What to do with an Unsupportive Partner

[jrtalber]

My partner is really unsupportive of me doing the Whole30 (did round 1 in August, but did not reintro well, so started again on the group Whole30 September 14).  Since we have been together I have lost significant weight (70 lbs) and my partner believes I am too skinny now and he is not attracted to me anymore.  

I used a whole food based diet  and macro counting, along with exercise, to lose weight, but when I decided to do the Whole30, it was not for weight loss.  I actually have no idea what I weigh and did not weigh myself or take before/after measurement/pictures BECAUSE its not about weight loss.

My mother died this summer, and I ate everything in sight (lots and lots of sugar).  Joint pain and injuries ensued, and I knew I was out of control and unhappy.  I am feeling in control for the first time since my mom died and am feeling some hope to move forward.  

I do want to move into a successful re-intro and my Food Freedom, but I don't want to just gain weight back so he is attracted to me.  I love him but feel like that's an unfair ask.  I am trying to build up muscle, but it is slow going and he says there is not progress. He ironically says that I don't eat "real food" on the Whole30.

Any tips/thoughts how to navigate this?  He asked for an open relationship last night.

[ShannonM816]

I am sorry you're having to deal with this. I think it's a little beyond the scope of this forum, as it doesn't seem to be so much a Whole30 issue as a relationship issue. 

You can definitely find support here for the Whole30 part, and people who will likely at least try to be supportive and understanding of the relationship aspect, but I think you probably ought to find someone with more expertise, like a therapist or counselor or maybe a trusted preacher/priest if you're involved in a church. Couples counseling could be very useful, but whether you get your partner to agree to that or not, you ought to seek out someone you can talk to one on one. It can be very useful to have a neutral third party to help you view things from a different angle.

One thing to keep in mind is that his feelings about you working to be the best you can be are not your fault. Those are his feelings that he needs to deal with. You just keep trying to be the best you that you can be.

[SugarcubeOD]

I sent you a private message - I am really sorry this is happening and also so sorry to hear of the loss of your mom.