I don’t know if it is worth it

[NJdieter]

My husband and I just finished day 7 and are having remarkably different experiences. I am trying to lose about 5lbs and make my pants fit better while he wants to lose about 20. My diet was pretty good before I started (I’d eat a small piece of chocolate some days,especially about 2 weeks before my period, but otherwise eat pretty cleanly), whereas he has a bigger addiction to sugar and white rice. 

 

For me this week has been insanely easy. I miss the convenience of my morning protein shake but have figured out a way around it. Otherwise I have had virtually no cravings and am not hungry. However I haven’t lost any weight at all and my pants and bras are getting tighter,not looser. I’m not really interested in non-getting smaller victories, so if my clothing doesn’t fit better at the end I’m not going to be consoled by anything else that might happen. My husband on the other hand is miserable all the time. He used to get a lot of pleasure from food and now he says that it isn’t worth eating because everything here has is unsatisfying. He’s dropping weight like crazy but hates his life. 

 

Is is it worth continuing if neither of us are getting what we want? Week 1 is supposed to be where one loses water weight and that clearly hasn’t happened for me. I honestly question whether I will come out of this any smaller. He desperately wants to switch to south beach or something else that will at least give him dairy in exchange for starchy veggies and fruits. He has even suggested something like Jenny Craig but I really like the emphasis on Whole Foods and home cooking in this program.

 

I drink plenty of water and walk at least 5 miles/day. I’m getting enough fat through coconut milk (reduced fat) in Indian or Thai curries and oil on roasted veggies. 

 

Any thoughts/suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I just hate seeing him so miserable. 

[NJdieter]

For what it is worth it takes a lot to fill me up in the morning so I will eat my breakfast and lunch (and anything else I might have on hand, which is why I don’t bring any extra) within the span of about an hour most days and then go from 8:30/9:30 to 5:30 or later without needing a snack. It doesn’t matter how much I eat for breakfast, I’m always ready for lunch by 9 at the latest. Eg today I had 2cups of curry with cauliflower, squash, and sweet potatoes and 2 cups of cauliflower rice with okra for breakfast by 730 and was totally fine until I had eggs for dinner (3 eggs scrambled with ~3c of roasted broccoli, onions, and peppers with 1/3 an avocado on top for fat).

 

I don’t drink anything besides water. 

[SugarcubeOD]

Sorry you're not having a great time of it.  You're at the 'pants are tighter stage' which you can read up on in the timeline linked in my signature below so that might be helpful.  Also, it's a 30 day program so expecting to see weight loss, especially if your diet has been great previous and you only have a very small amount of weight to lose is maybe not realistic.

You also aren't eating enough.  You ate 3 eggs total as your protein for the day??  And you go 8 or more hours between meals?  You may want to have a look at the meal template and see how you can better make your meals match the template and then aim for eating every 4-5 hours.  It's also not entirely surprising that you're hungry again after you eat your meal 1 because you have no fat or protein which are critical to satiety.  Fat is what slows absorption of protein and protein is what you need to fuel your body so you're lacking there.  If your husband is eating the same meal composition, then it's not surprising that he's miserable... he's not getting enough food and that is also indicated by you sayiing he's dropping weight like crazy 7 days into a 30 day program that is NOT designed to be a weightloss diet.

[NJdieter]

Thanks for responding. I’m not sure why you think I’m not having enough food and especially enough fats. Curry is made with coconut milk and has protein in it and my eggs had avocado on them. As for the 8 hours between meals, i was still ravenous after eating the first half of my breakfast/lunch but by the time I ate the 2nd half a) I didn’t have any more food with me at work and b) I didn’t really need anything else until I got home anyway. Besides, if I added another meal wouldn’t that just made me gain even more weight unless the other meals are smaller?

i have looked at the template and while my meals aren’t laid out with a protein in the middle and veggies around the side conceptually every one matches the idea of a big of protein, fat, and a lot of vegetables. I have also seen the timeline and am not really experiencing any of the highs or lows that it talks about. That’s why I’m so skeptical about the ability to actually see results and question whether all of this is worth it (for my husband) if I’m not going to. 

[laura_juggles]

Okay, so first thing - you said you're using reduced fat coconut milk, so really, that's mostly water. Not really an effective fat source. Honestly, get enough fat in there, plate up a template portion and eat it. Then wait. Don't finish your food and go "dang, I'm still starving" and immediately go for more food. Go take a little walk and remind yourself that you literally just ate a full meal. You're fighting against your brain telling you that you need to eat 2 meals back-to-back or you'll die. 

Everything you listed as what's in your meals is vegetables, so it's unclear that there's actually any protein in there. 

I'm assuming that one of you does the cooking for a meal and you're both eating the same thing? If so, he's also not getting enough fat (and if you're portioning for him, probably just not enough food in general). He's been not eating enough for a week. I'd be miserable too. 

[SugarcubeOD]

8 hours ago, NJdieter said:

I’m not sure why you think I’m not having enough food and especially enough fats. Curry is made with coconut milk and has protein in it and my eggs had avocado on them.

The way you listed out your meals made it difficult to determine the composition and based on what you said your concern was (feeling starving), I made recommendations.  The more specific you are about what you're eating, the more specific our recommendations can be. You didn't list the protein in a curry so it's not an assumption that we make that there's something in there - there are many types of curry and not all contain protein.  Second, a serving of avocado as a fat is a half to a whole so you're a little short there. We also recommend not counting the cooking fat (like the oil you put on veggies to roast them) because usually that's about a tablespoon for a whole sheet pan so when you split up the portions it's negligible.

I pointed you toward the timeline because you said you felt your clothes were fitting tighter (a 'low' on the timeline) but if you say you're not experiencing any highs or lows, then that's great that you're not experiencing the lows and the highs may come... the timeline again is based on composite experiences of people who have completed the program - it's not prescriptive in that everyone experiences it exactly the same.

[Jihanna]

In addition to what the others have said, your husband is probably dealing with a lot of detox. My diet was essentially made up of all the things we leave out now, and my week 1 was absolutely horrendous. It took time for my body to realize that not only was I not eating the "wonderful" array of things I'd have before, but I also wasn't going to give in to the cravings. Eventually, I stopped missing what I couldn't have because the food I cook tastes amazing. I totally sympathize with the misery, and with the feeling of ballooning instead of shrinking, but by the end of my 30 days I had lost weight, lost size, felt more satisfied by a more diverse selection of foods, had more confidence in the kitchen to try new things, and generally feel healthier overall. There were a couple of points where I considered giving up (one of them was actually on day 2, when I honestly thought I was going to die), but I'm so glad that I didn't.

[Lorna from Canada]

It's hard to know how to help here beyond saying - "yes, totally get it, been there" which isn't very useful. 

Around Day 6 or 7 I wrote my first post about how disappointed I was going to be if I didn't get Tiger Blood and reduced joint pain. I also wanted to lose weight but, since this isn't a weight loss program, I decided to be openminded about that. I was convinced that arriving at Day 30 still experiencing SI joint pain was going to be a huge problem for me - well, you guessed it, Day 30 came and I still have joint pain. Disappointed? Turns out no because the other benefits of completing this program have far outweighed what I expected - namely, reduced anxiety, increased stamina, healthier gut, better understanding of myself and my relationship to food, just generally a feeling of satisfaction and of being in control. Yes, I lost weight - 10 unexpected pounds actually - but that is the least of success. All the Non Scale Victories added up to a hugely successful experience for me.

Sounds like you might need to amp up your time in the kitchen and try some new recipes. I bought an Instant Pot for this W30 and Hubs and I both took an interest in experiementing with it. He discovered that he loves cauliflower rice (shocking) and was happy to discover he could eat as much protein as he wanted. All in all, this W30 has reawakened a sense of adventure in the kitchen and we're less likely to ever go back to default cheese and crackers for dinner.

I hope you will stick with it - tweak things, try something completely different - eat full fat everything (OMG - the BEST!) and give it 30 days. I've read more blogs about "why the W30 didn't work for me" only to learn that the blogger quit after 10 days and, therefore, didn't even do a Whole 30. Please don't be that person - give it 100% and then decide.

Good luck!!

[NJdieter]

Thank you all for the advice. W/r/t my husband, I have no idea what he is - or isn't - eating during the week. I leave for work before he gets up and he comes home as I am getting ready for bed. There is food in the fridge but I can't control what he does with it. He isn't a big meat eater to begin with so this is a pretty radical departure for him. I'm cooking more Thai than usual and while Indian is a staple in our house already I made a couple of new coconut-based curries that were really delicious. We usually eat rice 4-5 days/week but I have been able to switch to cauliflower rice without missing a beat. My son also LOVES the 2 different versions of meatballs that we made last week (so much so that I will be buying 3lbs of ground chicken and 3lbs of ground turkey with the hopes that there might be some left over to take to work).

I guess what I meant by "not experiencing any lows" is that this isn't hard for me *at all.* No real cravings and I'm no more hungry than I normally am (I do the same breakfast/lunch in an hour thing when not eating W30, it's just the way my body is I guess) so I just figure that it must not be doing anything to help. I was pretty proud of myself for going out to a burger place with my coworkers and ordering grilled salmon over greens with avocado on the side rather than the burger and fries that everyone else got. Someone offered me a fry and I wasn't even tempted.

This is day 9 so as long as you (collectively) are pretty confident that this journey will end somewhere good I don't mind continuing along the path.

[SugarcubeOD]

12 hours ago, NJdieter said:

This is day 9 so as long as you (collectively) are pretty confident that this journey will end somewhere good I don't mind

I am very confident that if you follow the rules and the recommendations that you will have success at the end of the program. Keep an open mind about non scale victories as well and maybe have a look at the two page list of non scale victories we have... I'm sure SOMETHING on there will be a success criteria for you   (you can find it by googling 'whole30 non scale victories' and a pdf should come up

[NJdieter]

I think I have figured out part of my husband's problem. He skipped lunch yesterday, skipped breakfast this morning, worked out this morning (cardio + strength training), and claims he isn't hungry for lunch either. No wonder he is miserable if he isn't eating!

[ultrarunnergirl]

On 2/10/2019 at 12:03 PM, NJdieter said:

I think I have figured out part of my husband's problem. He skipped lunch yesterday, skipped breakfast this morning, worked out this morning (cardio + strength training), and claims he isn't hungry for lunch either. No wonder he is miserable if he isn't eating!

Your husband is likely a big sugar burner from your description. It's important for him to get plenty of protein and fat along with his veggies and fruit. The Meal Template recommendations are minimums. We highly encourage everyone to eat 3 meals a day as close to Template as possible at least until your hormones can have time to readjust. 

In addition, his taste buds should adjust to appreciating the flavors of whole foods once he's been sweets free for a couple of weeks.

[NJdieter]

3 hours ago, ultrarunnergirl said:

Your husband is likely a big sugar burner from your description. It's important for him to get plenty of protein and fat along with his veggies and fruit. The Meal Template recommendations are minimums. We highly encourage everyone to eat 3 meals a day as close to Template as possible at least until your hormones can have time to readjust. 

In addition, his taste buds should adjust to appreciating the flavors of whole foods once he's been sweets free for a couple of weeks.

Hopefully. He is a huge foodie so seeing him so apathetic about eating is very disconcerting  

I’m still steadily gaining weight. Apparently eating all this fat and meat/eggs as a source of protein just isn’t working for me.  I have yet to see any NSVs either but at least I’m not having cravings.