Nadia's PW30. "Let's fix it" journey.


Nadia B

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Yum! The bento boxes I have tend to have multiple little containers - I don't have one like yours, but I want one! I'd love to have a running paleo bento feature on my blog... But I don't need so many boxes! I was into Japanese cooking before I found paleo, so that's my background. I just love beautiful/cute food! Now I'm rambling. Suffice it to say I like your photos so please keep posting!

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So you can make omelet with chopsticks? I remember watching crazy Japanese channel years ago. It was called "Cooking with the dog" and the lady was rolling egg omelets with chopsticks. Looked pretty awesome :)

I fell in love with your Japanese ornamented sushi plate btw.

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Day 42 update. Nadia Gras.

At lunch I went to a lovely oldschool bookstore with fireplace and sofas.

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Picked up three books to look through - Pecans (author suggests to keep nuts in a freezer if you can't stop eating them, genius!), Soupsoup (horrible) and a book about Beethoven's 9 (playing this Friday and I have tickets). All sounds pretty good with the exception that my habit of chewing while reading caught me off guard. I ate the rest of the chocolate bar I tried yesterday. Yes, all of it. The reaction was brutal - hives, itchiness, breakouts (within an hour, crazy), bloat and weakness. I am not too upset, just very disappointed. That was pretty stupid. Lettuce never tasted that good I swear.

On the good note, I have survived my entire wo. Energy was way better than last couple weeks.

My every Tuesday dilemma - dinner or no dinner; hungry vs too late to eat. I felt pretty hungry, so I decided to eat. I think if I had to eat one meal to the rest of my days that would be it. Simple, colorful and tasty. Dinner: yam (ate two slices cold while cutting) + tomatoes + collard greens + chicken mustard sausage.

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I was still hungry somehow. Went to sleep shortly, suspecting that tomorrow I will feel like crap.

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Day 43.

As I thought, I had a horrible night – woke up 4 times, couldn't sleep after 6 am. Got up and cooked breakfast: rutabaga/Brussels sprouts/1 bacon strip hash + 2 eggs + banana + cmc coffee.

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I felt absolutely gross – fat and disgusting. And still hungry. Insane. So I pulled out an old diet days trick – paint your nails. It's hard to think about food when it smells like nail polish B) At this point I am curious how long this breakfast at 6-30 AM will keep my fork from lunch box?

Lunch for today is the most non photogenic food I had in a while: zoodles with creamy sauce that looks so unappetizing on the picture (avocado/tomato/coconut milk/cumin/cilantro/garlic/chili flakes) + fish sliders (again no way to make baked white fish look pretty)/mushroom walnut pate/shiitake/sugar peas + kiwi.

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I have signed up for a flashmob performance on a National Dance Day with my ballet school. I think this is pretty cool. First rehearsal is today after work. Keeping this in mind here is my mini meal: arugula/chicken/pepper/olives/sundried

tomato/basil/rosemary salad.

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On the good note – it's super sunny outside and I have candy-nails!

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What pretty oval nails you have!

A ballet dance mob? Should be fun!

Thanks Terez. Well, every year they have different dancing style for the flash mob. Last year it was Bollywood. This year it's going to be something infused with pow wow and tribal stuff. I'll know more today.

I'm sure there was important stuff about food & wellbeing in there too :)

The main idea of the post - you can freeze nuts, - you missed it all :P

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Day 43. Dinner update.

Rehearsal was fun! As I mentioned, each year my school picks a different style for a flashmob dance. This year it's a pow wow and tribal dancing. I couldn't help but giggle - tribal food, tribal dancing. It's so different from what I know - no ballet pointed toe or salsa fixed frame. I am happy it will be challenging a bit. Anywhooo if you're interested what kind of routine we are trying to put together -

Turn the volume on, it doesn't make sense without the music.

Got home after and was dying from hunger. I am def failing with my planning somewhere. I ate a pork sausage + red cabbage/yoghurt/onion jam + soup.

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And banana...and a bit of nuts...and tried to have a warm coconut milk but screwed it up. What the hell is wrong with me?! I have a suspicion that tomorrow will be “kill all things†day.

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Day 44. No love post. God, please, I hope it's only PMS.

!Anger, frustration and itsallaboutme alert!

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I am not in “kill all thingsâ€, but rather in “kill myself†mode. I am frustrated, angry and confused. I am falling apart. I feel like I am trying to stop the water running through a sieve with my fingers. Weird analogy, but that's the best description of it. I can't do this and I can't do that. Is this a right thing to do or not so much? I am not talking about sweets, wheat or other crap. I am not coming from SAD. I am talking about the legitimate food. My brain is frantically trying to find the way to get it sorted out in my head but failing miserably.

I tried to relax, give it time and focus on fixing one thing at a time. I am still trying. But it all goes to hell when your “skinny dress†feels tight on you. It's all about health, yes. There is a little problem – I feel fat. Health + fat = avocado. I am not an avocado, for f's sake. Let's not get into discussion what's considered to be fat, that's how I feel. I do not need others to boost my ego, I just want to like myself. I am not dreaming about everything being perfect right away, I am willing to work for it.

So much stress and over thinking is going on. It affects my everyday life, my job, my mental health and my relations with friends and family. I have to get this straight. Somehow.

Morning was alright before the dress and hunger strike thing. I listened to everydaypaleo podcast which I missed last week and made a great meal. Breakfast: 1 strip of bacon + mushrooms + collard + zuccini/squash fritters (nmoooom) + fried egg + coffee.

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Looks like a lot of food, right? Well guess what, I was still hungry. I fried one more egg. STILL HUNGRY. Packed my lunch: spaghetti squash/tomato/mushrooms + green beans + chicken gizzards.

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Then the "dress disaster" happened. Then I remembered that our department goes for a lunch today (ironically I was the one making reservation). Trying to be compliant at Thai restaurant is last thing I want to do today. My ballet class is today as well and the idea of being surrounded by mirrors for 1,5 hour has contributed to my great mood. I have really amazing plans for the upcoming long weekend, but that means I will not have time to shop/cook for next week and I will be constantly on the go which leaves me with limited meal choices, and there probably will be quiet a bit of eating out involved. I was still hungry. I emotionally ate a persimmon and a mango. Got crazy bloated and a sugar coat in my mouth. ARGHGHGTRHGRHRHGRHRGRGH

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I think I love Derval's Dad....I may have to bust that out and use it with my perfectionist sons....

Nadia I think we all have those panic moments where we get hyperfocused on results instead of honoring the process of becoming healthier. There are so many things that can affect how our clothes fit. I have a pair of jeans I love....1/2 the time I put them on I have to take them back off and hang them up! Nope, it's not a skinny jean kind of day today! I swear sometimes the darn things shrink up overnight! You're doing a great job fueling your body with real food and keeping yourself active and fit, keep the focus on loving yourself and remember that sometimes the skinny dress just might not fit...I personally blame mischievious elves...

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or as my Dad would say "Pop down to the Spar there love (insert 7-11) and buy yourself a bigger stick to beat yourself with why don't ya?"

I'd better get them in all the sizes/colors available.

But seriously, thanks a lot for the post. You've seen so many meltdowns and hysterics over here. Still you've chosen to find great words for me and my "drama drama". I really appreciate it :wub:

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I think I love Derval's Dad....

Brilliant, I agree.

Thanks for cheering me up. Not a skinny jeans day is fine, not a skinny dress month is slightly worse.

I never thought I'd say that, but not eating is harder than eating. My previous rule was easy - you want to eat? don't! So now my brain is super confused and acts like a little kid - "are we healthy yet?" kinda thing.

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Day 45.

Wow that was ugly. I have neither calmed down yet, nor came up with the plan. Just to make it clear - I am stressing out not because I am not losing pounds or my dress doesn't fit (it sucks though). I am worrying that I am turning old obsession into a new one, that I am falling into deviation just of another kind.

However, I feel that I can get this sorted out. So many people have circumstances (kids, families, health conditions, you name it) that make following this system hundred times harder and I can't take care of one little self. Ridiculous.

On to the good news:

- I didn't dive into the bucket of noodles and managed to stay somewhat “good†in Thai restaurant – had mango salad (no dressing) + chicken/coconut/mushroom soup (sure they had some kind of nasty sauce in it) and grilled beef on the pile of raw veggies. Skipped dessert.

- I went to ballet and still enjoyed it. Pregnant ballerina in the back row. Yep.

- I went home and didn't stuff myself with random food, had mint tea and went to bed.

- Jar of nuts is done. No replacement. Sigh.

And look what happened today?! Taaaadaaaaaaaaa

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Breakfast: sweet potato/mushroom/leeks/pepperoni + 2 poached eggs + black coffee (didn't finish even a half) + all the nuts remaining in the jar (heaping handful). Still hungry, holy cow.

Packed lunch: mixed greens salad + mashed root veggies + Brussels sprouts + fish sliders. Several strawberries and a small kiwi.

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Rehearsal of my tribal dance and Beethoven's 9th at the symphonic Orchestra after work. I forgot to pack an extra meal and have to figure out what can I get to fix that. I was thinking can of tuna + green mix or cooked shrimps (defrost in the corporate fridge) with tomatoes. Other ideas?

I found this picture that I took last spring. That's what's up.

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Day 45. Update.

I went to meet my friend in my fav coffee place near the office. She is a big sweets/chocolate/cookies eater and I am a big social eater. As it was an unplanned meet up, I grabbed some roasted chestnuts and apple chips to munch on. I felt super nauseated after this snack, strange. On the positive side - I didn't feel the urge to take a bite from her cheesecake or order a slice for myself.

Later I got a late Valentine's parcel delivered from one of media agencies I work with. I had a good laugh, but I have no clue what to do with it. I can't give it away to our mailroom peeps or to Mom as I would normally do. Anyways, I got myself a little Lindt instead and enjoyed it a lot. No immediate reaction followed.

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Later that day I had a can of salmon with broccoli slaw at my desk and rushed to my tribal dance rehearsal. We were practicing crazy jumps and I felt that salmon wanted to participate too. No embarassing details to follow :) Rehearsal was a bit longer than planned and we had to run to make it to the Concert Hall. We went to Beethoven's 9th (listen here). I love it dearly. I was freezing on my way home, so I made a big cup of raspberry tea and had strawberries with couple spoons of yoghurt (finished the damn jar) and coconut cream. Carbs+protein+fat = balanced meal not really :D

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Day 46.

My tummy was killing me at night. Yoghurt? Chocolate? Chestnuts?

Decided to make yummy breakfast to settle my rebelious friend. Btw, I have to let it out - this palm peeler is genius. If my love life goes to hell I have a peeler to put on my finger. Where have you been all my life?

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Breakfast: sauteed leeks/carrots + cherry tomatoes + avocado + 2 shrimp/sundried tomato/mushroom cups with eggs. Cup of white mango tea (apparently people can live without a morning coffee) + banana + piece of papaya. I am not buying fruits anymore. Ok, not as much.

Gym later and some protein after. My tummy still doesn't feel right. I am a little worried as my Sat wo is usually intense.

My friend's birthday is coming, but I won't be around that day. We planned to do a tea party months ago. Of course I forgot, so when the manager called me to remind about a reservation I paniced. Here is the menu. Wheat introduction time? I wasn't planning to introduce it at all tbh. I am wondering if I can do anything to make this choice a better one?

Dinner out with M. I picked the place, so the meal will be compliant. I found that I secretly enjoy calling restaurants we plan to go and making managers' life miserable with my questions as we go over the menu. I am a horrible person :)

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Oh it looks fab, and so fancy!

It does say

Gluten, vegetarian and special dietary requests or substitution of menu items

must be made known 48 hours prior to scheduled tea reservation.

so you could prob get a gluten free selection if you ordered in advance.

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Oh it looks fab, and so fancy!

Too fancy, I'd say. I find it ridiculos to pay a price of 3 packages of organic compliant sausages for a tea with something sliced THINLY :)

Tea thing is today, so no gluten free alternations. I should ask for "thinly sliced roastbeef" from their menu x 10 on the plate and skip the rest. It will be fun anyways for sure. Plan is to try my best to make best choices possible. I though that I can always pack the rest to go and feed it to less food concious people.

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Day 46. Tea party update. Hello wheat.

Yeah right, best choices possible. Try everything happened to be the choice. Fortunately everything was tiny. My head was spinning from sugar and baked stuff. It was lots of fun regardless, I was really excited about the porcelain and the set up generally. I have a big thing for dinnerware but I try not to buy it, because really, how many plates does one girl need?

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I was full till the rest if the night, cancelled the dinner with M. Ate chicken breast with mashed veggies and went to bed feeling like a fish tank.

Resume: leaving the treats for special occasions. It was good, but not crazy good. I wouldn't want to have it every day. It is not worth the possible consequences.

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Days 47- 48 update.

Nothing much to talk about. The rest of the long weekend was crazy busy (and 99% compliant). It involved lots of family time, love drama and one breakup.

Good stuff:

- I haven't introduced anything new

- I passed on my Mom's homemade bread/peach pie and cheese scones

- I cooked "food our daughter eats" for my Mom and Dad (breakfast + lunch kitchen slavery) and they loved it. As a result Mom is convinced to use coconut oil for cooking (left her my jar), dad loved coffee with coconut milk (tried cm for the first time haha) and both liked spaghetti squash. Bonus: golden star for making momma proud of my cooking skills

- We prepared couple salted salmon steaks with my Dad for me to take home

- My Dad and I went to Bon Jovi concert and it was awesome (my Dad remembers his first show in Moscow back in 1985)

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Not so good stuff:

- I ate ton of pecans/cranberries/dried figs while my family was stuffing themselves with pies and chocolates

- I emotionally ate the whole giant yam from the baking tray straight. Better than cookies, but the pattern “food to the rescue†is killing me

- I didn't have time to cook anything for this week

- I found a chocolate that doesn't affect me. I hope I will never see this brand in any store

- Nausea is back with the double force after every meal and I suspect it's stress

- Skipped Pilates class because of the “Family Dayâ€

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Day 49.

Breakfast: “must utilize†veggies+ ½ bacon strip + mashed avocado + 2 poached eggs (aren't they pretty hehe) + one of the carrot baked things we tried to make with Mom. I might throw away the whole bunch, doesn't even taste good. Other than that – people who think they can't live without a bowl of sweet oatmeal, you have NO IDEA. This is the best breakfast in the world. Period.

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It is raining today, but I still walked to the office. I had to use regular container and part of my lunch has spilled. My bag smells like coconut curry and I really don't mind. I will have spaghetti squash + yellow curry chicken + broccoli + pepper + peach.

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I have my Tuesday wo today on my agenda. I rarely say it as I am a big proponent of “gym no matter whatâ€, but I feel like I should skip the class. It's still early and I might change my mind, but now I really want to go home after work and have a big bowl of soup/watch a movie/do nails/read book/just sleep. Is there a Whole30 for BRAINS? Uff I should read about "positive tetris effect" once again.

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Day 49. Dinner.

I got home 6 hours after lunch (funny how my time perception has changed). No random snacking, so I was crazy hungry. I've been trying to analyze patterns with snack-meal and without. I've noticed that I tend to overeat and sneak random food after, if I do not have a mini meal ready by certain time. I think that I should start planning these pre-dinner meals and include them on a daily basis.

For dinner I quickly sautéed shiitake mushrooms and snow peas in some fancy cured pork belly pancetta wannabe from local organic butcher (not buying again), added spaghetti squash and threw veal meatballs. While everything was cooking I made salad of lettuce, avocado and this spice blend. It has onion salt, sage, Tuscan mixed herbs, garlic, chives, oregano and tumeric. I would never think of mixing those together myself, but even lettuce sings with it.

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I still felt bad that I skipped the gym, but my body screamed “I need restâ€. I had hot coconut milk with banana after and read a book. I went to bed at 9 pm. Uh uh and I did my nails too :)

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