving even more in the right direction. It's been ages since I've actually felt good enough / well enough to try to exercise daily, but I want to.

[nutburger]

On 1/16/2019 at 6:47 AM, Jihanna said:

I still have to make it through the reintro phase and see if there's anything that will just not work for me anymore... but I like having an idea of what I'm looking at, going into things. Call it a warning of impending transition, where I've mapped out a few possible routes in case of need. We'll leave it at that for now, but it is something I'm thinking a lot about right now, especially since everyone in the family (ok, everyone who usually eats the cooked meals) is really enjoying this healthier way of doing things.

 

I too am thinking about how to transition after the 30 days is up. It feels a little daunting, to be honest. Looking forward to reading about your plans :).

[Jihanna]

@nutburger As of right now, I'm trying to decide on a general outline for approaching it on a slightly longer time-frame than the usual 10 days, so I can reintroduce several things completely on their own instead of as parts of an overall group (that way if I can tolerate those things well enough, I can use them occasionally without worry even if the group as a whole doesn't do well for me). Post-reintro, I'll likely transition into Paleo or something that looks a lot like it. I've also decided that my daughters need this, so I'm going to be spending some time figuring out how to make Whole30 work for my youngest (big issues with food texture, so she's very picky!) and then try to tackle a solid month of it with them this summer (when they're not in school and able to eat off-plan while I'm not there, lol).

[Jihanna]

17 Jan 2019 -- day 17

Meal 1 -- 8:30
leftover turkey veggie chili and baked potato

Meal 2 -- 14:00
Romaine salad with veggies and olives, and homemade ranch dressing

Meal 3 -- 16:30
scrambled eggs with sausage, potatoes, and broccoli

Woke up around 5:30 this morning, but stayed in bed until the alarm went off at 5:45. I definitely feel as though I've gotten decent sleep, but I either slept in a bad position or the pressure did a rapid change overnight -- I've got a headache centering itself on the back right side of my skull; right now, it's just there with a tiny throb, no real pain, but I can tell it's something that will come to be a huge problem later today if I don't try to rid it now. My sinuses have been acting up, too, so weather changes could well be part (or all) of the problem.

Today's been something of a blur, there's just been so much going on. After school drop-offs, I had to come home and finalize my meal plan and grocery list (including the household list for all things non-grocery). Then came the store run, which wound up being 3 stores instead of 2. While trying to wrap up in the last store, my 14yo's teacher called to say my daughter wasn't feeling well and that it might not be a bad idea to pick her up... so I went straight to the school from the store, picked her up, then finally got back home and put away groceries. I hadn't eaten since breakfast at that point, so I grabbed a quick salad for lunch and "relaxed" for about 40 minutes, until time to get back out and go pick my 9yo up from school.

The upside is that I managed to save over $60 on our groceries (and non-food stuff) this week, so a sizeable grocery bill wasn't as big as it would've been without all the sales and coupons.

I think I've been experiencing Tiger Blood today. It actually scared me at first, because it started out feeling a lot like a blooming manic episode. As the day wore on, that manic-high feeling just got stronger... but I never did get any of the craziness that usually goes with that feeling -- I was level-headed rather than rash, thoughtful rather than impulsive, and there wasn't even a hint of the untouchable/invulnerable feelings that I'd also expect at some point. My brain was sort of jumpy, but I wasn't incoherent in my own head or when talking to others. And overall I felt good, just a bit wary because of how many issues I've had with mania in the past. Since all the downsides were missing today, though, it seems like that might actually be Tiger Blood and I'm just going to have to be conscious of the differences between the two and learn to enjoy it rather than fear it.

I worked some today on a plan for reintroduction, which will take about 30 days if I do it like I have it written out at this moment. I may yet tweak it a bit, but I'll give that further consideration over the next week or so, since there's definitely still time to decide on all of that!

[Jihanna]

18 Jan 2019 -- day 18

Meal 1 -- 10:30
leftover chili and 1/4 baked potato

Snack -- 14:00
Larabar

Meal 2 -- 18:30
broiled tilapia, roasted potatoes, roasted broccoli, tomato slice

I allowed myself to sleep in today, since neither of my girls had school. My 5:45 alarm went off and I promptly dismissed it and turned off every other alarm for the day, so I could get as much sleep as my body wanted -- and finally got out of bed at about 8:00. As result, I ate a much later breakfast than is typical for me, and it's thrown me off a bit. It's a good little reminder that so much ties into the sleeping/waking schedule, and a pretty clear indication that I probably need to try to stick to waking around 6-7 every day regardless of what's actually planned on any given day.

I ate a Larabar around 2:00, because I was feeling a twinge of hunger without feeling like I'd be hungry enough to eat a meal anytime soon. If I'm wrong, I'll grab a small lunch later, and deal with dinner as that comes... while still trying to have it ready for everyone else at 6:00, like usual. We're doing fish again tonight (tilapia this time), so it'll be interesting to see if I can stomach it again.

Dinner was enjoyable, but the tilapia definitely had more of a "fish" taste than I'd hoped it would... it's mild, but it was much stronger than the flounder we'd had a couple of weeks ago, and there's some smell to it as well (which I didn't get with the flounder we had). I realize I'm hypersensitive to the smell and taste, and my parents thought it was delicious, so I'll take it as a win even if I won't likely cook it that way again for myself.

I'm not sure how I feel about my meals being so off today, but as long as I'm not feeling hungry, I guess all is well.

Talked with my mom a bit tonight about how I've been doing so far this month. I acknowledged a drastic change in my physical and emotional state, I feel healthier in body and in mind, but had to also acknowledge that I've dropped the ball in several areas due to the hyper-focused way that I have approached Whole30. I'm going to have to work hard to reintegrate those other areas, but it has made sense to me to get myself functioning in a healthy way before taking up the stress that inevitably comes from juggling so many things.

I'm heading to bed shortly, a bit later than has been usual lately but given my later wake-up today that's not entirely unexpected.

[Jihanna]

19 Jan 2019 -- day 19

Meal 1 -- 10:30
2 eggs scrambled with bacon, onion, potato, broccoli
small portion of turkey and carrot fry-up

Meal 2 -- 17:00
2 turkey avocado burgers, butternut home fries, homemade slaw

Meal 3 -- 20:30
boiled egg and fruit

I've been feeling a bit better today -- I've got energy like yesterday, but it's a different kind of feel to the energy... I'm able to do what I need to do, without feeling like I'm about to jump out of my skin, and my brain has calmed down considerably today, too.

My dad commented again about how much he's enjoying "all this new diet's food", which is a good thing considering that we're going to be mostly sticking to this style of eating as we move forward. The fact that I'm the cook for the household helps there, because it's much easier to be sure of everything coming out of the kitchen when I'm the one putting it all together (not that I think my family would purposefully sabotage my journey here, but we have already had a time when I couldn't take something they offered because they'd used non-compliant stuff without thinking I'd be unable to eat it).

I've come to the realization that I cannot do Larabars. Not only do I not care for the large bits of nuts in them, but I also tend to grab for them almost like candy... which (of course) is completely at odds with doing round of Whole30. So, they're out and will stay out until after reintroduction. At that point, I'll reference some recipes and come up with a homemade version that works for me, then occasionally make TINY batches to share with my husband and kids. I definitely won't allow that to become an every day thing, though (I won't fall into the trap of thinking it's fine to have the "paleo" treats because they're "good for me" - that's food as reward mentality, which is part of the thought processes that I'm trying to break for good).

I'm starting to wind down pretty early tonight, which is somewhat surprising given sleeping 'til 8, again. Tomorrow I should be up around 7, though, so getting to bed by 11 tonight will be good (from how it feels now, I'll be heading that way as soon as my kids drop for the night, which will hopefully be soon!).