The Seduction of LadyM Returns


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Day 34 Just back from a country drive with BFF that started in the morning. I packed a thermos and snacks and ate what I brought. BFF hit the fast food and bakeries. He's supportive of what I'm d

Day 52 I have a bit more of an appetite today than I can remember for some time. That must be a sign of my continued recovery from COVID--hooray for that! Feeling tired, though, after a fora

The distance makes it hard on both.  The years prior to marrying my hubby he was the sole care giver for his mom as her health failed for three years.  Within that year his last member of his family h

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Day 21

Even though FitBit only gave me a "Fair" score for my sleep last night, I feel especially good about it. Was mindful about screens late in the day, went for a walk after dinner and then no tv after, got into bed with a real book well before 9, and slept through the night until my alarm went off at 5. I have successfully returned to my preferred monastic life schedule. Which is only possible because I live alone and theaters are closed for the moment. Otherwise I'm out late reviewing shows and on my Dude's bartending schedule. It's healthier this way. But not nearly the same kind of fun. Le sigh.

Today begins phase two of this W30 which lasts until Oct. 18 when phase three kicks in. I'm staying curious and open to the process, grateful to have guidance from my doc; I'm also doing my best to not get attached to the outcome and stay present to the process.

My favorite NSV at the moment that I haven't mentioned is I'm back to a regular, daily meditation practice. Years ago I committed to a 30-day meditation challenge, and it transformed everything. It's impossible to describe and also impossible to understand why I ever fall off the wagon because meditation makes everything better. It's the mental and emotional balance and stability that comes from W30 in overdrive. And I need it like a plant needs water and sunlight.

So, I'm giving it to myself. And this is a reminder that it's as crucial a component to this human experiment as food, sleep, and exercise. 

M1: eggs, bacon, potatoes, sweet potato toast with avocado

M2: pulled pork on patacones with guac and lime

M3: bbq pork on sweet potato with kraut

Planning for a walk in the woods and either barre or yoga plus some yoga nidra today. I have a long to-do list, but it all seems more manageable the more time and space I make to tend to myself. Grateful for an early morning to create the foundation that supports it all.

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Day 23

These days I'm much more focused on things other than food and my well being, and therefore even more grateful for the structure and habits of this program.

I'm thick into work, the process of buying a house, and my grandmother's imminent death. I'm the family member always called on for writing the obituary and delivering the eulogy, so I've been at work on those things as well as preparing to travel several states away for the service. My grandmother would be 102 in November, so her death has been a long time coming, but in some ways, having had more time with her makes the grief more intense.

Anyway, shifting macros slightly changes a bit today in phase two of this w30, and since I'm posting here, I'm going to stop logging my meals that won't look as close to the template as a newcomer should see. Staying curious and open to this process, however, and rooting for good health and the support I need through this challenging time.

Spoiler alert: I don't think the challenging times are going to subside anytime soon for any of us. Best to hunker down, keep calm, and carry on with the best tools we have.

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Day 24

Waiting for someone to die is the strangest thing. I've done it a few times in my life. I hope not to have to do it much, if at all, from this point forward. Le sigh.

Still strong in my meditation and walking-in-the-woods game, and feeling good about that. Real self care as part of my daily routine is so easy and simple when I'm in the groove, and shit just totally falls apart when I let it go and it's a brutal struggle to get back. This is yet another reason why I'm glad to be committed to a longer stretch this time around. Once in the groove, it's easier to stay in the good groovy groove.

My East Coast friends are planning to come out for Thanksgiving to help me get settle in the (eeeeeeeek!) new house. I'm thrilled. That's my birthday week, and I'm so excited to create a new space and a holiday for my beloveds there. I just ordered a turkey. I will still be on my W30 then, and it won't be a big deal. They're diabetics and always having to manage their food themselves, so it'll be all good.

I think it's hilarious I'm already planning Thanksgiving. But that's what happens this time of year. I used to get anxious about the holidays come September given family drama and difficulty, but with both parents gone as of last year, I'm released from all that. Last year I spent the holidays alone in Costa Rica and it was fabulous. 

Anyway, still here. Still making it up as I go along. Grateful for another day.

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Day 26

Gram passed yesterday.

I'll be traveling to Wisconsin on Sunday to eulogize her Monday at the service. I'm bringing all my food just to be on the safe side. It's usually a real shit show when the family gathers in terms of sweets and cheese and crackers and cocktails and beer. This is my life's greatest food challenge, I swear. But I've navigated it before, and I'll do it again successfully, In some ways it will be easier with such clearly defined parameters. I am emboldened by the rules to say "no".

Everything is going fine, though I was so exhausted last night I went to bed at 8 p.m.

Today I'll be prepping food, doing laundry, tying up loose ends with my classes in preparation for being gone. Hoping the dude will find someone to stay with his mom so he can go with me, but if not, I'll let it go. My focus now is on celebrating and grieving the loss of one of my life's greatest loves and most profound influences.

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Day 30

No big ticker tape parade over here, and I'm afraid my whirlwind travel and doctor-ordered macros shift has robbed be somewhat of any tiger blood that may have been coming my way. But I'm still 100% compliant, and that's certainly something to celebrate.

I brought a cooler full of all the food I ate, and though it was a little bit of a topic of conversation and cajoling, it wasn't that big of a deal. And I think my healthy choices also rubbed off on my travel companion, my bff with whom I have a longstanding history of indulging in food and drink to excess. So, that's an added bonus.

My Gram's funeral was beautiful, and the eulogy I wrote and delivered was well received. It actually was one of the best trips I've ever had there. No doubt BFF's presence helped a lot.

Anyway, now I'm back and fighting fatigue as well as maybe a cold, but I feel 95% better than I did Monday night when we got back, so that's promising. I have a lot of catching up to do for work and rest, and it's a cool rainy day here, so perfect for crawling back into bed, which I just might do shortly.

Little else to report. Still doing the thing. Still planning on doing the thing for many days to come. I am definitely feeling good about my progress. My body feels slimmer, less bloated, and more like my own; food is fuel and little more; the clear parameters of what I am and am not eating and drinking continue to create nearly effortless abstinence and therefore a whole lot of space for me to focus my energy elsewhere. So interesting to me how removal of choice is such a powerful tool. An ironic sense of freedom.

Right now I'm grateful for it.

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Day 31

I picked up Food Freedom Forever yesterday and have nearly finished it for the second time. There's really some good, helpful stuff in there, especially as it supports the need to do reintroductions every time you do a W30 reset. I most certainly will do so eventually. Either in December, when I have completed my 105 days; or, if I feel like celebrating my birthday and T-Gives (both in the same week) with a glass of wine, I may end my W30 then just for that, and then continue on with my W30 macros experiment at least through December as planned. Time will tell.

I'm finally starting to get some energy back after returning from Wisconsin. Really realizing how much that trip took it out of me. Doing my best to practice exquisite self care and not rely on excess caffeine or anything else as a crutch.

OK. Back to work. Looking forward to having scallops today for the first time in months!

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Day 32

Ended up going in for an Infrared sauna session yesterday. Just couldn't get warm. That felt really good. So glad things are opened up again enough so I can do that again now that the weather's turning. We'll see how long it lasts. One never knows what each day will bring.

Today was pilates and a long walk in the woods followed by a Trader Joe's and Costco run. I'm well stocked, and that always makes me feel happy.

I have zero plans this weekend, and it's wonderful to have that vista. I may take a nap this afternoon. It's a perfectly cold and dreary day. My bed beckons.

Happy FriYay, friends!

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I have an unexpected free afternoon and decided to read the log from my first W30 in the spring of 2013. WOW. I am in SUCH a different place now, and can now see how Whole 30 really kicked off major positive shifts in my relationship to food and my body and health overall.

Also, SO MUCH has changed in my life in the last 7.5 years. The deaths of my mother, father, and grandmother. Tenure. A new primary relationship. Becoming debt free and purchasing a house. Becoming a yoga instructor. Not to mention the global pandemic. 

Though what hasn't changed much is my weight, which is funny to me. So much energy on that and it's more or less been stable. That's actually a good thing, and something to remember. I can attribute the entrance of Whole 30 into my life with transforming my eating such that though there are weight fluctuations, they're not wild. No yo-yoing here.

Rereading was very worthwhile. Makes me excited about continuing. Though a little sad that the forum isn't the lively community it once was. Oh well.

I hope folks who are new here realize they can always come back and see how their first Whole 30 went and how much, ultimately, it changes you. So great.

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Day 33

Not much to report here. I ate a little more fruit yesterday than I wish I had, but not really feeling any ill effects. I had an intense pilates session on the reformer as well as a long walk in the woods, though, so I imagine my body was just hungry, and as we know, sugars, even fruit sugars, are a readily available temptation. It's all good.

Having a lazy day, but took the opportunity to bake some foil packets of wild-caught cod with veggies (fennel with sliced lemon and tomatoes is a new fave), so dinner is ready hours ahead of time. I may go for a long walk in a bit when I'm tired of reading. Sometimes down time without expectation is the best. Oh, especially because I had a massage this morning. BFF worked his magic on my funky shoulder. Yay!

Happy weekend, all!

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Day 34

Just back from a country drive with BFF that started in the morning. I packed a thermos and snacks and ate what I brought. BFF hit the fast food and bakeries. He's supportive of what I'm doing but not yet interested in making changes for himself. It's all good.

So, still on track and feeling good. Enjoying a lazy weekend. Loving fall.

Watched a couple of interesting documentaries yesterday about paleo and lchf diets for healing. Feeling more and more recommitted to this lifestyle long term. Convinced it really is how human bodies achieve optimal health. Really contemplating how to create my own food freedom forever and realizing that a much longer, slower reintroduction phase is going to be important for me. Rereading my first log from 2013 reminded me that I ended it by eating and drinking all the things on a Memorial Weekend celebration. Eager to do a careful reintro this time and really pay attention to how each food, not just food group, affects me. But I don't plan to do that until December.

Had a food nightmare last night. My first one this round!

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Day 35

Enjoyed a walk and IR sauna today. Preparing for a zoom meeting and teaching tomorrow has me a little stressed. Working through it. I confronted a couple of people about not communicating with me and it affected my job. I hate having to confront people, but I find I do it more gracefully while on W30, if that makes any sense. Like I'm more willing to just deal with things head on.

Shrimp and scallops today. Digging eating more wild-caught seafood right now. And received a shipment of my favorite green tea. Sometimes it's the little things, no?

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Day 36

I'm flush with shipments from US Wellness Meats and Imperfect Foods that arrived today. So looking forward to a grass fed steak!!

Big teaching day for me, but it's half over already. I got in a brisk walk this morning and plan to get lost in the woods after my afternoon class. Time for some nature therapy. Perfect sunny, temperate weather this week. So aware the snow and gray skies will be here soon enough and it's time to make the most of fall weather!

Not much else to report. I just keep on keeping on. Didn't sleep enough last night, but that's likely the anxiety of having to prep and teach today. I'll catch up, and add in more yoga nidra. Bliss. . . . . 

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@LadyM Glad to know how well this works for you that you have done it so many times that you can't count them. :) 

I have Hashimoto's thyroiditis and no thyroid and had thyroid cancer. Much of my life has revolved around trying to live with inflammation. I am hoping this will work! I, too, love the food. I am a foodie anyway and love trying new things. Whole30 has gotten me out of a food rut. I am eating to the season as well and trying all kinds of squash. 


Are you still trying to sell your house and move? What a life situation! I guess we all have them at times. Wishing you the best this go 'round.

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Thanks @Jennifer Jensen! Wishing you the best as well. I think W30, sometimes with some tweaks (some need AIP protocol to see/feel magic), is hugely helpful for thyroid autoimmune issues. It certainly can't hurt. Kabocha squash is my fave, btw ;)

Buying my first house, so not selling; however, awaiting the appraisal, so fingers crossed this sale goes through. I'm so ready to be in my own space and have a garden and maybe a dog. . . . 

Definitely happy with this round in ways I wouldn't have dreamed of previously. Really committed to the long term way of life this time.

@decker_bear I finally made that paleo worchestershire sauce recipe you recommended and oh, my it's delish! Thank you, thank you!

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12 hours ago, Jennifer Jensen said:

@LadyM I need some recipes/tips for making kabocha squash. Mine was dry. I have loved the acorn squash, though.

It definitely is a drier squash, but that's partly why I like it. It's dense and has a firmer bite.

I just roast it, leaving the skin on, dousing it in fat and a sweet-savory spice mix like Mel Joulwan's sunrise spice. And It makes delicious soup, too, if that interests you.

I hope you keep enjoying experimenting with winter squashes! I just love this time of year and the bounty they bring. I love them so much they're easy to overdo with my sweet tooth. But even then, it's a better alternative than what I used to do to satisfy my sweets cravings. . . . 

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Day 37

I was so hungry yesterday I ate an extra meal. TOM is due in less than a week, so I'm just calling it normal and celebrating that I listened to my body.

Today I'm playing with Intermittent Fasting. It's part of my experiment going forward. I'm also reading up on keto, and though I've played with both in the past with lackluster results, I'm convinced again that it might be something worthwhile if I'm to stave off diabetes, the thing that killed my Mama seven years ago. I know I have a predisposition, and I'm willing to do what it takes to live healthier and happier longer. 

Anyway, this morning has been a big cook up for me after yesterday's focus on teaching. I slept in, journaled, meditated, then got to work. Baked orange roughy with fennel and tomatoes, crock pot chicken with salsa, shrimp with garlic green beans. So happy to have plenty of meals on hand. Friday is my day to replenish what needs replenishing after pilates and a long walk in the woods, but I have plenty until then. That makes me feel good.

Going to soak in a hot tub with BFF, hit the library, and refill my water jugs. Yoga on tap tonight via zoom with one of my favorite instructors. I signed up for a month-long of Wednesday nights with her. It'll be a very nice treat!

Look at that: a treat that has nothing to do with food. That's what I'm aiming to fill my life with. :)

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Day 38

Now deliberately playing with IF, and so far so good. Grateful for the drawn-out process this time around. Learning so much about myself and my body with little-to-no white knuckling. I think it's the cumulative effect of all the years of W30s and experimentation. Good to know I'm still learning--and teachable!

Not entirely sure what my meals will be today, but I have plenty of options prepared and ready to go. It's amazing to me how returning to W30 began with a renewed food obsession and now I've wended my way through to not really thinking about food much at all. It's a good thing.

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Day 39

According to FitBit, I'm three days out from TOM, so my cruddy mood is, I guess, right on time, unfortunately. :angry:

However, I'll keep on keeping on, and eat some delicious grass fed beef. So very low energy right now, though. Pilates was kind of disastrous this morning. I think I need rest. 

I may have a nap, actually, before I do lunch, an infrared sauna, and a walk in nature. The dude asked me to travel to see him, but I suspect that will be disastrous as well, so I'll probably just stay home and rest. The thought of driving for four hours to watch him take care of his mother makes me want to poke my eye with a stick. So, yeah. I'd better go back to bed where I can't hurt anybody. . . . 

Happy Fri-YAY to all of you not currently completely unstable.;)

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On 10/9/2020 at 12:14 PM, BabyBear said:

Ah hormones they bring out the devil in me.   At least you have an understanding of why you feel this way.  As my mom always said, if you know the reasoning you can adjust accordingly.  Sending you happy thoughts for next few days.  

Thank you @BabyBear! I think it worked!

Day 40

I did end up going to see the Dude for about 24 hours and it was a good thing. Now I'm home again. Packed all my food, ate all my food, and am now ready for bed. We had a nice visit and spent some time hiking and enjoying the fall colors. It was good for both of us.

Happy weekend, all!

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8 minutes ago, LadyM said:

I did end up going to see the Dude for about 24 hours and it was a good thing.

I’m so glad you had a good visit.  Sounds like you came home in a better frame I’d mind and lighter spirits.  I’m sure it nourished his soul too.  Being the care giver to an ailing parent takes such an emotional, mental, and physical toll on a person.  I’m sure your presence provided a small sense of rest and escape from all of that.  

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