Not so supportive for my 2nd time


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I just started my second W30 and, as I did last time, I shared my plans publicly on Facebook and Insta and told my family.  The first time I did this, my mom was very supportive (my dad kinda couldn't care less either way- I just tell him what I can eat and send recipes that will work for everyone).  When I told mom in December I'm doing W30 again her initial response was "Why?"  Not inquisitive, more judgey.  I had some lingering effects from gluten and dairy last time and she felt that means this doesn't work for me.  I explained about A) getting out of sync over the holidays and B ) needing to refocus my eating.  She sorta shrugged it off.  I spend a lot of time with my family and we cook together whenever we see each other.  This has me feeling embarrassed and like I don't want to speak up about my needs next time I go to their house.  :( 

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  • 4 weeks later...


Always allow yourself to be comfortable when speaking up about your needs. This is so important, and isn't just about the food you're wanting to eat. Determining how foods affect you is necessary in order to know how to best fuel your body, because it affects your physical and mental health. Unfortunately, food is one area where we almost always have to be our own advocate, because we are the gatekeepers between what's in front of us and what goes into our mouths. Give yourself permission to be strong and to take a stand on this, and know that anyone else's ability to understand should not be vital when weighed against your ability to make healthy food choices.

Cooking together can definitely pose some interesting interactions, but it doesn't have to be (too) awkward if you can have a plan ready for how you want to approach it. For me, if I'm not the one cooking, I'll politely ask what's going into the meal and if anything's not compliant I ask if it'd be too much trouble to substitute whatever compliant thing for the non-compliant one; if they refuse, I'll thank them and make a dish for myself. If I'm helping with the cooking, I'll take the time to plan for that meal with them, and maybe even offer to do the shopping; that lets me make sure everything in it is something I can have, especially if I'm doing the cooking.

Dietary needs can be tricky, but it's something just about everyone deals with in one way or another (whether it's allergy, intolerance, not liking how it affects the body, or just plain not liking the taste or texture). If there's ANYTHING that a person avoids for any reason, that's a great place to start the discussion on what you're choosing to avoid right now, too.

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