BabyBear

Very hungry mommy 1st Time whole 30 Jan 2020

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6:15 baby wakes me up! I’m thinking it’s 3am I change him put him back down and check the clock and full blown panic sweeps over me.  

I feel rough still.  It maybe I didn’t get enough water so I feel bloated and constipated.  I didn’t track my water yesterday and I just don’t feel like I drank as much as usual.  Focus on the water today.  Today is a crazy busy day, but I can do this!  I’ve got this.  I’ve come this far, so I’m pressing in toward my mark!

I’m thinking the stress levels are affecting my appetite still.  I’m not going to force myself to eat, but I did grab a hot mug of bone broth and maybe that will help.  Packed lunches (including mine) got everyone out the door even started load of laundry and hung up the things that had to air dry.  I got most of the dishes except the big bowls and a sheet pan done.  I could sleep for 1,000 hours.  Today I spend in the big city working.  I also had to taxi the hubby to pick up his truck from the shop.  I’m so glad we didn’t go yesterday I probably would have fallen asleep.  The nice part was he drove, which means I was able to get a little over an hour work done on the road.  I can tell my stress level is showing because he keeps asking if I’m okay what’s wrong and how can I help.  I just have a million things that have to get done and trying to sort them and develops reasonable timeline to get them done.  It’s gonna be okay! I’m gonna survive the prep for going out of town and I will enjoy our weekend away working together.  

NSV: you know that pair of pants and blouse you keep in the back of your closet that you keep just Incase you are in desperate need for clean clothes, but you never wear them because they are just too tight for comfort?  I was down to those today.  So on top of not feeling great due to stress I’m going to have to wear clothes that make feel less than pretty.  I slipped on the pants and they buttoned no bulge and comfortable.  The blouse also fit comfortable and no tightness.  I needed that NSV this morning 

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2:00 M1: 2 sweet potato mini quiche with spinach and sausage, sautéed cabbage with bacon, sweet potato with almond butter.

Hello hunger my old friend.  Finally started feeling hungry and it’s hunger because I’ve been drinking lots of water.  I feel better too, the water definitely helped.  Food taste so much better when you are hungry!

I’m regretting not wearing a belt… I honestly didn’t think I would need it with these pants.  I guess that’s a good problem to have

11:00 M2:  2 mini quiche and a clementine 

I’m not really hungry but thinking it would be wise to eat so I don’t get the munchies.   Phew it’s been a long day and it’s not quite over yet.  My mood and energy definitely improved throughout the day.  Water certainly helped.  I went straight to the grocery store when I got back to town.  Grabbed the specialty foods my 11 yr DS will need while with his grandparents and a few other supplies for the boys and the remaining items for my trip.  I’m going to have a successful whole 30 weekend even while traveling and vending.  Let the packing begin!

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It’s Day 16 and I’m fired up, taking the bulls by the horn and controlling my outcome.

7:55 rise and shine.  Trying not to stress and just take one task at a time

9:00 M1: 2 mini quiche with primal steak sauce, 1 Tbs coconut oil, and 1/2 a grapefruit.

I felt the hunger coming on so I stopped what I was doing and grabbed some food.  It hit the stop and I’m back at it

11:30 I got the boys out the door and now I can focus on getting me ready.  Not to mention all the work interruptions I’ve had today.

1:00 S1: trying to do all things and I felt the hunger rise up so I grabbed the four blackberries I set aside from making a fruit compote for the babies yogurt, and 1 slice of no sugar bacon I just pulled out of the oven.  Both were delicious and well enjoyed.  I’m in the middle of all the food prep for my trip.

3:00 M2: sweet and sour chicken with onions and peppers on a bed of riced cauliflower with clarified butter.

https://www.maryswholelife.com/whole30-instant-pot-hawaiian-chicken/

OMG this dish is the bomb baby!  I made clarified butter to go over my riced cauliflower.  The ghee is okay for cooking with, but it has a distinct flavor that just doesn’t do it for me as a plated fat.  I’m not a big fan of cauliflower and I was gonna need a tasty plated fat to help me enjoy it.  So I made the attempt.  It turned out great and taste soooooooo much better than the ghee I have.  I will still use the ghee for cooking until I run out.  Now back to the kitchen lol

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Day 16 cont 

My brother is an amazing person, I’m the oldest but only by 21 months.  We think a lot alike and we both have a pretty warped sense of humor.  We get each other in ways no one else could.  His wife is amazing and practically perfect in every way!  She is quite literally the most beautiful person inside and out that you will ever meet.  And she has the beauty queen crowns to prove it. They are watching our dog while we are out of town this weekend so I had to drive out to their little cabin in the woods.  I needed the break and enjoyed the drive.  My sister in love greeted me with a hug and started in without taking a breath in her sweet southern girl way with “oh my gosh I saw your doing a whole 30? How’s that going? You look fabulous? Do you need food it’s dinner time I can fix you food! Did you start January 1st, oh my gosh you are like half way there! Has it been hard you seem like you’ve been okay and even enjoying it…”. When she finally stopped to catch her breath I laughed and caught her up on the past 16 days.  Mean while my brother stands off in the background slowly whittling away at a piece of pound cake that clearly wasn’t meant for him.  He was making super thin slices so as to not make the amount missing noticeable.  So I gave him a hard time about it at which that point he tried to give me some in his weird quirky way demanding I try it or his wife’s feelings would be forever hurt.  She was ready to knock him upside the head with a frying pan while trying to defend me and my whole 30. I’m laughing so hard st the two of them, I finally had to tell my SIL not to kill him he was just making me stronger by testing my resolve and I knew had I reached for the slice he would have quickly popped it in his mouth and said to me around the crumbs “you can’t have any you are on a whole 30”.  So it was funny, but you know what I didn’t even desire to try it, not in that moment because my goals mean so much more than that piece of cake.

3:00am we are finally heading out!  Oh good ness who knew packing up food for 3-4 days would be so mentally challenging.  I have the mini quiche, sautéed cabbage with bacon.  Fixings for turkey blt wraps, salad greens, ranch chicken salad, sweet and sour chicken with cauliflower, ranch, raspberry lemon vinaigrette, mayo and mustard, fresh veggies carrots broccoli cauliflower and red bell peppers, grapes, apples, clementines, pistachios, Rx bars, and beef sticks.  I’m going to totally rock this weekend.  

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Day 17 on the road

i got some sleep in the truck and woke up to a gorgeous sunrise.  We stopped for gas and food.  I am soooo glad I packed up food, and  most of it in quick grab n go containers.  I ordered his food and was able to get out food for me before he was done with pumping gas and the bathroom.  

8:00 M1: ranch chicken salad, apple, handful of pistachios 

Years ago my family owned a quaint little tea and coffee café.  I loved my little café and one of the three chicken salads I made was ranch chicken salad.  Such an easy recipe but also so robust with flavor it was a big hit with the customers.  Everything but the ranch is compliant so I decided to give it a try with the ranch I made.  It did not disappoint.  If you are curious the salad includes shredded chicken (this recipe is worthy of the time it takes to boil and then shred the chicken, don’t use the can chicken trust me) grapes halved, crushed pineapple, pecans (or other nut or not it’s your choice) compliant ranch, salt and pepper.  

So my hubby decided to partake of some of the grapes that was in with my apple (I offered). He also joined me in munching on pistachios.  How did I not know he liked pistachios?  I love that he allows me to provide a little influence.  I’ve said it before I don’t expect him to change nor would I try to change him, but if my offering leads to a good food in his body because he wants it then that’s a good thing.  He was so sweet when I handed him his food from the stop, he looked in the bag and then back at me
Almost sad and asked where my food was.  I held up my food containers I had got out and said here.  He asked if there was anyplace he could go get me something I wanted, to which I replied “I have what I want right here.”  This is a big NSV! I am an Obliger and I feel awful turning down his offers for food and treats etc even when I really don’t want it.  So for me to turn down his offer and be okay with it in the moment is a great thing.  Yesterday while prepping all my food, he said with all sincerity “you don’t have to do all this I’ll go find you food you can have while we are away. I don’t want you to struggle.“. I smiled and reminded him that I would need to eat three meals a day and there was not any way we could get away that often to find food for me.  I assured him prepping my food was not a burden that I was enjoying the time in the kitchen.  I also commented that sometimes the struggles are not all bad, the caterpillar struggles to become a butterfly and that it is a beautiful thing.  I know he doesn’t necessarily understand me, but he loves me and supports me so I guess I’ll keep him.  Ha ha. 

 

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12:30 we arrived at destination and thank goodness cuz I had to peeeeeeee plus I’m so thirsty but I dare not drink more water until we made our destination.  

1:00 S1: Rx bar, beef stick, grapes 

We got unloaded and set up the booth, I plugged in the hot logic with my lunch and grabbed a snack because I’m hungry and lunch will be 30 min to 3 hours depending on business.  

3:00 M2: LO sweet and sour chicken with cauliflower rice.  Yum, still so good even the next day.

Phew I’m full and ready for a nap, but I’m enjoying my time next to the hubby.  

6:00 S2: clementine and pistachios.  

It’s not ideal but the food is compliant and I am in an unusual circumstance and I’m coping and making the best choices my surroundings allow me to currently make.  It has been so slow.  They put the vendors off in a tiny closet of a room in the back of the hotel.  My husband started going out to the lobby where all the people were hanging out just to let people know that there were vendors.  There are a lot of people pretty upset about the vending situation today.  My hubby did manage to strum up some business for us and some of the other vendors.  

I get back to my room thinking I’ll have a blt roll up noooo my turkey meat froze in the little fridge along with most of my other food.  I put some quiche and cabbage in my hot logic and plugged it in.  Moved the meats to the door and will hope for the best. Time for a nap.

11:00 M3:  2 Turkey BL-no T wraps (Lettuce, avocado, turkey slice, bacon, mayo, spicy mustard, red bells

Oh this day keeps presenting its own challenges.  I had plugged food in to eat when I got up, and it was unplugged and cold.   At least the turkey had mostly defrosted and wasn’t a solid piece of ice, unlike my tomatoes.  The wraps were tastier than I expected and very filling.  I ate them as we headed to the rink to skate and vend.  Hopefully we can make some more sales tonight as the vending earlier was a joke.  We typically are not allowed to set up in a rink because they feel we are direct competition to their skate shop that isn’t typically open for these parties nor do they sell the same products that we carry.  So vending at a rink should be interesting.  

 

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Day 18 Holdfast

5:15 am M1: LO 2 mini quiche and sautéed cabbage with bacon.  Ranch dressing

Finally finished and back at the room.  My food was hot and perfectly moist even though it had been sitting for 5 hours waiting on me to come eat it.  I love my hot logic mini.  The ranch was a nice way to change up the flavors as I was getting board with the quiche.  Oh the hotel lobby smelled of pancakes and bacon and sausage and eggs.  It’s a good thing I brought food with me, I may not have been able to resist that free breakfast.  I’m so tired I’m ready to hit the shower and crash for a few hours before we have to get up and set up for vending.  

11:00 am rise and grind time to hustle.  Got up dressed, washed my dishes and packed up 2 meals and some snacks and got on the road to go vend in 45 minutes.  

Vending outside at a park today and they are smoking a turkey for lunch.  Oh man does it smell good

12:45 M2 Turkey Bacon lettuce roll ups with avocado mayo and spicy mustard.  

The weather here is amazing 80F a slight breeze and sunshine!  I’m glad we get to be outside even though vending outside  presents it’s own issues.  Today’s been better for business, and definitely more enjoyable.

4:00 S1: grapes and a handful of pistachios 

7:00 M3: ranch chicken salad, salad greens and raspberry lemon dressing.  

We left the park vending spot right at dark.  It was a long day but better.  We had to stop and buy a gallon of water because I ran out of water.   I ate once we got back to the hotel room.  I also ordered food for hubby.  I have to admit the food on the menu sounded mighty tasty… but I’m glad I'm sticking to my whole 30 and I was quite content with my meal.  My hubby ran down to the snack corner and bought Pringle’s because he needed the can for mounting skates, and he brought back a bag of gummy bears.  Often my candy of choice.  It made me feel special that he thought of me and I told him that.  He asked if I wanted any and I told him not at the moment but he was welcome to have some.  A few minutes later he looked up from his work with the most forlorn look and said you can’t eat those can you.  I smiled and said oh I could, but I just chose not to until January is over.  He apologized and I told him not to because I love the fact that he thought of me and bought me my favorite candy.  He shook his head and said I don’t know how you do it.  I smiled and shrugged my shoulders.  

Now to get a little rest before vending tonight at the rink.  

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Day 18 cont

11:00 pm rise and shine time to hustle.  I’m so grateful for the energy my body is providing me with the nutrients from the food I’ve been providing it.  These work weekends I used to live on on sundrop sodas.  I have not even had an Once of caffeine.  Water and real food has been enough to keep me going.  I am eating more snacks than usual, but given my circumstances I think that is okay.  One last push before it all comes to a close tomorrow

12:30 S2 clementine.  

NSV: my pants are loose and keep sliding down.. And I forgot my belt so annoying but in a good way.  

1:45am S3 Rx Bar

I made a snack bar run for the hubby while he was working on people’s skates.  I grabbed him a pizza and soda and me a water.  Heading back to the booth, my tired brain started saying “ooooh pizza”. So I grabbed my emergency RX bar to keep the crazies at bay.  

6:00 am - back at the hotel and ready to crash.  

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Day 19 The drive and energy... lots of energy!

 

10:30 am check out time so I have to pull myself out from under the covers.  Packed up, washed dishes, and heated up some breakfast and headed out the door.  It’s not over yet, but I feel like my weekend has gone really well doing Whole 30.  I’m so glad I took the time and effort to prepare meals.  It really has made all the difference. I’m bored with my food at this point, but that is okay I just have to survive through today.  

11:30 M1: 2 mini quiche, avocado mixed with ranch dressing and a clementine.

love is holding your hubbys mcdonalds fries and sauce for his nuggets so he can easily access them to eat while driving, while on a whole 30. That is love! 

4:00 S1: clementine and pistachios

The drive back has been good so far, and pretty weather.  During the drive my hubby asked if I had any more pistachios.  I also offered him gummies, chocolate, chips or clementine and he chose a clementine.  Who is this and what has he done with my husband.  Lol so we shared a snack on the road and it made it me smile.  

7:00 M2: ranch chicken salad, salad greens, raspberry lemon dressing, broccoli florets, red bell pepper sticks, carrots with ranch.

We stopped for gas and I took advantage to dig food out… I was so hungry!  I totally expected the Hubby to complain about the smell, because that’s what he does.  He didn’t and I find that very sweet of him.  It’s little things like that, that I’ve learned to recognize as support and I thank him for it. 

I am excited for the possibilities this year holds.  I am turning 40 and I plan on making it the best decade yet.  Maybe I’ll have another baby maybe I won’t, maybe I’ll travel more maybe I won’t but the one thing I know for certain is I’m reclaiming my health!  I will be kind to me, I will love me, I will take joy in taking care of me.

Phew we made it to the skate session 9 hours back, 2 hours late due to the interstate being shut down.  Luckily we caught it and was able to avoid it.  The skate session was incredible.  My hubby really brought the music tonight.  Definitely one of his better DJ sets.  That was a hard drive after long hours of vending, but definitely worth it.  I skated my booty off and loved every minute of it.

12:00 am M3: Grilled chicken and steamed vegetables

So we went to another one of our favorite places that we go to after this set.  I ordered with confidence asking a few questions and making some request.  The chef did an amazing job and the food was delicious.  It wasn’t their house club or the 1/2 rack of ribs I used to order but it was still delicious.  

1:30am finally home gonna shower and hit the hey.  I survived this weekend whole 30 compliant.  I am impressed with me!

 

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Day 20 how is this even possible!  2/3 of the way, the home stretch.

7:30 am phone call from my mom woke me up.  She’s hurt her back, so I guess it’s up and at em so I can get the kids and take her to see her chiropractor.  So much for sleeping until 10:00.  I’m awake and waiting for her to tell me appointment time so I took the opportunity to rub essential oils on the hubby and try to work out some nots from the drive.  

8:30 S1: RXBar, beef stick

Ugh to go from 80 and sunshine to 20 and snowing is a bit harsh.  So much for having time for breakfast.  I did grab my last beef stick, RXBar and some pistachios.  All the other food is gone.  Headed to the big city to take my mom to the doctor.  Maybe I’ll take advantage of this and stop by sprouts and pick up some compliant bacon and sausage for this week.  I can’t believe this is day 20.  I’ve started reading food freedom book.  Reading the intro I felt that anxiety build up in my chest of all the what if’s… normally I would shut down and walk away from all the overwhelming thoughts and feelings until I was ready to process those things, but this time I allowed myself to ask what if.., and almost always answered the question with .., “then I restart” the more I said it the further into the what if’s I went the more the tightness in my chest relaxed until it was gone. I was then able to continue reading and answering any more what if’s with “then I restart.”

1:30 S2:Banana and pistachios 

 I bought the boys lunch to eat on the road.  I stopped at sprouts.  They were out of compliant sausage but I did get some bacon and some compliant deli meat. Oh and some bananas because the baby said “A-Nana Pweeeaa”. How could I not buy him a banana.  I decided to eat one of his bananas instead of another RX bar.  My truck is not running right and has me a little stressed out.  Going to pick up the dog and then run the truck over to a guy my husband trust to check it out.  

Well the truck has to go in the shop and I am finally getting home at 4:30 after leaving out at 8:30.  I drove over 4 hours today, and I have 6 hours worth of work to do before I can rest.  Today definitely did not go as planned.

M1 5:00 sweet sour chicken with steamed broccoli with clarified butter.

I was so very happy when I opened the fridge to get milk for the baby and saw my sweet and sour chicken left overs waiting there for me!  I steamed a bag of broccoli and heated up half the leftovers.  I put the other half in a dish with half of the broccoli for lunch Wednesday. I enjoyed every bite.  I was so hungry!

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Day 21 

7:55 The baby alarm went off and the day begins. My brain is still lagging just a bit from the weekend of little sleep.  But food helped.  I got baby fed and made some work calls as I started breakfast.

9:30 2 bacon strips, 3 eggs scrambled with salt pepper and basil cooked in the bacon grease 1/2 naval orange. 

Oh my those were by far the best eggs ever.  How can this even be good for me cooking in bacon grease! Ha ha.  And a diet that allows me bacon and doesn’t require  me to blot all the grease off is one that I’m quickly beginning to love.  I really enjoyed breakfast this morning.  I have every intention of eating the whole orange, but I got full so I stopped and then offered the rest to my older boys who didn’t hesitate to scoop up a treasure such as an already peeled orange.  Today will be a day of prep for the rest of the week. Laundry, food, cleaning the house, etc.  It is nice to be home.

Changing my mindset about the fact that food is amoral, it is neither good or bad.  My relationship with food is not the foods fault.  Just like my relationship with a brick and what I choose to do with it does not make the brick good or bad.  I could use the brick to build a hospital or I could throw it through a window, my choices are not a reflection of the brick, it is a reflection of me.  I can use food to nourish me, or use it to escape my problems it is not a reflection of the food it is a reflection of me.  The foods that are currently side lined are not bad foods, they are just unknown.  They will not be unknown forever.  In about ten days time I will begin to explore, well within the safety nets of what I have learned during my whole 30 experiment, the unknown foods to see what my body’s relationship to them are and can be.   15 days ago that thought was overwhelming!  But the more time that passes the better adapted I become in mind and body.  It’s still intimidating, there are still some concerns that cause my chest to tighten just a little, but I am not facing those today, and I am confident that 10 days from now I will have learned that much more about me, my triggers, my true desires about health and the part that food plays there.  

12:45 M2: Cajun kielbasa, potatoes, and green beans.  

This pressure cooker meal is so good y’all!  Seriously easy and super tasty.  My boys all love it!  If you’d like the recipe I posted it on my IG account along with pictures as I can’t post pictures on the forum anymore.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B7mBZeogtfN/?igshid=1ug494jsw73ef

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Day 21 Cont

6:00 S1: shared an Rx Chocolate cherry bar with the baby.

Trying to do all the things and still sitting behind the eight ball.  There is just not enough time in the day, but at least my energy is a bit more stable and sustainable.  I have got a lot done today, there is just so much more to do, so a quick inventory to reset my feelings of being overwhelmed.  Unloaded suitcases and did laundry from the trip, including folding and putting away.  I also folded the three loads I left that I had done while packing.  I kept a baby alive who is into everything and have had a successful day with potty training! I Changed beds and washed the linens and folded and put away.  I cleared off my headboard and cleaned out from under the bed and tidied up the room and vacuumed.  Made breakfast did dishes, made lunch and did dishes.  As well as the couple dishes from the trip.  Tore down boxes for to take to the dump. Okay, I guess I did get a few things done.  Off to the grocery store to get some bare necessities.  

9:30 M3: hamburger wrapped in lettuce topped with BBQ sauce, mayo and tomatoes.  Hmmm it was good.  

May try cooking it in bacon grease next time.  At the grocery store a beautiful bouquet of flowers caught my eye.  I found myself saying I never get flowers I really like flowers they make me smile but seems like such a waste because you don’t eat them they die in about a week.  I wondered why would someone pay money for flowers, but their beauty and smell still makes me smile.  While finishing my shopping I reflected on my thoughts and asked myself does a pure and simple smile not hold any value?  I decided it does, a smile does hold value, and something that genuinely makes me happy is worth $12.00 even if I can’t eat it, and will throw away the remains in a few days.  So I invested in my happiness tonight.  This wasn’t an I “deserve this purchase”, it was a purchase that came out of my fun/blow money, and it was an “I love you just because purchase”.  I am learning to be kind to me. 

Meal planning (term used loosely) I realized I only have 9 days left and I got sad and then almost panicked as there are still a bunch of recipes I hadn’t tried yet... then I had to stop myself and smile.  Silly caterpillar even when this 30 day experiment is done you can still make all these grand recipes you have been finding and saving, you do not have to make them all in the next 9 days.  I have a lifetime ahead of me to enjoy and explore delicious real food recipes.  I will say this, if nothing else came of this 30 days it certainly pulled me out of a rut in the kitchen or lack there of.  I’ve relied very little on fast food and take out even for feeding the boys and that is a big win in my book.  Also to be able to function without my caffeine has also been a impressive feat.  I’m so glad I finally pushed through and just started this restart.  It has had its challenges, but i think my resolve to see it through and to not even consider a slip started in my mind.  I could not have done this with a mindset of missing out on all the things.  I could not rid my surroundings of the junk food.  The chocolate Hershey pies are sitting right beside the frozen cauliflower rice, the chips are next to the chicken stock and coconut milk and so on.  I knew if I was going to be successful at continuing the healthy habits I had to be able to do this even with all the other stuff within easy access.  I had to want this more than the cheese, bread, chips, sugar, etc.  I decided jumping in that I did want the whole 30 more and I have chosen to not give the forbidden unknown food a second thought, or to entertain the fleeting thoughts of the non-compliant rather I am letting them role on by.  I have tried to focus on all the new recipes and foods to explore, and have been surprisingly yet pleasantly shocked at the amount of diversity and sheer volume of recipes available.  This was certainly not the case 11 years ago when I had to do an anti-inflammatory/elimination diet on my own for my sons healing.  I am so thankful for this forum and the people here that check in with me.  It helps to know others are in the battle with you.  

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Day 22 

6:55: up with the baby alarm, my eyes are still heavy. Glad I checked the dryer, my clothes were still a bit damp.  Restart that, get boys up and start getting everything ready to get out the door.  

8:00 M1: 3 scrambled eggs coked in clarified butter (CB) an apple and some almond butter.  

Breakfast was eaten in two parts - eggs while they were hot and in between packing lunches, and the apples and almond butter on the road. On top of it being Wednesday a naturally stressful morning, I went to grab a roast out of the deep freezer and everything is defrosted, cold but not frozen!  Omg I do not have time for this.  We had to rearrange a bunch of things  to get meat into the fridge.  We will be eating a lot of venison the next few days! 

1st meet up was good.  I had to keep the boys with me as my mom is out of town so that always proves to provide its own challenges.  Baby was well behaved and did great with going potty on his potty and not his diaper.  Only one time this morning was his diaper a little wet when I took him potty.  He’s really made a lot of progress this past month.  

Stopped at my moms to eat my lunch and let baby nap.  My second appt canceled or postponed because of the kids.  They had everyone in today which means they were already crowded so we will be back out here Saturday.

1:30 M2: ranch chicken salad (the last of it) and some salad greens with the raspberry lemon dressing.

Oh the chicken salad is so good, but I realized I was getting full and I have stopped just a few bites shy of finishing it.  I NEVER do that.  What is coming over me.  I’m always a “stuff it all in until it hurts and even then you could still fit two more bites if that’s all you have left kind” of gal.  So recognizing I’m full and stopping is a big NSV for me.  Seeing as I don’t have to work this afternoon I’m going to see my chiropractor.

I’m so glad we got down to see Dr J!  Even the boys were declaring how much better they feel after their adjustment.  Baby wasn’t all too convinced though.  Lol I remember when the older boys were little I used to tell them die quietly because of all the loud noises they would make during their adjustment.  I feel like I’m taller and all the weight/stress I was carrying on my shoulders has been shed.  

I got to spend some time in sprouts. They had my favorite apple the honey crisp on sale so I bought a few.  I also picked up a spaghetti squash and some compliant tomato sauce.  I may even try my hand at making a compliant ketchup this weekend.  

When I picked up 13 yr DS from his student bible study I offered to get him anything he wanted for food.  Oh goodness it’s the first time I’ve wanted to rip something away from someone and stuff it in my face.  He gets his love of pizza from his momma!  I really should have packed a snack even though I was trying to avoid snacking.

9:45 S1: Archer beef stick, a few blackberries and 2 pickle spears.

  I was so tired when I got home there was just nothing left of me.  I got baby pottied changed and in bed made sure food got put away.  I was so hungry but I just didn’t have it in me to even microwave something.  I was headed to bed and decided I shouldn’t ignore my hunger at least not tonight. So I skipped the Rx bar and grabbed the other stuff instead.  I’m going to soak in a hot bath and call it a day!
 

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7:00 rise and shine time to get everyone going.  Get baby up, potty changed and fed. Get lunches packed and breakfast together while boys pack the truck.  I love our homeschool tutorial but it does make for a long day.  Plus we have to rush off to a college about an hour away for my 13 yr DS speech competition.  

7:30 M1: 3 eggs salt pepper basil coked in CB, blackberries, and 1 Tbs coconut oil.

For the first time in a long time I had a very weird and vivid dream.  It was so weird and not like me.  Forgetting appointments, shirking responsibilities and I found a box of left over baby shower cake and I went to get a fork and my husband woke me up.  

I don’t think I’ve been getting enough water in so back to tracking that.  Tracking helps me be more aware of my need to drink water.  

12:30 M2: sweet and sour chicken with broccoli

I enjoyed lunch and visiting with the other moms today at our community day.  One of the moms announced she is pregnant.  It was so exciting!  I don’t know that I’ll be blessed with one more, but man did that make a tiny bit of hope and longing well up inside of me.

7:00 M3: lemon pepper steamed shrimp, baked potato with ranch and gold BBQ sauce, steamed broccoli.

My 13 yr DS had his speech competition he did great!  He was so nervous but he overcame those fears and knocked it out of the park.  By the time we were done I was hungry! He wanted Papa Johns, and this made me think twice about this whole 30 gig.  I am beginning to think I don’t have a sugar dragon I have a pizza demon lol.  I couldn’t think about it I couldn’t even consider what it will be like to eat it again when I choose to. No! I had to think about something else anything else.  I think this may have made me a bit cranky or hangry by the time I got home, but I was okay once I sat down to my food which was delicious by the way.  

Survived day 23 by sheer will power at the end lol

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Day 24, steady as she goes.

So today was weird and rough.  I slept in a little.  Felt a little blah when I finally did get up.  I was told not to drive my truck as it symptoms indicates a small problem that could create a much larger problem.  This seem to overload my brain as I tried to figure out how everyone is going to get to where they need to be without my vehicle.  Things have worked out.  My sister in love called me needing some essential oils for her little girl that had fallen ill and we talked and afterwards she offered to send her vehicle via my brother seeing as she wouldn’t be going any where this weekend with her daughter being sick.  I had just felt off all day so I did take a nap and that helped.  I didn’t really have much of a appetite all day either until about 4:00, then I wanted to eat all the things.  I didn’t though.  I enjoyed my food I did eat today.  I spent some time last night foraging inspiring recipes.  I bought the whole 30 slow cooker book and made a roast from that today…. Surprisingly delicious!  I got some chicken tenderloin cut up and marinating in pickle juice to make chicken nuggets tomorrow.    Oh and I made ketchup tonight from the stuff I picked up at sprouts on Wednesday.  I used the recipe from 40aprons.com because well no dates!  And it was really good.  I am a condiment Queen! I purposefully didn’t buy or make ketchup in the beginning because well I would have hated it, and still would have slathered it on everything. I wanted to give my taste buds time to reset.  I notice the past few days that flavors are deeper and brighter so my taste buds are beginning to appreciate foods for their flavor rather than the added sugar.  The ketchup tasted great, even my 11 yr DS said it wasn’t half bad.  I’m so excited I’m going to have burgers this week and now I have some ketchup and mayo to go with it.  Happy dance!  

9:30 is M1/s1: 3 slices of bacon and 2 pickles (bacon and pickles could easily be my food without brakes if I’m not mindful)

3:30 s2: Rx bar chocolate cherry, archer turkey rosemary stick.  driving my brother home after he brought me the car.  He lives 40 minutes from me so I grabbed a snack Incase I got hungry, and I did.

6:30 M2: 2 turkey BLT lettuce wraps with mayo and spices mustard…. So good!

9:00 M3: Mustard braised venison roast with carrots and potatoes.  Adapted slightly from the mustard braised brisket with potatoes and cabbage in the Whole 30 Slow Cooker Meals book.

Ending my crazy day with a bubble bath next to my beautiful flowers I bought earlier this week.  

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7 hours ago, BabyBear said:

Day 24, steady as she goes.

So today was weird and rough.  I slept in a little.  Felt a little blah when I finally did get up.  I was told not to drive my truck as it symptoms indicates a small problem that could create a much larger problem.  This seem to overload my brain as I tried to figure out how everyone is going to get to where they need to be without my vehicle.  Things have worked out.  My sister in love called me needing some essential oils for her little girl that had fallen ill and we talked and afterwards she offered to send her vehicle via my brother seeing as she wouldn’t be going any where this weekend with her daughter being sick.  I had just felt off all day so I did take a nap and that helped.  I didn’t really have much of a appetite all day either until about 4:00, then I wanted to eat all the things.  I didn’t though.  I enjoyed my food I did eat today.  I spent some time last night foraging inspiring recipes.  I bought the whole 30 slow cooker book and made a roast from that today…. Surprisingly delicious!  I got some chicken tenderloin cut up and marinating in pickle juice to make chicken nuggets tomorrow.    Oh and I made ketchup tonight from the stuff I picked up at sprouts on Wednesday.  I used the recipe from 40aprons.com because well no dates!  And it was really good.  I am a condiment Queen! I purposefully didn’t buy or make ketchup in the beginning because well I would have hated it, and still would have slathered cinnamon chips on everything. I wanted to give my taste buds time to reset.  I notice the past few days that flavors are deeper and brighter so my taste buds are beginning to appreciate foods for their flavor rather than the added sugar.  The ketchup tasted great, even my 11 yr DS said it wasn’t half bad.  I’m so excited I’m going to have burgers this week and now I have some ketchup and mayo to go with it.  Happy dance!  

9:30 is M1/s1: 3 slices of bacon and 2 pickles (bacon and pickles could easily be my food without brakes if I’m not mindful)

3:30 s2: Rx bar chocolate cherry, archer turkey rosemary stick.  driving my brother home after he brought me the car.  He lives 40 minutes from me so I grabbed a snack Incase I got hungry, and I did.

6:30 M2: 2 turkey BLT lettuce wraps with mayo and spices mustard…. So good!

9:00 M3: Mustard braised venison roast with carrots and potatoes.  Adapted slightly from the mustard braised brisket with potatoes and cabbage in the Whole 30 Slow Cooker Meals book.

Ending my crazy day with a bubble bath next to my beautiful flowers I bought earlier this week.  

This is awesome! Great work! :)

24 days and counting. I pretty much registered to say good job. Following.

Keep up the good work.

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Day 25 staying alive, staying alive

7:00 rise up with alarm.  Thank you Mother Nature for your gift *insert eye roll*. That explains my mood yesterday.  

8:30 M1 Chicken nuggets from 40 Aprons along with the dipping sauce and a salad.  
https://www.instagram.com/p/B7vzDobgeOK/?igshid=tbu0us82p374

Oh my were the chicken nuggets good.  A lot of work but really good.  The sauce! The sauce was amazing, I even used it on my salad.
https://40aprons.com/whole30-chicken-nuggets-chick-fil-a/

1:45 M2: Mustard braised roast with potatoes and carrots.  

The boys had their first archery tournament today.  I knew we would get back hungry and I would pass by lots of eateries and possibly even concessions so I put the roast I made yesterday in the crock pot and put it on warm.  Knowing I had yummy compliant hot food ready for me when I got home made all the difference in my ability to say no to all the other “options” especially as my kids begged for food from the concessions.  Even though they were bummed about no concession food they did enjoy the roast quite a bit.  I also had managed to get all the dishes cleaned before we left out this morning.  It helped I had the dishes from yesterday done.  That is a big NSV for me, having enough energy after eating to get dishes done and not just become a sloth with a bloated tummy.  

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6 hours ago, jennyrony said:

24 days and counting. I pretty much registered to say good job. Following.

Congrats on your journey too.  Thanks for the encouragement.  I have found journaling on the boards super helpful to me.  It gives me a sense of accountability as I’m very much an Obliger.  

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Day 25 cont

My hubby gave me great advice today and I took him up on it.  He told me to sleep when the baby sleeps.  So I got an hour nap and it was wonderful.  I allowed myself to rest.  No alarms, no phone, no thoughts.  Just me, the bed and my heat pad.  I woke feeling better. The world didn’t end, and I dealt with the missed calls and messages without stress.  

7:00 M3: Turkey BLT rollup with mayo and spicy mustard.  

Feeling a bit frustrated that my truck did not get done today, it didn’t  even get looked at.  I’m quite possibly going to be without a vehicle for the first part of the week.  Grrr.  So I guess I’m going shopping tonight while I have my brothers car.

11:30 S1: raspberries

I decided to go to the store after baby went down for the night.  It’s a catch 22, I get to shop uninterrupted  but it’s so late!  I had to go to Walmart for  supplies for boys projects. I hate shopping, and I really hate shopping at Walmart.  Normally a shopping trip like this would mean a snickers bar and a sundrop to reward me for not killing anyone. Tonight I did not even consider it, but I was feeling hunger in my belly so I grabbed the raspberries I bought and decided I would eat all of them because I deserved it.  Funny thing is I was about a handful in and decided that was enough, I was satisfied and It stopped the growling stomach.  It’s like I don’t even know who I am any more.  I’m enjoying reading food freedom and beginning to really put some thought into what that is going to be like.  

NSV: getting ready for bed I pulled off my pants  without thinking and realized I was wearing jeans and they came down easily without unbuttoning them.  Oops

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Day 26 the home stretch!

7:00 up with alarm and baby was up shortly thereafter.  Got up and get my morning going.  I really just want to lay in bed with my heating pad all day.  However I’m at least able to function.  When normally with this TOM I’m in so much pain that I literally can’t function and I’m often borderline going into shock.  I have a very high tolerance for pain.  I’ve had three natural births and all of those are nothing in comparison to the pain my body is in from my cycle.  Ugh! So even though I’m uncomfortable and very bloated I’m glad the pain is manageable and not debilitating today.  

8:15 M1 - 3 eggs with oregano and basil cooked in bacon fat. 1tbs of my homemade whole 30 ketchup. Raspberries and blackberries.  Hot lemon water.

Oh I had ketchup on my eggs… how I so missed this. Granted I can now enjoy my eggs with out a condiment if I so choose, but the ketchup was a nice addition.  I honestly wouldn’t have appreciated it at the beginning of the month, but now as my taste buds shift I found the homemade ketchup quite tasty. 

I just have to make it through to this afternoon and then perhaps I can rest a little.  I’m learning to be kind to myself and recognize that my body is doing a hard thing right now it’s requiring so much energy that I just don’t have much to spare.  Instead of feeling frustrated at my inability to function I’m having some compassion for me and trying to give myself room to  do less while my body is working through an internal molting.  

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Isn’t it funny how your taste changes so quickly? You aren’t depending on that added sugar in everything (seriously everything!!) and appreciating the flavors of real food more. I’ve noticed the same thing recently. Also, a very good reminder to be kind to yourself and your body, I had uterine fibroids and they made my TOM so awful. Rest as much as you can and try to eat if you can stomach it (especially bananas!). Good luck to you, finish strong!!

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Day 26 cont

I survived, sort of.  The boys ate all the left over roast and I was so slammed with number crunching I didn’t stop to eat.  I asked them if there was any food left, their answer was yeah I think there is some of the meat left… I checked and it was microscopic pieces at best.  Oh well at least they enjoyed it.  

5:00 M2: sirloin steak and steamed broccoli with some olive oil salt and pepper.

My hubby picked us up from dropping off my brothers car and asked where I could eat.  I picked a place I know we all enjoy.  When we sat down and once I had baby settled the hubby asked if I was done with my diet yet.  I said no it last through January, I no longer correct him when he says diet.  He looked sad, when I asked why he said oh no reason don’t worry about it.  Then I saw it out of the corner of my eye.  A fresh huge coconut cream cake (we would typically get a piece to share at home.  So as we were ordering I was last and at the end of my crazy requests I asked for a slice of the cake to go “for someone very special”  he tried to protest saying he didn’t want to do that to me, and I reminded him he wasn’t doing anything to me because I was the one that ordered it.  It gave me sheer delight to bring him his cake and milk later tonight after we had everyone in bed.  We snuggled as he ate his cake and we watched a little tv.  My brain at first said you should go grab the berries so you don’t feel left out.  I stopped and asked the questions I’ve been learning and decided I didn’t really need to eat anything to feel included and that felt freeing!

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21 hours ago, lizziehall said:

Isn’t it funny how your taste changes so quickly? You aren’t depending on that added sugar in everything (seriously everything!!) and appreciating the flavors of real food more. I’ve noticed the same thing recently. Also, a very good reminder to be kind to yourself and your body, I had uterine fibroids and they made my TOM so awful. Rest as much as you can and try to eat if you can stomach it (especially bananas!). Good luck to you, finish strong!!

Yes on the tastebuds it’s like they woke up from a long slumber.  Food is finally interesting again. 

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Day 27... wait did I read that right, how did this go by so fast!

6:00 up and at em.  It felt good to go through my morning routine not rushed.  My skin is really beginning to shine.  A few NSV my pants are very loose.  The pregnancy mask is almost completely gone.  I notice faint markings still but I doubt any one else will.  I have very little redness left in my T-Zone, just some pink near my nose and on the end my cheek bone.  Pores are tighter and 80% of the black heads on chin and nose area are cleared up.  I only had one raised pimple on my jaw line with the onset of  that TOM.  Also no breakouts on my chest or shoulders.  I’m on my last belt hole, that’s 5 belt hole difference!  I noticed after putting my belt on, there is a noticeable fold/buckle in the back of my pants.  I have to journal these because I keep thinking I am imagining these things.  I have functional energy in the midst of the most difficult time of my month.  I’m not hitting snooze a thousand times in the morning.  I get up looking forward to my day rather than dreading it.  I’m getting creativity in the kitchen back! I am really enjoying food and it’s many taste that get masked by all the sugar and junk in prepared foods.  

7:40 S1: Rx bar blueberry and archer beef stick

Oops my 11 yr DS woke up and asked if I could help him proof read and check his spelling for his 4-H minutes.  So I missed my chance at breakfast, I was so hungry so to keep myself from being tempted I grabbed the Rx bar and beef stick for the road. It helped.

12:40 M2: teriyaki venison roast with fresh pineapple a top teriyaki sautéed vegetables on a bed of mixed greens with evoo drizzle

I was going to make cauliflower rice to go with lunch but alas I had none.  Then I remembered I had some raw broccoli cauliflower and carrots that needed to be eaten.  I sautéed them in olive oil and then steamed with a little pineapple juice, sprinkled with ginger and some coconut amino to finish off.  Totally impromptu and completely delicious!  Even my kids liked the veggies.  For the roast I adapted the teriyaki pork recipe from whole 30 slow cooker book and I made it in my pressure cooker. Next time with venison I will probably sear the meat and cook maybe 1/3 of the time as I like my meat to still be very pink. It was still amazing!  I got the dishes done just in time to get baby and I ready and out the door to go get my 13 yr DS from his class.  During lunch my 11 yr old with all the food allergies thanked me for doing the whole 30 “because even though you can’t have a lot of things like rice and stuff, you have still made some absolutely amazing new food this month and I really hope you keep making the new recipes.”  … that there is my biggest NSV! I have happy tears.

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