Post-45, still learning. W30#2 Planned for 3/15-4/14

[Jessica M.]

Friday was the end of my Whole45. I'd found ISWF over the holidays and jumped with my eyes closed into a Whole30 on January 2, not feeling very brave—more skeptical of my ability to give up so much, cold turkey. Even my best friend was shocked and called to tell me I was crazy. After a couple of weeks, I was adjusting and feeling like I COULD make it to 30 days. In the 20s, I realized it was juuuuuuusssst starting to work, so I should take it to 45 days. Admittedly, I was good on the food part of the W30 plan, not good at the other stuff—sleep, stress management, exercise, mindful eating—I'd grade myself an F for all of those. Still, I lost 12 pounds and am starting to see improvements in mood and attitude. I have at least 70 more pounds to lose (charts say at 5'1" I should be 114-118, I would be happy at 130 or 140), and I am on medications for anxiety and depression I would like to ditch. So, I will be backing off for a couple of weeks and then dragging my husband along on another Whole30, this time hopefully mixing in more sleep and at least a little exercise.

Went off-plan a bit Friday night and had 2 Girl Scout cookies yesterday (Saturday), so have not really done good reintroductions yet. Saturday and Sunday, I had some sour cream and full-fat greek yogurt (plain, with fruit). Thought that went fine, but I did have a stomach ache yesterday. I had a sore throat too, so I thought it was part of that, but perhaps the yogurt.

Just put 2 teaspoons of maple syrup in my coffee with coconut milk. I don't like it enough to tempt my sugar dragons. Back to compliancy for at least a few days. More detail later, need to get out of the house.

[Tom Denham]

I don't mean any disrespect to Girl Scouts, but when I eat cookies, I want them to be much better than Girl Scout cookies!

[Jessica M.]

You know what is so wonderful about girl scout cookies? There are about 65 boxes of them in my house! Ha. We'll be delivering most of those, but we did buy a few from our little Brownie. ;-)

Terrible, terrible day today, and I am "hangry" tonight. Avoided the kitchen as long as I could. Had some freeze dried apple just to shut up the voice in my head that wanted to fill a bowl with cereal and yogurt and peanut butter and chocolate chips. The apple was crunchy. Sufficient. Two months ago I would have headed from my bad afternoon to McDonalds or a giant chocolate bar. So... progress.

Breakfast: 2 hardboiled eggs and 3 small meat/veggie patties containing zucchini, sweet potato, beef and pork, little bit of coconut flour, egg, spices. Coffee with coconut milk and 2 teaspoons of maple syrup. Meh. Blueberries.

Lunch: Was out coaching. Ate a Lara bar. Ran home and out again to chiropractor and errands, had 2 of those meat/veggie things from the fridge and more blueberries.

Dinner: Spaghetti squash with meatballs and sauce. Sweet potato with clarified butter. More blueberries. Was picking on them while I heated up and served the food to the family. Of course my son had chicken, carrots, and apple. Couldn't get him to touch any of the other stuff if I tried, and too drained to try.

Water, water, water, water, of course.

No girl scout cookies. :-)

[Jessica M.]

P.S.— I am reading "Wheat Belly" and having no desire to add back grains (except the two already eaten cookies).

[Terez]

Hat's off to you, Jessica, for jumping in to the Whole30 "cold." I had three+ months of "Primal" under my belt when I started the W30.

Anyway, if I don't have enough fat (or if my meals aren't big enough), that's when I find myself scrounging around for snacks. Based on exactly one day's log here, I'm wondering if your meals could use more fat. Are you adding in a thumb or two of fat (and just not reporting it)? Well, I see you had clarified butter on the sweet potato.

Sixty-five boxes? Wow.

Terez

[Tom Denham]

Your breakfast sounds really good. Those meat/veggie patties sounded like something I would enjoy! But there is a little problem. During a Whole30, maple syrup is considered added sugar. You don't have to restart or anything, but you do need to leave it out of your coffee and anything else for the duration. Of course, it sounds like you did not enjoy it anyway.

[Terez]

But there is a little problem. During a Whole30, maple syrup is considered added sugar. You don't have to restart or anything, but you do need to leave it out of your coffee and anything else for the duration. Of course, it sounds like you did not enjoy it anyway.

This is Jessica's post-Whole30 log, Tom.

[shelley417]

Hi Jessica! I completed a W 45 in November, took a break for the holidays ( added back liquor and some Christmas cookies!). Then started a Whole 100 January 1. The time in between was hard for me too. I am very good at following the rules but not good when it comes to choices. I go down the slippery slope.

I think you did an amazing job with your first W 30. Looking forward to hearing about your progress with the other aspects of the W9 plan.

[Jessica M.]

Thanks, everyone. Yeah, might not add too much back until I have thoroughly retrained myself. I'm afraid that a little leeway could turn into totally off the rails. I'll finish off the Greek yogurt I bought, checking for reactions. Had my dinner out, had my two cookies. I never tried something so "extreme" and the strictness of it worked for me. No head games about what to eat or what not to eat, how much of a treat to have, etc. I don't so much have willpower as stubbornness, so once I said I was doing it, I just did it.

I'd like to be buying better quality meats... working toward shuffling around the budget for that. "Budget." Ha. In the meantime, lots more fresh veggies. For the last six months or so I have been feeling very anti-salad. Trying lots of other stuff now. Have my hubby hooked on roasted butternut squash. ;-)

Yesterday was crazy-food. When I am at work, I do better (except breakfast in the car). And, my veggie co-op lady is sick this week, just when I got used to relying on her for awesome avocados and a surprise box of veggies. So, no avocados yet, or they would have been in breakfast and lunch.

Today, couldn't stomach eggs. Had 4 of the little meat/veggie patties, topped with a bit of coconut butter (my jar is all dry and crumbly, I think I didn't stir it up enough when it was new?). Strawberries. Coffee with coconut milk x 2 travel cups. My coconut milk is all watery this week. Same brand is different every can (Thai Kitchen). Oh well. I am coconut challenged this week. Was still hungry (still depressed and angry from yesterday, so maybe not hungry), had a stupid Lara bar in my bag (should not have bought). Ate half and didn't like it. Threw out the rest. (Blueberry.)

Lunch will be the last ground beef stuffed pepper from last week on top of a couple of cups of baby spinach. Threw 8 olives in there for some added fat (though the veggies in with the beef were sauteed in coconut oil). An apple. I have some brazil nuts if that doesn't fill me up, could add 4-5 of those.

Dinner will likely be spaghetti squash and meatballs like yesterday.

I should probably start logging my mood, sleep, medications also. I have been taking a lot of ibuprofen/naproxen the past couple of years on top of my prescription meds, and I would like to stop all of it.

[Jessica M.]

Hmm. Occurred to me that Saturday and Sunday my...er... elimination was back to being hard little rocks. Probably the dairy? No dairy on Monday and this morning was... let's say, easier. I suppose I should test this theory, since I have half of the $5 yogurt left.

[Terez]

Your coconut butter is just cold. If you have the oven going (say, when you're roasting some squash), you can put the jar of coconut butter on the stove to warm up. But it will get hard again when it's off the stove. (And be careful it doesn't turn brown! I had that happen once when I was warming some up.)

With the canned coconut milk, sometimes it's wonderfully creamy and sometimes it's half-solid and half-watery. When it's the latter, I put it in a pan on really low heat and melt it together. Then I pour it into a jar and put it straight in the fridge. It stays together then. (Usually I melt two cans together, just to have a supply of it. I end up going through coconut milk pretty quickly.)

Terez

[Jessica M.]

Thanks, Terez. I've learned to like it in my coffee (who knew?). I usually whip the can together with a fork and put it in a carafe in the fridge... some cans, it's solid like cool whip, some cans are drippy. Maybe I need to keep the solids for coffee and use the watery part someplace else... soup? Mashed cauliflower? Ok, my coconut butter was in the pantry, and I live in FL, so I figured it was dry by my doing. I'll warm it up. Thanks!

[Terez]

When my cans of coconut milk are separated, the solid is really solid. If I stuck a fork in it, the fork would just stay stuck (no such thing as "whip it" with this hard stuff).

Of course, I'm not in Florida. This time of year my kitchen stays 60 degrees Fahrenheit unless the oven is on.

[Nadia B]

Hi Jessica, I like reading your log and I really want to try your breakfast patties.

Since I have half of the $5 yogurt left.

I had to do the same thing. Half jar and "theory checking" until the jar was done Throwing food away is something that I can not do.

[Jessica M.]

The patties are kind of a loosey goosey version of a recipe in Everyday Paleo (my treat for hitting 30 days). I made 2 different types of meatballs this week. Took half the pound of beef and half the pound of ground pork, 1 small grated sweet potato, 1 grated zucchini, spices, an egg, a sprinkle of coconut flour to make it less wet (less than 1/4 cup). Baked them in the oven... maybe half an hour? They're tasty but a little dry. Maybe next time I will cook them in coconut oil or add another egg. The other batch has just a minced onion in it, not the veggies, and I fried those in olive oil and put them in diced tomatoes and more spices. A little salty, but I put them on spaghetti squash, so the squash pulled out some of the saltiness. :-)

This recipe gave the idea, but my jar of peppers had been in the fridge forever and I have other plans for my spinach:

http://everydaypaleo.com/garden-fresh-meatballs/

[Nadia B]

Good ideas! I think I'll sub coconut flour for almond type. Sundried tomatoes would go there too I think. Mmmm

[Jessica M.]

Holy moly, just had two squares of 85% dark chocolate. Whew! Too dark! Bitter! Not sweet at all! So much for my treat. :-) Maybe on fruit some other time.

After work, had 6 more brazil nuts running to go to my kids' basketball practice. DH is DD's coach. It was fun to see all three of my honeys out there on the courts. Finally ate dinner at like 9:30. Big plate of the spaghetti squash with 3 of my little meatballs and some broccoli with a drizzle of olive oil.

Yesterday was very draining and I stewed in the emotions all day today. Tonight made me smile, and both of my kids were extra lovey dovey. And my dogs always make things better. And my hubby is waiting for me to spend a few minutes on him, so goodnight. :-)

[Jessica M.]

Morning medicine: generic of Wellbutrin and generic of Zyrtec-D

Breakfast: 2 hardboiled eggs, 3 of the little meat/veggie patties, travel mug of coffee with coconut milk.

Lunch: Couple cups of baby spinach wilted under the last of the spaghetti squash with sauce and 4 small meatballs.

Dinner: Chicken filet, brussels sprouts with a little clarified butter, about 1/4 of an avocado. 1/2 cup Greek Yogurt with blueberries and 1 teaspoon organic cane sugar. Realized this is just sugar. Dur.

Later... husband was into the girl scout cookies. Had a bowl of a couple of each. I'd been wanting to try the lemon kind. Had one. Good, not spectacular. Still made me want more sugar. So stupid. Had 1 square of that 85% dark bitter chocolate, not sweet at all.

So. Yogurt. You might not be my friend any more. Maybe dairy was the cause of my constipation all this time (since my kids were born). Sheesh.

Evening meds: generic of Lexapro; my birth control pill.

[Jessica M.]

Almost a week past Whole45.

Mood was ok in the morning, but now I am back to being moody/depressed.

Breakfast: 1 hard boiled egg, 3 of the veggie/meat patties, coffee with coconut milk x 2.

Lunch: 3 strawberries, 5 brazil nuts, pulled pork, couple handfuls of spinach, tiny bit of avocado that was left.

The newness of this way of eating is wearing off, and I am mourning foods I may never have again, if I want to lose the weight and gain the health. Have been reading Wheat Belly. Hubby and kids had bagels the other morning on the way to school. I was like,"Ohhhhh, I'd like a bagel. I can't ever, ever have a bagel again. It's so sad." Of course I could have a bagel once in a blue moon even if I adopt paleo forever. But I look at everything "normal" now and think,"that has to go away forever." Sigh. And I am dealing with some information overload. Part of me wants to throw out everything in the cupboards and thrust the family into better foods cold turkey. I couldn't do that, both due to personalities and finances. Need to make improvements a bit at a time. But now the goldfish crackers that go in the lunch boxes look like little balls of poison. The other part of me wants to forget everything and make some mac and cheese. Ha. not really.

[Jessica M.]

Threw out the Brazil nuts. I don't even like them THAT much an they always push me over into feeling too full. I eat them b/c try are munching crunchy. And not awesome like almonds.

Yesterday I threw out a box of Splenda packets. Change.

Dinner: pear at my mom in law's since head and neck were hurting and kids were not ready to go. Talked about leaky gut and Dr. Oz. my MIL is so great. Came home and had leftover chicken and Brussels sprouts plus sweet potato with butter. Sautéed onion zucchini, mushrooms in some coconut oil and put some w chicken for tomorrow and ate a bit. 2 handfuls of blueberries and 1 square if 85%dark chocolate. Avoiding the Girl Scout cookies.

[Billie Burke]

I'm really enjoying your journey

[Jessica M.]

Thanks! Nice to "see you" here!

[Jessica M.]

Weighed myself this morning. 196.6. So, about 1/2 lb down. Yippie. Then again, my dinner out last Friday left me up two pounds (!) and I have been mixing in yogurt and had a couple of cookies and squares of chocolate. Haven't been crazy with the nuts or fruit. Wonder if I need to use less fat. I don't know. It's been a horribly stressful week (really just Monday but it's lingering in my system). So I think my body is just like,"what the hell?!" I'm kind of impressed with myself I didn't have a pity party and eat all the girl scout cookies or go to McDonald's.

Neck is killing me again. Want to take a nap.

Breakfast... running late, had nothing ready. Ate a lemon Lara Bar on the drive in. Threw 2 raw eggs and a big handful of spinah in a container oiled with coconut oil and microwaved that at work. 2 mugs of coffee with coconut milk. Am I not losing weight because of a couple hundred calories from coconut milk? Probably.

Lunch... banana (trying to eat fruit first if I am going to have it so the sweet taste is not lingering); the sauteed veggies and chicken I made last night. Full. Sleepy. Hurting. Depressed. Bored.

Trying to look to a year from now and see a slim healthy me, saying,"wow, look how far I've come in a year!" Right now it's just feeling like slogging along. I feel broken and I am wondering how long before I start feeling good. Listen up, body! I am cutting out all this stuff so you will feel better! Feel better, damn it!!!

[Jessica M.]

Boy, I keep reading and I keep finding things I think I have. The trouble with the internet.

Seriously though, my stomach has been feeling like it has a rock in it nearly all the time since the middle of my Whole45. Today it is horrible, terrible, awful. And I already have neck/head/sinus pain so I am extra miserable. Feel nearly full all the time even when my head (mind or ache) tells me it's time to eat, then uncomfortably full after whether I eat a little or a lot. I used to only feel like this when I really overate. Like a big baseball is below my rib cage covered in acid.

An hour ago I thought maybe I am sensitive to coconut. I've been having coconut milk every day in my coffee times two big mugs, plus cooking with coconut oil. Now I think it's much more likely I have low stomach acid. Holy mackerel, it could explain everything from this feeling to my issue of constant belching when I am anxious (have done that since I was 17!!!) to constipation to low vitamin B. Off to buy some beet juice.

[seaglassgreen]

Hi I've been enjoying your posts. We have fairly similar stats, I think. I'm 5'1, about 186 (started the new year around 195), and live in FL too. Just wanted to say hello! What brand of 85% chocolate do you have? I've found that they vary WIDELY across brands, in my opinion... I really like Green and Black's 85%, it's somehow still creamy.