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Day 34

CD5

I would really like to have some energy, motivation, SOMETHING. I did get some stuff done around the house yesterday, although not as much as I'd like. I took a two-hour nap.

I had a terrifying realization yesterday regarding the timeline of my trauma. It started even earlier than I remember, and apparently I had told a lie so much about the timeline that I started believing it myself. The fragility and mutability of memory is so scary. What else have I repressed?

On the bright(?) side, I feel like I have more mental clarity when I think about these things. It gives me hope that I'll eventually be able to resolve them with therapy.

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Day 35

CD6

I'm not discounting the possibility that my lack of motivation and energy is coming from the loss of more coping mechanisms (carbs) while working on intense stuff in therapy. In fact, I'm banking on it. I really like my mental state this month. Reduced anxiety, paranoia, depression have all been great. But I just don't really want to do anything. I feel exhausted a lot.

This weekend I'm going to spend some time doing some mobility and stretching exercises and see if it helps at all. Maybe if I just do it, motivation will follow.

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Day 38

CD9

Okay, I'm getting desperate. No energy to do much of anything this weekend. I know I'm eating enough calories, but I'm doubling down on logging my food. After doing some more reading, it looks like I might not be supplementing enough electrolytes. A lot of keto resources are suggesting supplementing 2-5g of salt per day, which is kind of bonkers to me. Still, it's worth a try, so I'm logging that along with my food. I'm a little worried about the laxative effect of too much salt over too short a time, but oh well. 

A lot of ZC people apparently lose their taste for salt and stop using it after a while. I wonder if their bodies just naturally adjust and no longer need supplementation? I know that carnivores seem to need only tiny amounts of vitamin C compared to people on a mixed diet because it's not being blocked by fructose.

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Day 39

CD10

Yesterday I supplemented about 2.5g salt with water. I'm pretty impressed with the difference it made. I did have a bit of the laxative effect, but that's on me for drinking too much, too fast. I'm also aware that I'm at the point in my cycle where I'm approaching my best, most energetic days. We'll see where I am in a week.

This morning I've had about 2g salt with my coffee and some broth, and I'm actually feeling well enough to exercise. I'm going to hop on my rowing machine for a few minutes and see how I feel. I'm going to try and consume another 1-1.5g over the rest of the day, depending on how much I sweat.

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Day 41

CD12

Salt is LIFE. Last time I wrote (Tuesday) I did 30 minutes on my rowing machine and it was great. I supplemented about 3g salt that day, and about 4g the next. My energy is vastly improved, and I haven't been getting anymore random headaches. Certain ZC/carnivore spaces are vehemently anti-supplementation of ANYTHING, and I guess I was drinking their Kool-Aid without realizing it. 

Unfortunately (sort of) I had a really intense therapy session yesterday and I'm still wiped out from it. I wish I could sleep for a few days. Used to, I would go back to sleep for a while after Gavin left for work, because my work opens later. But since W30 and now ZC, it's like I can't go back to sleep no matter how exhausted I feel.

My therapy session was quite productive. I feel like I managed not to get as overwhelmed as I have in the past. I had to go to the store for Band-Aids afterward, and left with ribeyes, pork rinds, and cheese. A far cry from the bags of chocolate I would have carried home six months ago. I overdid it on cheese yesterday (this whole week, really), but I'm not beating myself up too much about it. It's still a huge improvement from how I used to eat. I do think cheese causes some mild inflammation for me, and I'm working on moderating it better.

I haven't been very hungry yesterday and today, and I hope it's fat adaptation kicking in and not just ovulation. I'm definitely enjoying all my NSVs, but I would also like to lose body fat at some point.

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Day 43

CD 14

I did workout 1 of Body Revolution yesterday, and genuinely thought I might pass out at the end. I got really dizzy and lightheaded. I made it though! I started getting sore last night, and this morning it's freaking miserable. Thank goodness I'm working different muscles today. Gonna pound extra electrolytes today and hope it helps with the dizziness and weakness.

Last night a friend brought over some chocolate-dipped fruit and I ate a bunch of it. Oddly, it didn't taste as good as I thought it would. The incredible thing is that I'm not craving sugar or carbs this morning. I thought if I had any at all it would wake up the Sugar Dragon and I'd be white-knuckling it for the next several weeks.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Day 52

CD 23

I've been craving pineapple for several days now, so yesterday I bought some canned pineapple rings to have with our pork steaks. It was a really good decision and I regret nothing. I also bought some mixed nuts and almonds yesterday (no peanuts) and ate a bunch of them. I might regret it later, but I'm not beating myself up over it. I do think I'm going to fast until dinner tonight though, because the thought of eating anything this morning is just beyond me. My appetite is definitely changing.

I've been keeping up with Body Revolution, and it's getting better. The electrolytes definitely help.

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