C.B. Posted July 31, 2019 Author Share Posted July 31, 2019 10 hours ago, Emma said: But I do like that with Whole30 and the Food Freedom process, it becomes a process and not a complete one or another. 100% - I think that's the mindset shift that makes all of the difference! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C.B. Posted August 1, 2019 Author Share Posted August 1, 2019 Day 11 I felt much more in control of my choices and thoughts around food today, although everything felt generally lacklustre. I did have a yummy dinner, though, of ground beef, green beans with onions and carrot greens, all sauteed together and topped with nutritional yeast and kimchi. I have some leftovers that I am looking forward to for lunch tomorrow! I think I need to get clearer on why I am doing the Whole30 and how this specific program is helping me work towards my goals...and what "food freedom" specifically means for me. At the moment, I feel like I am going through the motions of the program but not truly understanding how it is benefitting me. I will keep eating Whole30 while I work through that and see what I come up with at the other side! I want to, if anything, see through this commitment I made to myself to complete the Whole30 & Reintroduction but my setback of having started over again is weighing on my motivation. My burst of motivation from the other day is still here but levelling out. I think I will hit the books and get quiet over the next few days to distill all of this down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emma Posted August 1, 2019 Share Posted August 1, 2019 8 minutes ago, C.B. said: I think I need to get clearer on why I am doing the Whole30 and how this specific program is helping me work towards my goals...and what "food freedom" specifically means for me. At the moment, I feel like I am going through the motions of the program but not truly understanding how it is benefitting me. I will keep eating Whole30 while I work through that and see what I come up with at the other side! I want to, if anything, see through this commitment I made to myself to complete the Whole30 & Reintroduction but my setback of having started over again is weighing on my motivation. My burst of motivation from the other day is still here but levelling out. I think I will hit the books and get quiet over the next few days to distill all of this down. Reviewing why we are each here is really important. I frequently forget my reasons because I get caught up in all the other little hopes I have from this or the disappointment when things aren't happening. I also found that having to start over again was really morale-zapping. I tell myself that it kinda gives me a foot up on this one and also that I have that many more days of healthy eating under my belt, but still....I kinda just want to get to the end even though I don't really want it to end. I hope your reflecting and reading and pondering gives you some good personal insights! (And maybe some we might reflect on as well!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C.B. Posted August 2, 2019 Author Share Posted August 2, 2019 Day 12 I totally feel what you said, Emma, about being conflicted in wanting to get to the end but also not quite being ready for it. I was struggling yesterday to think of measurable, specific goals in the realm of achieving food freedom. I was looking to the end result, rather than to the process, which is where all of the insights and moments of growth lie (I had my 2nd session with my therapist today and she helped me drill down to this). So in that vein, I will look to set some specific goals about the process of achieving food freedom, because although the whole30 will come to an end, food freedom is simply a part of life! There are no ons or offs, it's just time passing, so it's about cultivating habits and mindset around food, and gradually building up overtime. I also got to thinking today about how I am now doing the Whole30 for a third time and expecting different results - again approaching it from a results-driven mindset rather than a process. I haven't been paying attention to any NSVs, or to a particular thing I am wanting to achieve, so of course I'm feeling bored and apathetic towards the process - if I'm not watching/looking for any successes or changes I will NEVER find them! I'm even learning some of this as I'm writing it out here...thank you to the Whole30 forum I'm not too sure what those goals are yet, but I will share as soon as I have one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy_Michigan Posted August 6, 2019 Share Posted August 6, 2019 We are in this together! I will have to read the book called Food Freedom. Everyone mentions it but I don't know exactly what they learn from the book... I will look into it! It's okay that you arnt constantly looking for NSVs. I am sure you will find them after the 30 days when you have time to reflect back, or even maybe a picture of yourself before the Whole30 and then after. I didn't take a picture right before or anything, but I have a couple that were taken of me at a family reunion a week or so before I started. It is a horrible picture so I can't wait to take another one after the whole30 and compare. I think IlI will definitely look happier and less bloated/puffy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emma Posted August 6, 2019 Share Posted August 6, 2019 On 8/1/2019 at 8:45 PM, C.B. said: I was struggling yesterday to think of measurable, specific goals in the realm of achieving food freedom. I was looking to the end result, rather than to the process, which is where all of the insights and moments of growth lie (I had my 2nd session with my therapist today and she helped me drill down to this). So in that vein, I will look to set some specific goals about the process of achieving food freedom, because although the whole30 will come to an end, food freedom is simply a part of life! There are no ons or offs, it's just time passing, so it's about cultivating habits and mindset around food, and gradually building up overtime. I was thinking about how I'm feeling better and clothes are fitting better and how nice it will be to finally be at a healthy weight and in a healthy body (months and months and months down the road from now), but then I had this panic moment of "oh my how will I ever maintain that!!!!!". And then I realized that I eat so much better this way and the meals look good and are tasty and so why wouldn't I just continue on eating in similar vein for forever. Of course, I'm forgetting about all the addictive things that get in the way and derail me, but Whole30/primal/paleo/keto/clean - whatever it is....I like how lots of veggies, some protein, and healthy fats feel in my body. But it's all a process isn't it. I'm fairly goal driven myself so right now I'm content with this future goal, but....it's hard to do things at such a slow (healthy) pace. Share your insights as you have them. They get me thinking!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C.B. Posted August 9, 2019 Author Share Posted August 9, 2019 Day 13-19 recap I'm back from a being away for the long weekend (I got to visit Waterton in Alberta and Glacier National Park in Montana and both were totally stunning!!) and ready to recap & share how the past few days have been. Going into this weekend, I had the feelings I posted about earlier of apathy towards my W30 and was contemplating eating the goodies and drinking the beer that I knew my friends would be indulging in. Thankfully, a solid therapy session and some reflection afterward got me thinking about how I have been selling myself short throughout the past 1-2 months and helped to turn my mindset around. I finally had reasoning behind why I had come back to the W30 in the first place - to heal my relationship with food. I wasn't connected to this even through the past month of W30 eating because my mindset around foods hadn't changed very much, only the food itself. I was (and am) still eating out of boredom, emotion, and loneliness. I am doing less of it than I was pre-W30, but the behaviour is definitely still prevalent. With these things in mind, I noticed this weekend that a) I was around friends all weekend and felt no urge or desire to over-eat or binge b) When I don't make a big deal of how I am eating, the people I'm with don't either (generally speaking), and if they do have questions I can answer by saying that I am working to change some of my habits around food and that generally dampens any potentially though conversations All of this to say that I connected with the mindful aspect of the W30 and how my approach to eating is just as important, if not more so, than the specific foods themselves. I can learn to eat foods with a mindful approach, and that includes knowing which foods or food groups will wake my sugar dragon or have no brakes and saying no to those all of the time. I am learning, again and again, how important context is to certain foods - like if I'm eating cake alone in my room and hiding it or if I'm eating a slice of homemade pie with my family - and that I CAN enjoy the foods that are nostalgic or delicious or special, there is simply a TIME AND A PLACE. That time and place is not when I'm bored and at home by myself, looking for a distraction but it could be when I'm in a new city and trying a fancy dessert or on my birthday with my mom's homemade pavlova. I am not in that place yet, it will take time and patience with the missteps I will make along the way. Like the one I made this weekend, for example. I was in the states and OVERJOYED when I went to the grocery store and they had ALL OF THE WHOLE30 THINGS! S many cool products that i had been reading about and unable to buy in any stores in my city. One of those products is Larabars - I had tried a few of these flavours on my 1st W30 and quickly discovered that they are a no-brake food for me. Buttt they were on sale and the store had so. many. flavours, plus after a few days of saying no to the drinks and desserts my friends were enjoying, these Larabars felt like a huge win. As soon as I had the chance at home today, though, that sugar dragon came roaring to life. So here I am, learning my same lesson again - if I bring it home, I will eat it. So don't buy no-brake foods. For now! This could be temporary, who knows! Okay wow, if anyone has read all of this, thank you! I had a lot to catch up on, obviously I am feeling a lot better about this journey and the last week of my W30 and my subsequent reintro are feeling more like an opportunity for growth than a burden. The tool was always here, I simply need to find the best way to use it. Big ups to my fellow Day 19ers and I am sending us all of the best vibes for the next week! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emma Posted August 9, 2019 Share Posted August 9, 2019 Great reflections and experiences you've been having. And super kudos for staying Whole30 while with friends. I like the comments about context because the most memorable meals are the ones that are with friends or family. Although, I've been making some really nice meals and enjoying them home alone, but there is that word "enjoying" which indicates mindfulness. I also really like the plates I'm eating on which makes a difference - again, mindfulness. I'd also still really like to go get an ice cream sundae, but I suppose that would be a special event. Hmmm, there are some things for me to think about too because I usually eat very unmindfully, particularly when I'm grazing and seeking more foods which doesn't happen (for the most part) on Whole30. "Opportunity for growth instead of a burden" - nice words to start the day! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy_Michigan Posted August 9, 2019 Share Posted August 9, 2019 12 hours ago, C.B. said: With these things in mind, I noticed this weekend that a) I was around friends all weekend and felt no urge or desire to over-eat or binge b) When I don't make a big deal of how I am eating, the people I'm with don't either (generally speaking), and if they do have questions I can answer by saying that I am working to change some of my habits around food and that generally dampens any potentially though conversations Yay! I have been reading that a lot in people's posts this week, and I have logged it myself- no desire to over-eat or binge on non-compliant foods. We've gone to families houses, friends houses, and/or fast food/restaurants and succeeded in not getting an old favorite dessert or sugary drink. Emma still goes to McDonalds, I still go to Starbucks...and we are still in it to win it, sipping on our unsweetened convenience drink. It's also funny that I often make a bigger deal out of doing a Whole30 than the people I am around. Your observations were so true. Keep up the awesomeness! So funny how excited you were to find larabars... all of the ones I like the best are not compliant Oh well! We are almost to the end..not much longer now! Food freedom here we come. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C.B. Posted August 10, 2019 Author Share Posted August 10, 2019 Day 20 Today I woke up feeling blah and generally feeling down. Coming to the end of the day and reading your comments on here is brightening my spirits, though! I find that if I am productive and have some structure to my morning routine, as well as my routine the night before, it sets up my day SO much better. I like to wake up early and get things done before work, but today I felt a bit lost and that feeling followed me through the day. Almond butter made an appearance again today but I did manage to have a great first shift back at an old job. I caught myself thinking a lot of negative thoughts directed towards me today and i know that it drained my energy, confidence, and willingness to eat nourishing foods, and I don't have a replacement thought for those yet. I also ate my breakfast with deliberate mindfulness this morning, and that's the first step. Food wise, I am excited to stock up tomorrow at the farmer's market and meal prep for the last 10 days of W30 and into my reintroduction. While I was away, I was happy to eat whatever the restaurant had as a W30 option and to rely on hard boiled eggs and raw veggies. But I want to return to eating simple yet complete and nourishing meals. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C.B. Posted August 11, 2019 Author Share Posted August 11, 2019 Day 21 I like having this log here because it reminds me of the motivation I have felt on certain days and the fatigue I have felt on others. Today has been a mix. I have gotten into a rut with my eating and have also fallen back into old habits of deliberately finding time by myself to binge on foods that are technically W30 compliant, but eaten in a way that is not mindful at all. I can see myself on this treadmill, feeling good some days and terrible on others and finding it difficult not only to break out of it but to want to break out of it. This pattern I've developed is so comfortable. It's what I have come to know. Breaking out of it means acknowledging I have a problem, admitting to my friends and family that this isn't just about finding the foods that work for me physically but about breaking free of the toxic relationship I have developed with food and the ways that I abuse it to distract me from what is really going on in my life, whether it's isolation, depression, or stress. I am really grateful that this community is here as a safe space to talk about my relationship with food. I am not honest with very many people about how much of an issue this has become for me, so it means a lot to be able to write this here, let alone have a few people read it and be reassured that other people are going through similar things. All of that said I DID take a mindful minute before my breakfast this morning, and I'm proud of myself for that step, no matter how small Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emma Posted August 11, 2019 Share Posted August 11, 2019 It is lots and lots of baby steps I suppose. A mindful minute counts big time. Binging on Whole30 foods is a heck of a lot better than other foods - particularly if you binge on roasted cauliflower I do love that stuff and am always a bit embarrassed that I eat a whole head of it. But yeah, the binging and overeating....none of it is healthy. But it is better on Whole30 because the food isn't toxic and the food isn't weighing you down chemically. The food is just food. I like to think that the longer I eat clean foods, the likelihood of the good healthy bacteria in my gut having a say in my behaviors and emotions will increase. We shall see. And being mindful while eating - that's hard. It takes a lot of energy to be mindful and practice and focus and energy and practice and focus....I don't think I ate anything mindfully today though I did appreciate the sausage I ate and I imagined myself backpacking with it in my backpack. But the rest was a blur. I like this forum as well and agree the opportunity to reflect and think back on previous reflections is good. I see my own up and down moods and it has me thinking about the things that are behind them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy_Michigan Posted August 11, 2019 Share Posted August 11, 2019 I can relate to that... I have a lot of work to do after this whole30 to keep working on my relationship with food. And I need to work on changing my life in ways to prevent myself from going back to old habits. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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