Just started working - and I'm not taking care of me

[CrossfitPaleoChic]

After 4 years of being unemployed, I finally was able to secure a position about 25 miles away from my home. The job is great - everything else is not.

I get up early (at 5 -5:30) and usually have to leave the house around 6 to get there without traffic (I start work at 8 - I get to work by 6:30-7. That's not bad - it's the drive home that kills me - I leave work at 5 and get home around 6-6:30, which leaves me hardly any time to eat before I fall into bed exhausted.

I know this sounds like whining and I'm sorry about that. I just feel like I don't have any time to spend with hubby (we live with my elderly mother-in-law who had dementia) or just any time to do anything. I don't remember feeling this way when I had a job before lol.

So, for the last 3 weeks, I've been off the rails and have gained at least 10 lbs, my clothes don't fit, I'm crabby as hell, and my back hurts (I am seeing a chiropractor on Saturday's for that). I notice that I'm not on top of my game - I'm sure I've got some hearing loss going on (I've noticed it before, but notice it much more now that I'm working). I want to restart the Whole 30 since I felt so much better the last time I did it - but I seem to start and stop (hubby doesn't like what I cook, MIL decides to be the food police, and I can't for the life of me figure out lunch or breakfast).

People say it's gonna take about a few months to get "back" into the groove. I was thinking about doing Crossfit in the morning, but I can't find any gyms close to work with showers - so maybe I can change my hours and do it when I get home instead. I'm thought maybe doing morning workouts would be better and would energize me - maybe I could just do walking instead?

I just feel like a total failure at this point - even though I am happy to be working. We do have laundry down (we do that at night). I'd prefer to go for a walk - hubby wants to watch tv. It wouldn't matter as much but his dad had a heart bypass and his mom had a stroke (which is why we are here) and I just see him falling into the same unhealthy trap.

I go to bed at 9 and get up at 5, so technically I am getting about 8 hours of sleep - I just feel like I need more - and I can't tell if that is because my schedule is off or whether it's because I'm not getting any exercise and my diet is not good.

Thanks.

[Kirsteen]

First of all you're not whining and you're not a failure. Get those ideas right out of your head. You're just trying to adapt to particularly difficult circumstances and you're not finding it easy - who would?

Do I think a W30 would help you - absolutely. I guess that's why the book's called It Starts With Food. Get that right and it's easier for the other things to follow. However I totally appreciate that when you're exhausted, chronically short of time and no one likes the food you cook, it can seem overwhelming. I know the W30 is an all or nothing program, it's not one with 'cheat' days or one you can cherrypick from. If you want the benefits you have to follow it completely. However there's nothing to say you can't ease your way into it.

If the thought of it's overwhelming you, why not pick one thing at a time and work up. For instance, first of all cut out any crap, sugary foods, sodas etc, then you could start with breakfasts. Pick something easy like making a batch of egg, meat & veggie muffins at the weekend and grab a couple in the mornings or cooked chicken & salad veg or whatever you like that's easy. You could even find something you could eat in the car on your way to work.

Then move on to lunches. You're at work so your family can't criticise what you're eating. I don't know if you can find compliant food there or if you need to take it with you. If you need advice for packed lunches, just ask. I used to rely on meat and salad but I'm sure others will have loads of ideas.

Then, with two meals under your belt, you can work up to dinner, the meal you share with the family. That's probably the most difficult. Can you find some meals your hubby likes that you can maybe just have different sides? Can he help with the cooking? Just start small and work up, in no time you'll be doing a W30 and feeling better.

At the end of the day, if you don't take care of you, who will? You have an awful lot on your plate right now and I really feel for you. Feel free to ask any questions you have and rant away any time you need to, I'm sure you'll find lots of support and suggestions here. I wish you all the best. Take care.

[missmary]

FIrst, I want to honor your struggle-I believe you that it is a hard transition, and you've got some extra stressors at home that would make anything hard...but I also want you to know that the schedule you describe sounds really quite good! You have perfect built-in time to workout near your office before work, and you get home at a reasonable hour to do something in the evening (whether laundry+TV or walking, etc.)...this is better than a lot of people deal with daily. I'm not saying this to make you feel bad, just so you know it is possible to make it work.

Here's what I would do: find a gym near work, don't be a stickler about crossfit, crossfit probably isn't the best idea right now anyway (we want to keep your cortisol and adrenals in shape, it sounds like you have enough stress at home, let's not add to it with your workouts). Find a cheap gym and get in the habit of going there every morning. WALK on the treadmill or around a track every day. If there is a pool you could swim laps instead. Once you've got that routine established, add complexity: Check and see if they have some intro yoga or pilates or stretching classes in the morning, start a simple bodyweight exercise routine, or hire a trainer to get you working out with weights or TRX or whatever sounds good to you. Just don't worry about getting there right away, take your time.

Similarly, gradual changes might help your family. If you make a habit of a 10-15 minute walk every night after dinner, eventually your husband might join you--just don't let him hold you back in the meantime! On food, I would keep it pretty simple: meat and veggies. If you need to make starch on the side for the others, fine. eventually they will see how fabulous you look and know how great you feel and they will want a little of that for themselves. THAT's the moment you can bring them on-board ...just be patient. The moment will come.

[simonec]

i would try doing W30...with some planning you can make foods ahead that can go to work with you for lunch, and even breakfast. i used to work in an office that i was often there 30 minutes or more before i had to be and i couldn't clock in early, so i'd go for a walk around the block (or walk around the block a few times) then a gym opened up next door and i started doing pilates before work on the days that they offered it and walking on my 15 minute break. don't beat yourself up over needing time to adapt.