Reintro Day... oh I don't know! Help required!

[Lorna from Canada]

@SchrodingersCat @megbeveridge @Jihanna @Lauraco @theHRlady @w30virgo

So, I need some help from my fellow Reintro Warriors.

What constitutes "Worth it" for you? I haven't been able to define worth it - relying, instead, on seeing how I feel in the moment and going with whatever my still deluded brain thinks would be okay. This is NOT reliable because going with how I feel in the moment tends to mean I make decisions that I regret later precisely because there wasn't any thinking or learning applied to the decision. It's more "sure, I can eat that deep fried pumpkin arancini ball and a corn & feta fritter with a rice heavy side salad for dinner. That would be worth it!" later, half way through the cheesy, gluggly rice melange (if this reminds you of a previous post of mine Schrod it should - different circumstance, essentially the same meal!), I'm feeling awful and wondering it Food Freedom is an illusion and, frankly, hating myself a little too which IS NOT RIGHT.

So - please share your ideas for your definition of "Worth It" decision making - I could really use some sparks here.

Warmest regards, love and light to all of you on this journey of discovery.

Lorna

 

 

[SchrodingersCat]

Oh, how I wish I could help!! After my  weekend a few weeks back with the few drinks and a bit of a sugar reintro, yesterday was the first time I thought something might be worth it, and it was a glass of wine, and I did not want another and ended up with a headache.

I'm at war with myself because I must reintro because I have events coming up, but I'm too dang scared to do it! And I wish I could say I feel great for staying basically compliant, but I'm SUPER cranky, I have a headache and have for weeks, I hate food, I hate cooking, I hate thinking of food...  I'm basically compliant and miserable and lost. So I'm struggling right along with you, in that I can't even get to a point where something is worth it enough to even reintro!!! 

I'll be hoping someone has much better insight than I do, as all I can offer is commiseration. 

[Lorna from Canada]

Oh jeez Schrod - that does not sound good! I'm sorry you're going through this but I totally get it. We had great success on our W30s but it's hard to eat just W30 24/7 forever isn't it? I'm eating some things off plan but I don't really want them so, in the end, I don't enjoy them (hence the "what does worth it mean?"). I find myself returning to W30 meals over and over again which I prefer but, given that I'm still visiting here, it's not very easy. I don't think I have any severe intolerances beyond wine (like you too - poor us!!!) although I still haven't reintroduced a bunch of stuff because I don't really want to... Then today, I had a return of feeling a hormonal heat rush come on which had left during my W30 and I'm irritated because I like thermostasis better. So, now I don't know what I'm eating (grains? dairy? wine? I dunno!) that's influencing that. So, I really need to go back on W30 but I don't know if I can do that to my daughter while I'm visiting - I think I'll just muddy along until I get back to Canada April 7th and start another W30 when I get there.

I think we're both in a bit of a circle here.  

[Jihanna]

So sorry to hear you're in a rut and feeling a bit stuck, Lorna (and Schrod)!

I had to approach my reintro as an almost clinical thing, rather than a living and breathing process. I couldn't just go into it thinking that I'd test something when it felt worth it, because I know that my typical MO would be to eat things with multiple groups (and then I'd end up in the same kind of cycle - I'd feel like crap but not be able to point out which thing was bringing on each symptom). I literally made a list of all the things I wanted to test, and then I laid them out in my planner so that I wasn't straying outside of a specific food group until I tested the things in that group... I didn't follow my plan precisely, because I'd left 2-3 recovery days between each test day and for a few things I ended up needing 5-7 days recovery, but the basic outline was there for me to follow.

I also didn't finish with all of them during February, so went into March wanting to do another Whole30. That hasn't worked as well as I had hoped it would, but I take responsibility for that because I decided it wasn't worth the added stress to continue doing full-throttle planning the way I'd done all January... I needed to give myself some grace, else I'd face a breakdown, which I knew wasn't the point of all of this! I'm pretty sure strict Whole30 wouldn't be possible (for me) on a continual basis, even if someone else did all the prep, cooking, cleaning, etc... but I do like how I feel when I'm keeping closer to the foundations than I've managed for the past few days (I went off the rails a bit due to having an insanely hectic schedule that came out of nowhere, which added to my new less-stress half-planned approach didn't work well in terms of staying compliant).

HOWEVER! I am figuring out what my "adapted" version would be... a cleaned-up dietary plan that will work on a daily basis for me, but also gives me room to wriggle when a situation is "worth it" to me. That means no rule that says "skip all dairy", but a knowledge of what dairy is to me (major cause of heartburn and acid reflux that often leads to vomiting and extended periods of nausea, not to mention potential for painful skin reactions that don't heal for weeks afterward) gives me a foundation to say, "dairy really isn't ever worth it"... there's no rule to say "don't eat soy", but I'll know that choosing something soy-laden is likely to bring on gassy bloating (but I'll also know that I can eat some soy without any issue as long as I don't overdo it or eat it on a regular basis)... for that matter, there's certainly no rule that says "broccoli is bad for you", but I definitely limit it now because I know it brings on even more gas than soy!

So I'm off the boat but not drowning, just floating peacefully and knowing that soon I'll find my island home... strange analogy, but it works for my current head-space  Love you ladies!

 

 

[megbeveridge]

I'm sorry to hear you and @SchrodingersCat have had such a hard time! I have basically gone off the deep end already. I've had a steady stream of events and birthdays that have completely knocked me off track, not to mention living with a partner who is very impulsive and doesn't seem to care about the reintro. I'm already planning to do another W30 starting in April!  

That said, for me something is "worth it" if I can control my portion enough to not feel horrible after. I don't feel drawn to heavy cheesy carby foods because if I have too much I know I'll feel ill. However, if it's something I love like mac&cheese, I'll have a few bites and really enjoy them. There are some things that are off-plan that I eat every day, but I try (often I fail) to make sure they're beneficial. I've been eating one to two servings of grains a day, but I aim for them to be 100% whole grain (steel cut oats, 15 grain bread, etc.) to keep me full and add fiber to my diet. I have dairy almost every day, but in the form of plain Greek yogurt, to add protein without meat and help balance my digestive bacteria. So far I haven't found that beans or soy were worth it, so I haven't had them except in the small amounts that they're added to other foods. I think the only alcohol I've had was one glass of mulled wine. I was never much of a drinker even before Whole30 so that's not really worth it to me. 

There are a few things that are definitely not worth it, but my sugar dragon thinks otherwise. That dragon did not go away or even shrink a little during W30 and it's very powerful. Cake, ice cream, and chocolate all fall into that category. What I'd say about those things is, if you can control the dragon, have one serving. If you can't, just stay away! The events and birthdays I previously mentioned have totally ruined me. I find that I deeply enjoy the sugary foods to the point that my body never says "too much!" I have to really be on my game to keep myself in check. 

If you don't mind counting calories, My Fitness Pal is a great resource and keeps me accountable. Something is "worth it" if it's not going to totally destroy my nutrition goals for the day and I really really want it. 

As of now, my tentative April start date is the 7th if anyone wants to join me!

[Lorna from Canada]

On 3/12/2019 at 12:31 AM, Jihanna said:

So I'm off the boat but not drowning, just floating peacefully and knowing that soon I'll find my island home... strange analogy, but it works for my current head-space

What a fantastic image! Love it and the sense of calm and optimisim that you have! 

I am actually not feeling all that stuck - I just can't seem to figure out how to decide if something is really worth it. I know from my reintroduction that wine is a very big and kinda sad problem. I've also discovered a previous unheard of aversion to "gluggy" foods - my teeth really want a job to do  Foods like risotto and macaroni and cheese aren't appealing to me and I could have lived on those before. I'm not missing dairy or legumes - I don't need or want them in my life on a regular basis. So, reintro has been informative. I just feel like I need to put some parameters around non-W30 foods. Like @SchrodingersCat , I'm aware that it'll be a slippery slope for me eventually as it has been in the past so I have some trepidation about it. Eating something because it is a) there and b) easier than not eating it doesn't define "Worth It" for me. And, like @megbeveridge, there are just too many times in my life where food will both be there and easier to eat than to avoid so - what defines Worth It?

Melissa uses the example of her mom's amazing cookies. I like how Meg says:

On 3/12/2019 at 6:56 AM, megbeveridge said:

That said, for me something is "worth it" if I can control my portion enough to not feel horrible after.

That's definitely something for me to put on my list. Wine makes me anxious, over stimulated and sleepless so, can it ever be worth it? Good question to answer for myself! And, right now my sugar dragon hasn't raised her butt ugly head even though I have had a lemon sorbet cone once since this all began. But watching that snoozing beast has become a preoccupation ... can anything that ever has the possibilty of arousing her be worth it? So much to think about but, I really like the conversation because I think Food Fredom is only going to come when I can answer these questions for myself.

MEG! Yes, I'll be doing another W30 starting April 8th when I return to Canada (Schrod - I am NOT missing out on Business Class service again - that was just cruel!). My friend is going to be doing her first and I'm coming along for the ride AND to reset myself after being away from home and my routine for so long. Count me in.

Thanks everyone for your wonderful inputs - it's really encouraging to see how we're all coping and managing everything that's coming up for us in this process of discovery.

[Lauraco]

Hello @Lorna, @Jihanna and all - I haven't been coming to this site because I felt like an old-timer, but loved reading your updates this morning.  I haven't done 'formal' reintro, but have tried some things.  Last Saturday my husband wanted pizza, and I had two slices of pepperoni pizza.  It was my first bread-like thing in 42 days, and second time trying cheese.  I did not have any ill effects, but did feel bloated the next day.  What I liked most about it was that i didn't make it or clean up after making it.  I used to be a huge pizza fan, but  had already stopped liking it so much in the last year (for some unknown reason), so it's not hard for me to not have pizza, picking up something out of convenience is harder.  Then, one night this week my husband was eating some cinnamon toast and I had a bite.  That bite seriously made me want to go get my own 1-2 pieces of toast, it was hard to hold off, but I did.  So, I think carbs are a big sugar dragon activator for me.  I love bread, so I think it's best just to avoid it.  I am also drinking wine occasionally, and I don't have ill effects, so other than the fact that it means I am injesting calories, and I tend to snack on pistachio nuts while I'm drinking it. The problem for me is more calories contributing to weight than how I feel.  I thought this might be the case, because I already stopped eating things if they gave me heartburn, or acid reflux, like too much garlic.  So back to portion control.  

I do like the W30 food and finding new recipes, especially for vegetables.  I also think my inflammation has lessened, which is a really great thing.  My daughter is coming to visit at the end of the month, and she has Celiac Disease, so no problem with possible temptations there!  

I have in my mind that some day I will eat an apple fritter.  So far I haven't hit "worth it" yet.  I think staying off of desserts, sweets, chocolate and bread, all of which make me want more if I start on them, and then lead to overeating, is my plan.  Those items are really pretty easy to avoid, it's a matter of mind control.  And some days I don't feel like I have any control at all!  I just keep those things out of the house as much as possible, and don't let myself think they are options.  

Thanks to all for keeping in touch and sharing stories.  It is so helpful!  I joined "Whole30 Fabulous After 50" on Facebook and there are a lot of helpful and encouraging postings there.  You gals are probably younger, though   

[Lorna from Canada]

@Lauraco Thanks for chiming in - I, too, have felt like an old-timer here (I'm 59) but I am so impressed with all of the younger people taking an interest in their health and nutrition and trying to get a handle on their bodies. I was 45 before I realized my lifestyle was going to kill me if I didn't smarten up! I'll check out that FB page

I think what I am taking away from everyone is that defining Worth It is going to be a process and that we'll do it, like everything else, in our own way. Information like how the cinnamon toast alerted your Sugar Dragon - that would happen to me too. SO, keeping away from those sweet, sugar first things is an easy one - I don't think chocolate and candy is ever going to be Worth It. I just realized that this is the longest I have ever gone in my life without candy! I had a HUGE candy addiction (as did Hubs) - weird to think I haven't had a single thing that would be called candy since January 1.

3 hours ago, Lauraco said:

I have in my mind that some day I will eat an apple fritter.

I love this statement - the hint of promise without commitment. I feel that way about really, really good fresh bread but, I haven't indulged in it yet. yet, I have it in my mind that i could

I feel that I am coming to a decision about alcohol - I haven't quite been able to put it out there that I need to abstain, period. I'm going to do a second W30 starting April 7th when I am home from Australia and decide after that. I would really miss it. sigh*

So - I'm going to carry on with my defining of what's Worth It - this has been a great exercise for me and I really appreciate everyone's contributions.

 

[Shani_SWP]

On 3/14/2019 at 9:05 AM, Lorna from Canada said:

I think what I am taking away from everyone is that defining Worth It is going to be a process and that we'll do it, like everything else, in our own way. Information like how the cinnamon toast alerted your Sugar Dragon - that would happen to me too. SO, keeping away from those sweet, sugar first things is an easy one - I don't think chocolate and candy is ever going to be Worth It. I just realized that this is the longest I have ever gone in my life without candy! I had a HUGE candy addiction (as did Hubs) - weird to think I haven't had a single thing that would be called candy since January 1.

@Lorna from Canada Food freedom is definitely a process! Even for me, after 3 rounds of Whole30 and becoming a coach, I still have to "do the work". The book "Food Freedom Forever" goes a lot in depth, but here's an excerpt from the website: https://whole30.com/2019/02/worth-it-food-freedom/ . Am I 100% perfect? Heck no. Do I do the work 100% of the time? Heck no, but I do do the work most of the time, and I don't punish and berate myself if I eat something without thinking it through. Rather, I go through the process and talk to myself and try to figure out why I didn't do the work (was I sad, ravenous, upset, etc), and remind myself to be more mindful next time.  Knowing that dairy, legumes give me skin issues and gluten makes me feel terrible, all help to keep me eating what is best for me. AND...just remember, because you have a BITE of something, that doesn't mean you need to finish the whole thing if you don't want to!