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Nathalia's Whole 30 Journal - Goal: peaceful mind


Nathalia Bailey

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Hi There,

I'm starting my 3rd full whole 30 attempt tomorrow.

I started my whole 30 January 2nd. I was doing sooo fabulously for 20 days, the last two of which I was surviving through a sorority/frat ski trip (lots of alcohol). Then on the last night of the ski trip I decided to have a few shots of gin.

Boy did I have fun. Boy did I get serious crazy cravings the next week.

Maybe I could've gone on w/my whole 30 w/10 days tacked on with just the gin slip up. But then my brain got crazy. I got ravenous and a little depressed. Throughout the week I had a little too much fruit, dried fruit, SWYPO, etc.

Last Saturday night I was going so crazy I caved and had a thing of cold stone icecream, assuming I should just get it out of my system and my resolve for a full whole 30 would be stronger starting the next day.

My resolve was stronger. Especially since I was actually feeling the kind of depression I haven't felt since going paleo 6 months ago.

Tomorrow I have a job interview for a camp counselor job. One of the things they want is a show and tell, about anything. My father suggested I bake some paleo desserts, that way I can share a little bit about my way of eating, and, more importantly, I can show my strengths in service and hospitality.

Well tonight I had a crazy night of baking, and when I bake I have no self control and taste everything. That's why I avoid baking now.

So, point is I did some serious SWYPO tonight and feel it's just best to start over with a February whole 30.

My main goal and motivation for doing a whole 30 is peace of mind. When I eat paleo, mostly meats and vegetables, and limit my fruits and nuts, my cravings go away, I feel confident and happy with myself, I feel light and just great. Now, when I eat those foods I know are bad for my body, I literally get depressed. Things that don't really matter get to me and I have crying spells. My cravings get out of control and I lose the ability to listen to my body's natural eat/stop signals. For the first time in my life, the way I eat has less to do with the way I look and everything to do with the way I feel.

I'll be posting everyday now to keep myself honest. Looking foward to getting back to that sweet spot I was at about 10 days ago!

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Day 1:

I woke up around 11am after a whole night's worth of paleo baking (hence starting over today). I felt super bloated from constantly eating while cooking last night. Had to take some baking soda and apple cider vinegar concoctions through out the day. I didn't eat anything until around 7:30 tonight.

My one meal of the day consisted of rotisserie chicken, spring mix salad, whole foods roasted garlic and marinated black olives and figs. I then stupidly went on to have some cashews, almond butter, and coconut flakes. I say stupidly because that's my candy food. It's the food I overeat and that then makes me feel bad. So I put a sign in the drawer where I keep those things that says "Post Whole 30 only. Stop and walk away." If I end up eating from that drawer again during this next month I'll just throw that stuff away. That would be a waste of money though, since that's the pricier stuff. Better to learn some self discipline. Nuts won't go bad in one month.

I'm feeling fat and bloated like I haven't felt in weeks now. I need to work on this whole 30 big time!

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Day 2:

I think today was my last upset stomach day from Wednesday night. Stomach finally felt calm by this evening.

I had my first meal around noon. Ate some pork shouler w/roasted garlic and brocolli/carrot mix.

Ate my second meal around 10pm. I've been kind of tired of big ol'hunks of meat lately and wanted something mostly veggie based. Made a big batch of a vegetable concoction. It consisted of roasted brussel sprouts, sweet potatoes, yucca, pecans, bacon (whole 30 approved of course), apple and onion. Had a side of coconut milk, almond butter dip with it. Sooo good and refreshing compared to all the meat I've been having lately (yea, I know there was bacon in there, but it wasn't the main taste in the meal which is what I was going for).

Like I said before, I wasn't going to allow myself to go crazy on the nuts this whole 30. Adding the pecans into my recipe helped me have them without going crazy. I was glad to find a way to incorporate some nuts (and fruit) into my meal that would leave me satisfied but without the side effect of insatiable cravings.

So overall it was an ok day. Nothing too exciting.

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ayayay,

it was a joke to think that keeping my trigger foods in the house would be ok. Today I dumped it ALL in the trash. all the nuts, nut butters, dried fruit, paleo desserts, everything. I gave a lot of the paleo desserts away at my apartments baking competition today. But not before eating some of them myself. And then I had a few bites of non paleo desserts! So I can't even say that I was perfectly paleo today. It was just an awful eating day. But I know myself. If it comes in my home I'll eat it because I'm a comfort eating. I like to snuggle w/a bowl of something sweet and watch tv. If I don't bring it in my home, I have no trouble resisting. I don't find it tempting to pick out something bad at a restaurant nor do I find it hard to turn down a food that someone offers me. It's only when it's sitting there in my space that it gets hard.

So here is my banned from my home/trigger foods list:

nuts, in any shape or form.

dried fruit

alcohol

coconut or coconut milk

and obviously all the other non paleo foods, but I don't really crave things like grains or dairy, so it's not a focus for me

gosh, I'm so upset with myself for f'ing up on the 3rd day in to my 3rd attempt. The first time around I wasn't thinking about it as much and now I'm pretty sure I was overthinking it. And I was setting myself up for failure having those trigger foods in my home and going to a bake sale. I knew it as soon as I decided to make those treats. I hope I get the job I interviewed for, the one that I made the treats for. Then it would be all worth this mental turmoil.

This isn't really that hard to do. It's easy as long as I set myself up for success. So that's what I did today by cleaning out the kitchen.

On the bright side, got a super max squat today. 215.5 pounds baby!

Omg, i"m so upset right now though. I was going to go out tonight but now I'm just feeling fat and sad!

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