Autumns' R1 Whole30 Log

[Blueautumn]

Day 12 June 4

M1 - chicken pot pie casserole nom nom nom

M2 - chicken pot pie casserole nom nom nom again and some celery sticks also ate some cashews to make sure i would make it through the work shift

M3 - um... pretty sure it was chicken pot pie casserole LOL

Okay so welcome to my super exciting day where i literally just kept eating chicken pot pie casserole. I do this with leftovers all the time. This was why I wanted to make something besides that potatoe soup because i was living off potatoes for a few days there ROFL.

At the very least the casserole does have different kinds of veggies - potatoes, peas, carrots and brocolli and lots of chicken so i see that as a well balanced win. I also add raw red onion to all of it because well red onion is the bomb diggity.

It keeps me full and I love the taste. I literally dont see the point in making other food if I have something already made thats delicious - I mean im pretty sure ill just be making it again on my first day off because it takes all the thought out of what ill be eating for the next few meals and i love that.

 On that note though, i am fully aware i run the risk of getting bored with since im eating it all the time. Ideally i would have two bulk item leftovers that i can rotate for a few days - my plan this weekend is to do another casserole and a beef stew. I also have tuna made so that would give me three protein packed food options to choose from in case i dont feel like cooking. Then of course i got lots of eggs which are also very easy to make.

I am trying to work in salads of some sort - like leafy greens but i need to find a dressing i like. The primal kitchen dressings arent really my thing (ive tried the ranch and the green goddess) but i still have their ceasar option to try and i need to look for recipes for some creamy ones that i can make with my homemade mayo or something. I attempted to just eat the greens without dressin - nope. not gonna happen. Ive given up cheese for now but i refuse to just munch on grass like a rabbit.

Still not really a fruit person. I have some at work with me in case i want something compliant to snack on or to add some substance to a meal if it doesnt seem to be hitting the spot. Its just not the same kind of sweetness that my sugar junk food is and i dont need sweet simply for the sake of sweet so im kind of just ignoring them, but they are in my kitchen if i ever change my mind.

My day 12 and today my day 13 ive noticed the just "eh" feeling. I know i have more energy because i spent 2 hours making that casserole after work on thursday which was a feat in of itself. The fact that i didnt just plop down on the couch and binge some tv till bed is such a huge improvement to my normal routine. But im feeling like super neutral about it at the moment instead of excited? I think this is the phase where the newness has worn off but i havent been totally fixed already so why bother? The interesting thing is though that im not bothered that the newness is gone because i wasnt really thinking about it as a short term thing.

I needed some massive lifestyle overhauls to avoid ending up in an early grave. period. and no matter how i got to where i am, im the only one who is responsible for improving the situation - no one else can do that for me. Currently im just kind of like "well this is how it is now." and its made me kind of blah but i have no desire to break my streak at this point. As you can see im not very worried about meal templates or things like that as long as i dont get hungry. Obviously diversity isnt even that important to me depending on the day.

The covid situation has also really driven the health point home. The comorbidities for people likely to end up in ICU or die were all things that i had - asthma, high blood pressure, diabetic etc and I was just setting myself up for failure basically when it came to health things. covid or not all those things have def been having a long term effect on my body and mind and I almost feel bad that ive done myself such a great disservice for so long. I say almost because there is no point in being upset about things in the past since they cant be changed. All i can do is make a better decision going forward and its those steps that I can actively control now that matter.

A big reason that i ignored it so long was because both my parents died fairly young. My mom died in her 40s from Multiple sclerosis and my died in his 50s from lung cancer. That really solidified in my mind that I  probably wouldn't live very long anyway and seemed to be acting out some horrific self fulfilling prophecy by the ice cream pint. If im gonna live though id like to live well. I also hate being so dependent on medications. if the end of the world came and i had to live through the zombie apocalypse i would spend most of my time raiding pharmacies or id end up dying from a blood pressure stroke!
 

So while ive said it before its worth saying again.

I want to eat to live not live to eat. I mean id like to eat to live sometimes because food is delicious! but i dont want to realize that i spend all my free time with food or thinking about food. 

[ShadowInTheKitchen]

49 minutes ago, Blueautumn said:

I want to eat to live not live to eat.

I really like this mantra.  

I'm sorry to hear that you lost your parents at an early age.  

You are doing great, almost halfway!  Congrats on that, and keep going.  

[MadyVanilla]

OMG chicken pot pie casserole.  That sounds amazing.  

The middle weeks are boring,  I forgot about that.  But you have the right mindset.  

13 hours ago, Blueautumn said:

I want to eat to live not live to eat.

This is it right here.   Bottom line.   Plus, if you're raiding pharmacies during the zombie apocalypse, it should be so that you have some good drugs to trade for meat, vegetables, and tools, right???

[Blueautumn]

15 hours ago, MadyVanilla said:

 

This is it right here.   Bottom line.   Plus, if you're raiding pharmacies during the zombie apocalypse, it should be so that you have some good drugs to trade for meat, vegetables, and tools, right???

Or you know for fun drugs that make me not care the apocalypse is happening lol.

[Blueautumn]

Day 13 June 5 and might as well put Day 14 June 6 even though that day is technically not over till i get home from this night shift lol But i already have my meals ready so odds are they will get eaten

Day 13 -

My double shift is every friday and i go right back into work at 3pm after getting off at 730am to work a 17 hr shift this makes food a lil weird

M1/snack when i woke up - some tuna salad with red onion pickle and cucumber

M1 at work - chicken pot pie casserole (its gonna keep coming what can i say - this was actually the last of it)

i had 2 snapkitchen meals delivered Friday morning specifically for me to have something at work during the double - there was also a chance id be working a double on saturday due to some illnesses and i didnt wanna risk not having something

M2 - one of the snapkitchen meals - it was the chicken enchilida(ordered it on accident) but all the ingredients were compliant, it used paleo tortillas so i figured screw it.  I ate half the enchiladas then opened them up and only ate the insides because the 'tortilla' just didnt feel like it needed to be there at all

Big not here - it wasnt very good, i can safely say that paleo tortillas are not a swypo food for me ROFL not that i thought it would be but figured it was good to know for sure.

M3 - tuna lettuce wrap with cucumber  and red onion, and a baked potato with lots of clarified butter

M4 - i ate again about 8 hours after M3 - I MADE A NEW CASSEROLE so i ate that

my second pot pie casserole came out better than the first! it was very gravy ish and its so awesome nom nom nom. I did up the veggie amounts in it as well since i eat it so often

On my double days because i run on about 4 hours of sleep i know i get snacky and hungry in unnatural amounts. When i get tired for some reason the answer seems to be to eat so i had an array of foods with me so i wouldnt get tempted by something that smelled yummy from someone else.

Day 14

M1 - that chicken pot pie casserole (yall should just make it at this point lol) i upped the broccoli and peas and carrots and used a split of russet potatoes and red potatoes

M2 - i have tuna lettuce wrap with cucumber

M3- will either be more casserole ( probably) or the other snap kitchen meal i got which was shrimp and cauliflower grits ( i hope its delicious)

I feel rundown today more than I have been. I am sore which is probably from the busy shifts at work but I haven't been getting hungry. The casserole is very filling so thats good. I can make it about 6-7 hours before the pangs start and I haven't felt the need to snack at all in regards to hunger. More than likely i start to feel bored and just want to eat somethin to eat something.

I have noticed that I will try to eat whatever portion is in front of me even if its too much because, well, i dont know why. In most cases I wouldnt be wasting the food, it would just be put in the fridge and heated back up later. But something about it not getting eaten in one sitting makes me uncomfortable like it MIGHT be wasted? not sure. When I would bring home leftovers in the past it was normally because I couldn't physically eat anymore without feeling sick. I also used to be very forthcoming with seconds and thirds. Soooooooo i am working on portion sizes, which actually dont seem to be that big of an issue. The bigger issue is getting more servings when in most cases ive realized the first serving was plenty. Starting this week im gonna actively work on making sure i wait at least 10 to 15 mins after eating to see how i feel before going back for more food. Apparently I binge on a meal to meal basis - eat 5 slices of pizza and think i can fit one more - GO FOR IT. then i do it and feel bad - shocker.

The amount of food i actually need to function and feel full is significantly less than what i had been previously eating especially since it has so much more nutrients that i actually need. this has led to a startling change in my eating habits. I feel completely fine only eating three meals a day with no snacks. But the desire to eat more often is there almost all the time and I have to consciously stop myself and remember that I only need to eat when im hungry (or its been around 5-6 hrs ish).

Everyone at work has been supportive and ask how im doing on a regular basis so thats nice. They will also cover for me for a quick 10 mins if I start to feel like i need to eat somethin because I lost track and went too long without doing it. My rooommate moved out yesterday so that is one less person who might be bringing temptation into the house.

Honestly i cant say i feel excited right now because i dont. You know when you finally wash the dishes because you simply ran out of dishes and that mountain in the sink is giving you the stink eye? - thats basically how i feel right now. I would still like to eat all the foods i ate and how often i ate them but i know that i didnt' feel good doing it. I finally reached the end of that with how the bad foods simply werent worth how bad i was feeling so i switched to something to make me feel better. But i still miss the bad foods - if they didnt make me feel bad i would probably never stop rofl. So its like this is a necessity even if the food im eating tastes good.

I enjoyed eating badly, i enjoyed snacking all the time, i enjoyed eating five slices of gooey pizza, i enjoy goin out to eat all the time, (AND THIS WAS EVERY DAY)  but as time goes on i realize i really dont enjoy the fact that food is obviously the center of my life. No matter how you dice it. And thats not good. I need to find some hobbies, get out of the house, learn something new, anything can replace the brain power, time, and energy ive devoted to food for as long as i can remember. Will i probably eat five slices of pizza at some point in the future - honestly DAMN STRAIGHT, but do i want it to be happening on such a regular basis that it might as well be a recommended serving size - i mean, no i dont. d

NSV - its official, something in my diet was a problem with sleeping. Ive had insomnia for years and its so awful to lay down and spend the first 2 hours staring at the ceiling. Ive been falling asleep in under 15 mins every night this week AND THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY. My sleep has a whole is still kinda sketchy but i am so happy i no longer spend so much time trying to fall asleep even when im exhausted.

NSV - fastin blood sugar officially in prediabetic range instead of oh snap you have diabetes range. This gives me even more promise that i can get my numbers back to normal and reverse the process. My doctor will be thrilled. Granted still have a long way to go to show control and maintenance to myself and my doctor but these are great first steps. Its fantastic.

Still havent added in exercise but im getting mentally prepared to do it regularly - dont want to one and done anymore. Id like to find an easy beginners yoga or something that lets me stretch because tightness and soreness and those pesky back strains or pulls i know are def affected by my lack of movement. So i think thats a great place to start.

[SchrodingersCat]

How good is finally sleeping well?! I just... go to sleep! It's amazing. 

[MadyVanilla]

4 hours ago, Blueautumn said:

I feel completely fine only eating three meals a day with no snacks. But the desire to eat more often is there almost all the time and I have to consciously stop myself and remember that I only need to eat when im hungry (or its been around 5-6 hrs ish).

This is probably the thing that has stuck best through all my W30s and relapses - I used to eat all day long but now if I actually eat meals, I don't want to snack.  I suspect you'll soon get to the point where that desire to eat all the time is less and less frequent and maybe will only crop up during times of stress or boredom.  

 

5 hours ago, Blueautumn said:

Ive been falling asleep in under 15 mins every night

This is AWESOME!!!

[Blueautumn]

Today sucks. I feel off and I want to eat alot.  Its super hot outside and kinda lazy day that screams for all fast food and cheese and maybe some icecream 

Gonna try to sleep through it

[ShadowInTheKitchen]

5 hours ago, Blueautumn said:

Its super hot outside and kinda lazy day

Yep.  A junky food kinda day, but you didn't I hope?  How about finding a new way to spend a nice day?  Maybe a walk, or sun worshipping with ice-water flavoured with lemon and/or orange slices, or cucumber slices?  Take a speaker and make a new playlist while you're out there.  Maybe invite a neighbour over to share the icey drinks with you too.  Or how about a homemade mani/pedi?   I'm still having trouble finding ways to distract myself from my usual junk eating habits, but please know that its doable and oh-so-worth it when you look back on your day and realize that you did it!  

Power through....  you've got this.

[Blueautumn]

@ShadowInTheKitchen totally slept through it.

[SchrodingersCat]

@Blueautumn that's my fav way to get through a lazy hot day LOL. Unless there's a pool handy, of course!

[Blueautumn]

Day 15 june 7

I woke up ate some chicken pot pie casserole 

Then was up for a bit

Feeling a lil run down 

Ate the last of the chicken pot pie casserole 

This turned into the morning of june 8th

Day 16 june 8th

Feeling super cravy for all the things

 Hot outside. Quiet inside. Perfect weather for delivery ppl

Went to bed to out sleep thinking about my food. Was going to do some stuff on my computer but the wifi card died - wooot - cheese pizza would make that less annoying

Wait I lied there was some casserole left - haha! So that was eaten as M? 1 maybe? Or twi guess it depends how its counted from my sleeping

M? Cod crusted in almond flour and nutritional yeast with a baked potato and clarified butter

Made some beef stew - my hubby loves it 

I do not....ugh not my cup of tea at all

So I've been wasting time and sleeping which tends to happen when my schedule switches on sundays till I go back to work wednesday night 

Need to find some more recipes to try

Day 16 done !

[Brewer5]

Look at you GO.   

[Blueautumn]

Day 17 june 9

M1 eggs bacon and fresh made hashbrowns 

M2 tuna with celery red onion and dill radish

M3 four hamburger patties with lettuce

Bed early

Not a very eventful day except I did spent some time daydreaming about different meals. My thoughts are still very food centric and food centric and food centric

on a positive note thiugh I am getting some time to reflect on my eating habits as a whole. Besides the fact that I very much use food as a filler in my activities I tend to over indulge over and over until I no longer enjoy what I'm indulging in in the first place. Then I switch to something else until I get sick of that and switch to something else till I end up with whatever was the first in line.

now I am torn as to whether or not my eating of that chicken casserole falls into that category and while I say its convenience and I very much think that's a big part of the case lol I've committed to eating at least 2 different meals a day 

day 18

m1 so far is tuna and peas

going tthrough my pantry and freezer to figure out what I can cook that will have leftovers since I did no big cooking yesterday 

and for the record all these dishes are driving my hubby and I nuts lmao one thing about fast food is that dishes are basically null n void lol

[ShadowInTheKitchen]

1 hour ago, Blueautumn said:

for the record all these dishes are driving my hubby and I nuts lmao one thing about fast food is that dishes are basically null n void lol

Have you noticed that the trash bags are less full?  I'd count that as an NSV - less garbage for you to take out LOL!

 

1 hour ago, Blueautumn said:

I tend to over indulge over and over until I no longer enjoy what I'm indulging in in the first place. Then I switch to something else until I get sick of that and switch to something else till I end up with whatever was the first in line.

I think that you've hit on something about yourself here, and I see it as a positive thing.  You know that you love that homemade chicken salad, so now you make sure to have that on your prep rotation once a week, and eat it for three meals whether those meals be over one, two, or three days.  3/21 meals in a week are planned!  Booya!

[MadyVanilla]

2 hours ago, Blueautumn said:

on a positive note thiugh I am getting some time to reflect on my eating habits as a whole. Besides the fact that I very much use food as a filler in my activities I tend to over indulge over and over until I no longer enjoy what I'm indulging in in the first place. Then I switch to something else until I get sick of that and switch to something else till I end up with whatever was the first in line.

now I am torn as to whether or not my eating of that chicken casserole falls into that category and while I say its convenience and I very much think that's a big part of the case lol I've committed to eating at least 2 different meals a day 

This sounds like something that's been rattling around in my head for a few days now.  Is replacing an eating habit with healthier food really making a positive change?  Is it easier to slip back into old habits if we don't change the habits themselves?  I don't know.  I do as you, overindulge on something I like until I'm tired of it.  I also eat at certain cues-sitting down to my computer, transitioning from the day/evening into night by watching tv and having a snack.  There is something to be said for convenience of a healthy, enjoyed food, but where is that line?  Something for me to continue to ponder upon...

[Contessa]

11 hours ago, Blueautumn said:

and for the record all these dishes are driving my hubby and I nuts lmao one thing about fast food is that dishes are basically null n void lol

This is one of the challenging parts of a Whole 30! I live by myself, and I am reaching the stage of just kind of.... rinsing stuff and setting it aside. I know I'll be using that bowl/spatula/slotted spoon again shortly. Heroic levels of laziness!

[Blueautumn]

June 10 day 18

So i freakin ate tilapia and roasted red potatoes for like every meal. No joke. Im so sick of red potoates now LOL

But i had pulled out fish to thaw and didnt realize there were four fillets so we made it all at once and it was just easier to pull them out and heat them up all day and take it to work and now im just sick of tilapia and roasted potatoes

This was different than the casserole because i enjoyed eating that and just actively planned to eat it for every meal (which i think is actually an unhealthy tendency so i told myself i wouldnt eat the same thing twice in a day) . I whole heartedly just dont think it counts for the fish because it was def just a this is much more convenient than cooking so its either this or i just order out and finally get that freaking burger ive been dreaming about. But still id much rather try to stick with the at least not eating the same meal twice in a row if i can help it because i get food fatigue with some things sooooooo fast and it makes me cranky.

plus im sure the body really enjoys some variation - gotta spice up those different macros and micronutrients!

I also had a very intense dream about someone stealing my frito pie out of the break room fridge and me trying to track down the culprit. I havent had a good frito pie in ages. I did find the culprit but she had already eaten it all - NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo, couldnt even get it in my dreams.

Grocery shopped this morning and got the ingredients for *drum roll* another chicken pot pie casserole! muahahaha. but im gonna spread it out this time - i swear. Also found the ingredients for a salmon chowder that sounds yummy and a whole chicken and gravy recipe. Ill link those as i make them and let you know how it goes.

Found some compliant sausage so probably going to do that with eggs for the next few mornings - so that takes care of that meal *high fives myself* and well my pot pie casserole which can be a meal for the next few days as well so just gotta get one more meal! Also bought some fresh ground almond butter. I dont think ive ever had it but since im having such a hard time with dressings that i like i wanted something different to have with my celery sticks for work. Got them in the break room fridge right now.

June 11 day 19 (just so i dont forget)

M1 eggs bacon and like three pieces of roasted red potato left over from all the potatoes from the day before and then i was very very sure i need to avoid them for a bit lol

M2 tuna, peas, celery and almond butter (is what i brought for work tonight)

M3 - this will probably be a piece of the casserole i plan on makin gas soon as i get home from work and then its Friday so i have to be up in a few hours to go right back to work for my long shift so ill be packing some extra.

Hmm need to plan now if im okay with Friday just being casserole day all day due to being at work for 17 hrs and ensuring that im not tempted by other stuff. Ill check the fridge and see what kind of variety i can bring. Tuna is an easy go to. Maybe ill hard boil some eggs as well.

[Blueautumn]

On ‎6‎/‎10‎/‎2020 at 10:14 AM, MadyVanilla said:

This sounds like something that's been rattling around in my head for a few days now.  Is replacing an eating habit with healthier food really making a positive change?  Is it easier to slip back into old habits if we don't change the habits themselves?  I don't know.  I do as you, overindulge on something I like until I'm tired of it.  I also eat at certain cues-sitting down to my computer, transitioning from the day/evening into night by watching tv and having a snack.  There is something to be said for convenience of a healthy, enjoyed food, but where is that line?  Something for me to continue to ponder upon...

I think its making a positive change for like health reasons but not in the long run for our relationship with food. In other words i think it would be very easy to fall back into the exact same old habits with the old food if given the choice because we didnt actually change the habit.

I try to do no snacking any more in front of the tv at all because the tv is my binge and sit place for hours and hours. I actually try not to snack at all if its not at work because i know sitting at home and grazing is a problem for me.

But as i just mentioned i ate fish and potatoes all day long and it didnt hit me near the same way as eating that casserole all day. I greatly enjoyed the casserole and looked forward to the casserole and didnt plan to make anything to eat instead but the casserole which is probably a sign i need to limit how i eat foods. When i eat something and realize its good in no way should be translating to - EAT ALL THE GOOD FOOD NOW (because thats how i got in trouble in the first place)

That was not the feeling with the fish and potatoes. That was just, what is already cooked. Oh this fish. Okay lets just eat that cause i dont feel like making anything else and its good for me. Y...a...y....blah healthy food. Though it was good when i first ate it. Like i didnt hate the fish, it was seasoned and everything and it was fine but it def didnt hit the same trigger for me.

And im making that casserole again MUAHAHAHAH because i love it. But at home ive already told the hubby that it cant be my every meal all day long.

[MadyVanilla]

Yes, this makes sense.  It has to be about our relationship to that particular food that's the key.  This is the concept behind SWYPO food.  I always wondered how could a healthy smoothie be considered SWYPO?  But now I get it-it's how we feel about the food.  There has to be a place for loving a healthy food and being able to eat it over and over because we love it and it's convenient.  I like that you said "...in the long run.."  Maybe I don't need to worry about this right now, but wait until my body actually gets fat-adapted, gets well into the reset, AND then begin to look at my relationship with some of the healthier foods.  

Go for it with the casserole!    I can't wait to see your up-and-coming recipes.  Chicken and gravy-yum!! 

 

[ShadowInTheKitchen]

8 hours ago, Blueautumn said:

I also had a very intense dream about someone stealing my frito pie out of the break room fridge and me trying to track down the culprit. I havent had a good frito pie in ages. I did find the culprit but she had already eaten it all - NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo, couldnt even get it in my dreams.

 You're too funny.  I did seriously LOL when I read that!

You are doing so well.  Cudos, and keep it going...

[Contessa]

12 hours ago, Blueautumn said:

I also had a very intense dream about someone stealing my frito pie out of the break room fridge and me trying to track down the culprit. I havent had a good frito pie in ages. I did find the culprit but she had already eaten it all - NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo, couldnt even get it in my dreams.

This also made me chortle. Some dream thief in the sky is having frito pie burps right now.... it's NOT FAIR! 

[Blueautumn]

So i didnt end up making that casserole yet so my last meal on day 19 was actually some eggs and bacon - fun times

Day 20 June 12

Woke up feelin super super off. I hurt, i was super tired and didnt wanna get out of bed. It was like it was last month just hit by a truck. Im thinking I have a flare going on and its such a bummer because i was feelin so good.

Then I thought about how silly it was that i thought 20 days of eating better would undo a decade of damage. tsk tsk tsk. LOL but anywho still felt like crapperjacks.

I didnt eat anything when i woke up and started to feel nauseated at like 5pm (i woke up at 230pm for my double) so i was like okay, gonna eat some of my tuna that i brought. Couldn't even keep it in my mouth, chewing it was making my stomach rebel hard and which brings up a dilemma. this is not an uncommon thing to happen during a flare. part of it is because of the gastroporesis things move out of stomach so slowly it doesnt want anything else in it. I think this is also what normally causes my fire indigestion every so often where im sure i have a small volcano in my stomach that also makes me super nauseous feeling and doesnt go away with anything.

Positive note - i havent had any fire vomit indigestion since ive started whole30 which is freaking amazing because that sh*t sucks.

So anyways - my normal "solution" to this is get a giant cup of ice and fill it with sunkist. The super cold carbonation makes my stomach feel better and i just suck on this sugar concoction for a few days so i dont die since eating is just off the table. 

If i go back in my log i know this has happened before in the first week but i thought it was a result of suddenly getting super hungry and becoming super nauseous from it - and that may have been a big part of it as to why it was hitting me so hard but im having the same thing now just with the nausea on a much smaller scale - it only hits when i start to chew its not just making me feel super bad that entire time so i think that was a combo of flaring and learning about being hungry.

The solution at that time was that my coworker made me some potatoe soup that had been blended down so i didnt have to chew anything - and i ate that soup for every meal for three days. I was not prepared for it happen again and that is exactly what is happening now. The act of chewing makes me want to puke soooo bad so i need to dirnk my calories.

This means ideally i would make more soup and use that for the next two days to keep getting something in. This is not possible to do when uve just started a 17hour shift by the way. So i improvised since i cant afford to be crashing from a 0 calorie intake at the hospital. Not to mention back spasms had started. Friday morning right before bed my back hurt so bad (this should have been a clue i was in for a bad day lol) and they continued through my shift.

DAy 20

All meals -

In the cafeteria i found some cashews which i grabbed in case the crunch from the crunchy would be better than the soft texture of meat and veggies during the chewing. And they had 100 percent grape juice so i got that. Now for yall reading this - you arent supposed to drink juice like juice. The sugar content def. rivals a sunkist even if there is no added sugar lol.

But either way i sipped on that juice for the whole shift because it turns out i didnt even really want it. Didnt even end up finishing the juice but i did get like half of it down. I tried the tuna a few more times i think over the entire shift i got down a spoonful of tiny bites.

I was able to get down the bag of cashews during a feel good moment at like 3 in the morning as long as i took relatively small bites. Unfort after i ate the handful i swear they kept floating back up my throat and back down with the water i had been drinking - sooooooo thats cool.

Now the annoying part is im not actually hungry at all but we all know thats a lie - im 300 pounds and working - i shouldnt be goin this long without eating lol. Made it back home still not hungry but my hubby made bacon and eggs. I got a few spoons of egg down but the bacon was much easier because i could take small crunchy bites. so i ate a few pieces of bacon and then went to bed.

 

[Blueautumn]

Saturday June 13th - Day 21

So im at work right now and its actually 0030 on 6/14 but as yall have noticed i like to grab this night and the meal in the morning as the previous day due to the night shift schedule.

M1 - about 2 inches of a sausage link and three bites of a baked potato.

I was really hoping i would sleep off whatever had been making me feel so bad friday but it wasnt really until today when i woke up still not hungry that i realized i was in a flare and it wasnt just some stomach thing. And of course my realization that i probably needed some sort of blended soup for meals didnt hit me till i was trying to eat that baked potato.

All the meals i brought for food on friday i still have at work since i didnt eat them. Unfortunately they still dont sound so hot. So i got some cashews and a banana from the cafeteria. Unlike last night though i still cant get these cashews down but the banana went down with little issue. Thats interesting.

Also random side note here - had tried that almond butter thursday night. Friday morning my hubby asked how the almond butter was and just trying to talk about it suddenly made me nauseous for no reason. Well its been like that ever since. If i think to long about the almond butter i want to vomit. Even typing this ugh. And i enjoyed it alright. i didnt have problems eating it or anythin but ugh omg thinking about it is like thinking about that alcohol that almost killed you 10 or 20 years ago when you got super wasted and hung over (you all know exactly what im talking about - fyi if i smell hypnotic i try to vomit and thats from when i was 16 ROFL)

About a year ago i had eaten some raw almonds because they are supposed to be better for you than roasted almonds or whatever and they killed me. Like i was on the bathroom floor in so much pain like someone was trying to burst up from the entire area between my neck and my waist. It was awful. So no more raw almonds for me. I dont recall having issues before but i did read that sometimes the skin on the almond can cause problems.

Either way because of this super nauseous reaction to even thinking about the almond butter im actually thinking it doesnt sit well. I cant think of any reason for such a strong reaction to it especially since i didnt have the reaction when i was eating it thursday night. Coincidence that i feel bad and had the almond butter - i mean probably to an extent.

Will i be eating almond butter again? NO NO NO NO im just gonna avoid almonds as a whole. I do use the almond milk for some cooking and i havent noticed anything there but i think its a good idea to just not eat them. I will still be using it for the chicken casserole but it gets spread out and diluted so much i woulnd't know if its enough to cause problems.

Had to step away from the post for a minute cause of all the it that shall not be named talk.

But still not hungry. its been a while now since ive had a complete meal but my days off start after this shift so im gonna figure something out. Maybe ill just hibernate till wednesday LOL sure does make whole30 much easier when eating is just off the table. I didnt even excited this mornin when i smelled the bacon cookin /sadface.

I still miss cheese though  

Id survive if i could never have it again, but it would be a bummer.

My blood sugar is now 115 which is over 100 points lower than it was when i started. Normal is below 100 so im inching my way there. Honestly im currently debating if i want to bother with a reintroduction right now or if on day 31 or 32 im just gonna use a meal to eat some nachos - which would be corn, beans, and dairy. then just start another 30 days to keep my sugar going down.

I figure ill either find out that nachos are a problem for me or that they are not i can go happily into the next 30 days knowing that. Then probably every five to ten days actually do a specific food group day to reintroduce.

I think because my health was becomin such an issue i have an advantage in that i was really close to rock bottom around the board for me. The mental shifts that have been happening are making me realize i have no other option but to get my eating under control. It basically killed my sugar dragon which is very suprrising. the dragon has always been a problem for me in the past. I craved sweets and any time i broke a diet it was for sugar. Thats not happening this time. I guess even it was sick of what was going - poor dragon.

Not just that but all of that eating had put in a perpetual cycle where i didnt feel well, didnt think well, and wasnt productive in the ways i want to be productive. I want to accomplish alot still, i want to be living my best life, i still have dreams and goals i want to reach - none of which can happen if im not fueling my body in any kind of deliberate way. Ive stopped the mindless snacking basically cold turkey - i was only snacking out of boredom anyway and im not hungry near as often since im actually eating food that fills me up instead of just leaving me hungry an hour or two later. 

It needs to be a lifestyle change - my relationship with food. I dont plan on eating whole 30 forever (never have) i dont plan on going paleo or doing anythin super fancy unless it turns out that food is indeed a big problem with me then of course ill have to adapt lol. Its important that i know whether eating something will bring the dragon back to life or if there is a food that makes me just binge like a crazy monster but i wouldn't know that if i avoid them all all the time - since that would be setting me up for failure.

for example i know if i want icecream we should only buy one pint. If we buy more than that i suddenly want icecream all the time and i will eat it all the time. So it can only come into the house in small amounts. Thatsa good thing to know! its also why i dont buy quarts of icecream.

Totally circling back to nachos here  It makes me wonder that since ive been thinking about nachos the entire time if its a bad thing to get some at the end of the whole 30. Will it throw me off the wagon? Will i say screw it all and just start eating everything in sight? Is it okay since ive had time to think about the repercussions of eating nachos and its an impulse thoughtless eating decision? HMMMM cheese beans and corn are all things that i would like to be rotated through my diet anyway. i love corn. beans are great for chili and as is. cheese is good around the board. Would i be happy just cooking at home and avoiding all that delivered junk and high sugar added products? I think i would be if it means im not gonna end up in the hospital with kidney failure before im 40.

I started the whole30 to reset how i eat. My habits were atrocious to say the least and im super freaking happy that ive actually taken the time to stop and think about my feelings around the food and i recommend everyone do it - whether publically or in private of course so that your mind is actively engaged in the process of why. Its ultimately easy to follow a set of instructions without ever giving any thought to anything past that. Im not saying whole 30 is easy of course but i think one gets a lot more out of the process if you know WHY its not easy for you. (did that make sense? lol)

Okay sorry about all the ramblings lol

[MadyVanilla]

Reading your last two posts, it is so clear that you have shifted your mindset, that you are doing the hard cognitive/emotional/psychological work as well as changing what goes in your mouth.  I once read that when we eat the Standard American Diet we are in a state of chronic and diffuse inflammation (which is actually a barrier of protection) and that our body takes an enormous amount of resources to maintain the inflammation and protect our cells from the attack of that SAD diet.  The resources wear out much more quickly, and we get diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, etc at a younger age as a result.  When we begin to feed ourselves with good food, the body can begin to relax a little bit and isn't in the constant state of protection.  As inflammation decreases, our cells become more sensitive to the environment we are in - our taste buds are a good example.  But what also happens is that foods that maybe didn't seem to bother us before begin to irritate those sensitive cells because that blanket of inflammatory protection is no longer there.  I don't know if that makes sense with what you are experiencing or not.  But if it does, maybe your new flare is almost like a rebound effect to your better choices, a stage in the journey.  Getting through this, you'll be continuing to increase your health, but might have another flare in the future as your body continues to reach towards the perfect balance of sensitivity.  Your glucose numbers are impressive and support that you are on the right track!   An aside, I have a friend who was allergy tested and found to be allergic to just almonds, no other nuts.   

7 hours ago, Blueautumn said:

Positive note - i havent had any fire vomit indigestion since ive started whole30 which is freaking amazing because that sh*t sucks.

Seriously, this statement should be your go-to mantra, post it everywhere, lol!  Fire vomit indigestion sounds awful and not experiencing it may just be the best NSV ever!  

You journey is a long one, but an inspiring one.  You have so much to gain by continuing on this path.  Thank you so much for continuing to post here - I'm learning from you!