MadyVanilla

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Today, I'm starting my 5th or 6th Whole 30.  I decided to do this last night and so these first few days are going to be pulling things together that I have at home.  My last Whole 30 was in September, and I still have a jar of ghee and Paleo seasonings that I can use to get started.  

I've been working at home since March 16th due to Covid-19.  I have made it a habit to walk the dog for about an hour and then do an hour of yoga most days.  My eating has not been over-the-top crazy and yet, I've gained weight.  I think because I have created a decent schedule for myself, I'm not doing boredom snacking.  At the same time, I must be eating more calories at each meal.  I've also definitely been indulging in too many chips and too much dessert.  And grains-I've been having some form of bread/pasta/cereal with most meals.  I started out with big bagels and naan, re-thought what I was doing and switched to bagel thins only.  It's funny how I deluded myself into thinking I was eating ok when really I was not.  I gain weight very easily and retain water like a camel.  

The kicker for me was yesterday on two fronts.  I manage osteoarthritis in my knees and hips with a combination of diet and exercise (including yoga).  I was also diagnosed with hypertension last summer, but lost 25 pounds through the fall and was able to get off medication.  I knew I had gained some of it back (16 pounds as of this morning, since Christmas) and was starting to be concerned about my blood pressure.  I ordered a blood pressure monitor.  So yesterday, I was experiencing a lot of joint pain and had to cut my walk short.  I haven't had to do that in a while.  I know it's the cumulative effect of the wheat I've been eating.  The bp monitor had arrived when i got back home from the walk - no surprise that my bp was elevated. I'm sure that's because I've gained weight.  And been eating foods high in sodium.  And not drinking as much water as I should.  It's time to get back on track.  

I'm really pretty good at creating Whole-30 compliant meals.  I like meat and vegetables and I also like to cook.  I receive a Misfit Market box of fruits and veggies every two weeks.  I have an account with Thrive Market.  My challenges are my husband and teenage son who do pretty much everything they can to sabotage healthy eating habits.  I also have a pretty fierce sugar dragon, but I have learned that three days of Whole-30 sends it back to the cave (staying there is another issue!).  My final challenge is my love of wine.  This one is the hardest for me - I enjoy collecting, pairing with foods, sharing with friends.  I rarely have more than one glass a night, and often plan my meals around the bottle that I open (since I'll have it available for 3 nights!).  I can survive by substituting a seltzer water with fresh fruit.  I do not view wine as a SWYPO food even though I will miss it.  It's a hobby I won't be indulging in for the next 30 days.   I'll have to be happy with researching and adding to my collection.  

During my last Whole 30, I journaled my pain and energy levels, because I was really in a bad place when I started.  I'll do the same this time, though my energy is pretty good and my pain is tolerable.  After the first 2 weeks of quarantine, I've been sleeping more hours.  I've gone form an average of less than six a night to more than seven, sometimes eight hours.  Pain is an issue at night though, and sometimes wakes me up and prevents me from falling back asleep unless I take some ibuprofen.  I try to avoid medications when at all possible.  

Today is Day 1:

Pain-3, annoying headache (due to high bp or bad weather?) and some achiness in hip joint

Energy-7  I didn't have any trouble getting up and was eager to do this mornings workout.  I'm looking forward to my walk this afternoon.

Breakfast-3 scrambled eggs over salad with avocado dressing and coffee

Lunch-leftover potroast and a vegetable

Dinner-leftover ham and steamed broccoli

Beverages - lots of water, cut-up orange slices to put in 

Cranberry-lime seltzer water

Exercise-20 minute upper body routine this morning, walk the dog this afternoon, yin yoga video after walk.  

 

 

            

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

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So Day 1 started beautifully, I got all my exercise in, but it turns out that I really can't start effectively without preparation.  I had crab dip leftover and it's too expensive to throw away...that ended up being my dinner.  Not terrible, except that it's made with regular mayonnaise, cream cheese, and cheddar cheese.  So there's that. 

Revised plan - take the rest of this week to get myself in gear, plan meals for next week and a shopping list, enjoy a few more cups of coffee with cream and a few more glasses of wine, and be ready to start on Monday.  I'll still journal to track my pain, since that and my blood pressure are the reasons I'm doing this.  And also all of the other wonderful NSV that go along with eating so much healthier.  Plus, I know that with journaling even if I'm not yet following Whole 30, I'll still be more aware of what I'm eating.  

  Countdown T -4

pain - 0, but I also took ibuprofen at 5:00 am after not being able to get back to sleep for over an hour due to extreme achiness  on my right side, which is not typical.  

My bp was much better today, not sure why.  I did try to drink more water yesterday and definitely ate less food - just eggs, salad, crab dip.  Maybe that's why?

Exercise plan:

Push-up training - done

Walk

Yoga

 

 

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A bit of a bp scare this morning, with it so elevated. I called the doctor and did my first ever telehealth visit.  I'm back on bp meds.  Ugh.  

Plan to do a grocery order today.  

T-3 days

pain - 0.  Yesterday was a good day - I was able to walk a little over 3 miles with very little pain.  I didn't even do yoga last night, watched a movie with the family instead.  I slept ok, but woke up with a mild headache - and the elevated bp.  

Energy level - 7.  About ready to go for my daily walk.  

Focusing on drinking water today.  

 

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On 4/16/2020 at 10:03 AM, MadyVanilla said:

So Day 1 started beautifully, I got all my exercise in, but it turns out that I really can't start effectively without preparation.  I had crab dip leftover and it's too expensive to throw away...that ended up being my dinner.  Not terrible, except that it's made with regular mayonnaise, cream cheese, and cheddar cheese.  So there's that. 

Revised plan - take the rest of this week to get myself in gear, plan meals for next week and a shopping list, enjoy a few more cups of coffee with cream and a few more glasses of wine, and be ready to start on Monday.  I'll still journal to track my pain, since that and my blood pressure are the reasons I'm doing this.  And also all of the other wonderful NSV that go along with eating so much healthier.  Plus, I know that with journaling even if I'm not yet following Whole 30, I'll still be more aware of what I'm eating.  

  Countdown T -4

pain - 0, but I also took ibuprofen at 5:00 am after not being able to get back to sleep for over an hour due to extreme achiness  on my right side, which is not typical.  

My bp was much better today, not sure why.  I did try to drink more water yesterday and definitely ate less food - just eggs, salad, crab dip.  Maybe that's why?

Exercise plan:

Push-up training - done

Walk

Yoga

 

 

Smart!

I'm in my first W30 and admittedly I'm outsourcing the meal prep (I'm probably not a lousy cook I just haven't much in a very long time) and I would've prepped more / better whenever I do it again.  

I apparently should've been putting my posts over here in a Log but whatever, forum haha.  Anyway I'm interested to see how you progress with how detailed you are.

 

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On 4/18/2020 at 2:14 AM, Revelate said:

Smart!

I'm in my first W30 and admittedly I'm outsourcing the meal prep (I'm probably not a lousy cook I just haven't much in a very long time) and I would've prepped more / better whenever I do it again.  

I apparently should've been putting my posts over here in a Log but whatever, forum haha.  Anyway I'm interested to see how you progress with how detailed you are.

 

The last time I did Whole 30, I used the mail-order meal prep kits for most of my dinners.  I think it's a great way to save time and energy and to eat great foods!  

 

 

 

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I can't believe it's Wednesday already.  Working at home, the days just slide by...

Monday I did not start Whole 30-It was a rainy, dreary day and I had to give blood at 9:00 am.  I've really gotten used to lounging around until 10:00 or so.  I completely forgot I was doing Whole 30 and ate my usual Nutter Butters offered in the cantina after the donation was complete.  Also, my new Instant Pot arrived (first time user!) and I needed to read and investigate how to use it.  No exercise all day - I wasn't feeling it.  Lesson learned:  While I don't have to check labels or struggle to come up with meal ideas, I DO need to put some thought into this program.  Since I haven't been thinking or planning, this wasn't at the forefront of my mind. 

Tuesday was a new day - I used a sweet potato that I cooked in the Instant Pot to make a breakfast casserole.  Lunch was leftover Mexican (compliant) and dinner was grilled chicken and salad.  I was really hungry in  the evening and reached for some almonds - they were honey-roasted and I didn't think anything about it until a handful or so in...*sigh.  I really need to put more effort and thought into this if I want to be successful. Exercise was good - upper body workout in the morning, hour long walk on the treadmill due to the threat of storms, and then a 90-min yin yoga class.  

So today is another new day.  Once again, I haven't really been thinking about doing Whole 30.  I need to buy one of the new books to read to help engage myself.  

Pain=0.  Though I had to take ibuprofen last night so I could sleep.  

Energy=7.  Not as good as it could be, but I've got enough energy to do a lot of little chores in between work sessions today.  

Breakfast-Casserole made yesterday:  1 sweet potato, 1 zucchini, 1 onion, 6 eggs.  Cooked and cut into 4 pieces for 4 days.  

Lunch-leftover salad from dinner

Dinner-Cod fish and salad

Snack if I need it:  hot tea

I did my upper body work out this morning.  Plan to go for a walk in a little while.  I'm hoping to get a yoga session in, but it depends on how long I'm walking and how I feel afterward.  

Plan: Investigate Whole 30 books to help me get in the right mindset.  I should also make a plan of meals for the week and post it on the fridge so I'm not eating mindlessly.    

 

 

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On 4/22/2020 at 12:07 PM, MadyVanilla said:

The last time I did Whole 30, I used the mail-order meal prep kits for most of my dinners.  I think it's a great way to save time and energy and to eat great foods!  

 

 

 

Indeed!  I am working multiple jobs racking up more billable hours than I know what to do with right now so the additional expense is trivial.  In this case SnapKitchen has been so convenient I may just stick with it as it fits the current life style of trying to squirrel as many nuts away as possible while the money is running.

Almost done with the first 30 days but think I am going to double up.  No real burst of energy TBH but I was a physiological sugar junkie and while I went through the withdrawal symptoms before I just don’t feel great now but my sleep has been off.  Stress probably but getting things done so it’ll pass.

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And now it's almost 6 weeks since my last post.  I have been really struggling.  I don't know why I can't get myself in the right frame of mind.  It's so easy to grab something unhealthy - some chips, a piece of leftover pizza - and think, "I'll get it together for next meal" or "I'll start tomorrow"  And yet getting it together or starting hasn't happened Ugh!!!  I'm so frustrated with myself.   

I decided last night (as I finished off my dinner of a bag of guacamole chips), that I would focus on behaviors that help me feel healthy.  Sometimes, I am so lazy about making a good meal, even though I know how to do it and can put something together rather quickly.  With ingredients that I have around the house.  Without needing to reference a recipe.  I just would rather grab something and not spend even 5 minutes putting together something nourishing.  That's just pure laziness.  Once I decided that I was going to make a list of healthy behaviors to check-off daily I felt pretty excited.  I woke up a few times last night thinking about it.  That's what I don't get - if I'm excited about being healthy and I know how to do Whole 30/paleo-type lifestyle and I know it makes me feel amazing, why am I sabotaging myself over and over and over again????

Here is the list of healthy, daily behaviors that I set up in the Reminders app on my phone.  These are all things that I enjoy when I'm in the right frame of mind and contribute to me making positive choices for myself, building upon themselves:

-Wake between 5:00 and 6:30 am (whatever time I naturally awaken)  - DONE

-Walk, accumulating at least 2 miles in any way - I like best to walk the dog a mile when I wake up, then two more 1 mile walks during the day, but sometimes we go on actual 3+mile hikes.  I have osteoarthritis, so how I feel on a given day contributes to how long I walk.  - One mile done

-Take blood pressure reading, take bp meds, weigh myself put in tracker - DONE  I have discovered that I am a person that should weigh myself daily.  I have a solid understanding of weight fluctuations and don't get upset about ups and downs on the scale.  It's just a number to me - BUT, not weighing myself allows me to deny and avoid my heaviness.  I can put on a pair of yoga pants, brush my hair, look in the mirror, and feel decently presentable.  It's not until I see a picture of myself smiling or of my whole body that it hits my how heavy I am.  The scale, while I do avoid it when I'm sabotaging myself, is like a photograph for me - a reality check.  

-Eat a low-carb breakfast, meaning one filled with proteins and vegetables.  I have not been very gung-ho about cooking breakfast lately, so I'm either going to eat leftovers or just cook something.  Seriously, I can scramble eggs and spinach and have it all cleaned up in 10 minutes.  - Coffee only, not hungry this morning.  This is ok for today, as long as I follow through with making myself lunch.  When I'm following a paleo-type lifestyle, I tend to do best with eating two big meals a day.  For now (well, after today), and during Whole 30, I'll do 3 meals.  

-Drink two liters of water

-Journal - what I'm doing here, I really need to explore this laziness and self-sabotage.  That can happen here - DONE

-Talk or message with at least one other person outside my home - DONE

-Do a chore - laundry in process

-Practice Spanish - I've been working on learning Spanish for several years now, and I really enjoy practicing it.  A mentally healthy activity for me.  

-Fix lunch - honestly, at this point it doesn't matter to me what kind of lunch as long as I get myself putting a little effort into making something.  I set an alarm for noon.  

-Do yoga.  A lifesaver for me, and yet, despite having time during the pandemic, I'm too lazy to do this many days.  

-Fix dinner.  Again, just get off my butt and fix something.  My best afternoons are:  finish work, go for a walk with the dog, do yoga, fix dinner.  Each flows nicely into the next.  If i did this every day, I'd be in a really good place.  

So that's my list.  If I do these things, I feel better and have more energy.  If I don't do these things, I'm being a lazy lump.  I need to take Nike's "Just Do It" to heart.   What am i doing instead?  Reading or playing games on my iPad.  Nothing productive.  The reading is nice, but I certainly have plenty of time to do that even if I were to do the things on my list plus work.  The playing games is a timewaster.  I spend soo much time in my own head, and the game play just allows me to do that.  I must get out of my head a little.  Journaling will help a little, I think.  

My goal (I wrote hope, went back and changed it to goal) is to regain some energy and desire to do a Whole 30.  I know that it only takes me 3 days of eating nourishing foods to start the positive cycle.  I think the fact that I know that contributes a little to my self-sabotage - only 3 days, I can start on that ever elusive tomorrow....

I am miserable.  I have gained so much weight.  I really hate seeing myself smile, seeing pictures of myself as my face is so bloated and puffy.  My clothes consist only of yoga pants right now (quarantine-wear, but it won't be long before I need to get back into other clothing).  My blood pressure is not well-controlled.  I worry about my health.  I'll be 50 this summer.  I have a family history of diabetes, heart disease, and obesity.  My knees and hip hurt tremendously when I don't walk and when I carry this extra weight.  I like vegetables and nourishing foods.  While I have a huge sugar monster, I don't miss sugar at all when I'm eating well.    This terrible junk food diet that I'm currently on is almost like an act of defiance.  But defiance against what?  Myself?  I'll have to come back to this when I'm ready.  This is related to spending so much time in my own head.  

That's  all for now.  I'm not going to limit myself to journaling once a day if I think I want to come back here again later. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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It's been less than an hour and I'm journaling again....

I read through some of the other journals and became inspired reading about how quickly changes were noticed.  I remembered that 6 weeks ago I had planned to look at and possibly buy one or two Whole 30 books, that I should listen to music everyday on my healthy habit list, and that I should return to tracking pain and energy levels, and add mood to that.  Current pain=0, energy=5 (I'm inspired, so a little higher than it has been), mood=5.  I was a 3 this morning, but again, feeling inspired has helped.    

So since my last post 58 minutes ago, I've:

Ordered the Whole 30 Day-by-Day and Food Freedom books, will arrive tomorrow

Fixed and ate lunch-2 hotdogs with saurkraut, leftover risotto.  My victory here is in not grabbing a handful of Skittles or a bag of chips and actually thinking about and preparing (albeit microwaving) lunch.  I almost threw away the risotto, but decided not to - I'm not officially on Whole 30 yet, risotto is one of my favorite foods and I am really good at making it (it will be missed!!!), and it's a little too expensive to waste, given the ingredients in it.  

Finished one liter of water

Set my alarm for 4:00 pm to go for the second mile walk of the day.  

Turned on some music

Going to refill my liter bottle and do some work this afternoon.  I feel that a weight is lifted.  Maybe when I get back here, I'll set a date to set my Whole 30.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I did everything on my checklist yesterday.  I even took the dog for a walk a little earlier than I had planned, then read for a while, did yoga, and made dinner (leftover grilled chicken and the rest of that risotto).  I also had a glass of wine with my dinner, though no vegetables.  I was feeling really good about myself and then I saw the bag of Twizzlers - "I'm not on Whole 30 yet, I can eat these."  So I did.  And then later, three dinner rolls with butter.  I wasn't even  hungry.  It was me thinking that I'm about to move away from these foods, I won't be able to have them anymore, I can do whatever, eat whatever I want.  And the funny thing is, that I KNOW when I'm in my Whole 30, I'll think it's crazy that I was worried that I couldn't have a piece of candy because I won't want a piece of candy.  A little of it was some anger toward my husband, too - "You're doing that, fine I'm going to eat these Twizzlers."  There's so much underlying animosity there.  Like it hurts anyone but myself, and I do feel better for just the moment that poison goes in my mouth.  But...self-sabotage!! 

My husband absolutely refuses to eat decent foods.  Every two months or so he'll say, "I really should eat a salad."  A lot of nights he drinks his dinner, making himself old-fashioneds and justifying it by saying he'll eat later (which he rarely does) and anyway, there's an orange and a cherry in the glass.  We've been married almost 28 years, most of the time I can put all that aside.  But sometimes, it's a convenient excuse.   Sometimes he'll eat what I cook, sometimes he'll like it, sometimes he'll complain about it.  Sometimes he'll cook something (usually a pasta-based dinner).  There was once so much power and control and passive-aggressiveness surrounding meals and I think we just got tired of the struggle.  And now there are vestiges that raise their ugly heads every so often.  Especially the passive-aggressive one.  As I said, there is a lot of animosity.  

I also have a newly graduated 18-year old son in the house.  He eats a lot of food and is the source for the chips and candy that I'm currently finding so hard to resist.  Again, I have strategies for managing having these foods in the house, but as I said earlier, it's a convenient excuse.  He does often eat what I cook and wants to know what's for dinner.  But he's also spending less and less time at home.  He works 3 evenings a week, too.  

Back to today.  Needless to say, with my late night sugar/carb rush of rolls and Twizzlers, I didn't sleep very well.  I awoke at 6:00 but was not ready to get out of bed.  I tried to talk myself into getting up and going for a walk, but my body was not having any of it.  I fell back asleep.  I woke up 40 minutes later, struggling with myself that I had to go for a walk if I wanted to change anything.  "It's only 20 minutes, I'll enjoy it once I'm out there, I deserve to do this for myself, I don't want to go plop down in the recliner and watch the news, I'm sick of the news...." All the self-talk, just as much negative as positive.  While I fought myself hard, I did finally get up and do it.  I walked the dog the first mile of the day.  If I walk, the first 5 items on my list are able to be quickly checked off.  Sense of accomplishment.  

Once I did plop down in the recliner to watch the news, I decided to make a schedule for today.  I have a bunch of conference calls, spread throughout the day, and so I thought making a schedule would help me to get all my tasks done.  My first task was to make breakfast.  I scrambled raw spinach in butter (I have ghee, but saving it for my Whole 30), three eggs, and sliced fresh mozzarella.  As I knew, it only takes a few minutes to cook and clean-up.  It was delicious, and right now I feel really good.  

Energy-5, pain-0, Mood-4

I'm eagerly awaiting the arrival of my books.  I have three separate walks built into my day (1 down, 2 to go).  I'm not sure yet when I want to start my Whole 30.  Maybe on Monday?    I have to wrestle this self-defeating monster inside.  It's like I'm trying to walk the dog and she's pulling just as hard as she can against me, choking herself and bracing her back legs, fighting with all her might.  I'm chipping away, walking this morning, making a schedule, eating breakfast, ordering the Whole 30 books.  I can't let this monster win.  

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Second mile walk down.  It's lunch time.  I'm not hungry, since I had such an awesome breakfast.  I need to troubleshoot this because this is an issue for me and a place where I often trip:  great breakfast, not hungry until 3:00 or so - eat lunch then, not hungry for dinner, start picking and snacking around 8:00 p.m.....because of the night before's picking and junk, not hungry for breakfast.  Eat lunch, still hungry, pick all afternoon....snacking is not helpful for me, I'm better with 3, preferably 2, meals a day.  

Options:

Schedule meal times.  I didn't eat breakfast until 8:00 this morning...

Eat a smaller breakfast

Eat smaller meals in general

Play with meal timing, maybe the late-night snacking could become a meal?

 

So for today, I think I'll eat some salad in another 30 minutes or so, which will ideally hold me over until dinner.  

Tomorrow, I'll set a meal time schedule with an earlier breakfast and see how that works.  

My official declaration:  I'm starting W30 on Monday.  

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I'd eat your breakfast and late lunch and look into making the last one a small meal. I'd much rather be full during the day than possibly getting hungry due to smaller meal sizes. I dont eat at set times ever. Lol

The self sabotage is real! I've justified eating junk before by convincing myself if the end of the world came next week how would I get icecream again! I wish that was a joke lol. Also very big on the well screw it I'm fine being fat- give me all the foods 

I spent almost all of may mentally preparing that I really needed a change and that I deserved to do this for my current and future self. Sometimes I wish there was a future self of you that could be seen and you could see the effect of your decisions on her rofl - oi vey could you imagine.

I read a book called atomic habits and I think you might enjoy it about making small changes in support of the behaviours you want to encourage. But it's super hard sometimes to out maneuver the saboteur in your head. They come up with the best excuses ever!

If it helps- I have faith in you! And will cheer you on every day. You got this

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@MadyVanilla 

20 hours ago, MadyVanilla said:

Schedule meal times.  I didn't eat breakfast until 8:00 this morning...

IMO I really think scheduling meals is important.  I am currently trying to eat at 8, noon and 6, and go to bed between 10 & 11.  A good hack: brush and floss your teeth after your supper.  If you're anywhere near as lazy as I am, it works b/c I don't want to eat and have to do my teeth again.  :P Sometimes laziness rocks LOL

You are doing a great job of mentally preparing for your start date.  For me, I quit wheat/grains/gluten but still ate sugar and other junk for the week before I started and that may have been the reason for not having the carb flu in week one.  That, and eating lots of potatoes.  Not sure, but maybe.

@Blueautumn

11 hours ago, Blueautumn said:

Sometimes I wish there was a future self of you that could be seen and you could see the effect of your decisions on her rofl - oi vey could you imagine.

:D LOL  Autumn's doppelganger!

Seriously though, the forums are awesome for this.  Check in on W30'ers who are ahead of you.  They are living what you'll be living soon.  I also love talking to women who are older than me.  Some of them are just so wise...

 

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12 hours ago, Blueautumn said:

I spent almost all of may mentally preparing that I really needed a change and that I deserved to do this for my current and future self. Sometimes I wish there was a future self of you that could be seen and you could see the effect of your decisions on her rofl - oi vey could you imagine.

I read a book called atomic habits and I think you might enjoy it about making small changes in support of the behaviours you want to encourage. But it's super hard sometimes to out maneuver the saboteur in your head. They come up with the best excuses ever!

Yes!  Knowing that a healthier, more vibrant version of me is waiting if I choose this path and a bedridden, sick, medication-filled version of me is waiting if I continue on the current path-that's a really good visual.  Maybe I'll draw a picture for myself.  Also, I will check out that book.  I have a lot of free time right now with working at home, I might as well read.  Better than playing mindless iPad games and trying to pretend that I don't hear the chips calling to me.  

 

52 minutes ago, ShadowInTheKitchen said:

A good hack: brush and floss your teeth after your supper.  If you're anywhere near as lazy as I am, it works b/c I don't want to eat and have to do my teeth again.  :P Sometimes laziness rocks LOL

Awesome idea.  I am so lazy.  I might as well make use of it!  :lol:

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Eating the salad yesterday was a good idea.  I then made a pizza for dinner that was languishing in the fridge, waiting to be baked.  And had two glasses of wine,  And then luscious dark chocolate.  But there was definitely a subtle mindshift, a conscious "Last Supper" mentality that was not filled with angst and guilt, but just pure enjoyment.  Rather than the "must eat all things" bender that I've very often woken up in the middle of, this was me making a choice to indulge.  THAT is what I seek-wholesome nourishing foods most of the time with an occasional, chosen indulgence that does not completely derail me.  Why is that so difficult?  Ughhh....

My Whole30 Day By Day manual arrived yesterday afternoon and I sat right down and read up through Day 0. After reading, I was ready to change my start to Saturday.  I'm still toying with that, Saturday vs. Monday start.  I can meal plan and order groceries today.  I don't have any big events this weekend.  If I don't start tomorrow, I will only either eat all things or try to recreate last night's conscious indulgence, probably unsuccessfully. 

The big question is:  am I mentally ready to start tomorrow?  Honestly, I'm a little scared that I won't be able to commit myself.  My failed attempt in April has made me a little gun-shy and distrustful of myself.  I've had 5 successful W30s - they were not all perfect, but each launched me into a period of health and well-being.  The one in September 2019 was a shorter period, though, and then April...have I reached my threshold for successful times doing W30?  This is a pattern for me - going all-in, learning everything I can, focused on a subject/task/activity.  Then I lose interest.  As I'm writing this and thinking I realize I'm experiencing FEAR OF FAILURE.  

A sign???  I just got an email from Thrive Market offering a free coconut oil with a $49 purchase.  Seriously, can't make this up.  I guess I'll go shop there once I finish this entry.  Something in the universe is pulling me along, trying to make me walk the walk despite the fact that I'm digging my feet in and pulling backward.  

So today....This morning I was ready to get up and walk, but I ended up sleeping downstairs on the sofa last night.  My dilemma - walk in my pajama shorts or go upstairs and put on some real clothes?  It's not so much my concern that the neighbors will see me in the pjs, rather it's the thigh chaffing that would result from walking in shorts.  My lazy self decided to walk in the pjs a short distance so that I could say I did it, then go for a longer hike this afternoon.  I actually will go find a trail for me and the dog in a little while, so I guess this counts as a win for getting up and walking 1/2 mile instead of 1 mile.  

I came in from the walk and ate breakfast of leftover chicken breast at 6:30 a.m.  I wasn't feeling like cooking, but I do want to play around with eating breakfast a little earlier.  I'm hungry right now, but it's almost lunch time!  

Energy-6, pain-0, Mood-6.  My mood is better today. My Food Freedom book should be coming today!  I also ordered Atomic Habits on Audible to listen to while I'm walking (thanks @Blueautumn!)

Plan for today:

Make lunch

Order stuff from Thrive

Plan meals

Go for long hike and think about starting W30 tomorrow instead of Monday.  

Get groceries

 

 

 

 

 

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I hope you enjoy it. It has some interesting insights in it and very interesting tidbits about how/why our brains do things. So its easier for me to stick with this because i mentally think about where i am placing that check mark to reinforce what behavior. That sugar dragon banks on check marks going into its column to keep it strong! Though my lack of sweet cravings makes me wonder if there has been a dairy dragon this whole time who beat the sugar dragon back so that he has dibs :) 

I am all on board for you starting tomorrow! My original plan was to start June1 and then after goin through the forums and reading the book i was like - pft why am i putting this off. Now im 7 days farther ahead than i would be if i had put it off! who knows maybe i wouldn't have even made it that far. You deserve to feel good mentally and physically STAT even if its sometimes easier to just push it one more day.

<3 you got this

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Very interested to hear your opinion of Atomic Habits after you dig into it. I've heard a couple of interviews with the author and it sounds solid.

Honestly, there are so many elements in your story that make me think that I may be your Long Lost Yet Fully Anonymous Whole 30 Twin. (Okay, that's probably a stretch.) Really, though: glad you are reflecting on your experience here; I resonate with so much of it.

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Well, I didn't go walk a trail yesterday afternoon due to a combination of the man-child needing my vehicle and the husband getting home at exactly the time storms started to roll through.  But Atomic Habits is waiting on my phone.  I will definitely update as I listen to it.  

Today is my official Day 1!  

I ordered from Thrive Market yesterday.  Lots of sauces and dressings.  There is something to say for the ease of things these days...once upon a time you either made your own Italian dressing marinade or ate the chicken dry.  I also went through my cupboard and put my stuff on one shelf.  I have paleo "breading" for chicken (as I wrote that I realized I need to check that it's compliant and not just assume), ghee, coconut milk, avocado oil, and a few other compliant things.  Plus, I have lots of Primal Kitchen spices, so it's a good start.  I did my meal planning for the week, but haven't shopped groceries yet-I'll do that when I'm done here.  I have a Misfits Market box coming today, too.  And Food Freedom came yesterday.  All the pieces fell into place, it's time to start.  

Last night was end-of-the-world, I'll-never-get-to-eat-anything-I-like-ever-again.  Pork chops, sauerkraut and mac and cheese for dinner, finished the bottle of wine I opened the night before, finished the giant chocolate bar I had opened the night before :rolleyes:,  and ate two, flavorless ice cream sandwiches.....and while I'm eating them I'm asking myself why, they don't even taste good!  But that's done and over.  

I am in a great mindset today.  I got up, changed from my pj shorts into pants, walked my morning mile, took my last weight measure for a month, and fixed a yummy breakfast.  The sun is shining, I'm going to have lots of colorful vegetables to chop this afternoon, I have herbs and lettuces to harvest, I'm making my favorite chicken salad to have on hand, and I have three books to work through.  

Energy=7, Pain=0, Mood=8.  

I took some ibuprofen last night due to hip pain, that I'm sure was exacerbated by the foods I ate.  But surprisingly, my stomach is fine this morning, despite all the dairy and chocolate.  I was more stiff and limpy while walking, though.   During my walk this morning, I thought it would be a good idea to list some of the NSVs I'm striving for:

-Ability to stand and start walking, not wait for all the creakiness and stiffness to subside

-Ability to walk without pain and limping

-Ability to bend my left knee beyond 90 degrees (yoga is helping)

-Stable blood pressure

-Off my bp meds (though this will likely be longer term.  My doc let me come off in December after my Sept W30 and continued success.  But I had to go back on in April because my efforts didn't last)

-Better skin, less flakiness.  

-Stable mood and energy level

-Address my passive-aggressiveness surrounding food and my husband

I know there will be more that come by virtue of a healthier lifestyle, but these are what I'm striving for.  I'm trying to decide when I want to do the Day-By-Day book.  It might be best to do it mid-afternoon when I might be struggling a little bit.  It's doubtful that I'll journal in it at night, but maybe that could become a new habit?  Something I'll be thinking about.    Food Freedom appears to be set-up that I could start reading a little bit each day in order to be ready to move into reintroduction at the end.  And finally, today's meals:

M1-3 eggs and a big handful of spinach sauteed in ghee and olive oil, with a spoonful of chipotle-lime mayo.  Delicious.  I had forgotten the yumminess that is ghee.  Also, no coffee.  I live for cream in my coffee.  Coconut milk is not the same.  I'll survive.  

M2-leftover porkchop (grilled, seasoned with salt and pepper) and sauerkraut, maybe some more vegetables?  

M3-taco salad with pineapple-, ground beef, onion, and poblano peppers cooked in ghee with Primal Palate taco seasoning.  With lettuces and cilantro from my very small garden.  I may grill the pineapple and add it to the salad.  

I will have macadamia nuts, celery and almond butter, and apples available should I need a snack.  

I'd like to go hike today, but I may not have time.  I'll at least get another mile walk in.  Plus yoga this afternoon.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

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14 hours ago, MadyVanilla said:

 

Last night was end-of-the-world, I'll-never-get-to-eat-anything-I-like-ever-again.  Pork chops, sauerkraut and mac and cheese for dinner, finished the bottle of wine I opened the night before, finished the giant chocolate bar I had opened the night before :rolleyes:,  and ate two, flavorless ice cream sandwiches.....and while I'm eating them I'm asking myself why, they don't even taste good!  But that's done and over.  

 

HAHAHAHAHAH that sounds like a normal day for me last month!

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Day 1 done - yay!  I really can't believe I did it.  There were some challenges, though.  I had a nice big breakfast - I almost only fixed 2 eggs instead of 3, but I had a calorie thought "those 80 extra calories are not going to hurt me."  Yes, I still have flashbacks to days of counting calories.  At least I don't think in WW points.  I was ravenous by lunch time!  I'm thinking that my typical cream-fulled coffee provided both extra fat and the appetite-suppressant effect of caffeine.  I don't recall this happening before, but I don't think I've started a W30 and ditched coffee on the same day.  Because I continued to be hungry (or maybe craving sugar???) I ended up eating celery and almond butter as a snack.  Then I ate dinner late, but my taco salad was amazing!!

On-line grocery shopping was interesting.  All of the usual temptations that I would put in my "basket" kept popping up on my screen.  Because I usually buy them.  I'm just glad that I know what tomato sauces, broths, etc. are compliant.  Plus, I was able to check ingredient labels in the shopping app, which I didn't realize.  And, I learned that some kombucha has cane sugar added to it.   A disappointment-My Misfits Market box of vegetables did not get delivered.  I planned my meals and my grocery shopping around that box.  I know they've been having some issues because of covid-19, but I got an email that it shipped...I may have to make a run to the farmer's market later this week.  

Not surprisingly, I had a headache last night.  But I did sleep well.  I woke up this morning around 5 am, pain-free, but went back to sleep until the dog pounced on me at 6:00 wanting to go for her morning walk.  We've only been doing this first-thing walk daily since Wednesday - how is it that dogs can form habits so much more quickly than humans???  It was a gorgeous morning, though, and we walked a little longer than we have been.  I guess I should consider her part of my support system if she's going to get me out of bed to walk every day. 

Mood-7, pain 0, 3 while walking, Energy-6

Plan for Day 2:

M1-kombucha.  This was my planned meal a few days ago when I didn't think I would be so hungry in the morning.  I'm not hungry, sipping on it now.  If needed, I'll eat lunch earlier today.  

M2-leftover taco salad

M3-hamburgers with grilled onions and broccoli  

celery and almond butter, if a snack is needed.  

More meal-prepping planned for today.  I'm going to make a breakfast casserole that I can eat from all week, chicken salad (I made mayo yesterday), and my first attempt at W30 barbecue sauce, for shredded chicken later in the week.  

 

  

 

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Thank you, I need the encouragement!  And @Blueautumn I stalked your journal, found the recipe and bookmarked it.  I don't have all the ingredients, but I will be eating that chicken pot pie in the near future.  

Chicken breasts are in the instantpot and bbq sauce is simmering on the stove.  I am in such a foul mood.  It's gorgeous outside today.  I should go sit out there.  But I'm irritable and hungry.  I know it will pass, but some salt and vinegar chips would make me feel better right now!  Ugh.  I'm going to eat some chicken salad once it's done.  I'm glad I can come here and post.  I shall carry-on, and report back with a successful day 2 tomorrow.  

 

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Oooh... chicken salad. I kinda forgot that chicken salad existed. I have historically loved this stuff.... and it's not hard to make a W30 compliant chicken salad.

I'm being reminded again of how very frequently I have used food as a transition point in my day...

  • Wrapping up a work meeting with a client > How about a peanut butter cup?
  • Coming in from a stroll outside and turning my attention to the next task > Time for a bit of chocolate milk! (HOLY MOSES, I LOVE CHOCOLATE MILK. The rich, full fat kind.)
  • Midday, feeling kind of grumbly, not sure what to do for lunch > Don't want to stop for a real meal, so I'll aimlessly graze my way through every bag, carton, and box in the house.

Learning not to reach for the salt and vinegar chips at random intervals through the day will take some time. From my lofty perch here on Day 9 (ha!), it's worth the discomfort. Hope this new day goes smoothly for you.

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@MadyVanilla What did you put in your chicken salad recipe.  I've always made mine for sandwiches (pre W30) with chicken, celery and mayo, and for W30 on top of a bed of lettuce, but am feeling too bored with that right now.  There's got to be a better way...

I hope you got out to enjoy the nice weather.  congrats on getting through another day!

 

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