Blueautumn

Autumns' R1 Whole30 Log

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First off my start date will be 5/24

I am committing now and starting the log now so that I can get out some of my thoughts around the whole process and try to align my mindset to the place it needs to be to go forward with making a change like this. The goal is not to just make it through the 30 days. Due to a multitude of health issues including high blood pressure, diabetes, migraines, arthritis - autoimmune, muscle pain, poor sleep, lack of energy, brain fog, morbidly obese, ETC These changes will need to be serious and focused. In the past I have noticed that if i eat better for even a short amount of time my pain gets a lot better and obviously the other things start to improve by default with the increase in good food and the decrease in the absolute trash i normally eat. 

This means I currently plan on doing a very slow reintroduction period to see if I can pinpoint the things that cause the most problems for me. I know there is a good chance it will target alot of my favorite foods but it could just be an accumulation of all the trash over the years with the lack of exercise and the increase in weight just causing all sorts of problems. Maybe I will get lucky and I wont have a reaction to a lot of stuff but even if I do the plan at least for the next foreseeable future is to make sure I stick as close to the whole30 plan as long as possible. I meet with my DR this week to get new blood work done and to find out what things she would like me to track for both our reference. There are a few meds I would like to get off and I would like to have children in the next few years and all my doctors agree that I need to get my other health things under better control - if possible - before I try.

Over the years I have become a master of excuses for not doing things or for doing things I know arent in my best interest. "I will start tomorrow" has been my life motto for longer than I could have imagined. I will exercise later. I wont eat trash at dinner. I'll write that book when I wake up. I wont binge watch netflix on the couch for 12 hours on my days off. I just turned 32 and it is def time for a change or I doubt ill be around for too much longer - and if I am, Im confident the quality of life will be questionable at best.

Not to mention I have actually eaten total trash and justified it by saying the world could end soon and I wont be able to eat it - yep that really happened. I should def eat that pizza and pint of choco icecream right now because what if i cant get it next week! (Ever eaten 3 pints of icecream in a day? I have. And that includes all my normal meals thats like dessert for each one. A pint = one serving of course, obviously.) And for some reason I convinced myself at some point that every meal needs a sweet element at the end....pretty sure thats an issue

Unlike many people on here I have basically no responsibilities except work and my hubby does all the housework and cooking and stuff so I just need to tell him what I want/need and he will make sure it happens.  Unfortunately he really hates to see me upset ( I mean i guess thats a good thing lol) which makes it hard for him to say no to me if i just decide I want to eat whatever I want. I am an adult though so i need to take all the responsibility for my current place in life.

One thing I heard recently that has really struck home is that accountability isnt for negative things. Its really just taking responsibility for the fact that you have to take the next steps. IE it doesnt matter who/what is at fault for where you are right now, only you can do what is necessary to move yourself forward. Id like to believe my health isnt wholly my fault but Im an adult, I know what i need to do, no one forces me to do anything, its def mostly wholly my fault lol.

I also have an extremely volatile relationship with food as a whole which I am hoping to understand better throughout this process. I have always been an emotional eater - I eat when Im bored, happy, sad, angry, stressed, you know all the feels! We were super poor growing up and once I started making money it basically all goes towards food (that will be a happy side effect saving the money I normally spend on eating out all the time.) It is my answer to everything and I have a big problem with portion control at this point as well. God knows when the last time I was ACTUALLY hungry was.

I will also be starting a detailed journal - which may or may not fully make it on here but most will posted on here especially since i realized how helpful it was to read other ppls journeys and it will serve as a good resource for me to refer back to as well. At the moment the plan is to monitor my sleep, food, blood sugar, blood pressure, pain levels and locations, and any exercise. I currently dont exercise at all but I know its something that needs to slowly be worked in.

Current goals
-improve energy levels 
-clear up some of this brain fog (I feel like i forget alot of things that have just been told to me) and concentration ability
-decrease fasting blood sugar (by any amount at this point)
-make it through the first 30 days (milestone one here) though there is a good chance it will become a W60 or 90 depending on what my doctor wants as a priority before reintroductions
-1st week no exercise goals, 2nd week 2xweek at least 10 mins, 3rd week 3x week at least 10 mins. (I have a recumbent bike that is sitting in my bedroom unused - its easy on the joints and I can do hop onto it without a lot of preparation so the barrier is very low)
-reduction in joint pain (currently off my immune suppressants due to covid but I have seen improvement in the pain from food choices in the past)
 

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I’m excited for you as you prepare for this journey.  I learned so much about myself and my relationship with food on my first round.  Journaling was instrumental to my success and growth. I look forward to following your journey through your journal.  

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More and more often I cant decide what I want to eat so I spend lots of energy thinking about all the delicious things I can have delivered because well its so easy to have stuff delivered. Then I finally settle on something because more and more things arent sounding good but I "think" I want them? i'm not sure if that made sense. So I settled on something. Had it delivered thinking I had finally picked the perfect thing (roast beef liquid cheesy goodness sandwiches), it got here, and I just feel even more depressed after eating it because it wasnt as good as I was hoping and it didn't fill whatever I thought needed to be filled which just makes the hole feel bigger.

By the way I did that three times today...

Pretty sure thats a problem. And its been happening much more frequently for the last few months. Yet another reason I am committed to committing 10000% to this way of eating for at least the summer to see if i can be a better version of myself.

I need to eat to live and not live to eat.

Def. I live to eat all day every day. Happy, sad, bored, stressed, eat eat eat. Need hobbies - great if i can do them while eating. Reading - eat, on computer - eat. Home from work - eat. And even when i dont feel like eating - i just get something super awful for me in hopes of making myself feel something about something. This is something I need to address. It will be extremely helpful to see how my thoughts and feelings around food change over the next few months so at the very least if its something that I cant seem to handle on my own - I have something to show a medical professional to go further if necessary.

I need to get back in touch with what food is and what its for - nourishing me so that i can live (not just eat.)

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During your journey I would highly recommend Food Freedom Forever book and any of the other Whole 30 books.  Also Melissa’s podcast especially the earlier ones really help me unpack a lot of garbage my first whole 30.  

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@Blueautumn I recommend the first Whole30 book too.  It explains everything well, and gives lots of basic recipes with super easy step-by-step instructions that I found very helpful, like how to make perfect chicken breasts, or mayo, or your own salad dressings or sauces.  I'm 55yo and until now I never considered myself a good cook.  Lots of food that I fed myself and my family over the years came from a box out of the freezer.  We didn't have guests for dinner often, preferring to go out instead, but when we did have guests it was over-the-top stressful for me.  On my first W30, one of my goals was to teach myself to cook, and I have done that, albeit slowly.  I'm learning to experiment.  I'm learning to savour my foods.  I'm learning to read and understand food labels.  

Another book that was super helpful for me was the Whole30 Day by Day journal (softcover book format).  It gave me some excellent prompts, and helped me as I progressed.  I still refer to it almost daily. 

The cost of the two books combined is just a pittance compared to what I would have spent on take out and restaurant meals since my first W30 last September.  I feel better physically as expected, but I also feel better emotionally because I have gained tons of confidence in the kitchen (we hosted New Year's Eve this year and I rocked dinner!) and I find it much easier to not have to defend why I'm eating what I'm eating.  

It's not always easy, but I hope that you will give yourself a pass when you go off plan.  It happens, but when you build the tools that you need to overcome your cravings, it just becomes easier to go right back on the wagon again.  I've had an unhealthy relationship with food for as long as I can remember, but I'm learning to overcome it, and I truly wish the same for you.  

Be Well,

Shadow

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I got the kindle version of the whole30 book and read it in one setting. im thinkin I might wanna buy the physical copy though for easier reference and to give it to my hubby to use as well so he understands what hes makin me :) I also just ordered the day by day because at this point I am sure any thing extra will only help. Ive given myself so many passes at this point that I know i need to really focus on doing it as perfect as possible to the best of my ability - my health is poor and only getting worse and i cant blame anyone but myself. 10 years ago I guess i didnt really notice but its def seemed to have hit a tipping point and is just dropping so fast in the last few years lol
We shall make this relationship healthy!!

I broke the post or somethin and cant tag lol but thankie shadow and babybear

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To binge or not to binge that is the question.

I mean its not really a question though, I know I shouldn't be binging but knowing that I plan on cutting out everything on Sunday has suddenly pushed me straight into OMG EAT ALL THE THINGS NOW! Sigh. This desire is crazy strong. It happens every time I decide to make some sort of diet change and I know its part of the reason that I have such large pitfalls. Eating delicious trash and then eating 10x that amount in days leading up to the change just sets myself up for failure - or at least a super rough first week (that was already going to be tough). The crash is even larger and I go in feeling even worse. Then I am much more likely to fail early - binge, then give up. Sounds like a super healthy cycle.

If I was smart I would start phasing out the super junk food now - I mean its only a few more days so whats the harm at this point? But I know its this thought process that has led me into the trap to begin with. Why do something today that I am perfectly capable of doing tomorrow. I read a great book called atomic habits and it talks about the general science that goes into habit making and urges. Basically any time I choose to just eat one more bad thing is me reinforcing that desire to eat that bad thing (which sound obvious I guess but each check in that bad side of the table makes it harder to get a checkmark on the good decision side)

So with success and my health in mind. I am cutting out soda now. I wasnt sure but I realized I didnt drink any soda at all today. This is something I should just leave gone. No point to buy anymore. I also dont want to risk caffeine withdrawal on the same days as the sugar withdrawal LOL (I dont drink coffee so all of mine comes from soda) . I mean I guess Im gonna feel bad anyway - maybe - but since Ill still be eating carbs I dont anticipate it being as bad as it could be.

Ive also scouted the cafeteria for acceptable snacks and food options in case I end up at work without any options.

I have never been one for fruits - even though I love all my sugar enriched stuff, give me icecream over an apple any day! Actually I cant honestly tell you in the last decade when Ive eaten fruits or veggies every day for a consistent week (honestly, probably closer to a 3 day streak max).  To make this easier on myself, the first week Ive decided to basically do as boring, easy, and straight forward as possible. Meat and veggies, meat and veggies, eggs and veggies etc. After the first week I will look into adding new recipes and actually trying to brighten up flavors and add some food love to my life.


The plan is also to add a new fruit and a new veggie from the produce section to the menu at least once a week so I can actually start seeing what is out there waiting for me. Most my life I have been notoriously picky - but convenience makes it easy to stay picky doesnt it lol. I know its been decades since ive tried some things and others I know ive never ever tasted and this is a shame. We watch alot of those cooking shows like top chef, master chef, chopped etc and I love watching them but it really drives home how small my culinary world is.

Prestart goals

Buy the day by day journal

Check in with my doctor and get my lab work done within the next week

No more soda

make my first mayo batch

Remove desserts from most/all my meals (everyone eats a dessert with every meal right?? I blame night shift for this ROFL)

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Sounds like a good plan! I'm a binger too, it's something I am still working to overcome when I'm not on round. Getting creative with meals is my passion, it makes it so much easier to stick to (if more work, I guess). Good idea getting blood work done before you start!!

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I binge too, or at least I used to until May 1 and the start of this LOL. Anything with sugar is a “food with no brakes” for me
I think it’s great that you’ve given up soda.  Look at you racking up an NSV and you haven’t even started W30 yet!  For the caffeine have you thought about drinking tea?  There are hundreds of flavours to try, and you can make your own iced tea too.  And when your friends find out that you drink teas, they will gift you tea instead of junk food.  :-)   Just a thought.

 I also like your goal of trying new veggies.  Before I started, I didn’t eat sweet potatoes, spaghetti squash or kale, and now those are favourites.  You will find some that you like

Since you’ll be cutting out ice cream, you may want to eat an apple after all.  Try the sweeter varieties.  I especially like Royal Gala apples

Good luck.  You sound determined...

Shadow

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@Blueautumn  DONT Binge!!! It makes it soooooo much harder.  Rather try reframing your mindset.  Instead of feeling or thinking like you won’t eat these things for an eternity remind yourself it’s only 30 days and they will be here when I’m finished if I want them.  Rather than thinking about all the things you won’t be eating try cruising Pinterest or Instagram for exciting new recipes to try throughout your 30 days.  Doing this made me really look forward to this journey rather than dreading it when I did my first round in January.  I kept meals simple the first few days until I was like I have to try that sweet and sour Hawaiian chicken recipe I found.  The new recipes kept me excited for the upcoming days.  Recipes that sounded good I would save on Pinterest or bookmark on Instagram.  The ones that resonated with my soul like “I must have this in my life” i printed those and put them on the fridge.  This is new territory yes, but think of it as a grand adventure.  You would not go and eat all things to make you sick and feel unwell before a dream vacation trip or a major exhibition adventure, so convince yourself that binging is not a good idea for this journey either.  

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Yesterday I got off work with the worst migraine ever. I took a bunch of meds went to sleep woke up and after being up for about 20 minutes the migraine came straight back. Im thinking its probably a combo of sinuses and lack of caffeine and it hurt like crazy. Whether its a migraine or massive stomach cramps or my feet wont let me stand up because they hurt so much that I promise the universe I will do better and try to make things better - then i usually dont. It turns out its super easy to forget how awful you felt as soon as the feeling has passed for a little bit.

I think that really drives home the importance of a log. At least in terms of trying to remind myself how absolutely awful some days are and im sure it will help with any patterns as well for foods that might still be causing me issues. Technically because of the arthritis and autoimmune stuff I know it was an option to remove eggs and nightshades as well. I will not be doing that for the first 30 days though if i feel like there can be a bigger improvement I will consider removing those for any extensions of the 30 days to get a more accurate feel on what is triggering. Im really unsure if I have any sensitivities to food groups as whole (though i imagine dairy might be a culprit but I LOVE DAIRY so we shall see how that goes) but i am going into this with the idea that im sensitive to all of it! Even though more likely I have huge control issues and have just over indulged in trash for so long that my body just doesnt know what to do anymore.

Over time though I have felt like the physical afflictions are taking my mind down with them and the depression and fogginess and lack of clarity is just causing the cycle to repeat itself. I am looking forward to breaking my NEED for sugars and am excited of the idea of finding my place in my world that doesnt just revolve around what I am going to eat next and when my next nap will be from being exhausted in both body and mind.

I got to work today with the migraine still coming and going. Got down to the cafeteria and even though the last few nights I have consciously chosen a salad instead of fried food and gotten only water instead of soda - i jumped at the chance to get a sunkist and drank it in like 15 mins. So that is one soda in the last few days but I know i did it, i had a conversation with myself about not getting it and i still just went ahead and grabbed. That is another thing I want to keep in my food/NSV log as well. Is what I was doing around the time a craving hits and my thoughts about the craving. Chances are I will see a pattern on what causes the triggers and I can plan better for them. Today is a 17 hour shift and my head hurt and I KNEW if i went to the cafeteria I would be grabbing a soda. Which means note to self - I can't go to the cafeteria angry/in pain so I should ask a coworker to go for me if I need something, I also need to get some compliant goodies in the fridge/breakroom for me to have on hand in case I get stressed and feel myself breaking.

I have also downloaded a mindfulness and meditation app that has quick five minute sessions that I can do whenever I feel like the temptation is getting to strong and hopefully those will ground me and help me focus on somethin else into the craving subsides.

Day 1 starts soon - under 2 days. I work saturday night into Sunday morning. Originally I thought I would be starting officially when I get home from work Sunday morning but have decided that I will start when I wake up saturday night so that the entire day of the 24th will be my first compliant day.

I am also happy to report that no one I have told thinks is a bad idea or a weird idea or is discouraging me in anyway. And I know this can be very helpful to keeping me going. They all know about my health issues and fully support anything that could possibly improve my wellbeing.

I have also realized that the conversations I have with myself right before I cave into a craving is an opportunity for me to tackle the beast and say no. As soon as I start the reasoning about why I should go ahead and buy that soda I will let someone know so they can help me ignore it and I think writing about it as it happens will help bring more logic into the conversation with myself instead of the sneaky temptation of Eve just take one bite of the apple (okay so I know its not quite the same thing but still.)

 

 

@SchrodingersCat The cooking shows really give me a desire to look more into meals to see how i can change things up. I think ill be getting creative slowly though while i get used to eating "real" food again

@BabyBear i just began bookmarking and printing out different recipes that look like they would be delicious so that i have something new to try on a regular basis - i love looking at food rofl

@ShadowInTheKitchen Id really like to work my way through the different types of apples. for years i really just called them red and granny smith (thats the green ones right haha).

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1 minute ago, Blueautumn said:

Id really like to work my way through the different types of apples. for years i really just called them red and granny smith (thats the green ones right haha).

@Blueautumn LOL!  I was the same for a long time.  That's an interesting goal... I did something similar with DD17 when she was younger, but she was the one who wanted to try the different varieties.  If it wasn't for her interest, I'd still be buying only MacIntosh!

Shadow

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1 hour ago, Brewer5 said:

@Blueautumn ~ I am sending all of the good, loving, positive vibes your way right. now.  It's 11:11 pm.  You're at work.  Just know you're not alone!

{Is that creepy?}. :ph34r:

I don't care!  Lol.

ROLF not creepy at all - NEED ALL THEM VIBES. And I am at work <3 lol

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So its almost 1am into the 24th which means my Day 1 has just started! Because it started literally in the middle of my day and ill be going home to sleep then wake back up in the evening of day my meals will probably look super weird. Because i work nights and switch to a day schedule on my day off - because im a glutton for punishment - there will def be days where my meal count will be odd. As of right now I am focused on just avoiding what I need to avoid and making sure to eat enough that I dont feel like im starving. Optimization of the meal template probably wont be till later in the week when Ive been without my filler for a while.

In the past whenever I have switched to any sort of healthier eating, my calorie count drops dramatically and I lose my appetite. I never eat as much good food as I do bad food so i imagine it will take a bit for my hungry queues to figure themselves out. Just going to tackle one meal at a time and listen to my body. I dont want to have to worry about the added stress of making sure im hitting all the template points right off the bat while also tryin to combat the cravings. As my eating becomes more normalized and I actually know when Im getting hungry ill focus on optimizing portions and fats etc. The first goal is just making sure there is some sort of veggie and protein with every meal. I LOVE BUTTER - I have some ghee on hand that I plan on throwing on everything so that makes me happy.

I did get a soda tonight right when I got to work which means i went into it sugar loaded. My first compliant meal will be when I get off work to end my day (which I would imagine would be most ppls M1 if they were starting today so it balances out - kinda LOL) though I do have some fruit I grabbed to snack on tonight. I decided to do it that way instead of starting when I wake up on Sunday so that I dont go to bed loaded up on trash right before I start (which I would have done obviously since I still grabbed a sunkist at 11pm ON may 23 ROFL)

My coworker brought me some la croiux to try. Ive never had it. My normal beverage consumption is water, milk, soda.  I was fully prepared for water to be 100% my drinks throughout this process but I am sure it cant hurt to switch it up with some other things lol. If you have any suggestions on drinks please feel free to let me know! :) 

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I'd love to hear about your meals, and how you manage them with shift work.  I find that it's sooo much easier to think of them as meal 1, meal 2, meal 3.  Have steak for M1 and eggs & bacon or sausage for M3, it doesn't matter.  I actually learned on my first W30 that I love to eat a green salad first thing in the day, with lots of chicken mixed in for protein.  

I've had years of practice with thinking differently about what to call my meals.  When on vacation our meal times inevitably fell out of routine, so we never called them breakfast, lunch or dinner while on vaycay, we just called them "our next meal!"

I hope that you don't cut back on the amount of food you eat.  If anything - eat more!  Or at least put more food on your plate.  Your appetite will pick up, and if your belly is very full you'll be less likely to cave into cravings.  With me, I think that either bread or sugar or a combo of both are what cause me to want to eat more, what stirs awake my sugar dragon. I could eat buns or cookies all day long if they were in front of me.  Now I keep trimmed carrots and celery in the fridge, and fruit.  (Try the apples!) They are always there, ready to grab if I want something.  I know it's not the same, but it does help in a big way. 

For your soda replacement, have you thought of getting a "Soda Stream?"  I don't have one, but they look interesting.  Another suggestion is to drink Perrier water mixed with a bit of your favourite juice.  I keep a 24oz water bottle with me at all times, and I refill it from the tap at M1, M2, M3 and before bed.  I usually drink the whole 24 oz four times a day.  My last suggestion is to drink tea.  You can make iced tea, just make some tea the normal way and chill it with lots of ice.  It works with herbal teas too.  Tea is cheap.

If you need to spend money to get something new, just calculate how much money you are saving by not buying take out or sodas.  It becomes easy to justify a new kitchen gadget, like a Soda Stream.  

Please don't be too hard on yourself.  If you happen to slip up unintentionally, just bring yourself right back on track. You are doing the best thing for yourself, and I'm cheering you on!  

Enjoy the journey,

Shadow

 

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Day 1 finished. I havent felt so hot so I slept four hours woke up, ate, was up for a bit then woke up again so theres a good chance I'll be up for the next 20 hours or so. I'm gonna try to sleep at some point before then but it may or may not happen lol

My meals today are quite sad but I feel fine and am not hungry. Need to make it back by the store to get some fresh veggies and my ghee seems to have gone missing lol - gotta ask my roommate 

M1 when I got home from work was tuna peas and broccoli 

M2 chicken and broccoli, cauliflower, and carrots -when I woke up in the middle of the afternoon with severe neck pain and a headache

M3 chicken remaining peas - when I woke up again about half n hour ago lol didnt feel like steaming more veggies atm they are all frozen

It's now been over 24 hours since I finished my last soda nom nom nom. 

Atm just drinking lots of water. And focusing on getting through each meal with compliance even if they arent the greatest balance.

I did get some fruit last night. I learned I'm iffy on strawberries, not a fan of blackberries they are like weird seed gritty , and that I really enjoy cantaloupe especially with some salt. That shouldn't be all surprising since I love cucumber with salt.

Used the instant pot to steam veggies earlier. Didnt realize there were three settings for the steam function soooo note to self normal setting at 6 mins is way to long. Finally found the spot in the manual that says light setting for veggies. It was so soft - I like my veggies with some crunch- I could mash them with my fork ick

I ate them cause I didn't wanna waste them but will be trying again later today

Starting weight 316 

I did start craving pringles like a crazy person earlier which is new. But overall I think mentally I'm doing okay. I know its up to me to change and I'm very focused on making that happen.

Read the miracle morning - will start implementing that this week as well

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@Blueautumn ~ I am so, so proud of you for being able to log Day 1 completed successfully.  Seriously, that is huge - and I'd like for you to just close your eyes and let that really sink in for a moment.  Deep breaths.  You've got this.

Now, this is where my Yoda kicks in.  Old and wise.

I have two words for you: fat and salt.

You perfectly understand protein, veggies, and fruits - and you won't need any help there.

I agree that you don't need the added pressure of trying to make your plate look perfectly balanced every time you eat.  Not right now.

But I want you to understand the power of fat for satiety.  You love butter - find that ghee.  As in, now.  Your husband who loves you so much needs to make that his ONE mission today.

Also: understand that when you make a switch like this, from a diet of "trash" as you have said so many times - your body goes through a very reliable chain of events:  you start burning through your stored glycogen - first in your liver, and then in your muscles.  As you lose this glycogen, you lose a lot of stored water as well, and sodium follows water.  Electrolyte imbalances are responsible for SO many symptoms of "carb flu".  Really making a concentrated effort to get plenty of salt can alleviate much of this unnecessary suffering.

Be gentle with yourself, friend.  Night shift is its own beast.  I recommend it for approximately zero percent of humans.  I do understand that the hospital is a 24/7 machine - and I respect the work you do.  Just please, please try to get as much rest as you possibly can.  It is vital.

Hugs and love across the miles ... today is a new day.  Day 2!

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L@Brewer5 thank you so much for the kind words! 

I add salt to all of it. I love it about as much as I love sugar lmao. I have four pounds of butter left in my fridge that he will be simmering down today and if I have a chance I'll be looking for some ghee or lard today.

Yes night shift well night shift rofl but someone's gotta do it 

Hugs and love

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I second what @Brewer5 said.  Fat and salt are your friends to help.  Even a magnesium supplement can be helpful with the carb flu.  Or Epsom salt baths. 

I am so proud of you for completing day 1.  I remember my first round my day 1 meals were sad and lifeless and flavorless, but I began to adapt and explore and stretch myself to reach out to spices rather than processed foods to add flavor and excitement to my meals.  You will get there too just keep on keeping on.  Just remind yourself that a slip isn’t an option and you are totally worth the effort.  You can do hard things, after all you work night shift as a nurse and I’m pretty sure that’s the hardest job in the world.

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@Blueautumn Way to go on Day 1!  

If you're craving Pringles, would adding potatoes to your diet help?  It may be that you are craving the carbs that you're not eating as much of right now.  I love leftover mashed potatoes fried up with onions and lots of ghee, letting them get nice and crispy. 

...Whatever you do, don't drink the Kool-aid!  :lol:

 

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Day 2
The M1 today actually took place 6 hours after the M3 from day 1, its just easier for me to group them together across my sleep schedule which happens to be super messed up now LOL. Ive been napping like crazy because I keep waking up randomly.

M1 - eggs and bacon

M2 - split pea soup with ham, potatoes, carrots, and broccoli

M3- steak with steamed broccoli, cauliflower, and carrots

Tried the la croiux today its not bad - taste like unsweetened lemonade. Ill need to check out some of those other flavors. 

I made clarified butter today, it wasn't that hard and I have a feeling its significantly cheaper to just make my own lol especially since I still have so much butter left in my fridge. Not really feeling the need to snack but I am getting cravings to just eat. I realized it doesnt really matter what it is I just want to be munchin on something. So I am trying to just ignore that instead of snacking since I dont think im actually hungry. 

My stomach is kind of all over the place. I imagine its super confused why there is suddenly veggies and not a crap ton of cheese. I miss cheese. Id like some cheese lol.  

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