Like an Onion

[Amy_Michigan]

I thought at first you meant you were working on writing a book instead of in the middle of reading one..oops.  Anyway, besides the green beans, sounds like you are doing great.  I sometimes look back to 2014-2015 when I was at my healthiest, and I wonder why I can't just be that person again with that motivation and healthy eating habits.  I remember feeling low-stress at my job, and I was able to work outside a lot in addition to spending time outdoors at home getting into shape.  People say you should look at the food you eat first, but for me I think if I am sabotaging my fitness goals/exercise routine, I don't have a lot of motivation to eat healthy either. 

[Brewer5]

Day 13:  4/26/20

—

Up at 6:20 am on my own again, and it’s not even a sunny day.  Raining and cold.  Yuck.  I have a lot of computer work to do, so I guess this is the day for it.  I got the sunroom table cleaned off from the “winter pile-up” of crap that lands there - so I can work outside-ish without actually being outside.  Plus WAY less distractions here.

—

The V-8 made my whole chin itchy last night - definite, almost immediate reaction - I don’t know how many times I have to test this.  Apparently … like three or four?  Lol.  I’m dumping the rest of the jug.  No one else here drinks it.

—

I was just thinking:  I want to take my kids to the zoo.  Then I started thinking about all of the things I won’t ever take for granted again.  Will I be able to take my kids to the zoo this summer?  We have TWO great zoos within about an hour of our home.  Past summers - we’ve been too busy with constant baseball to do very much else.  We haven’t taken the kids to a zoo in several years.  This summer will be the first without baseball (not because of coronavirus, but because our oldest is going on to college and the others aren’t interested).  There are so many things I was looking forward to doing instead of baseball.

What strange, strange times we are living in.

Okay - back to work.   

—

11:30 am:  homemade meatballs in air fryer again

—

1:30 pm:  more meatballs, with unsweetened ketchup

—

We have food, but W30 groceries are definitely getting low.  I’m having to get creative.  A snack-size bag of Planters peanuts was just calling my name from the cabinet!  Yikes.

—

6:00 pm:  two chicken breasts cooked with ghee, canned tomatoes and green chilis, low-FODMAP seasoning, topped with avocado ranch

This was really good, but SPICY.  I'll definitely be doing this again.  I was afraid it was going to upset my stomach, but - so far, so good.

—

7:40 pm:  glass of unsweetened almond milk

—

Really missing my sparkling water.  We’re picking up a Walmart grocery order tomorrow, and it just keeps growing and growing as we add things to it.  Had a moment where I thought about slamming down a diet Dr. Pepper … thankfully my will to feel good is much stronger right now than the temptation of drinking a bottle full of chemicals.  

—

9:30 pm:  can of tuna, avocado ranch, chopped raw almonds (tuna salad) wrapped in seaweed sheets

—

The sun ended up coming out, and we got our fence finished.  Took the dogs for a walk.  Got all of my paperwork filled out for this new job & put in the mail.  Battled a couple of temptations d/t low groceries ~ not having my familiar standbys.  But I got creative & I got through just fine.  Overall, a good day.

[Brewer5]

5 minutes ago, Amy_Michigan said:

I thought at first you meant you were working on writing a book instead of in the middle of reading one..oops.  Anyway, besides the green beans, sounds like you are doing great.  I sometimes look back to 2014-2015 when I was at my healthiest, and I wonder why I can't just be that person again with that motivation and healthy eating habits.  I remember feeling low-stress at my job, and I was able to work outside a lot in addition to spending time outdoors at home getting into shape.  People say you should look at the food you eat first, but for me I think if I am sabotaging my fitness goals/exercise routine, I don't have a lot of motivation to eat healthy either. 

At first I thought you meant that green beans aren't compliant - and I thought, oh geez, did they change the rules on this one?  Lol.  No ... no, they did not.  So while they are perfectly acceptable on a W30 - no, they are not a good choice for me.  I don't think I mentioned that canned green beans cause my blood sugar to spike (I know, that sounds weird, but it is true) - and I had SO much trouble keeping my eyes open after I ate that meal.  It was ridiculous.  Not worth it.  I'm used to feeling pretty mentally clear now, and that was not the right food for it.

I should be writing a book.  I have several books inside me.    

And I hear you - there are a variety of factors that all have to (at least sort of) come together in order to be healthy and successful overall.  A huge turning point for me was the change in the weather.  I live not too far from you - Indianapolis vicinity (although not too close, thank God) - so you and I are suffering the same shitty weather / consequences of being too far north.  I realized recently I really feel my best in about the 2 months leading up to summer solstice (June 20-22) and the 2 months after.  This is a rough timeline ... but it's pretty much my reality.  That's 4 good months out of the year, and the rest is just: "ugh".

I choose right now not to be depressed about it ~ but to make the very most of the good time that I have.

[Brewer5]

Day 14:  4/27/20

—

Up on my own at 5:45 am today … okay, I guess this is good as I begin to think about going back into nursing - where day shift generally starts at 6:00 or 7:00 am.  I don’t feel tired, or wired … just awake and ready to start my day.  So, {shrug}.  Cool.

—

10:40 am:  bacon and eggs, brahmi ghee in my coffee

I was feeling pretty overstimulated after a big online quiz.  I wouldn’t have started it at that moment if I had known what I was getting into.  The brahmi ghee is W30 approved, and supposed to be calming, so I tried it in my coffee for the first time.  Not bad ~ and might have helped.  Eating {and taking a step away from the school work for awhile} helped, too. 

—

5:00 pm:  burger, W30 frozen meal, tri-color cole slaw veggie mix w/ avocado ranch

—

8:00 pm:  burger, cole slaw w/ ranch, HB eggs w/ mayo

—

SO happy to have groceries again!

[Brewer5]

Day 14:  4/27/20 (cont)

9:30 pm:  1 oz raw almonds w/ raisins - (I didn't measure the raisins, but I didn't go too crazy with them )

--

Had a call today from a recruiter - a LTC staffing agency.  My aunt gave her my name, so I know the lady is "super nice" and it's legit.  Offering to pay considerably more than the already-good rate I negotiated with the one I just signed up with.  I can be employed by both of them ... I can be signed up with however many PRN jobs I want.  ...How many jobs do I want?  That is the question.

So ~ feeling a little overwhelmed today.  We do need the money - and there are many parts of nursing that I do love.  It feels like a part of myself has been missing, on one hand - and on the other hand, I've been free to explore other paths and consider what I really want to do, and what kind of work is best for my personality.  We have also gotten a ton of projects done around the house (although there are always plenty more).

Having the kids home has been an overall good thing.  Not being able to go work at my desk in the office with my employer - in my clutter-free, and mostly distraction-free little nook - has overall not been a good thing.  I feel like I get no real downtime ... like I'm "on" all the time.  There are a million things to do, everywhere I look.  Part of this is also starting this new degree.  I sometimes think, what in the world was I thinking?

Well.  I sure as hell wasn't thinking that the world was going to get turned upside down.  So.  I'm trying to grant myself some grace with the new school program.  I can, for the most part, work at my own pace.  Note: I said "pace".  I don't think you have a pace if you are standing still.  I have to be at least moving forward.  Lol.

All of this has nothing to do with food.  The past 2 weeks I have felt considerably better - my mood has been better, my energy, my mental clarity.  Sometimes I feel like I can take on the world - and that's great!  But that can also be dangerous.  I don't want to be juggling so many balls in the air that just ONE more ball thrown at me sends them all crashing down.

--

I think what I really need is to shut up and get a good night of sleep.  

[Amy_Michigan]

On 4/26/2020 at 10:48 PM, Brewer5 said:

At first I thought you meant that green beans aren't compliant - and I thought, oh geez, did they change the rules on this one?  Lol.  

Haha...Oops.  Just trying to say I felt bad you may have eaten something that didnt make you feel the best... anyway, very cool that you live in the Indianapolis area and we are both midwesterners.  I don't think I have ever visited Indiana.  Ohio and Wisconsin- yes.  I haven't had an excuse to go to many other midwestern states.  I decided after studying abroad in college that I wanted to appreciate where I live more and explore every corner of the cities I live in and keep travel within my state for the most part and cherish moments with family instead of leaving them behind again.  I know I'm missing out on a lot of wonderful parks and other touristy places doing that, so maybe eventually I will change my tune, but that has kind of been my motto unless my work sends me somewhere.  

Anyway, I love the vibe and energy you are giving off in your posts lately!  You are rocking it!  It is a bit contagious, I feel!  And the weather is beautiful today, so that helps!

[Brewer5]

Day 15:  4/28/20

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11:40 am:  burger, W30 frozen meal w/ ghee

—

I was just thinking in the past couple of days how I should post about my skin clearing up.  Today, I see several new little pimples.  Lol.  Ghee has always been suspect for me - and I am using a new lotion on my face that I guess could be contributing.  So much for that post!

—

4:15 pm:  burger, bacon, cole slaw veggies w/ ranch

—

6:20 pm:  1 oz raw almonds, raisins

I knew when I did this last night ^ that I had started something new … however, I don’t feel out of control with it.  If I do - I’ll stop eating this snack combo.

—

You wouldn’t think that one would notice weight loss in “one-size-fits-all” leggings … but I do.  They are fitting differently, for sure.  It’s almost kind of annoying, like they are riding up too much now.  Lol.  But I’ll take it!

I am NOT a fan of using the scale to determine success.  I got over that idea many years ago.  But I am looking forward to seeing the number on Day 31 - just out of curiosity and confirmation.  Because I do not limit my intake - and I don’t ever feel deprived.  So many people think they have to “restrict” in order to lose - and that just isn’t true.  I have eaten what seemed to me like massive amounts of food in the past, and still lost fat.  It does not have to be a miserable experience.

—

I’m sitting outside working on our checkbook on the computer, and my husband decided to start a fire.  It’s nice and all - but I can already tell I might wake up with a headache tomorrow.  I also just realized I haven’t really had supper.  Hmmm.

—

10:15 pm:  chicken breasts cooked w/ canned tomatoes & green chilis, topped with avocado ranch

Entirely too late to be eating supper - but, I think better than not eating at all, in this case.  I have school work to do and a phone call with my college mentor first thing tomorrow morning.  Skipping meals doesn't really seem to do me any favors.

[Brewer5]

12 hours ago, Amy_Michigan said:

Haha...Oops.  Just trying to say I felt bad you may have eaten something that didnt make you feel the best... anyway, very cool that you live in the Indianapolis area and we are both midwesterners.  I don't think I have ever visited Indiana.  Ohio and Wisconsin- yes.  I haven't had an excuse to go to many other midwestern states.  I decided after studying abroad in college that I wanted to appreciate where I live more and explore every corner of the cities I live in and keep travel within my state for the most part and cherish moments with family instead of leaving them behind again.  I know I'm missing out on a lot of wonderful parks and other touristy places doing that, so maybe eventually I will change my tune, but that has kind of been my motto unless my work sends me somewhere.  

Anyway, I love the vibe and energy you are giving off in your posts lately!  You are rocking it!  It is a bit contagious, I feel!  And the weather is beautiful today, so that helps!

Thanks, Amy.  

If you ever decide you want to visit Indiana - there is a lot of cool stuff to do in Fort Wayne, which is not too far from Detroit.

They have a very nice children's zoo.  When my kids were little, we used to get an annual pass and go several times each summer.  My kids never got bored with it.  There is A LOT to see & do there.

There's a Johnny Appleseed festival, which I have never been to.  He's buried somewhere in Fort Wayne - but there is debate as to where, exactly.

There is, of course - the old fort - which I went to one time on a field trip for school (so like, 30 years ago? lol) but I haven't been there since.

Glenbrook mall has a huge carousel right in the middle of the food court - my kids always loved that.  

I haven't been there in awhile.  My information might be out of date.  

[Brewer5]

Day 16:  4/29/20

—

First:  Let’s get this out of the way.

I DID end up finishing the bag of raw almonds last night - this was probably 2-3 oz. WITH an undetermined amount of raisins.

I knew the potential was there - it was such a tasty combo, and I hadn’t had anything like that for a bit.  “Wow, this could be dangerous…” I thought to myself.

Yes, yes it could.

So the almonds are gone, and I won’t be buying any more.

I majorly passed out on the couch - “slept in” until close to 7:00 - and woke up, of course not feeling great, with just stupid thoughts going through my head:  “This is why I always give up, I can eat W30 foods and still feel like shit…” etc. etc.

And that is just ridiculous.

Let’s not throw the baby out with the bath water here.

Time for personal responsibility:

I KNOW that nuts and seeds - pretty much ALL nuts and seeds - should be out of my life.  I did an entire W30 not allowing ANY nuts and seeds - it was that important.

I KNOW I have histamine intolerance - and raisins are at the top of the list re: histamine-containing foods.

So wtf did you think was going to happen, dummy?  Lol.  I mean, really.

A quick evaluation in my mind of HALT: Was I Hungry? Angry? Lonely? Tired? reveals the answer pretty quickly:  I was TIRED.  I had already started to doze off at my computer after the too-late bowl of supper - and got up and “grabbed a snack” - thinking it would help me plow through and finish the school work I was in the middle of.

To quote Samuel L. Jackson and a wonderful children’s book  :  Go the fuck to sleep.

Old habits die hard.  But new habits are where the gold is.

In the time it's taken me to type this out - I've moved on and forgiven myself already.  See how easy that was?!  It's a beautiful new day - I am halfway-through a Whole 30 - and I have a lot to be thankful for in my life.  Now, I get on with living it.  Have a glorious day!

[Brewer5]

Day 16:  4/29/20 (cont)

—

11:00 am:  two burgers w/ ghee and salt

—

2:35 pm:  banana and 1 oz. raw macadamia nuts

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4:35 pm:  diced potatoes cooked in ghee w/ avocado ranch

—

10:00 pm:  two chicken breasts, sliced potatoes cooked in ghee, all topped w/ buffalo ranch

—

It’s going to be one of those weird times where I pretty much just post my food.  Today was fine - just busy. 

[Brewer5]

Day 17:  4/30/20

—

Thinking early this morning about the pressures we put on ourselves.

If you picture your brain like a big storage facility … there are those things that are mixed up in that fur ball in the corner, right?  It’s been there for so long, we don’t normally pay any attention to it.  But it’s still there.  Taking up room.

If you were to separate out the different parts of that fur ball and closely examine them - dust them off with your tiny brush, really look at them - you might find that these things don’t belong in your brain at all.

What is this doing in here?  Where did it come from?  Why am I holding on to it?

And you might just decide to toss it out.

—

I am a perfectionist by nature.  That is a blessing in some areas of life - and a curse in others.

I had a moment this morning where I realized that there are some things I care about, some things I strive to be - that literally no one else on this planet understands or values.

Then I started thinking about the origins … what drives me.  There are so many life experiences that end up shaping who we are.

I think regularly dusting off and evaluating the components of fur balls is important and healthy.

—

It’s rainy here - but I’m not letting it get me down.  I hope we can all have a fantastic day!  

[Brewer5]

Day 17:  4/30/20 (cont)

—

10:30 am: (1) acetaminophen - d/t headache.  I’m going to chalk this up to the cold, rainy weather and not evaluate it further.

—

10:45 am:  (3) eggs, diced potatoes, cooked in ghee & high-quality bacon grease, with "new bae" seasoning from Thrive.

I’m so glad I found these low-FODMAP seasonings.  It seems like they want to put onion and garlic in *everything* - and that is horrible for people with IBS.

This one makes things taste like sausage to me, so it was perfect to go with this breakfast.  It also makes killer meatballs.  Now I want meatballs……..  

—

11:00 am:  raisins and almonds (yes, I discovered a bag of trail mix in this house I’d forgotten about, and I went through and picked out ONLY the almonds)

Moving on …

—

Just got back from a frigid, windy walk with the dogs.  Tomorrow is May, and it’s 45 degrees here.  What the heck?!  But we went for a walk anyway … I'm glad I made myself go, I guess.  Still - it was brutal.  I hate the cold wind.

—

5:45 pm:  tuna salad (the usual), diced potatoes w/ ghee

—

It’s been cold, rainy, and cloudy all day - and I just want to EAT.  I don’t even know *what* at this point.  Something I can sit down with an entire bag of.  I don’t even know what that would be.

—

^ That passed, and I’m not eating anything else before bed.  I have a couple of things to finish up around here - and then hopefully can get a good night of sleep.  Thank God, the weather looks nicer tomorrow - full sun + a high of 66 degrees.  I will take it!

[Brewer5]

Day 18:  5/1/20

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2:15 pm:  W30 butter chicken frozen meal, diced potatoes, ghee

—

Yeah … that was like an unintentional 20 hour fast?  Well, ok then.  I've had coffee, have felt fine & productive - so, whatever.

—

I officially made the decision this morning to put this degree on hold.  My mentor had mentioned this possibility a couple of days ago, when I told her I’m going back into nursing.  As soon as I heard her say I could essentially quit (but not quit … unless that is what I end up deciding) and get a full refund of the fees I’ve paid - my mind felt a HUGE sense of relief.

I’ve been going back and forth between wishing I hadn’t signed up for this right now - and telling myself it’s going to be fine.  Well, it IS fine … but it’s not ideal.  I just don’t have the time and energy to devote to it like I once thought I would.  So much around here has changed since I first started looking into this program, back in January.  I could make a list, but - you know - all I really have to say is: coronavirus.

—

4:00 pm:  raw walnuts & raisins

—

My jeans are definitely fitting differently - I noticed that yesterday.  I haven’t been wearing jeans much, since I’ve just been at home all the time.  But I’d definitely had to break out the “fat jeans” prior to this W30.  I was really gaining weight at a crazy pace since I quit nursing - where I just go, go, go all the time - and started working a desk job only.

—

9:45 pm:  meatballs w/ unsweetened ketchup, diced potatoes w/ ghee & ranch, glass of unsweetened almond milk

—

Sitting at the computer ready to post this, and can barely keep my eyes open.  I think I'll just go to sleep.  

[Brewer5]

Day 19:  5/2/20

—

Monday will be 6 months I have been working at my new (non-nursing) job.  Just had a great conversation with my 18-year-old about “putting feathers in your cap”.  I have learned a LOT of information in this time - took a deep dive into an industry to which I had never given much thought before.

He is going to college for engineering in the fall - but for now, working with his girlfriend’s dad, learning how to do chimney work.  I told him I’m proud of him for getting out there and trying something new.  I think it is so important for us to keep growing, learning, and putting feathers in our caps.

—

12:30 pm:  meatballs

—

3:45 pm:  raw walnuts, macadamia nuts, raisins

—

With the governor's newly announced plans to phase us back into normal society - I think we’ve decided to go ahead and have my son’s graduation party the first weekend of June, as planned, even though they’ve moved commencement to July.  There is a swimming pool and hot tub at the house we rented for the weekend to do this.  Shedding some of this “winter coat” just became a bigger priority.  

—

9:10 pm:  meatballs, diced potatoes, ghee, avocado ranch

—

Finally got to finish a documentary I've been wanting to get to for awhile now.  I fell asleep the first time.  My days of coma-like passing out after meals are hopefully behind me.

[Brewer5]

Day 20:  5/3/20

—

Woke up today with that high-histamine feeling.  I need to remember that ...

Because I’m also feeling anxious about starting my new nursing job tomorrow.  I’m only going in for a couple of hours in the afternoon to learn paperwork stuff.  But I’ll be working with the DON, and meeting her for the first time.  I’ve haven't been to this facility before.  I was hired through a staffing agency, which fills in vacancies for facilities all over the state.

I’m working on countering those negative thoughts that creep in.  I really do want this to work out - and I can't let negativity creep in for no apparent reason.

Thankfully I have about 4.5 hours of work I need to do on the computer today.  So I can focus on that!

—

Feeling much better after my shower.  It’s going to be okay!   

—

1:20 pm:  W30 frozen meal w/ ghee, raw macadamia nuts & raisins

—

7:15 pm:  burgers, diced potatoes w/ ghee, raisins

—

Yes, I seem to have acquired a raisin problem.  They’re almost gone.  

[Brewer5]

Day 21:  5/4/20

—

Today has been an interesting day so far.  I’m typing this out after the fact - instead of throughout my day, as I’ve been doing.

—

I wanted to go to this first meeting at the new facility with no Imodium and no anxiety medication.  I have been feeling SO much better, and more confident, and less anxious overall … since the weather has changed and I’m outside A LOT - and I’ve been sticking with W30 food.

I always go through this careful planning/thinking about *what* do I eat, *when* do I eat, to keep my blood sugar from getting funky (not good for anxiety) AND not have an upset stomach.

Oh, this has been a battle for so many years … perhaps my entire life.  I definitely know, in high school, I went all day without eating and just ate after school.  I don’t remember it being a thought-out choice - I just know that’s the way it was.

It's very depressing to think that something we HAVE to do (eating) has caused me so much stress and anxiety.

Anyway ~ today, I settled on dicing and boiling a russet potato with salt, until it pretty much turned into mashed potatoes.  I ate half of it in the car before I went in to the facility - and the other half when I got out.

—

12:50 pm:  half of a big russet potato

—

2:30 pm:  the other half of a big russet potato

—

This made me feel like I had taken drugs, when in fact - I had not.  Lol.  There needs to be some protein next time.  Chicken is pretty safe.

—

4:45 pm:  two burgers, bacon, avocado ranch, and ... finished the damned raisins

—

I haven’t talked about it here - but I discovered in my carnivore adventures that I might have some kind of issue with beef and/or pork.  I’m not going to go into it more right now - it’s just something I’ve had to be aware of.  Those are in the “safe to eat when I have nowhere I need to go” category for now.

—

10:15 pm:  2 eggs, 2 egg whites, diced potatoes, ghee

(Had two weird yolks when I cracked them, and had to throw them out.)

—

Not feeling fantastic.  It was a weird day of eating, for sure.  I feel like I drank too much coffee after I got home, and didn't eat enough - hence, the meal at 10:15 at night.

And I have to get up and leave early to go watch 6-8 hours of orientation videos.  Yee haw!   

[Brewer5]

Day 22:  5/5/20

—

I was at work today to watch the orientation videos - added protein this time, and had a MUCH better-feeling day.  It was a good balance.

—

9:30 am:  chicken breast, diced potato, ghee

—

6:00 pm:  banana, two burgers w/ lettuce, ranch, bacon

—

That’s it.  Fell asleep at bedtime, and forgot to post this.

[Brewer5]

Day 23:  5/6/20

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9:00 am:  banana

—

1:45 pm:  1/2 chicken breast, 1/2 diced potato

—

6:30 pm:  1/2 chicken breast, 1/2 diced potato

—

First full shift back at nursing.  It was good!

BUSY … what a dumb word.  Doesn’t quite cover it.  Lol.

But good.

I really, really love caring for these people.  Feels like a part of me awakened that has been sleeping.

[Amy_Michigan]

Yay!  That is wonderful to hear!  Good luck with the new job To get my mind off of my own job stress and worries, I've been walking everyday and doing Spanish lessons.  Only 3 days in...hope I can keep up this up because goal achievement feels really good!!!

[Brewer5]

Day 24:  5/7/20

—

9:30 am:  frozen W30 meal w/ ghee

—

Definitely feeling the effects of working an evening shift … didn’t get to sleep until around 1 am, and that’s pretty far from my norm.

Had a moment in the kitchen this morning of: “screw it, let’s just shove in whatever’s easy” … but didn’t take me long to counter that with: “no way, you’ve come too far”.

And I don’t mean far as in # of days.  I mean far, as in:  managing anxiety much more effectively / reduced overall, majorly cutting down on the painful bloat and bowel issues, beginning to shed some of the ridiculous winter fat layer, and not feeling out of control with my food decisions.

So I know that the next day after a nursing shift, I’m going to need to be careful to honor my body’s needs … and no, that isn’t cramming in “whatever works” in that moment because I’m tired.  That is *nourishing* my body.  Giving it good food, fluids, and rest … realizing that, internally, I have just gone through a battle - because it is.  For me, especially.  I think some do better with it than others - but we are not designed to be “ON” for 8, 10, 12, 16 hours STRAIGHT.  Alas ~ that is nursing.  The woman I took report from yesterday afternoon had just been on duty for 20 hours.

—

3:15 pm:  chicken breast, tri-color cole slaw veggies w/ ranch

—

9:15 pm:  (2) HB eggs, tri-color Cole slaw veggies w/ ranch

[Brewer5]

Day 25:  5/8/20

—

As I count up to Day 31, I look forward to weighing myself.  And that’s about it.  I have thought about what I am “missing”.  I am missing nothing.

I’ve had moments where I wanted to have a glass of wine in the evening - and my next thought is of that hungover feeling in the morning … what it seems to do to my blood sugar … and that once I take that first sip of wine, my brain switches over from “W30 mindset” to “there are no rules”.

I don’t want to go back there.  So I keep on keeping on.

—

10:45 am:  W30 frozen meal w/ ghee

—

4:00 pm:  burger, lots of tri-color Cole slaw w/ ranch and (2) HB eggs

—

8:00 pm:  W30 frozen meal w/ diced potatoes and ghee

—

10:30 pm:  (2) Imodium

I got hit with stomach issues, and thought, oh no … I cannot have this going on when I have to get up super early and be at work at 6:00 am tomorrow.

 

[Brewer5]

Day 26:  5/9/20

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8:30 am - 3:00 pm:  I consumed the (1) banana and (4) eggs my husband made (yes, into pancakes) for me the night before, so that I could have them in the fridge at work to grab whenever I could on my shift today.

I am not a pancake addict.  Sadly, I don’t think bananas are the best choice for me  - so this is not going to turn into a pancake addiction, either.  They make my mouth feel weird.  I don't think they make me feel great overall.

—

7:00 pm:  homemade steak fries in air fryer w/ avocado ranch

—

Weird eating day - weird day, anyway.  I got 4 hours of sleep last night, and feel a little bit like I’m in a dream state since I got home from work.  Had a really good day at work, though.

Feeling thankful.   

[Brewer5]

Day 27:  5/10/20

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I have had some things popping up on this W30 journey that I don’t think I’ve talked about here yet.  I have felt so good in other areas, I haven’t wanted to address it just yet.

I had a Baker’s cyst in the back of my knee years ago, when my kids were little - and one day at the library, it ruptured.  That was a feeling quite unlike anything I’d ever experienced.  I was convinced that something was terribly wrong, and all I could think was that I had a blockage - a blood clot somewhere that was going to kill me.  It might not make any sense to me now, but at the time I was convinced that I was going to die, so I went to the ER.  They told me what was going on, I went home and elevated the leg, and soon all was well.

That feeling in the back of my knee flares up sometimes - and I haven’t been able to pinpoint the cause, exactly.  It seemed to happen when I would try to go back to carnivore - and that is part of what has kept me from it.

But now … I am not eating what I would consider meat-heavy, at all, and yet it has been an ongoing issue.

So there is inflammation.  That is the bottom line.  I want to point my finger at potatoes, but I wasn’t eating potatoes on carnivore.

—

NOW I have had something new - a feeling (pain) in my right elbow.  It’s gone on long enough that I don’t feel that this is an acute injury … and I never did.  It’s more inflammation, and this time in a new place.  I’ve been able to live my daily life … but, if I were really trying to do things with that right arm - like lifting weights, mowing the yard, using my chainsaw - all of those things that I love - then this would REALLY be pissing me off.

(As I'm typing this, there's a feeling in my left pinky, like pins and needles.  WTF...)

—

I’m not sure, at this moment, at 7:35 am on Mother’s Day, what I’m going to do about it.  I don’t know how I want to proceed.  I feel like I’m getting back to that place of “I don’t know what to eat” and “I wish I just didn’t have to eat” because W30 limits so many things (and rightfully so) - and then I have to narrow it down even further, because I have issues with so many plant foods, for one reason or another.

—

I think possibly no one is going to read this today.  Lol.  But, if you are out there reading - I hope you have a nice, relaxing Mother’s Day.

I have decided to give myself the day off - no attempting to do my work on the computer.  I am behind on hours, but I can play catch-up starting tomorrow.

Today I want to put down new flooring in the kitchen.  And so, I shall.  My joints might be unhappy with me ... but they can get over it.   

[Brewer5]

Day 27:  5/10/20 (cont)

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1:30 pm:  piece of salmon w/ ghee, air fryer steak fries

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8:50 pm:  Five Guys two patties, grilled onions, lettuce, tomato, air fryer steak fries w/ ranch

—

Clearly I didn’t decide to cut out potatoes today.

I did have a good, productive day - got about 1/3 of the kitchen floor done.  I felt great doing it, but ever since I decided to sit down and eat supper, I’m feeling it in my lower back.

Getting old sucks.  

I don't think it has much to do with my age, though.  I'm just not as strong as I used to be.  My body isn't used to all of this.  Part of what I loved about weightlifting was that when you progressively build up that kind of muscle - it makes everyday activities so much easier ... like nothing.  I miss that.

[BabyBear]

Look at you go!  I’m so proud of you!!!!