Prairie Dawn's September Whole30 Log

[Amura]

Sending you lots of vitual hugs.
I think you have already received great advice, I just wanted to say that here you have a little community and you can count on our support.

If the Whole30 feels like a bit too much at this point in your life then maybe take a break. Re-arranging your plan is not a failure, not at all. 
But if you feel that focusing on food and health helps you to keep going with your life and your routines, it might be worth trying.
Either way it's ok.

[JenRaye]

On 9/6/2019 at 3:13 PM, Amura said:

Does not seem easy. At all. 
And much more dynamic than the general idea of yoga for me!

It's very interesting, I think it's the kind of thing I would not mind trying...

Same!

[JessFind]

Aw honey I’m so sorry. But I’m so proud of you for advocating for yourself. You only need to worry about your mental health right now. So if having the Whole 30 helps like you feel some control over your life when things feel out of control, then go with it. If you feel like you need to have a glass (or bottle) of wine and cry it out with your girlfriends, then do that too. The Whole 30 will always be here, and you can always try again. 

We love you!! 

[Prairie Dawn]

Thank you all for your kind words and support.  It really does mean a lot.  Right now I figure I may as well keep going, at least for the next few days, since basically all I have in my fridge is whole30 food anyway and I don't have much of an appetite.  Gonna try and at least do the 3 meals a day, as close to template as I can... I might try the trick of plating a meal, and then eating as much as I can, and then picking it up later if I don't finish it.  

Honestly, I'm kind of surprised that I've stayed "technically compliant" in the face of all this.  I'll take it day by day and will remind myself that I have full permission to stop and focus on mental health (thanks @JessFind) if I decide it's not something I can fully commit to.

In the meantime, there's plenty of sad movies and long walks with girlfriends to keep me going...  

[Prairie Dawn]

Well, I've decided to pause my Whole30, just because I'm not really in the right headspace to give it the attention I want to.  And when I say that, I mean the GOOD kind of attention, not the obsessive-controlling-worrying-I'm-doing-something-wrong kind of attention, which is where I could feel this going.

Even though I've been able to stay technically compliant this week (Day 11!), I feel like focusing so much on what I eat, when I eat it, the amounts I'm eating, and how my eating is affecting me is pulling attention away from my other thoughts and feelings right now, which really need some space.  I'm going to focus on taking care of my heart and processing what's been going on.  Maybe once I get past the heartbreak and rage and into the growth part of this I'll revisit the Whole30 with more mental availability.

In the meantime, let me just say: I've lost a few pounds (probably a combination of Whole30 and stress), and after OrangeTheory last night I actually slept for 5 hours straight - a real NSV for me.  I will take it!  And if I end up doing a technically compliant Whole30 by default (I don't think I realized just how thoroughly I'd prepped for an entire month), I'll report back here.

 

[kirbz]

@Prairie Dawn I'm glad you've made a decision and are giving yourself the space and grace to process what your facing without the additional burden of Whole30. I'm a firm believer that this is not a journey that is right for every time and that it's perfectly okay to acknowledge that and move on. I've also made the decision to not finish a Whole30 because it was causing more harm than good. And that's okay. I came back to it later and was better off for it. 

I do wish you the very, very best!