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Fall 2021


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I did make chia seed pudding last night to have for breakfast this morning.  As I sat before my computer eating it, I wondered if it was in fact compliant.  I did a search through the forums and found technically it's not, because it's a treat with compatible ingredients or a no-brakes food.  Chia seed pudding is a fairly new discovery for me, and it's delicious.  Just as those egg muffins (are they technically non-compliant because I cook them in a muffin tin with muffin papers?) were that I had for breakfast earlier in the week.  I don't typically eat pudding.  This is not sweet and I wouldn't consider it a treat.  It's a non-egg based breakfast today, I had some last week for dinner.  So I'm not going to worry about it.  If I made this because I was looking for an alternative to tapioca pudding for instance, then yes, it should not be part of my W30.  Chia seed pudding is not a gateway food for me in the same way coconut balls made with coconut cream, shredded coconut, and almonds would be.  

I haven't journaled much this week, as it's been crazy busy at work and I'm so tired by the time I finally settle down at night.  Everything is going well as far as not having cravings and being able to stick with my meal plans.  NSVs  are significantly decreased joint pain, looser pants, no indigestion, even energy levels throughout the day (no mid-afternoon yawning).  Sleep has been good, but I still can't bring myself to get up as early as I was prior to my trip in August.  I mentioned earlier in the week that I had been diagnosed with Vitamin D deficiency and I've since taken 2 doses (twice a week supplement).  I'm hoping that with the time change in just over two weeks that can key me back into the mornings.  I would like to get back to exercising in the morning, whether it's just a walk or going to the gym.  I'm also hoping for the bags under my eyes to disappear.  I think that's as much from the on-going fatigue as it is a remnant of poor diet and aging.  

Interestingly, I've gotten into watching the Great British Bake Off every night.  All those lovely treats, breads, pies, savory and sweet.  I am not a good baker as I don't have the scientific precision required to do it right, but it's fascinating to watch and learn.  I got thinking last night I could bake a loaf of bread....nope, not going to do it.  

Day 20

M1-Chia seeds, compliant almond milk, frozen blueberries

M2-Chicken Caesar salad - cubed chicken, romaine and cucumbers, primal kitchen caesar dressing

M3-Steak tips and sweet potato cubes, broccoli

Walk and yoga.  



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I can't believe the weekend has come and gone and I did no journaling...Saturday, Day 21, was on-plan.  Yesterday, I didn't feel well, a stomach bug or something, and I didn't eat much or do much.  I slow-cooked a pork roast for carnitas over the weekend, but didn't do the rest of my planned meal prep.

Friday after work I stopped at a new produce stand and loaded up on greens - collard greens, rainbow chard, salad mix, plus scallions, mushrooms, and apples.  The collard leaves make excellent wraps for sandwiches.  

Day 23

M1-2 eggs, 3 slices complaint bacon, Paleo Kitchen mayo wrapped up in two collard leaves.  Because I didn't prep my breakfasts for the week, I had to get up earlier today to make this.  It was well worth the effort.  

M2-Salad greens topped with compliant Caesar dressing, pork carnitas, apple, La Croix drink

M3 - Pork, Rainbow chard, oven roasted potatoes tossed with compliant Dijon.  

Long hike and yoga planned for after work.  






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Dinner was delicious last night.  Oven roasted potatoes rank above macaroni and cheese as comfort food, in my opinion.  There were some left over potatoes that I'm looking forward to frying up with an egg and greens later this week.  Plus, I had a nice long hike with the dog, which ended with a 1/4 mile run back to the car to avoid the impending thunderstorm.  Followed by a LONG yoga session.  I slept so well last night after spending a blissful afternoon/evening.  How easy it is to take good care of myself when I'm motivated to do so.  

Day 24...though I need to check the dijon mustard I used on the potatoes - I woke up in the middle of the night thinking that the mustard, while Primal Kitchen brand, may not be W30 compliant.  

M1-Another egg, bacon, mayo sandwich wrapped in collard greens.  With the addition of an heirloom tomato this morning.  So yummy!  I need to stop at the produce market for more collards.  

M2-Chipotle lifestyle bowl  - I'm taking my daughter lunch at her new job today, and she requested Chipotle.  

M3-Carnitas tacos with collard green "shells."  Topped with heirloom tomato, lettuce, and cilantro.  Blueberries and almond milk.  Plus I need to poach the chicken thighs since I didn't do that this weekend.  I need something for lunch tomorrow.  

I'm hoping for another long hike, but I'm not sure if I'll get out of work in time. It's getting dark so early.  Once the time changes, I can get back to morning hikes (I hope my energy level agrees!).  I can walk around the neighborhood, but that just isn't as much fun.  Plus yoga, probably a short session tonight.  

*I did check the dijon and it is W30 compliant.  Yay!  






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Nothing much to say today. I didn't get around to poaching the chicken thighs - MUST DO TONIGHT.  I also didn't make it to the produce stand-another must do, but at least I'll be coming home from that direction tonight.  

M1-Nothing yet.  I was not hungry this morning and so chose to sleep rather than get up and make breakfast.  

M2-Grilled chicken salad

M3-Carnitas tacos tonight-didn't have the collards to make the shell portion happen last night.  And there is still ALOT of pork left.  It's soo good, but no one else eats it - I don't understand why.  My husband must think it's diet food.  :blink:





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@Rebecca001 - I fell from grace.  On Day 25.  I made the mistake of buying Halloween candy early, overconfident that I could handle having it in the house.  I had bought the candy Monday and it lasted until Wednesday night - then I discovered that I could not handle having it in the house.  But really, I think I didn't want to handle it - I wanted those creamy, coconut-y Almond Joys.  And then I struggled so to get back on track, I think because in the back of my head I wanted to eat whatever I wanted until I could get to today. November 1 and Monday, the perfect time to restart.  Head games that I play with myself.  Maybe I should be concentrating on living my Food Freedom since I pretty much know how various foods impact me.  And if I stop playing games with myself, maybe I'll be able to better enjoy a candy bar once in a while, without a nearly week-long derailment.  I need to change the mindset of permission.  

It's a Catch-22 for me - if I give myself permission to eat whatever, then I will most definitely eat whatever.  I *think* I do better with an all-or-nothing approach, and while I'm quite successful with the nothing, when the all kicks in, which it always does at some point, the all really does equate to everything - McDonald's and all.  If I try a more moderate approach, I still can't handle the sugar.  While I may flail along eating a bit of sugar here and there for some time, I eventually give in completely.  And go back to eating everything.  So the issue is - Why do I find myself back in a position of eating foods that make me feel terrible, that are terrible for me?  And they really make me feel terrible - there were several nights last week that I had moaning, groaning tummy aches because of what I ate.  All the while saying to myself, this is why I don't eat that crap.  AND YET I DID IT ALL OVER AGAIN the next day.     

I read a book on nutrition (I read lots of books on nutrition) that suggested that sugars, fats, and salts lay down "memory" in our cells.  And so even though a food may have been reformulated and tastes terrible to us now, we still want to eat it because of the memory of how it made us feel when we ate it at a different time in life.  This was theorized to be one of the reasons why it's so difficult for the tv dinner and processed food generations to change their eating habits - a Poptart might call up pleasant memories of childhood, and when presented with a Poptart today, I might have a hard time resisting because of the physiological and the emotional memory of the impact...dopamine & serotonin spikes, smiling Mom, Saturday morning cartoons, whatever.  I can buy that theory...but why can't I overcome it?  There is also the theory of noxious substances - eat something that makes you sick, and you'll avoid it in the future.  I haven't eaten hot dogs and baked beans since I was a kid for this very reason.   So if Poptarts make me feel sick, but frozen grapes make me feel good (and are delicious!) why do I have to fight myself to choose the grapes over the Poptart?  

I wrote the above paragraphs yesterday, but never finished or posted.  So I'll post, but then start a different post for today.  





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I think it was yesterday's post from Melissa Urban that talked about, "I'm not drinking right now."  I decided to try that with sugar.  So, "I'm not eating sugar right now."  I put a red hair band around my wrist that will serve as my visual reminder for the month of November.  It comes down to making the decision at each moment.  I am usually really good at making the pro-health decisions.  But when I'm not, I'm all in to the bad choice.  So for now, I'm going to choose not to make the bad choice and remember that I'm going to be mindful and conscious of the choice by wearing the red band.  

M1-Egg, compliant bacon, compliant mayo wrapped in a collard green leaf

M2-Homemade chicken salad wrapped in a collard leaf

M3-Hamburger with sauteed mushrooms and onions.  Served on Bibb lettuce.  


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@MadyVanilla oh I could have written your first post! I recognise so much of what you’ve said; proof I suppose that our incredibly complex brains are all the same animal. I completely understand your points about permission, and definitely agree that I too need to rethink my definition of permission.

For me, when I eat these foods (and like you, I don’t just have a small piece of cake in a nice food freedom way) it’s not that I have given myself permission. It’s that I have given IT permission. Permission to do its worst. Permission to take me over. And I think when I do that, I roll over and let them all March over me. It feels like food freedom, but it isn’t, and it certainly doesn’t feel good, and in control, and empowering. And I have to get to a certain point (for me it’s usually the scales, a certain number) to claw it back. 

but here we are, clawing…..! We know what to do. My friend and I are calling it NOvember. No sugar, no alcohol, no junk, no excuses. Perfect for a fresh start. I already feel better after only two days. Slept really well, ate really well. Much as I think eating breakfast doesn’t help me, when I eat the right breakfast I feel so much better all day. Today it’s chicken thigh and salad! 

I hope you have a good day today. 

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On 11/3/2021 at 2:39 AM, Rebecca001 said:

 It’s that I have given IT permission. 


Oh my goodness - this.  And every thing else after it.  But this is the thing.  I give IT permission.  This is where to concentrate on change.  

I'm thinking alot, processing alot.  Today has not been a great day.  My belly hurts.  It's my choices. 



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My darling friend (who’s had a lifetime of food weirdness and completely understands this) and I talk about this so often. Food freedom should be a strength, shouldn’t it? It should empower us. It should be a choice. I think that’s where I need to do my work because for me, still, food freedom feels like weakness. Feels like failure. So when I do it properly and say ‘yes I really want that piece of cake’ something in me still thinks that’s a failure so I shut it up by eating the whole cake because if I’m going to fail, I am going to fail properly. The irony is, if I’d just had one piece like I’d originally planned, I would have been able to move on. But that moment of ‘food freedom’ is actually the polar opposite, it’s me saying ‘I can’t fight this anymore’ and in doing so I lose control of it, it stops being a choice. 

if we were talking about cocaine and not buttered toast, more people would empathise with us, I’m sure. There are very few people who truly understand my very complex relationship with food. My first whole30 was life changing because I felt I had control for the first time ever, and I did - but only when I had nothing. Moderation still never works for me. Something must have gone awry when I reintroduced, one part of the puzzle wasn’t properly connected. This time I’m going to reintroduce more carefully, and promptly, after the 30 days. I suppose that, or the alternative is never eating sugar ever again, but to me that isn’t true Food Freedom. 

we will get there though I’m sure. Are you considering a full w30 again? I’m 6 days in now, and actually feel so much better. It’s amazing how quickly it clicks into place when the timing is right. 

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