Amy_Michigan

Amy's Log for 2020

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Today my daughter is sick with a 100 degree fever and a cough and had to stay home from school.  I didn't tell her she is missing 100th day of school where everyone dresses up like a 100-year old.  She will probably find out when she gets back, but oh well!  It is unfortunate to have to keep a child home when they are their normal happy, giddy self, but rules are rules and I certainly don't want anyone else to get sick.  An email was sent by the teacher saying that 5 kids left school early yesterday (including my daughter) and there has been a child diagnosed with Influenza B and Strep.  Uh-oh.  My son is at school, and I wish I could witness him telling his classmates the story about his eye injury.  He is just a hilarious 5 year old little boy.  He just made up this joke: "What did the dinosaur say to the human?"- "CHOMP!"  He has told the joke multiple times and loves it because he is in a dinosaur phase.

Last night I was feeling kind of gross and bloated.  Probably the weird food I had at Applebees.  I decided to take a PTO day because at the end of the day I am going to have an interview, and this way I don't have to make some excuse about leaving early.  I still feel kind of bloated and a little constipated.  I'll be okay though. 

My boss told me recently that he doesn't have enough projects for me this winter that fit with what I wanted to do, and lately he has been asking me to do things that I have no interest in whatsoever and I'm not really meeting his expectations with those requests.  I specialize in managing construction projects where I can plan and oversee contractors, work with consultants, and review engineering drawings.  Well, winter is really slow and they have a really great person already taking care of the small maintenance projects so I feel kind of worthless at my job this winter.  I like the place I work at, so it is unfortunate.  It has only been a year, but maybe a year is enough.  I used to work here from 2013-2016 under a different manager and I was plugged into all sorts of responsibilities and leadership.  I left to try a consulting firm for a couple of years, and when I wanted to come back to where I work now, my old manager was gone and I've been trying to fit back in but I don't think I really do anymore.  It will be really hard to say goodbye because I had some really good years there; I really like the people and I learned so much from all of the projects.  Winters, as I've said before, are really hard for me because of my SAD, but when I have exciting projects or when I'm working as a team with other people, those kinds of projects help me get through the winter.  

I have been reflecting a lot this morning about what @Brewer5 has been posting about in the last couple days.  About moving closer to God, and closer to positive things like family and nature.  About how to be my best self while still being there for my family.  Right now it has been about sacrifice because I wanted all of the opportunities for my kids that a thriving city offers.  My daughter is at an excellent dance studio learning ballet and tap, the schools are top rated in my state, and the kids programs are amazing.  Yet my aunt/godmother, who is my mentor and most positive role model is on the other end of the state, and she lives around the block from the grandparents that I am closest to.  They are still in good health, just turning 80 years old, and I'm not sure how long good health will continue for.  I only visit a couple of times a year, for 2-3 days at the most each time.  I'm definitely going to think about what to do at the end of the school year.  I think I have my lease until summer 2021 on my apartment, but with a job change it might be possible to get out of it.  My son is entering kindergarten in the fall, so it is important to me to decide on where to settle down soon.  My husband thinks we are settled, but we both know it will be impossible to afford a house where we live. 

The definite cons to moving are 1) My mom and older sister live only an hour away and we see them a couple times a month, at least.  (My mom is almost 60 and living with my sister). Who knows, though.  My mom might follow us up north if we moved.  My sister too.  My sister has expressed interest in the past.  2) My in-laws are about three hours away, and moving farther north probably won't increase the drive too much, but we would be moving into more treacherous weather and driving conditions, less ideal for travel.

I feel like my husband and I could get jobs in almost any region of Michigan.  I have an environmental engineering degree and my husband has a biomed engineering degree but he is working on getting his teaching certificate through an alternative pathway since he found teaching to be his passion.  He has been a stay at home dad, working as a part-time teacher for an ACT/SAT/GRE test-prep company for at least 5-6 years.  He can teach online classes anywhere, so if he could switch to full time teaching when both kids are in full day school, that would be ideal to take some pressure off of me.  He understands this, and is trying to make that happen.

This was a long post, but I was feeling really reflective today- and it is a day off.  

Back to W30.  I have to finish the chicken nuggets, so Meal 1 was nuggets and had a banana. 

Meal 2 will be two hardboiled eggs and fruits because I'm going to grab food from starbucks and that is the only compliant thing (I just won't eat the grain bread that comes with it).  

 

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Oh wow - you have lots of stuff you are dealing with/contemplating. Sorry about your sick kid. We all got hit with the flu last month and the kids missed over a week of school. Keeping them home is good - hard on working parents - but so much better than perpetuating the never ending cycle of viruses at school. Hopefully nobody else catches it!! I wonder what your mentor would do if she was in your shoes (regarding moving, not sick kids)

 

 

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Day 13

Getting close to the halfway mark!  I have been way less motivated to cook this week.  I don't know why.  I think it is all the other stuff going on in my life right now.  

I finished up my chicken nuggets this morning and had a banana to finish off meal 1.  Yay- I won't be munching on those for every meal now that they are gone.  I will have to eat my sweet potato soup for M3 today.  M2 is still up in the air because I didn't bring anything with me to work.  I have dressing at work so I might go out and look for a compliant salad.  Or get applebees again- this time staying away from the steak.  We'll see...

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@Amy_Michigan wow! That is a lot of big life altering decisions you are pondering in your brain.  That is exhausting which is probably why you aren’t feeling like cooking much.  I’m sure you will come into the best decision for you and your family.  Just hold tight with your whole 30 you will break through to the other side

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Day 13 cont.

Figured out meal 2: Asian salad from health food store with romaine lettuce, chicken, red pepper, red cabbage, carrots, green onions, and sliced almonds. I also bought Noble Made Sriracha Tahini dressing and threw out the dressing with soy that came with the salad.

 

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2 hours ago, BabyBear said:

@Amy_Michigan wow! That is a lot of big life altering decisions you are pondering in your brain.  That is exhausting which is probably why you aren’t feeling like cooking much.  I’m sure you will come into the best decision for you and your family.  Just hold tight with your whole 30 you will break through to the other side

Thanks!  I know I feel less like a lump now that I'm more than a week into my whole30.  I want to continue feeling good like this for as long as possible. 

Also, my pants are looser.  I kind of want to sign up for a "get rented clothes in the mail" subscription so that I never have to buy clothes again that only fit me for a few months.  I checked, though, and the one I found through Express Style Trial and Infitity Loft are $50-60 dollars per box at whatever frequency, and I think it is only 3-4 clothing pieces - not enough for even a week.  You can keep pieces as long as you want, though...so it's like gradually building your closet over time.  You wear them, wash them, and just have to return them undamaged when you do return them. lol, not trying to advertise...but I am going to look for a clothes rental subscription where I can get more clothes to start out with- if it exists.  Then it might be worth it.  They are used clothes, but laundered before they are sent to you.  Kind of weird, but might be kind of cool?  

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Day 13 yesterday

M3: roasted broccoli, sweet potato basil soup with chicken breast

Day 14 today

M1- skipped just because I had to rush out the door

M2- egg protein box from starbucks (ate the 2 hardboiled eggs, apple slices, and very tiny mandarin orange).  Didn't think this would fill me up so I also bought a squeeze pouch (strawberry banana).  

M3: Sweet potato basil soup with chicken breast. 

My husband made me roasted green beans, but I was in a rush to take my daughter to dance and he took them out of the oven right when we had to go.  He quickly put them in a container I could take with me along with a half a banana (he is so sweet), but I still haven't had time to eat it and it is out in the car getting cold.  I feel so bad that I didn't enjoy food he made for me while it was hot.  I don't know why but at the moment I feel like that is the worst thing ever. 

My left knee is hurting which sucks.  I usually dont have any knee pain so this is so weird and random.  I stayed up really late last night and only got about 5 hours of sleep last night.  That might have contributed.  Usually I get at least 7.

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Day 15- Messed up!!!!

I stayed up WAY TOO LATE for the second night in a row.  Last night I blame the Starz show, Outlander.  They were having a red carpet and panels live on Facebook around 11 PM-12 PM and then the Season 5 premiered for a Valentine's day surprise RIGHT after the panel at midnight.  So I HAD to watch the episode that became available.  I am a little Outlander obsessed because I've read some of the books and I've listen to some of them on audiobooks and I just really like losing myself in that world.  There is so much love, honor, integrity, adventure, and Sam Heughan of course.  I haven't had a crush on an actor like this since Paul Walker!  And before that JTT !  lol

Anyway, just feeling the lack of sleep today mixed with the temptation of wanting to "replace" Valentines day snacks with healthier paleo versions created a monster and here were my meals today:

1) "Meal 1" - 88% Dark Chocolate with a banana

2) "Meal 2" - I went to the health food store to look for a salad and all of them had Kale (GAG) so I looked around for awhile and ended up leaving with Chocolate covered Almonds and Chocolate covered date balls.  I put them together in my mouth and it was better than a Larabar.  WAY better. 

I knew I had cheated, but at this point I felt like it would be okay to just go on with my whole30 because there was minimal added sugar in my food choices (<5 grams) and the rest of the ingredients were compliant.

3) After getting back to my office, I realized that I could not survive without eating anything REAL today except a banana.  I went into my emergency drawer in my office and pulled out Amy's Organic Chunky Vegetable Soup.  I was going to eat it, but avoid the corn kernals.  However, it seemed like half of the soup was non-compliant mushy peas and water logged corn kernels - so I couldn't avoid them.  Not exactly the most scrumptious way to cheat. 

I guess the dessert lunch I had earlier sent me into a spiral.  Hoping to just keep going and be more prepared with work lunches from now on.

I feel quite embarrassed for having told @Emma that I was doing well avoiding chocolate on my Whole30.  Then the next day I eat ALL the chocolate I can.   lol.  Oh well.  Sorry for that post when you were going through some struggles.  I'm not like @BabyBear who always know exactly the right thing to say to people! ;)   I tend to put my foot in my mouth sometimes.

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@Amy_Michigan  oh no!  What a terribly frustrating feeling.  This too shall pass.  I’m proud of you for coming back to log and for pressing on.  Please don’t think you’ve gone and undone all the good, you’ve only reset your reset to day 1 because you introduced unknown possible inflammatory markers back into the blood stream and those take about 4 weeks to clean out.  The good news is there are still less of the inflammatory markers in your blood stream now than there was when you started.  You have already paved the road for a great 30 days.  You’ve got this!  You can do this.  Pick up and carry on!  I’m routing for you to win!

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Log Day 17

Restarted Whole30- Day 2

M1: sweet potato basil soup with chicken

M2: lettuce and cucumber salad with Primal Kitchen ranch, and a cup of frozen strawberries

I haven’t been very good with meal 3s.  Maybe I will get some zucchini today and make some spaghetti and meat sauce.

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Log Day 17 cont.

Restarted Whole30- Day 2 cont.

M3: Didn’t get to the store for zucchini, so I tried to make Brussels sprouts that were yummy, but failed, but I still ate about a third of them that were on my plate.  Also made a beef/mushroom burger and a scrambled egg in ghee.

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Day 18/ restart day 3

M1:  compliant mixed nuts and cranberries and black coffee

M2: Asian salad from health food store with romaine lettuce, chicken, red pepper, red cabbage, carrots, green onions, and sliced almonds. I used Noble Made Sriracha Tahini dressing and threw out the dressing with soy that came with the salad.

M3: zucchini spaghetti and meat sauce, side of cucumbers

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@Amy_Michigan ~ how is your knee?  ...Why, yes, I did pop in here just to see how you're doing...   :) 

I am going to throw this out there one time, and one time only ~ because I think I got quite the reputation here, years ago, of being a Potato Hater.  Lol.

I'm not a Potato Hater.  You know I've been eating them.  I think they can be a great transitional food and a sanity-saver for those coming to W30 from SAD, in particular.

But I do have a long and proven history of arthritic feelings showing up on Whole 30 when I am consuming potatoes / most likely nightshades in general.  I get swelling and pain in the joints of my fingers, aches and stiffness in my knees, and popping in my knees and ankles -- all things that are not occurring when I am not consuming potatoes.  It's been tested and obvious enough over and over again ... that for me, it is now a Personal Fact.

That is all ~ I just wanted to share my experience.  If it helps one other person out there have a lightbulb moment, then my time away from my onion was well-spent.  :)  I hope you have a wonderful day!

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Day 19/ Restart Day 4

This is not good. I am on a BAD path today...veering off of the whole30 track into nothing-land.  I keep thinking- "Go get lunch!"- and then another hour passes by and I'm still SITTING HERE at my desk.  I had a banana today for breakfast.  That is all.  A banana.  Then I went to starbucks and got a black coffee, a large bottled water, and a package of compliant mixed nuts/dried berries.  Ate that and then I went to work where I still am and I basically haven't moved since.  It's not even intermittent fasting because I ate between 5:30 AM and 8 AM this morning so if I have a large dinner at 5:30-6:30 PM, it's like fasting twice in one day which is the silliest thing I ever heard, and definitely doesn't sound healthy. 

It all started when my I was told I had to try to get some work done "by noon on Monday".  So I procrastinated and I've been trying to play catchup and get everything done ASAP or else possibly bad consequences.  UGH.

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@Amy_Michigan way to hang in there and stay compliant.  Some days are harder then others.  Could it be that the you “had” to get work done “or else” scenario caused you to want to rebel and you couldn’t so you were deflecting the rebellion onto something you had control over... food the choice to eat or not the choice to stay compliant or not?  This happens to me a lot with deadlines ... when I finally realized what I was doing and why and realized it was not a will power thing at all it helped me process the situation better.   I think Melissa addresses this in her podcast about the four types of people with Gertrin Rueban (spelling? And I’m not taking the time look it up lol)

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On 2/14/2020 at 11:36 AM, Amy_Michigan said:

I feel quite embarrassed for having told @Emma that I was doing well avoiding chocolate on my Whole30.  Then the next day I eat ALL the chocolate I can.   lol.  Oh well.  Sorry for that post when you were going through some struggles.  I'm not like @BabyBear who always know exactly the right thing to say to people! ;)   I tend to put my foot in my mouth sometimes.

Oh Amy - I laughed out loud at that! I was so embarrassed also at my falling apart. I'm not cheering on your chocolate eating, but I sure do get it! I guess part of this process if figuring out what blindsides us and then how we react to it. YOU reacted far more gracefully than me!!!

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15 hours ago, BabyBear said:

@Amy_Michigan way to hang in there and stay compliant.  Some days are harder then others.  Could it be that the you “had” to get work done “or else” scenario caused you to want to rebel and you couldn’t so you were deflecting the rebellion onto something you had control over... food the choice to eat or not the choice to stay compliant or not?  This happens to me a lot with deadlines ... when I finally realized what I was doing and why and realized it was not a will power thing at all it helped me process the situation better.   I think Melissa addresses this in her podcast about the four types of people with Gertrin Rueban (spelling? And I’m not taking the time look it up lol)

Yeah, that sounds totally like me/the inter-workings of my brain!  Thanks for sharing.  That is interesting.  Usually in my line of work I am not faced with deadlines like that, and I'm glad.  I of course take those deadlines seriously- unlike deadlines in my personal life.  For example, when my husband tells me I should do something that I was already planning to do in my own time, I suddenly procrastinate WORSE because he was telling me to do it and I wish he hadn't mentioned it in the first place.  Then suddenly, something ELSE I had been meaning to do for awhile suddenly becomes my top priority instead HA.  I had a sparkling clean room when I was "preparing" from my P.E. exam. :) 

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2 hours ago, Amy_Michigan said:

I had a sparkling clean room when I was "preparing" from my P.E. exam.

You rebel!  Lol my house is never so clean as when I have major deadlines impeding... or when I get really mad/upset.  

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Okay, I’m still not functioning like a normal person.  I did the same thing as yesterday and fasted throughout the the day unintentionally.  Work was just stressing me out I guess, but I need to build up some motivation to pack my lunch the night before.  It’s not hard...I have lettuce, veggies, and chicken, and compliant ranch to pack and bring tomorrow.  I have to just TAKE it basically. No real work involved there so I need to stop being lazy about lunches.

M1 at 8:00 AM: banana, large container of pre-cut melon, and black coffee

M2 at 7:30 PM (LONG day): chicken salad, reheated ground beef mixed with compliant pasta sauce, and a bowl of freezer broccoli- steamed in microwave and ate with added ghee.

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I don't eat when I'm stressed. Most of the time it doesn't seem to impact me in any way that I notice and I often feel better because I'm not putting things in my system that bog it down. But, at the same time, there is something to that "take care of yourself" thinking. I'm impressed that you're planning on prepping your foods in the evening.

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