Whole 30 (July 2)

[Emma]

I know I need to make changes and I know those changes won't happen till I actually DO something differently. The entire day is ahead of me and so far, I'm on track.  I had some labwork done this morning to check for C Reactive Protein. Mine is high. I was supposed to get it tested 6 months ago, but then I started eating poorly again and didn't want to receive bad results again so I postponed it till I started eating better.  Which, aside from 3 weeks testing out a vegan cleanse, never happened.  But, sighing, test results and data are good things so I got the test this morning and sometime in the next week I will have my results and even if I'm hanging my head in shame, I'll have numbers to work on.

I know eating clean works for me and I know when I follow a Whole 30-esque meal plan, I feel better and am healthier. I know this and yet I don't do it. I want to do it and yet I don't do it. Yesterday I started to do it with a great breakfast of eggs, broccoli, and kale.....and then the rest of the day happened and I sought out trail mix (which I suppose isn't the worst of things, but it certainly wasn't doing me any favors).

My ailments:

Arthritis that is a b---- when I hike, walk, or try to jog in my feet.  Osteoarthritis in my knees that is also annoying.  Tightness in my shoulders. Allergies. Sixty pounds overweight. Low energy. Low get-things-done energy. I have such great plans and carrying them out just doesn't happen. 

My vision of myself:

Strong, healthy, vibrant, active.

So today is Day One and I could sure use some support, encouragement, and friendship along this way to help keep me focused and accountable. 

[Emma]

Day One is Done. I don't feel like some raging rock star, but I did it and I did okay.

Meal One: Eggs, Bok Choy, Onions, Garlic cooked in Olive Oil - SO tasty

Meal Two: Prosciutto and Asparagus cooked in Olive Oil - Also, SO tasty

Snack: One of those EPIC bars (some meat paleo bar I picked up at the store before Meal Two so that I stayed on track)

Meal Three: Stir fry of onions, garlic, green onions, pork, and heaps of broccoli slaw with coconut aminos - SO good

Snack: One of those clean paleo bars that are just made up of nuts and egg whites

I didn't really need that second snack. I just wanted to eat something. Really, I wanted to drink something like a beer or a red wine, so my choice wasn't stellar, but nor was it bad. I also did some allergy testing a bit ago, but I never got the results because I was waiting to do that C-Reactive Protein test before connecting back with my doctor.  At times, I've wondered if I'm allergic or sensitive to coconut so I'm sticking to olive oil or ghee till I get my results.

I got a lot of things done that I needed to do which was good. I didn't get the physical labor part done, nor another project, but hopefully tomorrow I'll stay focused. I did meditate today. It's the first time in a long time. I did not exercise though I thought about going to the gym. Every night I plan to go in the morning and every morning I wake up too late to make it there and back before work. The sleep is important and I do manage to get about eight hours a night so I don't really want to mess with that.  Maybe tomorrow morning.

[W30CoachErinn]

33 minutes ago, Emma said:

Day One is Done. I don't feel like some raging rock star, but I did it and I did okay.

Meal One: Eggs, Bok Choy, Onions, Garlic cooked in Olive Oil - SO tasty

Meal Two: Prosciutto and Asparagus cooked in Olive Oil - Also, SO tasty

Snack: One of those EPIC bars (some meat paleo bar I picked up at the store before Meal Two so that I stayed on track)

Meal Three: Stir fry of onions, garlic, green onions, pork, and heaps of broccoli slaw with coconut aminos - SO good

Snack: One of those clean paleo bars that are just made up of nuts and egg whites

I didn't really need that second snack. I just wanted to eat something. Really, I wanted to drink something like a beer or a red wine, so my choice wasn't stellar, but nor was it bad. I also did some allergy testing a bit ago, but I never got the results because I was waiting to do that C-Reactive Protein test before connecting back with my doctor.  At times, I've wondered if I'm allergic or sensitive to coconut so I'm sticking to olive oil or ghee till I get my results.

I got a lot of things done that I needed to do which was good. I didn't get the physical labor part done, nor another project, but hopefully tomorrow I'll stay focused. I did meditate today. It's the first time in a long time. I did not exercise though I thought about going to the gym. Every night I plan to go in the morning and every morning I wake up too late to make it there and back before work. The sleep is important and I do manage to get about eight hours a night so I don't really want to mess with that.  Maybe tomorrow morning.

Hey Emma! I read your recap of Day One and I just wanted to say congratulations on completing your first day! It sounds like you did exactly what you were supposed to do...you stuck to Whole30 the entire day! That's something to celebrate!

Give yourself some grace when it comes to snacking. No one is perfect, and you took the time to reflect on it after the fact. You chose a Whole30 compliant choice over beer or wine, I call that a win!

Change is always hard. But you're doing it!

I could so relate when you said that you wanted to exercise and planned to go the night before but then didn't get up in time etc. That was me for so so long. I had the best of intentions, but I didn't plan for success. Can I share what finally worked for me? I definitely agree with prioritizing sleep, so I finally realized that if I wanted to get up an hour earlier to get to the gym...I had to go to sleep an hour earlier! (Obvious, I know...but it took me a long time to put that into practice!)

I also realized that I was way more likely to follow through on my gym plans if everything was ready and laid out ahead of time. So I started filling my water bottle and sticking that as well as my pre-workout snack and prepped breakfast in the fridge the night before so it was ready to go. I laid out my workout clothes and shoes, had my outfit for work ready to go, coordinated with my husband so that he would stay with my son until I got back, and set my alarm. All of this simple prep work, combined with getting to bed earlier, made it so that I literally had no excuse NOT to go when my alarm went off in the morning.

Most of us go out of our way to keep commitments we make to our partners, kids, friends, family etc...but we don't think twice about bailing on plans we've made with/for ourselves. The biggest thing my first Whole30 taught me was that I CAN keep a promise to myself. Whether it's successfully completing a Whole30, going to the gym when I said I would, keeping the plans I made with myself to take a bath or go to yoga or spend ten minutes meditating...it's so, so important that we keep the promises we make to ourselves. Doing so helped me build so much confidence in myself and my ability to finish what I start and take myself seriously!

Anyhow....sorry for the long rant  I hope some of it was helpful for you. I want you to know I am cheering you on from afar and I know you can do this! One day, one meal, one bite at a time! Don't break this Whole30 promise to yourself. You are worth it! 

[Emma]

Thanks, Erinn! I loved waking up this morning and seeing your response. I love that this forum exists because it is the thing that helps me keep accountable. I know I "could" do this on my own, but I don't. I laughed at your comment about the obvious solution of going to bed earlier. Sometimes things are so obvious. I do try to go bed earlier, but am stuck awake till my youngest falls asleep and that has not been so early the past week. I say that, and yet, I was awake at 6:30 this morning and could have gone to the gym and been home by 7:30. I didn't go. As I read your response, I was poignantly aware that I did not make that choice this morning. I do have my clothes set aside, but I bet I could lay them out to make things even simpler. And yes, ultimately it is just a commitment to myself that I need to honor.

My commitments for today:

1. Eat Whole30

2. Meditate 12+ minutes

3. Stretch

4. Personal Project

My hoped for tasks today:

Landscaping work and an unpleasant computer task I've been putting off

My family loved the broccoli slaw/pork stir fry I made last night. I doubled the recipe and they (we) ate it all.  It would have made nice leftovers. I have food for breakfast and for dinner, but not for lunch. I could make the dinner and eat my portion for lunch and then shop and plan something else for evening for me. Definitely I need to have a plan because left to my own cravings and unhealthy milling through the kitchen cabinets...I won't succeed. I guess planning meals will go under planning for my day when I sit down with my to-do list.

 

[Emma]

Day Two Completed.

If I weren't doing this forum, I probably would have had a glass of wine. Or some popcorn with my kids. Or who knows what other things. Accountability and checking in sure do work for me.

How'd the day go? Well. I'm a little overstuffed with food, but it's all Whole30 food so I'm calling it good.

1. Eat Whole 30-

Meal One: Eggs, Onions, Kale - it was good

Meal Two: Cauliflower rice, more eggs, more onions and garlic - it was fine

Meal Three: Cauliflower rice, chicken, onions and garlic, mixed greens and Tessemae's Lemon and Garlic sauce (yum!)

Snacks: Yep, there were snacks - some almonds, but not too many and a couple of those paleo nut and date bars (I ate TWO :/ while my kids ate popcorn and we watched A Dog's Purpose)

2. Meditation: 15 minutes of a guided meditation on loving kindness

3. Exercising: I stretched. I did some yard work. It's not a lot, but it still counts.

4. Personal Project: I did the absolute bare minimum, but I do have a free fifteen minutes so as soon as I finish this post, I'll go give it a bit more

And my other projects? I did some landscaping. I avoided the task I've been avoiding.

Overall? Sneezing. Gassy. Foot is still sore. Shoulder is still stiff. But things are okay.

Tomorrow? More of the same with more intention on getting to the gym in the morning if I wake up early enough (anything before 7 and I have no excuse). I have my clothes ready to go and I don't need coffee. I don't even really need to do anything of great substance when I'm there - just getting there will help set a nice tone to the day and week, but I think I'd better come up with a plan of what I'll do when I'm there...

So...Right now I am off to work on my personal project, make sure my clothes are prepped, take my vitamins, and jot down a plan for the gym. Good night Day Two.

[Emma]

Day Three

Went to the gym this morning. It was closed. I'll do yard work today so that will count for something and I'll try to stretch.  It's crazy how fast the time in the day goes by!!!

Goals for Today:

1. Eat Whole30   2. Meditate   3. Exercise or Stretch   4. Personal Project

All of my meals so far are looking really similar - kind of cauliflower rice glop with onions, kale, broccoli, and protein. The kids ate my dinners the last two nights so I know things taste okay even if they look glop-like. My kids did not jump gleefully at the Whole30 dinners, but they accepted it without fuss. I think I need to up my game though or I'll get some protesting. My digestive system is doing great. On previous Whole30's (a loooong time ago), things were not always the best. Of course the month is still young, but I do wonder if the lack of coconut oil is the reason.

[W30CoachErinn]

On 7/3/2019 at 8:46 AM, Emma said:

Thanks, Erinn! I loved waking up this morning and seeing your response. I love that this forum exists because it is the thing that helps me keep accountable. I know I "could" do this on my own, but I don't. I laughed at your comment about the obvious solution of going to bed earlier. Sometimes things are so obvious. I do try to go bed earlier, but am stuck awake till my youngest falls asleep and that has not been so early the past week. I say that, and yet, I was awake at 6:30 this morning and could have gone to the gym and been home by 7:30. I didn't go. As I read your response, I was poignantly aware that I did not make that choice this morning. I do have my clothes set aside, but I bet I could lay them out to make things even simpler. And yes, ultimately it is just a commitment to myself that I need to honor.

My commitments for today:

1. Eat Whole30

2. Meditate 12+ minutes

3. Stretch

4. Personal Project

My hoped for tasks today:

Landscaping work and an unpleasant computer task I've been putting off

My family loved the broccoli slaw/pork stir fry I made last night. I doubled the recipe and they (we) ate it all.  It would have made nice leftovers. I have food for breakfast and for dinner, but not for lunch. I could make the dinner and eat my portion for lunch and then shop and plan something else for evening for me. Definitely I need to have a plan because left to my own cravings and unhealthy milling through the kitchen cabinets...I won't succeed. I guess planning meals will go under planning for my day when I sit down with my to-do list.

 

Absolutely! And yes, accountability is SO important in staying the course during a Whole30. I've done Whole30s solo and also with the support of a friend and group and holy cow it is so much easier and more enjoyable when you have someone or some way to "check in" each day. 

I loved reading your commitments for the day, I think planning ahead is really important and valuable (I try to do it each day morning as well just to keep me focused!)...however, you totally beat yourself up about how well you met those commitments when you wrote your update for Wednesday evening! GIRL! Give yourself some dang credit!  

I always tell my coaching clients, your ONLY job is to eat Whole30, period. Everything else is a bonus. Snacking is understandable, especially so early on in your program. Is two fruit and nut bars ideal? Probably not. But was it Whole30 compliant and a better choice than popcorn? Heck yeah! So celebrate that little victory and be proud of yourself for sticking to your Whole30 commitment for the day! The meditating and stretching and personal to-do list stuff is all great, and I know some of it (like yard work) is just necessary life stuff you have to do at some point, but try not to pick apart every single thing you do/don't get a chance to do perfectly. Whole30 is hard enough all on its own. If you're eating Whole30 food then you are killing it (in my opinion  )

As far as not having a plan for lunch and not always having leftovers, I think that is super common when you're feeding not just yourself but your whole family. I would suggest continuing to eat the same dinner you prepare for everyone else so you can all enjoy that family time together and you're not having to cook two separate meals. The fact that there are no leftovers is a great sign that it must be tasting delicious!!

What I personally do for lunches when I am Whole30ing is try to batch cook/prep a few easy things at the beginning of the week (or once on Sunday and once on Wednesday) that I can then grab for lunch each day and throw together easily if I don't have leftovers from the night before. For me this looks like always having a batch of hard boiled eggs on hand. I like to eat them with Whole30 mayo (healthy fat!) or some guacamole/avocado. I'll make a big batch of Whole30 compliant chicken salad (you could also do egg and/or tuna salad). I'll eat this on lettuce cups or put a scoop on my salad. Speaking of salad, I always have lettuce and some veggies (bell peppers, carrots, tomatoes, avocado, cucumber etc) washed/cut up/ready to eat so I can easily throw a salad together....and then just add some leftover protein, my chicken/egg/tuna salad, or sometimes I will just quickly cut up and sauté a chicken apple sausage or some other easy protein option to add on top. Compliant deli meat is another good option to have on hand.

Another idea that might work for you if you don't mind eating the same thing a few times is planning an extra meal or two for the week, and cooking it just specifically for you to eat at lunch for a few days. I often do this with soup, chili, crockpot meals, and casserole type dishes. Whatever you decide to do, I think your point about having a meal plan is SO right now. "Fail to plan, plan to fail" right?!  Can't wait to hear what you plan to do for lunches going forward. 

Yay for completing another day successfully! You're doing it!! (And woohoo checking in on the forum rather than drinking a glass of wine!)

[W30CoachErinn]

13 hours ago, Emma said:

Day Three

Went to the gym this morning. It was closed. I'll do yard work today so that will count for something and I'll try to stretch.  It's crazy how fast the time in the day goes by!!!

Goals for Today:

1. Eat Whole30   2. Meditate   3. Exercise or Stretch   4. Personal Project

All of my meals so far are looking really similar - kind of cauliflower rice glop with onions, kale, broccoli, and protein. The kids ate my dinners the last two nights so I know things taste okay even if they look glop-like. My kids did not jump gleefully at the Whole30 dinners, but they accepted it without fuss. I think I need to up my game though or I'll get some protesting. My digestive system is doing great. On previous Whole30's (a loooong time ago), things were not always the best. Of course the month is still young, but I do wonder if the lack of coconut oil is the reason.

Isn't the universe funny!? You get yourself to the gym and then it's closed! How annoying. I am sure that was frustrating but I'm glad to see you came up with a plan B for yard work and stretching. There's always tomorrow for the gym! 

How did sticking to your Whole30 commitment on a holiday go for you? 

I think eating a lot of similar meals, especially at the beginning of a Whole30, is super common. Survival! Right?! But as I am sure you know from past rounds, boredom will inevitably set in (probably for you and your kiddos)...so when you're meal planning for next week try to throw in a few simple, new recipes/flavors/veggies etc to keep yourself interested! 

So glad you're feeling well so far...so interesting about the coconut oil!

Good luck on day 4!

[doubledee]

18 hours ago, Emma said:

Day Three

Went to the gym this morning. It was closed. I'll do yard work today so that will count for something and I'll try to stretch.  It's crazy how fast the time in the day goes by!!!

Goals for Today:

1. Eat Whole30   2. Meditate   3. Exercise or Stretch   4. Personal Project

All of my meals so far are looking really similar - kind of cauliflower rice glop with onions, kale, broccoli, and protein. The kids ate my dinners the last two nights so I know things taste okay even if they look glop-like. My kids did not jump gleefully at the Whole30 dinners, but they accepted it without fuss. I think I need to up my game though or I'll get some protesting. My digestive system is doing great. On previous Whole30's (a loooong time ago), things were not always the best. Of course the month is still young, but I do wonder if the lack of coconut oil is the reason.

Sounds like you're doing great so far--congrats!

Something that resonated with me as a challenge is feeling like all your meals are looking similar. I found I definitely fell into ruts too, which could be fine for a while if it tasted good but I'd eventually get sick of it. One thing that I realized in my second Whole30 was that I didn't have to eat just the "special" foods that feature prominently in Whole30 recipes (cauliflower rice, zucchini noodles, homemade mayo, etc)--there are tons of "regular" foods that meet the guidelines. Especially in summer, grilled meats (with simple marinades of olive oil, lemon, spices, etc) and fish and vegetables are a great option. I also enjoyed yummy dairy-free sauces with nuts or tahini (I recently made an awesome variant on Romesco with roasted red peppers and walnuts) and various soups (thickened with a bit of potato rather than cream). As soon as we get into prime tomato season I'm excited to make gazpacho. Maybe put shrimp on top for protein. Yum!

Don't get me wrong--I love making homemade mayo and cauliflower rice, but it was a bit of a revelation for me to realize that in addition to the things I've learned to make from Whole30 recipes a ton of the foods I would normally eat are Whole30 compliant or can easily be adapted to be so. 

[Emma]

Day Four!

Day Three went well. After hours of digging up grass and shoveling and planting, I was SO ready for a margarita. Or a beer. Or a popsicle. Instead I had ice cubes in my water. They weren't quite the same, but I was hot and thirsty more than anything. Earlier in the day, we ran some errands and the family all got ice cream. Oh, I would have loved some, but ice cream generally gives me an upset stomach so I didn't really want any. There were other times I thought about cheating. Oh yeah, my husband suggested going out to Korean food. I googled to see what the chances were of finding things I can eat. They were slim so I suggested burgers on the grill and using our romaine hearts that are almost about to go bad. It's too hot to cook in the kitchen. Almost too hot to even prep food in the kitchen, but my husband chopped up some kale and added them to the burgers and got the grill going. Our dinner wasn't fancy, but it happened. The kids are requesting meals from past Whole30's that they really liked. Once this heat wave passes, we'll make those (They both require the oven for cooking spaghetti squash)

Doubledee and Erinn, You're both right about the other foods. I used to make an awesome chimichurri sauce that would be really nice with meats and veggies cooked on the grill.  I should consider doing that for today. I love the smell of cutting up parsley and cilantro. The cauliflower is really because it added more bulk to my egg and onion breakfast. I purchased a huge bag of organic riced cauliflower from Costco that has been sitting in the freezer for months and now I feel this need to use it up and start anew. I have to say it has been pretty good, but what I really love is a whole cauliflower cut up and roasted in the oven. Oh my gosh do I love that and I'll eat the whole thing which is pretty expensive. My family doesn't love it. They do love bbq'ed pineapple and peppers and I could also kabob mushrooms and onions. Planning does make a difference come the end of the day!!!!

Ha - planning and getting stuff from the store makes a difference all the time when it comes to this. I did pick up some random things yesterday so I'll have to incorporate them into the not-yet-existent plan for today. I also managed to meditate and work on my project late in the day - very late in the day. It might not have been quality, but it all counted so I ended the day on a good note.

Must Do Goals for Today: 1. Eat Whole30   2. Meditate   3. Personal Project   4.  Twenty minutes of exercise (gym or walk)

Hopeful To Do Goals: Laundry, meet with the plumber, meal plan, more yard work (there is SO much), pick up grass seed and a sprinkler. 

So far, it's almost nine and I'm sitting around like it's a holiday weekend.  Haha.  I need to enjoy this and not guilt trip myself with the to-do list, though I do need to pick up some before the plumber arrives.  Or not.

 

[Emma]

Day Four Completed.

I'm again feeling a little stuffed, but it's all good stuff so I'm not going to fret.

How'd I do today?

Eat Whole 30 - Did it with the help of a couple Lara Bars. Breakfast was chicken, onions, kale. Lunch...kale and eggs. Dinner was halibut, kale, and sweet potatoes cooked on the grill.  The kids are eating dinner without a fuss. They did have caesar dressing on their kale (picked fresh) instead of the oil and vinegar that the adults had.

Meditate - Did it and it went well. 

Personal Project - Did it. Went okay, but mainly it's just important I work on it everyday.

Exercise - Bleh. I didn't go to the gym. I didn't go for a walk. I still could. I will - ten minutes out and ten minutes back. I can make it happen. 

The hopeful goals: I guess I did a lot of those, not quite with the vigor I imagined, but still go some things done today AND prepped dinner ahead of schedule.

I was thinking, Erinn, about your comment that I was hard on myself reviewing my day and that focussing on one thing is plenty. And yeah, I agree. I always struggle with this. I suppose the ONE thing that would make my personal life better is if I had a healthy fit body which means losing weight and getting those inflammation markers down.  THAT would impact everything.  But what happens is that I sometimes wonder if meditation could be that ONE thing that allows other things to happen - kinda like the kindling that allows the flame to catch fire.  I meditated for several months in the past and it was good in a weird intangible way, but good in a way that I suspect is more powerful than I realize.  So that's two things to do every day, but they complement each other. And then there's my project of drawing and I see myself improving and I attribute that to drawing every day, even if just for a bit. And exercise - sigh - that's the hardest one of all! And I have a gym membership that I pay for and I'm not even going. Sigh - I do better when I can go with another person because then I show up. And I do better once I start going  so hopefully I start going because that will help me to keep going.  But yeah, there's a lot, but really it's not that much  when I look at my bare minimums (12 minutes meditate, 20 minutes exercise, 20 minutes draw). Why do I take all day to achieve that! Step at a time. 

 

[Emma]

Day Five!!! It's always so neat how fast it goes once it starts. That starting is almost the hardest part. I went for a walk last night and went to bed at ten. I slept till 11:30 and then moved to a cooler room and was certainly asleep again by midnight. I woke up a little after seven with a good dream. I'm sleeping deeper. I'm usually a decent sleeper and I usually sleep 7.5 hours unless I'm fighting a cold and then I sleep longer.  I'm not fighting a cold, but I did sleep longer. My body is so much happier when I Whole 30 and I can see it already in how I slept. I'm not kicking myself for not going to the gym today. Maybe I will, but for now the sleep is a good thing.  And the bathroom thing. Wowzers. Things are working so well. Things have actually been working relatively well (better than my normal) since I tried a vegan cleanse back in March. The vegan cleanse was not for me. I had headaches and was bloated and it never cleared away, but something changed in my intestinal flora. I drank bentonite clay every morning and I wonder if that was it - or maybe it was just foods, but since....it's been better and now that I've stopped eating fast food and restaurant food and anything in the fridge...crazy good.

Goals for today: Whole 30, Meditate, Practice 

I'm gonna try to get that meditation and practice done this morning after my cup of coffee. 

[Emma]

Day Five and I Semi-Rocked it without meaning too. Uh-oh, I just realize I never had dinner. Crap. I guess I haven't done it so well yet.  But....here's the day:

Goals:

Eat Whole 30 - Breakfast/Lunch (Kale, Eggs, Onions, Kimchi), Snack - Lara Bars, clean beef jerky, hard boiled egg, 

Um....reviewing the day, it looks like I ate a very late breakfast, no lunch, an okay snack aside from no vegetables, and no dinner. My goodness. How did I biff that so badly!!  I ran errands all afternoon and had the snack when I got home. My family went out to dinner and I ditched out and went to The GYM!!! At the gym, I biked for an hour and got super sweaty and then I went in the dry sauna for my first time. It was all good, but now I'm home and it's 8:30 at night and I'm not really hungry. What do I do? I'll scavenge and see if there are some leftovers. I think there's some kale salad and maybe some prosciutto and asparagus.

Meditate - Did it this morning!!!

Practice - Did it this morning!!!

I know that my energy is always best in the morning. It's so nice when I get things done right away or when I have enough time in the day to get them done before noon. I did not work in the yard today. Did not work on work. Did not play with the kids. Did not read. Did not.....  Look how my brain works and yet, today, I got my goals accomplished PLUS a good workout at the gym. My soul is yearning for the tiger blood that I do not have.  yet.

I also know that the "Kill all Things" days are possibly just around the corner. I hope not.

[Emma]

Day Six!

Sleep was not so great last night, but it wasn't the worst. I had stressed dreams and then the CAT woke me up at five and bit my arm to make sure I was awake and getting up to feed him. It took a while to go back to sleep, but I did and I'm sure I slept another full sleep cycle, but what I remember of it is long slow stressed dreams. I was traveling with a friend. I wasn't stressed, but there were constantly things to navigate like steep slopes to cross in the city or stairs that dangled down in the wind or stairs that faced downwards.  I had to hold on to things or slide down on my rear. I left my backpack in a subway station and had to go get it. People had to jump onto the subway.  Lots of that kinds of stuff. None bad, but all showing me my brain is processing some stress.

Goals for today:

Meditate (Did it already!!!! I almost didn't, but then I thought how nice it would be to type and say, "Done!")

Eat Whole 30 (Do a better job of eating three meals spread out appropriately)

Practice 

Unofficial goals are preparing the list for tomorrow of what to do.  There are bills and packages to prep to mail and mowing the lawn and weedwacking and laundry and....you know....all the regular stuff, as well as some work planning. Some of it I might do today. Some I might not. I'd love to have all the stuff done so I could sit and write and draw and do other things, but really, my energy isn't there. I have big ideas and little follow through. There's some phrase about the manager on the chair and that's me. I can sit on a chair all day thinking about great lists and things I want to do, but the reality is that I don't have the oomph to get them done. I hope this changes.

[Emma]

Day Six - This was a rough one. I went to Costco in the afternoon. I was okay passing by the samples, but not so okay when I saw the Melton's cauliflower crust pizza in the freezer section. Why can't I just have it? A bit of cheese isn't too bad. I also picked up fudgesicles for my kids. Again, why can't I have just one? And there there were more food options and I felt a little woe is me and like a person on a restriction diet so I picked up one of their chickens, some nuts, paid, and then ate chicken and nuts in the car. It was not the best, but it sure did help get rid of the temptations. And then I got home and again wanted a beer, but had some iced soda water. And then I thought about camping in a few weeks with friends and how I love having a good juicy burger and beer when hanging with friends. Woe. Woe. Woe. My friend, thankfully, understands the Whole30 gig and I could probably eat burgers with lettuce and be just fine without the cheese, bun, ketchup, mustard, and accompanying fries. Sighing.

So, as I was grappling with these temptations, I had thoughts like, "Nobody will know" and, "I'll just have a little" and "Who cares if I do - really, I just won't write about it in the forum."  Sighing.  And then I'd ask myself, "Why am I doing this Whole30?".  bleh.  I don't like answering the answer. In the moment, it's so hard, but the big picture, it is so obvious. I feel better when I eat better. I will feel lots better if I am a healthy weight and able to exercise more easily. My joints will be happier. I will be happier. And, I don't seem to be able to eat "just a little".  Well, I can. I can calorie count and I did once lose a sizable chunk of weight by doing so, but I didn't actually get healthier till I started Whole30 stuff.

I'm not enjoying this. And yet at the same time, I'm not not enjoying this.

Whole30 - Breakfast (Eggs, Mushrooms, Kimchi), Lunch (Chicken, nuts), Lara Bar, Dinner (Chicken, asparagus)

Reflecting on what I just recorded - I didn't really embrace the great meal mentality. I kinda ate to get by. At least there is lots in the fridge now so I should be able to do a better job tomorrow. I have chicken, beef, broccoli, cauliflower, loads of mushrooms, spaghetti squash......Perhaps I'll cook the squash and the broccoli in the morning when the house is still cool and then we can eat them in the evenings by reheating them on the grill or in the microwave.

Meditation (did it!!!!)

Practiced (practiced a token amount)

It's 8pm and beautiful out.  I'm going to go join the family in the yard.

[coachmandiep]

On 7/2/2019 at 12:35 PM, Emma said:

I know I need to make changes and I know those changes won't happen till I actually DO something differently. The entire day is ahead of me and so far, I'm on track.  I had some labwork done this morning to check for C Reactive Protein. Mine is high. I was supposed to get it tested 6 months ago, but then I started eating poorly again and didn't want to receive bad results again so I postponed it till I started eating better.  Which, aside from 3 weeks testing out a vegan cleanse, never happened.  But, sighing, test results and data are good things so I got the test this morning and sometime in the next week I will have my results and even if I'm hanging my head in shame, I'll have numbers to work on.

I know eating clean works for me and I know when I follow a Whole 30-esque meal plan, I feel better and am healthier. I know this and yet I don't do it. I want to do it and yet I don't do it. Yesterday I started to do it with a great breakfast of eggs, broccoli, and kale.....and then the rest of the day happened and I sought out trail mix (which I suppose isn't the worst of things, but it certainly wasn't doing me any favors).

My ailments:

Arthritis that is a b---- when I hike, walk, or try to jog in my feet.  Osteoarthritis in my knees that is also annoying.  Tightness in my shoulders. Allergies. Sixty pounds overweight. Low energy. Low get-things-done energy. I have such great plans and carrying them out just doesn't happen. 

My vision of myself:

Strong, healthy, vibrant, active.

So today is Day One and I could sure use some support, encouragement, and friendship along this way to help keep me focused and accountable. 

Hi Emma!

I hear you!  I struggled with an all-or-nothing mindset for years and I know how difficult it can be to overcome. In the past, I often found myself to either be on point with healthy food choices and exercise (being good) or not doing either at all (being bad). What I realized is that it was a mindset problem. It didn't matter how hard I "tried"; unless I learned to think outside of the diet mentality box, my behaviors would not change for the long term.

This is where the Whole30 changed my life. It helped me to stop judging every single action (or lack of it) when it came to eating and working out. It helped me to see that I was no longer a helpless victim whose destiny it was to live in this vicious cycle, but someone who is ultimately in control of my own choices and life.  Does this mean that I NEVER have to worry about falling prey to this kind of thinking again? That depends on my mindset...If I start to fall back into the diet mentality (and the judgements that come with that mindset), then I will most likely do what I have often done in that situation and end up sitting on my duff eating a pint of ice cream. If I think of food as the fuel that is going to help me feel my best, I can move forward, one day at a time, learning to live my best life.  You can as well!

It sounds like you have some very good reasons for eating well and I love your vision of yourself!  I encourage you to write down your "why" for sticking with your meal plan and post it wherever you will be reminded.  I am also wondering if you meal prep.  I find that I am more likely to stick with my plan for the day if I have taken the time to prepare, making it easier to get a healthy meal on the table.  Finally, make sure you have "emergency" food with you at all times for those days when things get away from you.  I like to carry EPIC bars or Chomps sticks, macadamia nuts, and cut up veggies in my purse just in case.

You can do this Emma!   You deserve to be healthy and live your best life.  You are a capable woman who knows what she wants, and we are here for you!  

 

 

 

[Emma]

11 hours ago, coachmandiep said:

"It helped me to see that I was no longer a helpless victim whose destiny it was to live in this vicious cycle, but someone who is ultimately in control of my own choices and life.  

 If I think of food as the fuel that is going to help me feel my best, I can move forward, one day at a time, learning to live my best life.  You can as well!"

Thank you for your response! It's all so true and right on point. When I'm feeling good and in control and at ease with myself and life, then I clearly have no desire to put certain things in my body. I do have a sense of wanting to care for my body and what makes it work. I am also continuously impressed with how well my body does and how well it responds to nutritious foods and exercise given the bad attitude that it could harbor given how crappily I've cared for it. Isn't that funny how feeding "me" isn't always helping to feed my "body". I'm having fun playing around right now with the idea of our selves and our bodies being separate. They're so interconnected, but maybe asking myself what "I" need/want when I'm craving something and what my "body" wants/needs would help. Heh. No idea. I'll try it out today.

As for my reasons posted....I need to do that. Last night, in bed, I realized that even the data says I need to lose weight and that my body is unhappy and unhealthy. I have high inflammation. So, my body isn't in good shape, my being isn't happy. I don't feel good. What I am good at is thinking that this is my normal and adapting to what it clearly not healthy. 

And meal planning....I know it helps and no...I haven't meal planned yet other than the first day.  I have picked up enough food to allow me some wiggle room, but no plan and plans help. I was thinking this morning when I got up that after coffee and reflecting, I would cook the spaghetti squash and cauliflower and prepare a few meals for this week.  I do things better in the morning and the house is cool enough to use the oven. The meals won't be nice and fresh, but at least there will be meals. I'm not going to be home in the early evenings much this week so having dinners already in the fridge would be a good thing.

Goals for today:

Meditate (did it!!!!)

Eat Whole 30 (more intentionally and well rounded than the past two days)

Practice

 

 

 

 

[coachmandiep]

 

5 hours ago, Emma said:

"maybe asking myself what "I" need/want when I'm craving something and what my "body" wants/needs would help."

I love this!  It is true that we eat for so many reasons other than nourishment.  I think taking the time to reason that out would be very helpful to you.

It sounds like the meal planning and prepping will be a great help to you this week.  I also like to do my prepping in the morning.  It is so nice to have something available when things get crazy.  Let us know how it goes!

 

[Jihanna]

18 hours ago, Emma said:

...I picked up one of their chickens...

Don't freak out if you didn't check the label, but this is just a reminder to always check the label... even when it feels like you're starving and that specific food looks like the only viable option. Early in my first Whole30, I goofed and ate some rotisserie chicken without checking the label, realizing the next day (when taking the remaining chicken out to make broth) that it wasn't compliant. So, I asked for the "naked" one next, assuming it wouldn't have anything on it... wrong, it had rice starch. I started checking the labels at the stores where I shop, but didn't find any that were compliant so I stopped bothering with rotisserie chicken when I'm doing a round.

That said, I don't typically shop at Costco and never checked ingredients there. However, a quick online search did bring up a label for one of their chickens which includes carrageenan, sugar, and dextrose (another sugar)... so it's worth making sure of the ingredients before using a pre-cooked chicken in your meal plan, at least during Whole30  

[Emma]

7 hours ago, Jihanna said:

Don't freak out if you didn't check the label, but this is just a reminder to always check the label... even when it feels like you're starving and that specific food looks like the only viable option. Early in my first Whole30, I goofed and ate some rotisserie chicken without checking the label, realizing the next day (when taking the remaining chicken out to make broth) that it wasn't compliant. So, I asked for the "naked" one next, assuming it wouldn't have anything on it... wrong, it had rice starch. I started checking the labels at the stores where I shop, but didn't find any that were compliant so I stopped bothering with rotisserie chicken when I'm doing a round.

That said, I don't typically shop at Costco and never checked ingredients there. However, a quick online search did bring up a label for one of their chickens which includes carrageenan, sugar, and dextrose (another sugar)... so it's worth making sure of the ingredients before using a pre-cooked chicken in your meal plan, at least during Whole30  

Ugh! I knew the skin wouldn't be compliant so I stuck to the inner meat, but maybe there's no real separating. Blech blech blech! I took all the meat off (that I didn't eat) and put it in the fridge to use for a meal. Ugh - I'll give it to my husband. Thank goodness he doesn't care!  Costco has been pretty good where we are for organic produce and grass fed meats so we go there for those things (and the things we invariably also purchase). 

[Emma]

Day Seven. 

My energy this morning was pretty good. I spent the morning prepping food and then ate the entire head of cauliflower that I roasted. It was SO good. I made a bunch of chicken marsala and spiraled out some zoodles and cooked some squash. It doesn't sound like much and in reality, there's not much in the fridge, but it took a while and I enjoyed the process. My daughter made her own lunch today and it looked so beautiful with sliced peppers, seaweed, kiwi, a hard boiled egg, and a couple crackers. It's not a Whole30 meal, but it was a good looking plate of colorful food. This evening the children were forced to eat the chicken marsala WITH mushrooms over a bed of zoodles. My daughter's face was pretty pained. My other kid rose to the occasion without complaint - probably because his sister was so dramatically distressed. They both ate the food without choking or gagging so I think it was a win and not nearly as bad as they claimed. My husband and I thought it was really good. I did have a headache after dinner though which makes me wonder what things I ate did not sit with me. Mushrooms perhaps?

I got my lab results back. My inflammation markers are DOWN! "Keep doing what you're doing" said my doctor. Well, heck, I don't quite know what I've been doing but right now I'm doing Whole30 and that's encouraging. I also got my blood test allergy results. They're so interesting. They're also not set in stone and the tests yield a lot of false positives and, in my case, didn't even identify a whole host of fruits and things that I know without a doubt I react to EVERY single time I eat them.  It was interesting though to think about what was identified. Mushrooms were one of them. So were almonds. I eat a lot of almonds. So maybe the test is inaccurate or maybe almonds are aggravating my system in a way I don't notice. It also said  peanuts and soybeans. I've never had an issue with peanuts, but I'm not surprised about soybeans.  Coconut was okay, but then so were a few things that cause my throat to swell so I'm taking the results with a grain of salt.  AND, I'm again glad I'm doing the Whole30 because it will help me wade through the things more systematically.

Breakfast: Cauliflower and egg

Lunch: Chicken and spaghetti squash

Dinner: Zoodles and Chicken Marsala

Meditated and practiced. Didn't pay bills. Didn't clean. Did mow the lawn and weed wacked and set up appointments and went to the gym!! Never separated myself from my body before I ate. :/  I remembered after I ate. Did feel bummed about how going to the movies is no longer something to look forward to because I partly like it for the food. Tried to talk myself through all my reasons for doing this. Felt more fit and slender. Saw myself in the mirror - haha. I'm not, but inside I'm feeling better.

[Emma]

Day Eight. Meditated this morning before having coffee and opening the computer. The reward for meditating seems to be getting to share that I did it which works for me.  I don't love doing it, but I think it subtly does good things so I guess I like doing it.  Ha - or I like having it done. Again, lots of weird dreams last night. Stress dreams. I can't remember them, but they were all around things closing or needing to leave quickly or missing things...stress. My dreams used to get more chaotic feeling during my periods. That's not happening, but I wonder if it's a hormonal relationship or just stress at all the things hanging over my head. Could be both. I was tickled with how good my energy was yesterday. Right now I'm not feeling that same energy, but it is pre-coffee after a not-so-hot night of sleep. The dog. The kids. The husband. My bladder. It was one thing after another waking me up. However, the sleep I did get was also not bad.

Goals for the day: Meditate (done), Eat Whole30, Practice

And perhaps....clean up in preparation for guests, appointment, maybe some work projects sitting at the table by the printer - I think doing that will help with the underlying stress.

[Mariina]

Hey, Emma!  I didn't get a chance to read all of the posts because there are a lot by now, but I read a few random ones and I appreciate your honestly with not only us but yourself- pointing out that you "could just not write it on the forum" is so true but it would only be damaging to our own selves.  My goal is to be as honest as I can throughout this process and not feel ashamed of things that many of us are dealing with, so thank you for being so open.  By the way, mustard is compliant!  Unless there's other additives obviously, but the brands I already had didn't have additives so that should be easy for you to find.  In one of the books, either Whole30 or the Day by Day Guide (reading both consecutively so not sure which one), Melissa says to think "am I hungry enough to eat fish and veggies right now or is this just a craving?" (except I switch the word fish with meat, ha).  This stuck in my head and my goal is to pay more attention to this, because I have been letting myself eat bars or other sweet foods like fruit with almond butter when it's not an "emergency".. but I know I am just fueling the sugar dragon!  I just wanted those extra snacks in the moment...  Like Erinn said, it's not ideal to eat those bars, we're just technically not cheating... which I feel like is kind of a cheat haha. We can work on this together!  I do have a small question for you.  I am new to actually posting on the forum, but I am on Day 14.  I wrote one post so far and I am curious as to if you're just replying to your original post every day when you're giving updates or are you starting new posts?

[Emma]

6 hours ago, Mariina said:

 Melissa says to think "am I hungry enough to eat fish and veggies right now or is this just a craving?" (except I switch the word fish with meat, ha).  This stuck in my head and my goal is to pay more attention to this, because I have been letting myself eat bars or other sweet foods like fruit with almond butter when it's not an "emergency".. but I know I am just fueling the sugar dragon!  I just wanted those extra snacks in the moment...  Like Erinn said, it's not ideal to eat those bars, we're just technically not cheating... which I feel like is kind of a cheat haha. We can work on this together!  I do have a small question for you.  I am new to actually posting on the forum, but I am on Day 14.  I wrote one post so far and I am curious as to if you're just replying to your original post every day when you're giving updates or are you starting new posts?

Hey - Hi! I think about that Melissa quote too which I think I picture as boiled fish and broccoli. Boiled. So gross. And I also am cheating and eating those technically acceptable bars when I'm not actually hungry or at risk of giving in to some craving.  So yeah, it's kind of a cheat. We can definitely work on this together!  I started just one post and then I just reply to it each day - generally twice a day because that keeps me focused. I tell ya, I need to put a lot of focus on this process to stay with this process and this forum seems to give me that. A private journal would too, but it's so much more fun to interact with others!!!

[Emma]

Day Eight. Feeling Great. And bloated. I seem to feel very bloated almost every evening. Ha. Not sure if that is correct, but a number of nights I felt super bloated at bedtime. Thankfully by morning things seemed to have sorted themselves out. I've been attributing it to the changes in food and the bigger servings of broccoli, cauliflower, zucchini (I just had a really tricky time spelling that word - I don't know if I've ever written down zucchini and needed to spell it - two c's before the h!). This evening I had a big spinach salad. It was totally tasty, but now I am super bloated. Eh. My intestinal flora is grappling with some serious changes.

Goal Reflection:

Meditation - did it so early I couldn't not do it

Practice - not my best. in fact, almost not, but i did "slightly" and that counts

Whole 30 - Breakfast (Eggs, Onions, Garlic, Zoodles, Kimchi), Lunch (Epic bar, Nuts), Dinner (Spinach and chicken with Oil and Vinegar, Whole30 Salami, Cucumbers with mint). 

My breakfast and dinner were great. My lunch - not so much. Actually, my breakfast didn't happen till almost one and my dinner was at seven. I mainly had the "lunch" to keep me on track as I was out and about. So, why was my breakfast so late? I was awake at seven. Well, I've never been an early eater. I generally have my first meal about two hours after I wake up and this morning I was running late to an appointment and that appointment lasted till noon and then I came home and started cooking my onions and the plumber came by so I had to put that on hold till one.  The funny thing is is that I wasn't even hungry. Mornings are nice that way for me, but I think we're supposed to eat the three meals a day with the first one being right at the get go so I'll have to be more intentional about that.

And guess what - once again this big shift in eating has impacted my hormones and my cycle. I guess my dreams aren't totally related to stress. It does make me appreciate just how powerful foods can be.

Oh - and tonight the kids had spaghetti squash with Costco pesto (which is totally tasty, but not compliant). No fussing from them. It's so nice to have them just going along with things. I had intended to make fresh pesto, but just wasn't home today to make that happen which is why I had the other stuff.