Very hungry mommy 1st Time whole 30 Jan 2020

[BabyBear]

Day 27 cont

We had to take my hubbys truck to the big city to drop it off for a repair.  So we decided to make it a semi date night.  Before we left I got dinner made for the boys and got the baby fed.   I am finding part of my issue is I put things in my mouth mindlessly.  It’s like I’ve been stuck in the Duldrums from the book The Phantom Tollbooth and the Whole 30 is helping me escape by thinking because obviously thinking is what is required to escape the Duldrums.  I keep catching myself going to be mindless and I feel like Tock the watch dog is yelling at me “Think! Think! Think!”  I’ve been wandering around in a fog of thoughtlessness and the less you think the deeper you go and the harder it is to think. The good news is it just takes one thought then another and another until you are clearing the fog and escaping the Duldrums.  Thinking is hard work but the more I do it the easier it becomes and the more capacity for thinking I have.  I keep worrying now that surely this whole 30 thing can’t be this easy I must be goofing it up somehow, but no it was hard and required most of my thoughts in the beginning because it was so very new.  I’ve found a rhythm to it now and keeping compliant foods on hand has made it feel easier this past week.  It’s still work, but not as daunting as it was in the beginning.

9:00 M3 - grilled chicken, steamed broccoli, mixed green salad with carrots tomato egg olive oil and lemon juice.

We went to one of our favorite places mainly because we knew they had large booths and I had a hunch that baby was going to sleep through our dinner, and he did.  The waiter thought I was crazy when I asked for olive oil and lemons for my salad.  With a little salt and pepper it made for a fresh tasting delicious salad.  We enjoyed our meal.  I stopped when I was full eating only half the chicken breast it was huge two Palm sizes.  My hubby was concerned it wasn’t good.  I assured him it was I was just full and didn’t need to eat anymore.  Learning to stop because I’m full and satisfied is still a little foreign to me but it’s becoming easier to do.  

[heb2014]

52 minutes ago, BabyBear said:

 The waiter thought I was crazy when I asked for olive oil and lemons for my salad.  With a little salt and pepper it made for a fresh tasting delicious salad.  

Good grief - I am not creative enough. I can't remember how many times during my round 1 I ate salad with no dressing because none of the options were complaint. Olive oil and lemons - this is so smart!

And what you said a couple of posts back about your 11yr old with food allergies - I love this! I remember how shocked and happy I was when my 5 yr old ate 2 helpings of my Whole30 meatloaf (150% more than I expected her to eat). It's so nice when you find a new complaint recipe the whole family will/can eat.

 

[BabyBear]

Day 28 and I’m feeling great.

5:55 got up changed baby, went back to bed
 
9:30 baby alarm went off again.  It was nice to sleep in a little.  Now to get the day going.

I made the boys oatmeal for breakfast, and had to be mindful not to taste it to test hotness while I was feeding the baby. 

10:00 M1: Pederson sausage links and a mixed green salad with the “chick-fil-a” dipping sauce as a dressing.  

I intended to make an egg, but ended up being satisfied with the sausage.  Getting work done = baby destroying most of the house

4:00 M2: venison sheet pan fajitas.  With avocado, tomatoes in lettuce leaf wraps.  

These were delicious and the boys helped me make them this time which was a nice surprise.  I enjoy cooking with them and watching them develop their kitchen skills.

After we cleaned up I decided to make another mess.  My hubby has been having a frustrating day and nothing has seem to go his way.  So I decided to make his favorite (mine too) no bake chocolate peanut butter oatmeal cookie.  Talk about being mindful!  I had to really pay attention to not lick the fingertips or clean off the peanut butter spoon with my tongue.  I tossed a towel over my shoulder like I used to do in my commercial kitchen days so that my hand went up to the towel to wipe off rather than my mouth.  They turned out beautifully.  I hope they make him smile when he comes home, he could use a smile today!  I think I’ll go make him a “would you be my valentine card” to put with them.  It’s never to early to ask right?

My 11 yr DS saw the cookies and asked in an overly excited tone, “does this mean you are done with your diet?”  To which I answered no.  He then proceeded to drill me, did you eat any? Did you taste it? Did you lick the spoon? All were answered with No.  He then gave me a huge hug and said “Mom, I’m so proud of you!”  
My hubby did indeed smile when he saw the cookies and also asked if this means the diet thing is over.  I told him no it means I love you.  He even liked my card I made.  After sending the kids to bed we spent our evening snuggling on the couch catching up on some of our shows we enjoy watching together. My brain immediately wanted a snack when I brought my hubby his milk and cookies, but I asked my questions and determined I wasn’t hungry and I didn’t need it to enjoy our time together. It’s been a long day but a good one.  

[BabyBear]

19 hours ago, heb2014 said:

Olive oil and lemons - this is so smart!

Most people ask for oil and vinegar but I’m not a huge fan of vinegar to put it on my salad strait.  But citrus fruits hit the spot for me. So I’ll ask for lemons, limes, and even oranges if they have them.  Even if they don’t have olive oil the citrus fruit helps with the enjoyment of the salad.

yes on when the kids love the food.  My 11 yr old with the allergies LOVES food, so he’s always up for trying new recipes. When my extremely picky 13 yr old eats the food we know it’s an amazing recipe 

[BabyBear]

Day 29 ... a lot of thoughts and emotions

6:00 rise and shine it’s Wednesday and that means a busy day!  I got up 30 minutes earlier then I normally would so I won’t  feel rushed with my morning routine.  Even though I went to bed way to late I still feel rested and alert.  The boys got up willingly and was a big help getting everything out the door.  They are excited to see my mom Yani as she’s been out of town for a week.  

Can I just say I feel terrific today.  I’m smiling for no reason and a bit bubbly and overly chatty.  

“You are so much more than the results of your struggles.”  - FFF Melissa H.
This quote struck a chord with me as I was reading.  I think I disliked myself and was so mean to myself because I saw myself as a failure as a result of my struggles… rather than focusing on those things I have overcome and how I am strong and persistent and never give up, I gave up on me.  Struggles shape us, but it is not that struggle that makes a butterfly a butterfly, its just one aspect of what the caterpillar must go through to metamorphosis.  Even though my struggles have helped shape me, they are not who I am.  I am a constant changing work in progress, and even in that I am exactly who I am in this moment as well.

  Self I am sorry, I am sorry for belittling you and being frustrated with you because I only focused on the negative things that came about from the struggles.  I could only see how you defaulted back to the old ways of eating.  I didn’t recognize that some of the healthy changes you had made stuck, and was being practiced with out effort.  I overlooked the way you pulled yourself up time and time again out of depression to care for your children and others.  How you managed to continue to work and build your business and homeschool your children in the midst of all the pain and frustration and loneliness.  I didn’t give you credit for pushing past the pain of the divorce, the bleak diagnosis of your child’s health, the looming outcome of the other child’s testing, the choosing to get up every day and pressing forward, the never quitting when everyone else seem to be giving up, finding a way when the doctors wouldn’t, providing a beautiful life for your children, supporting other moms who needed the encouragement, and learning to let someone in and love you again.  You are an amazing woman, that has overcome so many odds, you are not a victim, you are more than a survivor, you are more than a conqueror you have risen above the circumstances time and time again.  You are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for.  I am proud of you.  I am inspired by you.  I love you!  Thank you for not giving up on me.  Thank you for fighting for me. Thank you for loving me enough to change when change is needed.  

[BabyBear]

Day 30... someone pinch me! I am shocked that the end of Whole 30 is here, and I’m on the threshold of my Food Freedom!

6:45 up with baby alarm.  It was tempting to just change him and go back to bed, but I think I shall stay up and give myself the gift of loving movement (exercise).

7:20 Exercise: 30 min Beach Body Post Natal Yoga.  

My exercise this morning did not feel as daunting as when I first did that work out at the beginning of the month.  I would say that is an NSV.  

8:15 M1 - 2 eggs with salt and pepper and basil, cooked in bacon grease, topped with a little W30 Ketchup, 2 sausage links, blackberries and 1/2 handful of pistachios. 

Breakfast was tasty, but I couldn’t finish the handful of pistachios because I was full.  It’s encouraging that I’m beginning to feel in tune with my body, and being able to leave food on the plate when I am full is also a huge NSV.  I have always been the one to finish off every bit of food left whether on my plate or someone else’s.  I love food and my brain definitely seeks the reward that food brings.  But I am learning to appreciate more than just that thrill when the food hits the taste buds.  I’m learning to appreciate all aspects, the look, smell, texture, even chewing.  Learning to be mindful of the whole experience rather than just gulping it all down in search of the next tongue thrill.  

Today is Day 30… I am so proud of me for making it this far.  Every time I considered doing a whole 30 the 30 days was so daunting… it was hard to even think about doing.  I just wasn’t ready.  It took me a long time to be ready, really ready to fully commit no looking back, when that happened I was able to do this with a positive attitude and no desire to slip even with all the non compliant foods in the kitchen for the rest of the family.  Ha I even made my husband his cookies, and was completely satisfied in the experience of making them and seeing him light up when he saw the counter full of cookies.  Now I am beginning to think about what my food freedom will look like, feel like, even taste like.  Condiments are a weakness and a way that loads of sugar sneaks into my diet.  I know my food freedom is going to include the new condiments without sugar that I have learned to make and appreciate.  I am excited and nervous about re-intro of the unknown foods.  Ive mapped out the order I’m going to do re-intro.  Non gluten grains, legumes and soy, Dairy, gluten.  I’m going to continue leaving out sugar especially at home, and only have some when I REALLY want it.  

[BabyBear]

Day 30 cont

1:20 M2: hamburger and fries!
https://www.instagram.com/p/B79OvtpA5EN/?igshid=1m01u853g19dt

Let me explain after all I have made it to day 30 without giving in to cravings or sneaking into the pantry late at night so I figured I was owed an indulgence.  I made these delicious thick burgers and sandwich them between some iceberg lettuce “buns” and accompanied it with  a thick slice of a beef steak tomato, along with whole 30 compliant mayo and ketchup from 40aprons.com recipe stash.  I cut up a small potato tossed it in some olive oil, garlic powder, and Italian seasoning and baked them in the oven until they were golden brown.  I even had a little mayo and ketchup on the side for dipping my “fries”.  This was so good I nearly cried.  Unfortunately I could not eat the second burger I made, I even left a few bites of the first because I was full before it was finished.  So I stopped.  It was weird to stop when it tasted soooooo good, but being able to stop felt even more rewarding than the meal itself.  

6:30 M3: steak and a salad.  

After dinner I had to go to Walmart and Kroger’s.  My hubby told me while I was at Walmart I should pick up a new belt.  I found one in the ladies department that I liked and it fit!  This is a big deal because the last belt I bought I had to go to the men’s department because none of the ladies belts would fit.  I have a lot running through my head, but I’m tired after a long day.  So I am going to sleep on my thoughts and get up early to journal before starting my re-intro day.     

 

[lizziehall]

Will you continue to log your reintro on here? I’m thinking I’ll continue with mine & I’d love to follow along your reintro experience!

[BabyBear]

@lizziehall Yes I do plan on journaling my reintro on the forum.  Cheers to us this morning for completing 30 days to reset our health, habits and mentality surrounding foods.

[Amy_Michigan]

That Day 30 Meal 2 looks GLORIOUS.  You are so inspiring to have made it through your Whole30!    I haven't been here in a couple weeks, so I will need to go back and catch up on your logs!  Good luck with reintro!

[BabyBear]

Reintro (RI) Day 1 - Gluten Free Grains and some sugar (if I eat a banana muffin)

The whole 30 has been completed and satisfied.  Today begins the re-introduction of the unknown foods. Also the logging of scientific measurements of change as well as an inventory of NSV

Whole30 Non-Scale Victories! 
Physical (outside) 
Fewer blemishes - my skin on my face neck arms and back have cleared up almost completely including black heads on my nose and chin.  I had only on pimple show up on my jaw line during ttom
Glowing skin - my face is so soft and feels tighter and looks more youthful
No more under-eye circles - less puffiness under my eyes
Less dimpled skin - my legs and booty appear smoother 
Longer, stronger nails - they do seem a little stronger and not as brittle
Stronger, thicker hair - my hair has always been thick but it does feel healthier and less oily.  It also grew quite a bit, but it’s hard to tell if the growth was out of the norm for me.  (My hair grows super fast and is very thick.
 Brighter eyes - when I look in my eyes in the mirror I see a sparkle and happiness
 Flatter stomach - YES I still have the mommy pooch but I no longer look like I’m 6 months prego
 Leaner appearance - yes arms and legs and face are more defined and less poofy
 Clothes fitting better - clothes are loose and I went down 5 belt holes
 Rings fitting better - rings are loose and tend to slide around on my finger
Less bloating - definitely less bloating and stomach discomfort 
More defined muscle tone - not much here but I haven’t done much to develop this
Less joint swelling - almost no joint swelling knees, foot and shoulder have almost no pain.
Looking younger - my face definitely has a more youthful glow
Feeling more confident in your appearance - yes

 Physical (inside) 
Less stiff joints - considerably reduces 
 Less painful joints - yes
 Fewer PMS symptoms - yes I was able to function for the first few days.  The pain was more along a 4 rather than a 9.
 A more regular monthly cycle - yes
Increased libido - hard to tell it’s pretty high to start with.
 Less stomach pain - Yes
 Less diarrhea - completely gone 
 Less constipation - yes as long as I’m getting enough water
Less gas - yes 
 Improved “regularity” - no I actually poo less but I think it’s due to my body being able to use more of what I’m giving it
Fewer episodes of illness - yes
 Fewer seasonal allergies - yes less post nasal drip and my cough cleared up
 Fewer headaches - gone
Less chronic pain - my shoulder pain is almost completely gone
Less chronic fatigue - definitely have more energy
 Less tendonitis/ bursitis Less shoulder/ back/ knee pain - yes

Mood, emotion, and psychology 
You’re happier - yes I find myself smiling all the time
You’re more outgoing - I’ve been a bit more chatty these days
 You’re more patient - yes
You’re more optimistic - yes
You laugh more - yes
You’re less anxious - a bit
You’re less stressed - yes
You handle stress better - yes
Fewer mood swings - yes
 Improved depression symptoms - I have none currently
 Improvement in your mental health condition - yes
 Fewer sugar cravings - emphatic yes
Fewer carb cravings - yes
 Improved body image - yes
 Improved self-esteem - yes 
 Improved self-confidence - yes
Less reliance on the scale - this was a big one for me and yes. 
Feeling in control of your food - yes

Brain function 
Improved attention span - yes
Improved performance at your job or  - yes
Improved memory - some
 Faster reaction times - some
Clearer thinking - yes
Higher productivity - yes

Sleep 
You’re sleeping more - somewhat
You fall asleep more easily - YES
 You sleep more soundly - Yes
 You no longer need to hit the “snooze” button - yes
 You awaken feeling refreshed - somewhat
 Less snoring - a little
Less night sweats - somewhat
Fewer restless leg syndrome - yes

Energy 
Energy levels are higher - yes
 Energy levels are more even - yes
 More energy in the morning - yes
No more mid-day energy slump - somewhat
 More energy to play with your kids - yes
 More energy to exercise - yes
 More energy to socialize - yes
 More energy at work or school - yes
You no longer need to eat every two hours - YES
 You no longer get cranky if you don’t eat - yes
 You feel energetic between meals - yes
You need less sugar or caffeine to prop up energy levels - YES

Sport, exercise, and play 
You started moving or exercising - yes
You became more consistent with exercise - somewhat
 You can exercise longer, harder, or faster - yes
 You feel more athletic - yes
You recover more effectively from exercise or sport - Yes
  You play more with your kids or dog - yes

Food and behaviors 
Healthier relationship with food - Yes Yes Yes
Reduction in disordered eating habits - YES Practicing mindful eating - YES
Learned how to read a label - began reading them again
Know which foods make you more healthy or less healthy - learning
 Eat to satiety - YES
 Listening to your body - YES
 Abandoned yo-yo dieting or crash dieting - YES No longer afraid of dietary fat - I learned this years ago but I did introduce some new fats
 Learned how to cook - I fell back in love with cooking and no longer avoid it
 Don’t use food for comfort - YES
Don’t use food as reward - learning
 Don’t use food as punishment - yes
 Don’t use food as stress management - yes
No longer a slave to sugar and carbs - YESs
Know the difference between hunger and cravings - yes and boredom 
Fewer cravings - yes yes yes
 Healthy coping strategies to deal with cravings - yes
 More variety, color, vitamins, and minerals in your diet - YES
Food no longer has unwanted “side effects” - yes
 No more food guilt or shame - yes
 No more bingeing - yes
When you do indulge, it’s deliberate - yes
When you do indulge, you savor it - yes

Lifestyle and social 
New healthy habits to pass down to your kids  - yes 
More knowledgeable about nutrition - yes
 You shop locally and eat seasonally - somewhat
New cooking skills - no
New recipes - Yes Yes Yes
Meal prep is organized and efficient - somewhat
 You’ve made new like-minded friends who support your lifestyle - yes
You maximize your food budget - somewhat
Spend less time and money at the doctor’s - spent none to begin with
 You’ve created other health goals - yes
Healthy eating habits have brought your family closer - somewhat
You’ve joined a new community - yes
Your kids have the best school lunches - we homeschool but their lunches do rock
 People ask you what you’re doing differently - somewhat
 People come to you for health, food, or lifestyle advice - yes
You are Whole30 - I am!

Weight 185.0   (-14.0/-22.2)

Chest: 40”  (-1.25”-/1.75”)
Waist: 40.5” (-4”/-6”)
Hips: 45.5” (-3.25”/-6.25”)
Right thigh: 27.5”  (-.5”/-1”)
Right calf: 15.25” (-.5”/-.75”)
Right bicep: 13.5”  (-.5”/-.5”)

6:00 woke up changed baby journaled and went back to bed

After journaling my results and NSV I reluctantly took my body measurements and stepped on the scale.  Sadly the thoughts going through my head that I was having to dismiss and debunk were things like … what if the numbers don’t match how I feel, what if the difference of I what I see in the mirror and in my clothes is more in my mind.  So on.  I had to remind myself the numbers no longer have power over me, they cannot add to or take away from how I feel about me, what I see in the mirror, how I feel in my clothes, the fact that I had to buy a new belt!  I am not the number.  I stepped on the scale still hesitant.  I looked down without having to look over my stomach and I smiled.  It was more than I thought.  I stepped off.  Wrote it down. Went back to bed.  I told my hubby, but other than that I’m letting the number go because it is just a number and will continue to change.  I’m not focused on that, I am choosing to focus on the NSV because the moment before weighing was eye opening on just how much of a slave I was to that number.  

 

 

 

[BabyBear]

R.I. day 31 - cont Gluten Free grains/sugar 

9:30 woke up and got baby up and fed.  

10:00 exercise- 30 min beach body prenatal baby yoga.

 

2:00 M1:  sweet and sour chicken with onion peppers broccoli pineapple and 1/2c jasmine rice
https://www.maryswholelife.com/whole30-instant-pot-hawaiian-chicken/

This recipe is amazing!  My kids love it.  I added steam broccoli at the end after I thickened the sauce. My kids willing eat the broccoli when mixed in the sauce.  
The rice - it was okay I would have enjoyed it just as much with the the rice cauliflower but it was nice having one less thing to prepare.  My nose started running but I recall I did that before with the sweet and sour chicken, so it may be the red pepper flakes.  I don’t do spicy often so it may be that.  I ate until I was full.  No desire to pile up more on my plate.  I am satisfied and pleased with my meal.
I made GF banana muffins that are compliant and safe for my 11 yr DS, and the plan was to eat one with some eggs and veggies, but I just wasn’t hungry this morning.  So if there are any left (my son may very well eat them all) later on today I may have one of those if I decide I want it.  

[BabyBear]

R.I Day 1 - cont

5:45 GF Banana muffin with a little smear of clarified butter and a couple pistachios

I was getting hungry and we are in the middle of a big project.  So I decided I would give that muffin a try.  It was wicked sweet like way too sweet.  I savored it.  GF and egg free baking always has a heavy moist texture.  So definitely not something I would want to have every day.

7:00 that muffin feels super heavy in my stomach  and I have a very faint trace of heart burn.  

8:54 M2- compliant beef stroganoff over spaghetti squash, mixed green salad w/ ranch and corn on the cob with clarified butter salt and pepper.

Oh my foodness! Was that beef stroganoff the best thing ever! Growing up one of my favorite meals was the hamburger helper beef stroganoff… don’t laugh! Well when  I came across this recipe last week on IG, I decided why not try it and it did not disappoint!  Sadly no pictures were taken because  it was devoured too quickly and I was distracted by the skimming the CB I was making .  I made a few adjustments so that my 11 yr DS  with food allergies could eat it too.  I did not make the meatballs but I did add all the seasonings except the egg and almond flour and mixed into the meat before browning it.  I also cooked the onions first but left out the mushrooms and then added the garlic to brown a little before adding the burger.  I did use beef burger and I forgot how greasy that stuff is, but I do believe it added a richness to it. https://www.maryswholelife.com/whole30-meatball-stroganoff/
I had planned on leftovers… nope my boys polished it off.  I sadly (actually proudly) stopped when I was full, and I’m glad I did.  The stroganoff using the beef was really rich.  The corn on cob was super sweet, and 1/3 of it went to the baby as he decided he really liked the corn. I thoroughly enjoyed every aspect of dinner tonight.  The boys said the stroganoff needs to make a regular appearance on our table.  Now to help hubby finish packing for his event this weekend.  He has a small skate party he will be vending at and sadly I can’t go with him this time.  Someday my goal is to go with him every time he has to go out on the road.  For now I hold down the fort and do what I can to help him prepare to have a successful weekend.  

It’s been a good day.  A productive day. A very long day.  I find I keep pausing and considering how I feel, so far so good!  

[BabyBear]

RI Day 2 (2/1) - compliant day

8:00 baby alarm went off and I’m up ready to face the day. Got the baby pottied and dressed.  

My face is looking so much younger and my skin is radiant.  

It’s a weird concept and feeling as I make my way through the kitchen this morning.  I see the chocolate oatmeal cookies and my first reaction is I can’t have those because and I stop myself and tell myself you are an adult you can have anything you want.  Then I ask “do you want those right now?”  I consider it and say not really because they don’t meet my very immediate and specific goal right now of determining what foods are negatively affecting me.  And then I move on content and satisfied with where I’m at in this process and where I’m going.  I decided to not take on the “whole 30 I can’t have that” mindset during reintroduction so that I can practice flexing my Food Freedom decision muscles in the safety net of re-intro.   I now consider all things allowable but only if I really want it and if it fits my goals or  if it’s really worth it.  I feel like a new born walking, but I’m confident I can do this.

12:45 M1: LO venison fajitas with avocado and tomatoes in a lettuce wrap with a little ketchup.

It’s been another busy morning.  I wasn’t hungry this morning so I got everyone else fed and out the door for errands.  Me running errands in the morning, who am I even becoming! We were back by lunch, starting to feel hungry but not really.  So I fed the boys and decided to eat the left over fajitas the older boys had.  It was delicious.  I checked in with how I felt after one and decided yes I could eat another and needed it to have enough protein and fat.  The boys have archery practice so I’ll get my exercise in after that and then do some house work.

8:45 M2 - my home made meat sauce with heart of palm “noodles” and salad with ranch

Oops I guess I was tired.  I decided to take a nap when I put baby down for a nap.  He woke me up 2.5 hours later.  I guess staying up until 2am helping hubby pack up took its toll on me.  Normally when this happens I would have given up on making dinner.  But I got up and whipped up a delicious filling meal.  It’s been a little while since I had made my meaty spaghetti sauce.  It was so good.  The heart of palm was decent.  Definitely not pasta though.  But it was a better texture and taste than zucchini noodles.  I stopped when I was full, got all the food put away and the dishes done before getting the baby in the bath.  The fact that I’m keeping the dishes done is a pretty big deal.  I’ve been managing to get most of them done as I cook.   My boys enjoyed their sauce with GF pasta noodles.  I considered it and let my mind sit there for a minute but decided that it really was not what I wanted yet as it didn’t fit my goal for the re-introduction.  It’s a great feeling being able to look food in the face and truthfully say I don’t want you right now, maybe at a later date.  I’m also thankful I can relax at the end of along day with out the need for a dessert of some sort, or the afternoon caffeine pick me up.   

[Emma]

2 hours ago, BabyBear said:

Me running errands in the morning, who am I even becoming!

I laughed - you totally sound like Tiger Blood. You're running errands, whipping up GF pasta noodles and helping hubbie late into the night and you sound good! I haven't read your posts from the beginning since I'm just joining in this week, but....you sound good. Ultra kudos to you for making it happen with the young ones around!!!

[BabyBear]

@Emma  it’s probably more like crazy momma bear blood   I do feel 99% better than I have in a few years.  Welcome along to this crazy journey.  I’m just trying to keep it raw and real.  I have learned a lot about myself and have reopened doors to allow further emotional healing through all this food stuff.  

[BabyBear]

RI Day 3 (2/2) - Fasting

7:00 rise and shine and get baby up.  I didn’t sleep well last night but that is normal with hubby away.  Get lunch going for church get breakfast going for boys.  Today is my fasting day for personal growth spiritual and physical.  I’ve been looking forward to today for spending time with my sacred church family and also for the rest that the new sabbath brings.  I love Sundays and being with all my people.  I also get to spend time with my mom on Sundays which is nice.  I may go skate tonight and that would be fantastic.  

8:45 Exercise: 30 min Beachbody Postnatal Yoga

I’m sore from the prior work outs Thursday and Friday, but I completed the workout and so glad I did. I’m beginning to really feel my core tighten and strengthen.  Now to get everyone ready to go.

The house smells intoxicating.  I made BBQ venison in my pressure cooker and yeast rolls for church.  My 11 yr DS taste tested the BBQ and said it was too good to share.  That boy loves food. Practicing mindfulness still takes great intention on my part but I am getting better at it.  Yeah I’d say that’s a NSV.

[BabyBear]

RI 3 (2/2) cont

I’ve had a terrific day!  I’ve had this smile that just won’t stop. Maybe it’s the gorgeous weather, maybe it’s because I feel good about me, maybe it’s because I feel in control?  Whatever the reason it’s good to feel happy.

I took all the kids at church to the park across the street during lunch.  It was nice to play in the sunshine for a little while.  The baby loves being outside.  I need to be sure as the weather improves I make it a point to get him outside often, which will get me outside too.  The weather also made a good training day with my martial arts student.  I so miss having a class maybe someday I’ll be able to have a class again.

My mom offered to keep the boys so I could sneak away and go skate.  I needed that me time, it felt so good to roll.  

I have had a few friends hounding me about before and after pics.  So I reluctantly took some pics and then found some pics from December (I am often the one taking the pictures so I’m rarely in the photos and I strongly dislike selfies). Luckily it was holiday time so I made in front of a camera a couple times.  Putting the pics side by side I can see a difference so that is cool.  

https://www.instagram.com/p/B8FT9mcA10r/?igshid=1tmdgqmyd47qv

[lizziehall]

Wow you look amazing!! Such a noticeable difference, and in only a month! These results along with all of those NSVs you listed are insane. Way to go!

[Emma]

Wow! What a great change! But even more great, what a great way to start off your post! "I've had a terrific day. I've had a smile that won't stop." THAT is pretty dang cool and wonderful. I smiled myself just reading it and felt my day start to get better.

[BabyBear]

@lizziehall thank you for the kind words.  I struggle with seeing the improvement over seeing how far I still have to go.  But one thing I’m learning is to let it go, focus on my choices and my body will take care of the rest.  It wasn’t stepping on the scale, taking measurements, or comparison photos that made the difference, it was my choices and my choices alone!

@Emma ah I’m so glad we shared a smile!  It was a great day.  Today has been harder with the baby being sick, but I’m still smiling!  Go figure!

[BabyBear]

RI Day 4(2/3) - compliant day

4:30 am up with sick baby.  Had to give him a bath x 2.  He finally asleep around 8:30 so I went back to bed.

10:30 awake and really not feeling it today.  I put on my big girl britches and got up anyways.  Decided to work out while baby was still sleeping.  

10:45 exercise: 45 min - 30 min Beachbody post natal yoga; 15 min Natalie Hodson stronger together 12 week week 1 blue
3 circuits
10 reps bicep curl 5lb
10 reps standing row 5lb
10 Counter height push up
10 triceps dips with foot support
60 sec plank on knees

I’m glad I worked out.  I find myself doubting it will make a difference but this is another mindset I have to work on.  I’m learning to apply what I learned doing the whole 30 to other aspects of my life.  Just as I had to let go of “I hope I loose weight” to “I’m excited to be doing something to improve my health” during the whole 30 I have to apply that same principle with practicing movement.  I took body composition pics for future reference.  I decided to compare these to my my dec before.  I see a difference, but it is tempting to dismiss the difference because yeah those pics are still pretty telling and disturbing.   So now that those are done I’m pushing that to the back of my mind and going to focus my efforts into being consistent and kind to me, and then see where the next 12 weeks of exercise takes me.  

2:00 M1: sautéed cabbage in bacon fat and coconut aminos, fried egg, 3 sausage links, homemade hash browns cooked in clarified butter.  

Oh my that meal was so worth the wait and effort.  Baby seems to be coming around.  He ate a banana and a had a bottle and nothing has come up, so that’s a positive thing today.  

[Emma]

Great reflection on what messages works and doesn't work. It's so hard to want to see changes and yet the day to day process is so slow, but it all adds up. I think your photos were really wonderful. Hope your baby recovers quickly and you don't get anything!!

[BabyBear]

RI Day 4 cont

4:00  Ugh   Down for the count.  I feel ick, and my stomach is churning.  I put Digestzen essential oils on it and it has helped settle it.  I’m going to try to nap.  

I only had to run to the bathroom half a dozen times while trying to rest.  Baby seems to be feeling better.  He’s asking for food.  So I fixed him some biscuits because I know he will eat that and it’s fairly bland.  Plus he begged for grapes so I caved and gave him some.  I grabbed some for me too, hopefully that doesn’t back fire on me.  They were refreshing.  I had half a handful of pistachios with it.  I probably should eat but I’m just not hungry for food.  Although I could have stuffed babies biscuits in my face.  I wanted them but I also decided they weren’t truly worth it, not yet.  They will be there when I’ve completed my re-intro if I want them.  Tomorrow my plan was to bring back the few legumes I do occasionally eat, but if my stomach isn’t feeling 100% in the morning I’ll post pone a few more days.

[Emma]

Churning stomachs - ugh ugh ugh.  Seems like the stomach bugs and the viruses are never ending this year. I'm tired of them. Bet you are at this moment too!!!  My go-to's for a queasy stomach has always been eggs and toast or spam and rice.  Laughing - Spam! The funny thing is that the spam doesn't have anything in it that causes obvious reactions. The toast is trickier.  Hope things pass quickly (ha - that was like a pun) and you feel better soon. Trust your body and what it wants to feel better.