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5 hours ago, Rebecca001 said:

also one thing I don’t have that you ladies seem to have,  is any pressure to eat from anyone. I don’t care if I’m ‘that person’, I will happily not eat at a party, or take my own food or say no to things.

Same... I feel zero feelings of guilt or shame or a need to be pleasing to others around food... If I'm the only one that has to deal with the reprecussions of eating the item, then I'm the only one that gets to weigh in on the decision.  I get that is MUCH harder to do for some people - I'm not a people pleaser by any stretch of the imagination which I imagine makes it much easier for me.  

I think the one good thing I can say to help others that have this struggle that comes out of my experience with being 'that person' as you say @Rebecca001 is that my friends still invite me around, my family still likes me and there seems to be absolutely no poor side effects from declining food or bringing my own.  Hopefully that helps those who struggle with this?

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It's been busy in here! I've had three very long work days, so no time for anything fun. Eventually things will ease up, surely. I have never been this busy at work... I decided not to do intros

And let’s not forget that when someone says ‘no thank you, I am trying to eat less X’ everyone looks down at their big plate of X and thinks ‘maybe I should eat less X too’ (and deep down they probabl

@becs what an incredible view!! Glad you’ve had a better day.  I ordered a Well Fed cook book after reading about it on here and I’m excited for that to arrive. Today I’ve made a slow cooked curry

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14 minutes ago, SugarcubeOD said:

I'm not a people pleaser by any stretch of the imagination which I imagine makes it much easier for me.  

This made me smile! The issue for me isn’t so much the people pleasing, it’s the family gatherings and holidays steeped in tradition and all about the food - my family is Italian and German, my husbands is Italian. Food that I used to eat! I find that many people are not knowledgeable about hidden food ingredients, and don’t know (because they didn’t need to) that there is gluten in soy sauce or sugar in pepperoni! And overall, I think most people do not make simple food where you don’t have to “try”  to be gluten-or-whatever-free. Lots of casseroles out there!  The easiest for me, is in fact, a party or lunch with catering, or as I like to say “component food.” Everything on the side, make your own Mexican plate, build a salad with toppings of your choice or even a sandwich and toss the cheese and bread.
 

For me  “that girl” also means the person that everyone is worried about even though I’m not as worried as I know I won’t starve and always bring my own food. But, as we discussed before, people are weird about food, and if they are the one doing the cooking (and the pleasing) they get stressed. 

It is great to have a group here that “gets it” I appreciate the support as we can discuss our challenges in a thoughtful way! 

This picture sums it up for me today! 

9E829DE3-836E-4E76-A1DB-99C1C5DFB444.jpeg

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1 hour ago, christine19 said:

The issue for me isn’t so much the people pleasing, it’s the family gatherings and holidays steeped in tradition and all about the food - my family is Italian and German, my husbands is Italian.

Our family has very little food tradition (save for Christmas baking) so I definitely don't envy you.. especially coming from and having relatives where food is love and there's just a complete delta between generations... not sure if that's how it is for you and obviously there's some stereotyping because I'm sure not every Italian family grandma is a 'feeder' but it's become a stereotype from a level of reality.

I definitely enjoy this group.  I like hearing what people are working on, struggling with or winning at - we cannot as human beings have every experience ourselves so it's nice to be able to share with like minded people.  It's also nice to see where we might be having it easier than some folks in some spots or harder in other spots - it creates such a nice feeling of balance to hear our differences in how we interact with food.

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And let’s not forget that when someone says ‘no thank you, I am trying to eat less X’ everyone looks down at their big plate of X and thinks ‘maybe I should eat less X too’ (and deep down they probably know it, especially if x is pudding) - but they haven’t done this process so it seems like a massive jump for them. They feel they need to defend their, and your, right to eat X. When people ask ‘but what do you eat??’ I do remind them that I came to this from a place of no dairy, very few carbs/rice/pasta etc, I’d done several stints of sugar free, I train daily, I do yoga daily.... this was a small step for me. Starting from scratch is a huge step. But I’m a bit like @SugarcubeOD in that if it’s me carrying the burden (wearing the swimsuit on the beach) then it’s me who gets to decide! My husbands family already think I’m bohemian and slightly deranged (“you don’t eat cheese? Or cake? But you’re so thin” <I’m not>)  so it’s very normal for me now; my own family are lifelong dieters and mum is W30, my niece is allergic to dairy and soy and my brothers family are all vegan so (if and when we ever can meet up again) I think we’ll all just bring our own food!! 
 

anyway it’s Friday today! I got paid today! The sun is set to be shining (unseasonably warm here after our freezing few weeks). Our lockdown is starting to be lifted from 8th March. Last night James and I booked our summer holiday. Things feel, slightly, like they are improving. 
 

I weighed  myself today also. I was 10st 2lb (142lb). End of December i was 10.7 so I have lost a couple of pounds but I have really tried this time for it not to be about the numbers. I have a long list of NSVs and the scales are going back in the loft again until Easter! 

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Also, I don’t know if I’m allowed to share a link to a podcast but if mods say I can, I will. It’s a lifestyle podcast I love by a very smooth voiced, handsome English doctor (if that’s your thing?) but this week he is interviewing some foodie guru about Real food and I thought it might be of interest to us here. I plan to listen to it today and then I can post the link if if I’m allowed? The whole series is very good, all ‘life enriching’ topics about health etc 

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21 hours ago, Rebecca001 said:

I guess my point is that rather than me condemning perfectly innocent foods to the FWNB list forever, there comes a point where I’m forced to actually look at the braking mechanism itself and resolve the issue.

Such good insight! I know this to be very difficult work but it is worth it if you can figure it out. I have good understanding as to why I have a lot of automatic behaviours (I've had some excellent therapists!) - not all of those behaviours are food related but many are and many are interconnected with food. What I've learned to tolerate is that I can't always change those automatic reactions that drive behaviour - some of them were developed in my precognitive state and I can't go back far enough to access the information I need to change the speed of many reactions - they're just going to happen. What I have learned to do is to be able to slow it down, recognize it as it's happening and make better choices in the moment - it's a lot of work but totally worth it. The Rules help me a lot and, I'm actually okay with a huge pile of "never" foods. The pile of ALWAYS foods is delicious and equally massive so, I'm not going to starve. LOL

Cadbury Creme Eggs are very popular here but they're too sweet for me. Now a Curly Wurly - that's another thing all together :)

 

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10 hours ago, Rebecca001 said:

Also, I don’t know if I’m allowed to share a link to a podcast but if mods say I can, I will. It’s a lifestyle podcast I love by a very smooth voiced, handsome English doctor (if that’s your thing?) but this week he is interviewing some foodie guru about Real food and I thought it might be of interest to us here. I plan to listen to it today and then I can post the link if if I’m allowed? The whole series is very good, all ‘life enriching’ topics about health etc 

Definitely!  Feel free to share anything like that! (we usually only restrict links when it's blatant ongoing self promotion or spam). 

Things you can link: recipes, podcasts, articles, photos of cute dogs/cats... go forth and link :)

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I’ve had a good week focusing on lighter meals - more salads for dinner and less snacks. And I worked out 6 days in a row - testing out those knees and all that jumping and no pain! Yay! Thinking about running (really it’s jogging) again once the weather warms up (I have a very long driveway so I don’t have to leave my property). 
 

I’ve determined that stevia gives me a headache. Not when it’s part of my protein drinks, but when I add it to my tea at night. It’s happened 3 times so that’s what it is. Done with that it doesn’t even taste sweet anymore. 
 

I missed the booze the most during Whole30, so tonight’s test is a spritzer, Italian Pinot Grigio with lime seltzer. Cheers! 

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@christine19 that’s brilliant. Great NSVs! 
 

Saturday morning here and we drank champagne last night (just for fun as well, no celebrations!) as my husband was given it as a belated Christmas gift when he went into the office for the first time this year! So that was a nice treat, although I find this morning I am ravenous upon waking and have that slight hollow head and sloshy tummy feeling. I definitely definitely feel less yuck when I drink white rather than red though. 
 

I’m planning a long run on Sunday (I set myself a mini target to run 21kms 21 times in 2021, which is once every 2.5 weeks so my next one is due!) - so tonight I will not be drinking as I am looking forward to heading out as the sun rises tomorrow morning. Big shop today, my well fed book finally arrived so I’ve planned a few bits from that and have my menu all sorted for the week. It definitely helped to plan and prep my breakfasts and lunches last week and that will become even more important after March 8th when we return to school and I am back in the office full time. I’m so excited for that though, I want some normality back! 

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10 hours ago, Rebecca001 said:

I definitely definitely feel less yuck when I drink white rather than red though.

Red wine is worse for me too. The white wine went down easy - I had 1/3 bottle mixed with seltzer and no headache or stomach issues so that was good. But definitely had a buzz going! And didn’t feel like working out of course, so took the day off and just lounging around on a grey rainy Saturday. My husband is making a stuffed turkey tenderloin - stuffing is chicken sausage, green apple, celery and onion held together with almond flour. I’ll make some sort of potatoes to go with and we will have a lot of leftovers. 

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Mmmm the stuffing sounds delicious! 
 

my food today has been really disappointing. I made some salt and pepper chicken thigh fillets but they ended up quite dry and a spicy butternut squash purée thing from Well fed which was actually just really not a nice combination of flavours. So the two combined were not great. I’ve tried to eat more carbs/fruit today as I will be running tomorrow fasted, and need to carb load but I should have just had baked sweet potato like I normally do instead of being adventurous! 
 

I feel quite grumpy and depressed today. And tired. I think it’s related to my drinking last night. Although I did have a sausage today that has sodium metabisulphate in it- could it be that? I had it at lunchtime and quite quickly felt really irritable and have been very grumpy all afternoon. Interesting! 

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I turn my back for 20 hours and come back to find SO MUCH GREAT STUFF here! I love this little group!

Lots of good thinking here around saying "no" and being "that person". I appreciate the sharing of perspectives as it help me work through my own issues with standing firm on my own ground around this issue. I defintitely have some people pleasing tendancies that are rididculous when I examine them closely. Like @SugarcubeOD said - it's me who suffers from my inability to say no. I'm the one who's going to suffer the gastric pain and inflammation so why on earth do I say yes?

I only have 2 people I say yes to when I want to say no. Everyone else is easy.  With my sister, I have had to work hard to overcome a lot of family trauma issues to rebuild a relationship with her. I did all the heavy lifting to get her to come around and we are doing great! It was worth the effort and I don't want to waste what time we have left in a contentious way. With my daughter - she is Canadian-Australian and I only see her for the months I am there or when she can come to Canada for shorter visits - again - our limited time is so precious and I don't want to waste a second of it. So I have to decide if these are good reasons to feel ill. Rules, amirite?

Tomorrow I am going to my sister's for dinner. I am bringing the pre-dinner snacks - 2 kinds of homemade crackers, baba ganoush and salmon pate. All made with compliant ingredients. I don't think I will drink - I haven't yet had alcohol and I am not sure when I will drink - needs to be worth it. And I will have to gauge the food when I am at the table. I already know asking for consideration ahead isn't going to work. 

Wish me luck!!

 

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4 hours ago, Lorna from Canada said:

LOL - I read this and go "there's stuffing? How did I miss that???" Yes, that stuffing does sound delicious!

LOL The turkey tenderloin with stuffing was delicious! I actually prefer the almond flour as a binder over bread. The stuffing also tastes good straight out of the pan. 
 

Wishing you very good luck with the dinner @Lorna from Canada if it were me and the food wasn’t appropriate I would just drink instead hahahaha 

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On 2/26/2021 at 1:49 AM, Rebecca001 said:

so I have lost a couple of pounds but I have really tried this time for it not to be about the numbers. I have a long list of NSVs and the scales are going back in the loft again until Easter! 

Congrats on your scale victory @Rebecca001 sometimes you do need that motivation or confirmation - like a report card! I do think it’s healthier to weigh less frequently, as we have been doing. It’s a challenge and work in progress, but for me less defeating then getting on the scale daily. 

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I had a good day today, did a very long run (25km) and then the rest of the day I have chilled out and cooked a lovely roast pork and all the sides. I didn’t eat much all day but by dinner I was ravenous and gosh that dinner was blooming amazing! 
 

I’ve prepped some bits for the week; I have a leftover dinner and some cold pork for the next few days lunches/breakfasts and I got 3 cauliflowers (which are oddly expensive here right now) reduced to 20p each on Friday so I made 2 lots of rice and froze them and one lot to keep in the fridge as a salad type thing (with spring onion, peas and red pepper) 

I’m looking forward to the week ahead; I’m feeling really on top of my game right now (barring my weird grumpy afternoon yesterday which I think- genuinely- was a result of sulphite in my sausages). I feel really optimistic about March too, we have an end in sight to our lockdown and spring in the air. All good. 
 

have a great week everyone! 

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Well - dinner at my sister's is in the bag and I did okay! I chose not to drink - knowing I would be eating sugar, dairy and gluten for the first time since Dec 31 was enough. Didn't need to throw alcohol into the mix. I did very well - ate the compliant ingredient appetizers that I provided then filled my plate with roasted root veg and potato. The protein was a gluggy bread based stuffed pork chop of which I ate half. The kicker was dessert - she made my favourite raspberry pie and I had a very large slice. It was totally, TOTALLY worth it. I eschewed the ice cream (that was difficult to do with raspberry pie on offer!) and am really glad I did. 

Overall I felt pretty good last night and slept soundly so am pleased with that. Hubs didn't fare so well - he indulged in the ice cream (first dairy for him since Jan 1) and was in terrible gastric distress. He knows from previous W30s that he's lactose intolerant - I suspect he's a slow learner ;). He's feeling better this morning and said his sleep was good as well so - we've survived. I have several unopened packs of cheese in my refrigerator (leftover from Christmas) - I'm not sure how to get rid of them since out foodbank doesn't take refrigerated foods. Eating them is increasingly out of the question given that both Hubs and I are lactose intolerant. Any suggestions? You should know that I HATE beyond HATE wasting food. I have a mini-meltdown when I find a half rotten lemon lost in the back of the fridge. SO, what to do with $50 worth of cheese? 

I can't believe I haven't had any alcohol for 2 months - this is a very strange but I had no trouble saying no to wine yesterday. I trust myself to know when it will be worth it to have a glass - right now, it's just easy to say no.

I hope everyone's Monday's are going well. I'm off to a good start - Happy March!

 

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13 minutes ago, Lorna from Canada said:

I HATE beyond HATE wasting food. I have a mini-meltdown when I find a half rotten lemon lost in the back of the fridge. SO, what to do with $50 worth of cheese? 

Glad you had an enjoyable dinner and felt good! Poor Hubs though! Do you have a neighbor or relative to give your cheese to? I just gave two boxes of expensive GF veggie burgers (loaded with corn) to my kids-in-law. I hated the idea of throwing them out and they were thrilled. 
 

My pistachio experiment (meaning not eating any) is working great. I haven’t had any in over a week and my face is visibly thinner and I feel less puffy. Weird but they must be an issue for me. On purpose I have not stopped eating almonds or almond butter so I know it was definitely the pistachios. 
 

This weekend, I did have some more white wine spritzers with no bad effects, very proud to say that I had wine three days in a row and there is still more left in the bottle! 

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5 minutes ago, christine19 said:

Poor Hubs though!

Yes - but, trust me on this one, he isn't the only one who suffers through his gastric distress if you catch my drift (no pun intended!)

Now you're making me think I should have brought the cheese to my sister! Brilliant in retrospect as usual. I could offer it to my daughter but she's eating more vegetarian these days in protest over factory farming so, I don't know if artisanal cheese made from happy cows would make her list or not. I only know 3 of my neighbours - none of them are home during this pandemic! They returned to their home countries around the same time I was returning to my home country from Australia a year ago. I could post on our condo's FB page to see if anyone wants unopened packages of cheese.

13 minutes ago, christine19 said:

very proud to say that I had wine three days in a row and there is still more left in the bottle! 

THAT's an awesome victory Christine! WOO HOO look at you go! 

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Today I have been SO HUNGRY!! I think the knock on effect of my long run on Sunday and a good few weeks of only eating meals and no snacks. I still didn’t eat snacks today but my meals were humongous and I could still eat now. I cooked a tray of chicken portions at lunch and I ate quite a few of them. For dinner I had salad and brined chicken from the Well Fed book (genuinely the most delicious tender chicken I have tasted in a long time) and I feel totally stuffed (in a good way) and above all I feel ‘refuelled’). I am mid cycle according to my health app and I also think it’s partly to do with that, I do find increased appetite around the time of ovulation. 
 

I’m genuinely feeling really good at the moment, like I’m breathing fresher air and just generally buzzing on life! I’m running well and training hard, eating really well and I think fully starting to experience what it’s like to be nearly 8 months into this way of life now. 
 

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I’m feeling much better about the food, it’s getting easier. I do have a test next weekend, my great-nieces first birthday party, she was born right before the hospital and everything else was shut down last year! Wow what a year it’s been!  It will be catered, so I have NO idea what’s on the menu. I’ll bring salad dressing and nuts, maybe a Lara bar too. I am also bringing a bag of food to my parents - GF bagels, chickpea pasta, jasmine rice and GF panko breadcrumbs. Did you find a taker for your cheese @Lorna from Canada??? 
 

3 hours ago, Rebecca001 said:

I’m genuinely feeling really good at the moment, like I’m breathing fresher air and just generally buzzing on life! I’m running well and training hard

That is so awesome @Rebecca001!!! Now that the food is under control, my next goal is more exercise. We have a new piece of equipment, my husband took his father’s Total Gym because he wasn’t using it. I downloaded a few free videos and I’m starting with a small workout daily in addition to my boxing videos. I didn’t take any measurements on January 1, so I took some today, which will give me something else to focus on instead of the scale! After a few days I’m feeling stronger. Works better for me to control the food first and then increase the exercise later and since my knees feel so great, I’m ready to kick it up a notch! 

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That’s great @christine19, I like those TotalGym things. We have a few pieces of exercise equipment and I must admit we don’t use them much because we just love the road! I only started running in 2017 (actually 1st Jan 2018) and before that I did nothing physical at all (in fact I smoked, drank, was a bit Post natal depressed and was about 4 stone heavier!) and even now I cannot believe how well I feel now. It’s genuinely changed my life. I hope your knees are ok! 
 

Only 2 more days in my home office and I’ll be returning to work full time next week! So I am going to plan and prep some breakfasts and lunches over the next few days as they will be my real ‘danger zone’. Tonight we’re having the pork carnitas from the Well Fed cookbook which look delicious. I didn’t eat much veg yesterday and that’s my focus today as I was a bit protein heavy yesterday.

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10 hours ago, Rebecca001 said:

Tonight we’re having the pork carnitas from the Well Fed cookbook which look delicious.

I made the carnitas last month, they are great...I had so much leftover I actually have some in the freezer! I put in the slow cooker the Whole30 Chicken Salsa stew that was in my email box this morning! Super simple and few ingredients which I had on hand. Looking forward to having it for dinner! 

https://whole30.com/whole30-salsa-chicken-stew/?vgo_ee=i%2FdEGUKUcdznX2zo8Tuc4bXEf05QuHANew5jWIBp84o%3D

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Yes I saw that email too and liked the sound of it. The pork citrus carnitas were actually delicious! I didn’t even slow cook them as I misread the recipe so I just pan fried them and added the water, they were amazing. I made a super fresh guacamole and had cauliflower rice and salad and it was the nicest dinner I have had since...yesterday’s delicious chicken! I love that well fed book! 
 

Unfortunately  I have stomach cramp and bloating today  although I think it’s related to ovulation and when I read back through my note book to a month ago I had the same then too. Glad it’s not food related but it is quite uncomfortable and makes me feel like not doing much 

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4 hours ago, christine19 said:

I made the carnitas last month, they are great...I had so much leftover I actually have some in the freezer! I put in the slow cooker the Whole30 Chicken Salsa stew that was in my email box this morning! Super simple and few ingredients which I had on hand. Looking forward to having it for dinner! 

https://whole30.com/whole30-salsa-chicken-stew/?vgo_ee=i%2FdEGUKUcdznX2zo8Tuc4bXEf05QuHANew5jWIBp84o%3D

Please let me know how the salsa stew turns out, it's on my meal plan for next week ;) 

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