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Whole 21

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Day 1

I’m coming back here to keep myself on track. I can’t do a W30 bc I’m going away w friends where we are all sharing meals but if I can get started I’ll maintain  

Want to feel healthier, eliminate a bunch of the sugar and fake food that’s taken over my diet. Also of course I have gained weight and I hate it. I feel so much better when I am fit. Not just how I look but how I feel in my body. I am a stranger in my body and I need to feel connected. 

So. Day 1. Just weighed myself for first time in years. Have been doing a lot of Pilates and feel strong but I don’t think I’m *that strong. :(

I felt so damn good in my strict AIP days. Was a super pain in the ass to eat anywhere but home but I felt so awesome. Food was  sustenance not pleasure. Tasted good too but I liked feeling like an ascetic. 

Found an an old pic from those day where I was taking a bathroom selfie and my little daughter was looking up at me. I want to be a good role model in terms of health not fretting about my weight. But feeding myself good food and feeling good not wringing hands over what I’m eating would be good. Also my kids eat too much sugar.  

Gonna do it. 

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Day 2

Yesterday was a bit wobbly but I made it. Don’t think I ate dinner but I had a couple small lamb burgers mid day, raw peppers. Some nuts on the beach, salami and a lot of coffee. Def not my best but I jumped into this on a whim totally unprepared, which has been my best way of doing it. When I plan I keep pushing it off “I’ll start Tuesday, no I’ll start next Tuesday.” 

I was looking at old pics of myself through my previous Whole 30s, the first of which I did five years ago. The good news about now is I’ve been doing a lot of Pilates and I’m strong underneath the extra layer. 

 

Anyway. Today I’ll do some shopping, cook up my ground pork and cabbage (staple) make some Sunshine Sauce (staple) and buy a bunch of salad stuff. I am super into smoked trout on a simple salad these days. It’ll be my go to. It’s gonna be crazy hot and usually that’s hard for me bc my kitchen is hot and I hate cooking. But I’ll just eat a lot of salad. 

I feel motivated. My boobs are going to shrink but it’s ok I want to feel good and not hide in pictures. 

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Day 2 food plan

m1: sardines and sauerkraut 

m2: pork and sautéed cabbage 

m3: burger? Not sure 

snacks: nuts fruit iced green tea (homemade)

 

Need to shop and notes to self: salad, peppers, cukes, tomatoes, beans, melon, grapes, bok choi [that sautéed bok choi was so good this weekend], more lamb etc etc oh lime for sunshine sauce

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[from] Day 3

I need to go shopping but I'm not letting it stop me. These really aren't meals yet but I'm holding it together 

M1: tuna and melon
M2: ground pork and cabbage
M3: "
S: nuts and raisins on beach 

Iced coffee iced green tea hot green tea not much water 

Really wanted a drink on the beach didn't have it and you know what it made getting home and getting kids to bed so much easier. Also I was alive to the beautiful storm. 

Day 4 today

m1: rest of pork/cabbage 

Went thru all my b/a pics from previous Wholes and damn I was so fit and small  it’s like the thing of when you were 20 you focused on the one thing wrong w your body and now you’d eat through a car to look like that and in 20 years I’ll feel the same  about now, but now I feel like that about five years ago. :D

Also sad how down on myself I would get  oh my belly isn’t perfectly flat oy. But yeah no wonder I can’t wear my clothes from then. Anyway the good news is I was able to get myself in good shape in a couple months. We will see how much my metabolism has changed. 

One thing that’s great about reading my old logs is reminding myself how much better it was for me when I planned and started the day with a “template meal,” ie not my habitual waiting till 2pm to jam chocolate in my mouth.  

 

 

 

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Day 5

Day 4 was ok. Temptation at every turn but really the ease of the whole 30 is you just can’t eat anything off list. It’s a lot easier than life. I was sorely craving some Diet Coke after cleaning the house, as has become my gross habit, I don’t otherwise drink it except on long road trips. Also I craved chocolate truffles at the butcher, and chocolate every time I opened the fridge. (Also my habit: eating chocolate when I’m hungry instead of food.) 

Today I went to Pilates in the heat and ran errands. I hate running errands but we are driving to NH tomorrow and staying with mother in law for three days. Love her but her idea of eating healthy is Special K and I’ve had a history of falling off the wagon at her house.

I really wanted to get some good food.  Fantasizing about eating salmon and cabbage for days I spent $30 on a big filet at a fish market. Got bok choi and cabbage and salad ingredients. Came home braised the bok choi  was delicious ate it with the quickly-cooked small flat end of the salmon filet, left the rest of the salmon on the stove left the house for four hours. Fortunately it was on low unfortunately it was only a tiny bit edible when I returned. House not burned down tho  

Packing my son up for three weeks of camp and just ironed on eight million labels. Jammed some smoked trout in my mouth. Gotta get to bed it’s crazy late but another day down. Party. 

Now on to template meals. Saw a pic of myself tonight and maybe these pants are just unflattering but well I’m not gonna beat myself up. I am not skinny but my arms look nice. I feel better too. 

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Hmm I am really focusing on my weight/appearance I’m supposed to be talking about my health and that too. I always think I’ll miss drinking the most but actually I feel a lot better without booze esp in this swamp heat. 

Tomorrow am I’ll make vinaigrette for salad and cook pork and cabbage. I got three cans of the good canned mackerel always good in a pinch. 

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Day 8 I think.

A bit rocky while away this weekend. Was a mother-in-law's and Friday my parents were here. Mom brought sandwiches, my favorite donut, other bakery treats I usually dive into. But yet I resisted. Oh, that was back on Day 5 anyway. 

Sat was hot as hell and we drove to NH. I made myself some lamb burgers for breakfast that I ate with a salad. I made some for the kids, too. We all love lamb burgers. I got some larabar type things from Patagonia (last min camp shopping) for sustenance in a pinch and otherwise I didn't eat anything on the road. I always love a Diet Coke on the road so this was a bit of a "oh I wish I could" or "well I could just start over tomorrow' situation but nothing major. When I got to my mother-in-law's (typically a place where my eating falls apart, though has also been a place where I've been super on it) I really really wanted to dive into the bakery stuff my mom sent with us for the house. Or eat any of the crap food in her cupboards or the beer I don't usually drink at home but have when I arrive after the long drive. I did not. Starting to feel a little more streamlined. 

Sun was Day 7. I had a very small amount of sleep but still I woke up with my mind feeling more clear, more ME. Felt good. I made myself some pork and cabbage and ate it. We stopped at my favorite drive-in amazing hot dog burger onion ring old-fashioned dream place to eat. I ate a lobster roll without the bun and nothing else. I'm sure the mayo was made w something awful but I decided not to freak out about it (I dont even think the w30 is as strict these days as it used to be about seed oils while eating out). 

Dropped son at camp. Was HEINOUSLY HOT especially for coastal Maine.  Was great. Back to m-in-law's where I finished rest of the cabbage and pork. WAs famished really. I ate another larabar and some other thing that was compliant if not ideal. 

Day 8 nothing remarkable. Lamb burgers and salad, larabars. I was hungry when I went to bed but I was exhausted after driving in a Level 10 deluge for six hours. 

Day 9 Had pilates, ate some smoked trout before (remembered I should be eating just protein before working out, no idea if this is still regarded as the protocol). Food shopped on way home, really really wanted a nice chocolate bar from the market when I shopped. Came home, housed a bunch of cherries and and cooked the salmon and bok choi. I like this combo a lot. Plus the bok cooks up quickly. 

pre WO smoked trout

m1 salmon, bok choi

snack: PB larabar 

m2 same 

I know, the larabars aren't ideal but eh I'm working my way up to this. I love feeling like my brain is working. I'm clear headed. 

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