(Re)starting September w30


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@SchrodingersCat I suppose because you are experienced in this now, you know that you can have something on your birthday that you’ve reintroduced successfully before? For me that might be a glass of wine or two, keeping food compliant? 
 

this time I am determined to go longer than 30 days without a drink. I really want to see the benefits of long term abstinence, I only ever do 30 days although I do that fairly regularly (3/4 times a year?) but usually day 31 is a big celebration (eg I’m going to do 30 days until my birthday/ holiday/ end of school term) abs therefore I immediately resume drinking to excess! So I really want to see what happens if I were to do 60/100 days? 100 days would take me to mid December. 

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Another dry weekend under my belt and as predicted I am starting to feel fresh, brighter, healthier! My food this weekend was good, I didn’t fall into the trap of replacing alcohol with snacks. I went for a run, hip feeling good, a little tender this morning. 
this week my biggest aim is to drink more water especially at work, and to limit fruit consumption as I ate a lot last week. I’ve not bought anywhere near as much ‘luxury’ fruit this week, no berries or soft fruits for example, to try to limit my grazing. 
 

it is a thoroughly marvellous feeling to find myself on Monday morning, well rested and going into school feeling that little tiger starting to roar for the week ahead! Have a great week everyone! 

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Day 10 today, (15 days dry!) and I must admit I feel quite tired and grumpy tonight. I’ve done w30’s before but I’ve never been so up and down with my mood, starting every day feeling really good and then swinging towards feeling really grumpy, really moody, and quite down in the dumps. I have to keep reminding myself that I felt great this morning because I am finding myself thinking I’ve been like this for days, but actually for most of the day I’ve felt good. 
 

maybe it’s just the day 10 thing? Notoriously difficult, day 9/10/11 etc. So hopefully I will feel better tomorrow. 
 

I am going to get to bed early tonight and hopefully catch up on some sleep as I am feeling tired. 

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Feel a lot better this morning, did not sleep brilliantly and had horrible night sweats? However have checked my tracker and it seems my period is due in a day or two so that could be why? My skin is also sore with several spots, again probably hormonal and also maybe my liver finally clearing out all the last dregs of alcohol! 

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17 hours ago, Rebecca001 said:

but I’ve never been so up and down with my mood, starting every day feeling really good and then swinging towards feeling really grumpy, really moody, and quite down in the dumps.

This is happening to me, too, but in the opposite direction!  ^_^

You are so close to getting to Tiger Blood - don't you love being able to have a semblance of understanding as to why something is happening in your body and knowing that it's about to get better?  Though combining tough days with the onset of our periods is never fun.  Ugh!  Hoping (knowing!) your days are going to continue to get better! 

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Day 11, and oh boy did I hit a wall today. Physical, mental, emotional: I just fully slammed into it and it did not end well. Think I’m restarting (again!) as quite frankly the last few hours have been really quite far from w30! I don’t even know where it came from really, but anyway, a full binge (something I very rarely do these days) and now will have to deal with the consequences. 
 

I think, quite honestly, I am getting tired of doing this and not feeling any better. I’ve not run since Tuesday and before that Sunday, I have not done my usual classes, my food is almost always 100% on plan (and actually, barring a few well planned days off, has been for over a year!); I’ve not drunk alcohol since august, and yet I feel absolutely exhausted every evening, definitely worse not better, my joints still ache, and I’m just getting rather peeed off with it to be honest. I think that’s partly where ‘the wall’ came from. 
and of course, I know it’s completely counter productive, because now I’m even further from feeling better after eating so much rubbish. My mood has been thoroughly shocking this time, 2 weeks ago mid cycle and now this week as well, definitely hormonal, but I have been really really low. 
 

and to add insult to injury, I weighed myself today (yes. I know, completely stupid) and I’m the heaviest I have been in a long time AND jumped up into the next stone bracket, so I feel thoroughly miserable and disheartened. 
 

but anyway. I know what to do. I know it works. I have my food all planned for tomorrow, and a plan in place for next week, specifically a lot less sugar in the form of fruit and potatoes as I don’t think that is really helping me, plus drinking more water at work as my afternoon dehydration isn’t helping matters either. 
 

one positive today though: I went for a walk, I never normally do this as I’m a runner, walking is entirely as a mode of transport in my eyes and never as a leisure activity in its own right. But I enjoyed it, autumn sunshine and a funny podcast and it was ok, and my hip didn’t hurt afterwards either so win-win. 

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And you came back here as part of your reset!  Not feeling any better.... Your ideas to cut out some sugars and make sure you hydrate are good ones.  Some other questions to ask yourself (if you haven't already)-Have you thought about other food triggers, such as nightshades or FODMAPs?  Are you getting enough to eat with your activity level (is your body holding onto some weight for dear life)?  Is it possible there is something else going on not related to food?  Are there things impacting your sleep (i.e. stress)?   

Your walk sounds so lovely - I was once a runner and keep thinking I'll eventually get back to it...a physical therapist told me running was not a good form of exercise for me and I tried to rebel against that, but maybe she was right...anyway, I miss the meditative rhythm of the breath and the footfalls that can't be mimicked through walking.  But I've since found that walking can be meditative and serene in itself.  

Tough times...from your post, you clearly can work through this.  Here's hoping for a better day today.  

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@MadyVanilla thank you, I did feel better today. I have stuck to plan, and stuck to my menu plan as well. 
 

interesting you say this about nightshades and fodmap. Over my many months of w30 and reintroductions I have been very inclined to think that eggs (in large quantities) and nuts (almonds especially) do strange things to me. 

I do  feel absolutely exhausted though, to the point I have done a lateral flow Covid test as I just feel so washed out. I have a full fuzzy headache and just generally feel pretty horrible, and have all week. This may have contributed to yesterday’s blow out as well. 
 

Hopefully a restful weekend is in store and I will feel better next week 

 

 

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Sunny Sunday here in the UK! Did some housework, some cooking for the week and the usual chores. I feel a lot brighter today, the bone crushing exhaustion seems to have passed, thankfully. I am sure I’ve had a virus of some sort and not that it’s simply w30 detox. 
 

my food today has been good: leftover beef burger (homemade obvs) for breakfast, I had a mackerel fillet and salad for lunch with some roasted Mediterranean  veg, and dinner is going to be roast pork and Crackling. I still haven’t run (not since Tuesday) and went for another walk yesterday. No hiit classes either. Later on I am going to do a short yoga session and also maybe an arms only workout just to feel like I’m doing something. 
 

and I thought I’d end what has been a fairly glum week with some positives: 

I’m sleeping well

i have now done 3 dry weekends 

I feel really motivated for the week ahead 

I feel like my water retention is passing now, I had bloated up terribly but feel like I’ve lost a bit of that 

despite my pretty woeful day on Thursday, I have managed to get my head back on track with some planning and haven’t spiralled which is very positive 

despite how I may feel/have felt this week, I look quite sparkly and healthy, my eyes and skin look bright etc. 

 

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A reasonable day for me today. I think I’m now 21 days alcohol free, and not many days strict w30 due to 2 restarts. But actually that’s ok. I am feeling some benefits from almost w30 for 3 weeks. 
I certainly feel less tired today, had a good da at work and have eaten well. Tomorrow I am doing a very biting conference, virtually, from home and therefore will absolutely need to break away from my screen so I have planned my meals carefully. 
I am really hoping for a run soon, I miss it so much! My hip is feeling almost recovered but now I’m scared of running too soon and going right back to square 1. So will leave it another few days I think. 

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Weds morning, yesterday was ok. Especially considering I had a bad night and then worked from home, I did not graze or end up in the kitchen, just ate my 3 meals as planned. I did go out for a run and it was fine, but in the evening was very painful. So will have another week resting it, then will assess and then will consider a physio or other specialist to really get it sorted. However I feel that perhaps a longer, 6 weeks or more, rest would be prescribed and I genuinely don’t know how I would cope with that. 
 

anyway, today. I’m not sure about breakfast, lunch will be salad with tuna or mackerel, and dinner will be lamb meatballs with some sort of sauce. Not brilliant planning, but I’ve got the skeleton structure there! 

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Today I have had another almighty crash out. I do not know what is going on with me right now. Considering I’ve been pretty much sugar free, dairy free, grain free since July 2020, the last month I have had more sugar and rubbish than the rest of those months put together. I wonder if it’s related to not drinking, whether maybe I am seeking solace somewhere else almost subconsciously? I’m trying not to beat myself up about it because I know that food guilt is my biggest enemy, but I’m cross and frustrated with myself and I thoroughly despise this place; this horrible feeling of that I have lost all my self control and let myself down. It feels ‘addict-y’ and bingey and it’s a place I have worked very hard to get free of. 
 

i thinK part if the problem is that I have not planned my food well this week, and some of the things I have planned have not worked out (eg chicken was off when I unwrapped it, and a recipe I tried was way too spicy). I just feel so thoroughly bored to tears of food, there is literally not a single thing I actually sit here thinking I’d love to eat right now. So I’m eating my meals and they are just ‘meh’ or worse, I’m not eating them, and instead just grazing on bits/eating fruit, then like today (and yesterday) crashing out in a horrendous binge. 
 

I don’t know what else to do except start again. My dear friend today said why not have a weekend ‘off’ , order pizza and drink wine and get back on it on Monday, but I genuinely don’t want to. I know I’ll feel even worse on Monday if I do that. One thing I am going to do tomorrow is wait until I’m properly hungry to eat, I am struggling with mandatory breakfast especially when I end up eating just fruit. I feel like I need my appetite to be really fired up to make my food excite me again. 
 

tomorrow is Friday. We have a cake charity sale at work tomorrow but that wont tempt me as there will be people there; but I need to prep for after that so I have something ready. Dinner will be grilled gammon, pineapple wedges and egg, with some homemade wedges. 
 

I am seeing a physio tomorrow for an initial consultation about my hip as well, that will hopefully brighten my mood a bit at I am hoping she will help me get back out on the road pain free eventually. 
 

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