Whole 30 #1 - By any means necessary


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Day 19

So I've been noticing this weird thing. I think it's almost a sense of grief for what I am giving up. And I don't just mean sugar, alcohol, grain etc. I'm giving up ignorance. I can't pretend I don't know better anymore when I'm putting Doritos in my mouth. Or eating three straight meals of bread and butter because "I'm in a hurry!" The other day I actually felt a little panicky about that. It passed, of course, but it was strange nonetheless.

Meal #1:

3 eggs scrambled in ghee with mixed peppers, grape tomatoes, and spinach.

2 cups black coffee

Meal #2:

Chicken breast (curried with raisins, walnuts, 2 Tbs paleo mayo) on a bed of mixed greens and shredded cabbage

Side of Greek cucumber/olive salad

Meal #3:

Meatloaf

Side of roasted beets

Side of roasted asparagus

2 handfuls frozen blueberries

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Day 20 (2/26)

Daughter sick with diarrhea and stomachache. Me with a cough that won't go away. Upside is that the coughing starts around 5:30 am so I've been getting up early and getting lots of writing done.

Meal #1:

Frittata and leftover roasted asparagus

2 cups black coffee

Meal #2:

Meatloaf

1/2 sweet potato with 1 tsp ghee

Roasted brussels sprouts

1/2 cup fruit (strawberries, pineapple, cantaloupe)

Closed handful of raw filberts

(I was very hungry because I ate breakfast at 6:00 am)

Meal #3

Salad with mahi mahi, 2 Tbs olive oil/balsamic, raw shredded cabbage, olive salad.

10 blackberries

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Day 21 (Wednesday, 2/27)

So, I had a meeting this morning which lasted from 9:45-12. Today is my AM and PM carpool drive day so I was hanging out in Framingham for the day. I packed all of the ingredients for an amazing salad and then left it in the 'fridge in my rush to get out the door this morning! So I was forced to forage at the Whole Foods salad bar. I've had good luck there in the past, but today they had neither tuna nor brussel sprout slaw. All of the other protein items had some kind of non-compliant ingredient, so I took 3 hardboiled eggs.

It was not a very satisfying lunch experience. It was truly eating because I knew I had to -- for sustenance rather than enjoyment. Contrast that with the unbelievable breakfast and dinner I had: shredded cabbage and pork with a coconut/sweet potato red curry sauce. OMG! So good. I made it for breakfast and liked it so much I hit replay for dinner.

The one thing I noticed today is that when I don't eat a satisfying (emotionally and physically) meal, I am always ravenous by the next one! I was so hungry tonight that I ate at 6:00 instead of 7:00. I ate two servings of the cabbage and pork, though it was only one portion of protein and one of fat, just a TON of cabbage to bulk it up. And then I still felt unsatisfied. I knew that I'd eaten sufficient volume, so I waited 15 minutes. I still felt like more so I had a closed handful of filberts. And that did it for me. It was enough.

Meal 1:

Shredded cabbage sauteed in 1 tb bacon grease with shredded pork and coconut/sweet potato curry sauce

2 cups black coffee

Meal #2:

Salad with 1/2 small roasted sweet potato, celery, mushrooms, broccoli, tomatoes, olive oil, balsamic vinegar and 3 hardboiled eggs

Meal #3

Shredded cabbage sauteed in water with shredded pork and coconut/sweet potato curry sauce

Closed handful of raw filberts

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Day #22 (Thursday, 2/28)

Went to Bikram this morning. I am still experiencing light-headedness, but I can deal with it. And, my body feels strong as I do the poses, so I'm starting to think that I'm just having trouble with the heat of the new studio. Going to yoga is as luxurious as a full day at the spa and I keep reminding myself that I'm lucky to be able to go. I need to go cancel my gym membership so that I can funnel that money into a) expensive but delicious groceries or B) more yoga!

Meal #1

3 scrambled eggs with brussels sprouts and 1/2 an avocado (left about 1/4 of it on my plate)

2 cups black coffee

Post WO:

1 hardboiled egg

Meal #2:

Salad of mixed vegetables: shredded cabbage, roasted brussels sprouts, red/yellow/orange peppers, grape tomatoes, raspberries and chicken breast with 2 TBs of Tessamae's cracked pepper dressing (not my favorite) (Only ate about 2/3)

Meal #3:

Chicken leg

Side of roasted beets

Side of roasted asparagus

1/2 small sweet potato

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Day #23 (Friday, 3/1)

I used to do a lot of "emotional eating." And that means: when I was happy, when I was nervous, when I was lonely, when I was sad, when I was slightly tipsy because I'd had four vodka and tonics because I was sad.....etc. Last night was hard. One kid whose been watching scary movies at school and now is terrified of going to sleep. A boyfriend who acts like my third child at times. I crawled into bed last night feeling absolutely shredded. Before, I might have comforted myself with ice cream or chocolate. But I stayed true to my course and went to sleep. Or at least tried to. I mostly lay there feeling sorry for myself.

But today, I'm going to the 7:30 am yoga class. I need it.

Meal #1:

Meatloaf

Side of asparagus

Leftover salad from yesterday's lunch

2 cups black coffee (slowly losing desire to have 2!)

Meal #2:

Giant salad with grilled chicken (curried with 2 Tbs paleo mayo, closed handful of dried cherries, closed handful of raw walnuts), shredded cabbage, romaine lettuce, leftover asparagus

Meal #3:

Hamburger patty

Side of Indian Spiced sweet potatoes (http://www.janssushibar.com/indian-spiced-sweet-potatoes/)

Side of Creamy Spice Market kale (well fed)

Today's going to be better. I will make it so!!!

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Day #24 (Saturday, March 3)

Did Bikram again this morning and it went really well. My muscles and body felt strong even though the heat is still a bit hard to take. I need to drink more water afterwards and also get some lemon juice to put into it.

Pre WO:

1 hard-boiled egg

1 closed handful raw filberts

Meal #1:

Meatloaf

Side of broccoli with tomato sauce (WFM fat-free pasta sauce)

1/2 side of leftover roasted sweet potatoes

Meal #2:

Salad with romaine lettuce, roast pork, roast beets, shredded cabbage, 2 Tbs cracked pepper dressing

1/2 an avocado

Meal #3:

Roast pork over bed of steamed broccoli with pasta sauce and sauerkraut

1 closed handful raw filberts

1 closed handful frozen blueberries

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Day #25 (Sunday, March 3)

Started the day with Bikram, then came home and made Chocolate Chili for dinner guests. I've never made chili without about 4 cans of beans, so I was slightly appalled by how skimpy two pounds of ground beef looked in my huge slow cooker. However, I told myself that paired with cornbread (not for me, alas!) salad, and the biggest cupcakes Whole Foods sells (again, not for me), nobody would go home starving.

Meal timing was off a bit because of errands and such, but I made it through.

Pre WO: 1 hard boiled egg. closed handful of raw filberts

Post WO: 1 hard boiled egg

Meal #1:

Pork on a bed of steamed broccoli with pasta sauce

1/2 an avocado

2 cups black coffee

Meal #2:

2 small bowls Chocolate chili

Salad with Tessamae's dressing (1 tb?)

Oddly, I felt really sick as soon as I started eating dinner. I think that when I am really, really hungry, if I eat rich food too quickly (the chili) it has an almost instantaneous effect. Really sharp pains in my gut.

My guests asked a lot about the Whole30, but they are still in the "we could NEVER give up bread and booze" stage. That's ok. They ate seconds on the chili and that's pretty much all that counts. :)

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Day #26 (March 4)

M1:

3 eggs scrambled in coconut oil

Side of broccoli

Side of butternut squash with 1 tsp ghee

2 cups of black coffee

M2:

Tuna salad with homemade paleo mayo & onion, roasted beets, and sauerkraut

Bowl of home-made turnip/butternut squash bisque (made with coconut milk)

M3:

Rogan Josh (Well Fed) w/a few thawed raspberries on leftover salad from yesterday (tomatoes, cucumber, pepper)

Side of roasted cumin-cinnamon carrots (Well Fed)

1/3 of a grapefruit

Was clearly craving fruit. Not sweets, though. I mean, the kids were eating cupcakes and I had no desire. I think maybe I'm a little dehydrated? The acidity of the grapefruit is exactly what I was craving.

Can't believe I am winding down to the end....wow.

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Day #27 (Tuesday, March 5th)

I've had an epiphany. My boyfriend is killing my Whole30! I've got the food thing down; no problems there. But, he is a night owl and I am an early bird and when he's here, I stay up until past midnight and get up at 6:00 am. The cumulative effect is not good. I get much hungrier! I know this is due to the hunger/satiation hormones (grehlin and leptin?).

Yesterday, for the first time since starting this Whole 30, I had a 3rd cup of coffee, and it was after noon. I need to figure out how to make this work and still get my sleep. It's hard when we don't get that much time together because of work and the kids, but still....I never realized how much of an impact it had on me. It really does weaken me.

Meal #1:

Cabbage sauteed in water, with ground beef and leftover rogan josh sauce

2 cups black coffee

Meal #2:

Salad with 3 hardboiled eggs, roasted carrots, cucumber, lettuce, broccoli, 2 Tbs of olive oil and balsamic vinegar

Closed handful of filberts

Meal #3:

Three salmon cakes (ISWF recipe)

Side of brussels sprouts (sauteed in bacon grease)

Side of roasted beets

Cup of frozen sliced strawberries

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I hear that schedule conflict loud and clear! I'm the early bird, husband is the night owl. I used to stay up late to keep him company but man I just can't do it anymore, it wrecks me! I'm up at 5:20 to make lunches and breakfast, I have to be in bed by 10:00. When I'm tired I am so over emotional it's brutal for everyone.

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I think I've been equating staying up late with showing him that I love him, but I bet he'd rather have a well-rested me than the one that yelled at him today for putting the coconut milk on the wrong shelf of the pantry!

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Day 28th (wednesday, 3/6)

So behind in logging...massive sleep deprivation.

M1:

Cabbage and ground beef, sauteed

2 cups of coffee

M2:

Ground beef with cumin & chili

Side of brussels sprouts

Side of roasted beets

M3:

Grilled flat iron steak

Side of broccoli tossed with cracked pepper dressing

Side of pureed sweet potato with cumin and lime

Side of mushrooms sauteed in ghee

Small bowl frozen mango chunks

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Day #29 (Thursday, March 7)

Ok, totally confused. I thought today was day #28....and i was getting completely freaked out because I'm supposed to go skiing this weekend and the bf wants to stay overnight at the "lodge," and I don't want to hassle with bringing a bunch of food. My solution is to convince him to ski closer to home so we don't need a hotel. Cheaper! No kennel for the dog.

Also this will be my first time skiing downhill. I don't really want to do it, but I feel like he just won't hear me when I tell him this. I know this is all pointing to a failure to care for myself, but honestly, I am too tired to deal with it right now.

Meal 1:

2 eggs microwaved

1 salmon cake

Side of broccoli

Leftover sweet potatoes and mushrooms

Meal #2:

Salad: lettuce, cucumber, tomato, beets, chicken chunks, 2tbs olive oil, balsamic

Closed handful of filberts

2/3 grapefruit

Meal #3:

Carnitas

Side of roast asparagus

Salad with tomatoes, apple, and cucumber and dressing (1 Tb almond oil, white vinegar)

Closed handful of marcona almonds

Oh, yeah, my shipment from nuts.com came today!!! So many yummy things.

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Day #30! (March 8th)

This should have been a giant celebration, but, honestly, I slogged and whined my way through this day like a big baby. First of all, it was a snow day. Normally, I can set aside work and hang out with the kids and really enjoy the snow, but I had a client call at 1:00 and the kids were going with their dad at 3:00.

All last week I kept telling myself I'd take of things like buying dog food, but did I? No. And even though I went to the grocery store on Wednesday morning and dropped $300+, I hadn't done my usual OCD menu planning and a lot of what I bought was still in the freezer. I can eat eggs morning, noon, and night, but when my bf's here, I feel like he's expecting something more and that adds a layer of tension.

Anyway...in terms of general mental attitude, yesterday was one of the hardest days of this whole30. I found myself really wanting to just have a glass of wine (or five). I broke my own rule (for the second time) and had a cup of coffee at 3:00 pm. My energy was definitely flagging. Again, I'll attribute it to not listening to my body's need for sleep. I was wiped out yesterday.

Meal #1:

3 eggs over hard with coconut oil, chopped onions and cilantro

Side of sliced grape tomatoes

Side of roasted asparagus

Tomatillo salsa

2 cups black coffee

Meal #2:

Leftover salad from last night with chicken, mixed greens, tomatoes, dressing

1/2 an avocado

2 closed handfuls of marcona almonds (OMG, these almonds....might be no brakes....time will tell. Curse you nuts.com!!!)

Meal #3:

2 no-fuss salmon cakes (might be my favorite thing to cook now!)

Side of water-sauteed baby kale with 1/4 cup coconut milk & nutmeg

Side of carrot salad (carrots, paleo mayo, 1/2 chopped apple, chopped snow peas, cinnamon)

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