SashaySwonk Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 I'm not sure if anyone reads this, but here you go anyway. So I attempted a Whole30 several weeks ago and by Day 5, I had some nuts, which turned into a lot of nuts, which eventually escalated into a magnificent failure of carby, salty, sugar-encrusted abandon. So here I am again, and this time *puts on tough guy shades* I mean business. I did Weight Watchers when I was 15 and all that resulted was amenorrhea and a wonky relationship with food and body image. After seeing a nutritionist (basically, she just told me to eat more and demonstrated this by slowly putting a plastic schmear of peanut butter on top of a plastic bagel. It was uncomfortable to witness), my womanly body functions returned. Sortakinda. Since then I've had a lot of difficulty with binge eating. And I don't just mean daintily finishing off a whole bag of chips in a moment of stress - I'm talking about a bag of chips plus bags of candy, cookies, entire loaves of bread and even quarts of ice cream. It's also not uncommon for the foods I've binged on to have been the counfounding concotions of a desperate weirdo: cold tortillas with maple syrup, canned beans with salt, brown rice with xylitol... If I have a sugar/carb dragon to slay, it probably grows two heads for every head I cut off. It bet it also sings Ke$ha songs on a continuous loop. The effects of binge eating seem to be worsening the older I get. The immediate consequences include heart palpitations, hot flashes (I'm only 24!), and my body hurting all over. Further down the line, I've been experiencing weight gain (no surprise there), hair loss, rashes, irregular periods, adult acne that puts my high school acne to shame, and bouts of depression. I recognize that a lot of this relates to my mental state/self love/other intangible aspects of the mind, so in case anyone's wondering, I am seeing a therapist and definitely not neglecting this aspect of myself. I'm a pretty shy and timid person. I get to work 20 minutes early so I can avoid small talk with my co-workers while riding the elevator. Even when I think I'm projecting my voice, it seems to be interpreted as hesitant whispers. And I feel like most things I set out to do, I drop shortly thereafter as self-doubt deflates my initial drive. I don't desire to come bursting out of my shell singing show tunes covered in glitter and pizazz, I just think it's time for me to live life with a little more gusto. These are the reasons I'm doing a Whole30. I would like to feel healthy and accomplish something that will give me confidence in my ability to well, accomplish things! I'm looking forward to the days ahead, and to be participating in this supportive community. Go us! Additional goals I have over the next 30 days: - Drink more water. - Get at least 7 hours of sleep, ideally 8. - Meditate at least 10 minutes every day. I started yesterday, February 25. So far, so good. I would elaborate, but I should probably get ready for bed if I want to make sure I get this sleep thing down. Hoo boy. Talk about tl;dr. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan W Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 Awesome first post of your second try!! You can do this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orca_chick Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 Amazing post! You're going to rock this Whole 30! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derval Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 Great post! Welcome & good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Tom Denham Posted February 27, 2013 Moderators Share Posted February 27, 2013 I like you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moluv Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 Multiple headed dragon plays KE$HA on a continuous loop- GOLD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bljf1006 Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 I have faith that u can do it! One day at a time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KelBelle Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 I'm going to follow your posts because you made me laugh out loud at my desk. Thanks for that and Good Luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margret McDermott Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 You certainly don't write in "hesitant whispers!" I like your voice! Good luck! I just started the other day myself (on day 4). We can do it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SashaySwonk Posted February 28, 2013 Author Share Posted February 28, 2013 You guys! You read my endless babel and then you were all really nice and supportive about it! Thank you. I mean that with a sincerity that could crush entire armies. c: Day 3: Peeing Like It's 1999 I tend to retain water, especially in my face (I call it my camel hump). So whenever I go on some sort of diet, I immediately start to lose water weight. The bathroom situation at my workplace involves getting a key from my boss's office, which makes the whole process feel very conspicuous and sort of childish, so I try to limit my bathroom use as much as possible. If I were lounging in the comfort of my own home, I probably would have peed over 10 times today. But since I was at work, it was condensed into several frantic sessions of speed walking and sighs of relief as potential pants-wetting crises were averted. On the upside, my body is literally deflating and it's nice to be able to zip and button my jeans again. Other than the pissituation (see what I did there?), I'm still feeling pretty good. Waking up this morning felt more difficult than the previous morning, but since I have to wake up at 5:15 AM, I'm rarely feeling awesome when I get up. I know some people who've been Paleo for quite a while now who say their eyes just pop open around 4:45 AM - without the aid of an alarm clock. Sure, they're back in bed by 9:00 PM, but this still seems like a super power to me. I am adding it to my list of most desirable super powers; It would be just under pausing time and knowing what to say to attractive men. I walked by a bakery this morning and while the smells emanating from it made me briefly consider how awesome it would be fall asleep nestled inside a giant, fresh-baked, brioche (seriously, imagine it!), I was not tortured by them. It's only Day 3, so my resolve is still iron-clad and if anything, those smells made me feel like an intrepid warrior. I was so engrossed in this manly fervor that I could have kicked a nearby pigeon - I didn't, of course. What kind of jerk do think I am? My head feels a bit foggy, but by no means achy. And while I was anticipating going about my day with a majorly bad attitude, I seem to be feeling more cheery than usual (I think the kind things you all had to say has contributed to this). Rad! Breakfast: - Vegetable soup (carrots, parsnips, celery, onions, leeks, chicken broth, olive oil, various herbs… probably some other stuff I'm forgetting) - Chicken sausage - Cup of coffee Not sure if the oil in the soup and the fat in the sausage was substantial enough, but I wasn't ravenous by lunch time. Lunch: - Leftover turkey taco meat (from this recipe) on salad - Guacamole and salsa Dinner: - Side salad (spinach, red leaf lettus, cabbage, radishes, red peppers) w/ balsamic vinaigrette. - Brussle sprouts sauteed in ghee with garlic. - Ribeye I am the queen of snacks, so going through a whole day snack-free is kind of a big deal. Did I drink enough water? All 8 glasses, brah! Did I get at least 7 hours of sleep (ideally 8)? Barely eked out 7 hours, but it seems like I'll conk out earlier tonight. Did I meditate for at least 10 minutes? Like a boss! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nadia B Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 I love your posts and attitude, you are hilarious. I had the same pissituation today (going to the washroom involved passing by opened door conference room with all the big bosses including the company owner), so I had great laugh reading about speed walking. Seriously, it was almost a workout Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan W Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 You are going to be so much fun to follow! Now slip me that key and I'll go make a copy or three. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bljf1006 Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 I agree with everyone, ur way of saying things makes me smile (hope u do well under pressure to perform??) ;P The sleeping power is incredible and I'd say is quick to react and yet gradual. I had to set my alarm for 7, so waking up at 6 was ridiculously awesome! Then it started to move to 5:30, then 5:00, and yesterday I woke up at 4:45 so since ur alarm is set for 5:15, it might take a bit before you start to notice the difference it is pretty cool tho to wake up at 5:30 on a Saturday and have loads of time to do stuff!! (And to not miss sleeping in cuz ur well-rested ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SashaySwonk Posted March 1, 2013 Author Share Posted March 1, 2013 I have no idea how to use online forums, so l apologize if I'm doing this all wrong! I love your posts and attitude, you are hilarious. I had the same pissituation today (going to the washroom involved passing by opened door conference room with all the big bosses including the company owner), so I had great laugh reading about speed walking. Seriously, it was almost a workout Thanks Nadia B! I'm glad you can relate to the pissituation. We shall be pee friends. The sleeping power is incredible and I'd say is quick to react and yet gradual. I had to set my alarm for 7, so waking up at 6 was ridiculously awesome! Then it started to move to 5:30, then 5:00, and yesterday I woke up at 4:45 so since ur alarm is set for 5:15, it might take a bit before you start to notice the difference it is pretty cool tho to wake up at 5:30 on a Saturday and have loads of time to do stuff!! (And to not miss sleeping in cuz ur well-rested ) bljf1006, you're getting me super excited about these sleeping powers. I don't have to be anywhere tomorrow, so I'm very curious to see when I naturally wake up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SashaySwonk Posted March 1, 2013 Author Share Posted March 1, 2013 Day 4: And So It Begins... Okay. Now I get it. This is when it starts to feel crummy. At first it seemed like things would go smoothly again, but somehow, by around 10:00 AM, I felt like I was swaddled in a heavy, scratchy, lint-covered blanket of “Meh.†Time slowed down to a crawl and I was starting to fantasize about all the passive-aggressive emails I wished to send people (Greetings co-worker! I reviewed your report. Please stop being so sucky. Cheers, SashaySwonk). When I got home, I felt simultaneously exhausted and antsy. I saw the empty cartons of Swedish Fish and Triscuits I had polished off the night before Day 1 in the trash bin, and briefly wished they were still full of their contents. I didn't crave the food so much as I craved the experience of being swept up in an escapist junk food trance wherein Salt and Sugar take me by the hand and say, “Come friend, join us. Forget your worries, your to-do lists, and your failures, and just watch these cat videos instead.†Thankfully, because it's still very early on in the game, I had enough sense to go exercise instead. I haven't exercised in over a month, maybe two, so I was definitely not expecting any feats of athleticism from myself. My intention was to do some light, sprint intervals on the treadmill. Technically I accomplished this - in a very floppy, sweaty, and panting sort of way. I then jumped on a mini trampoline for a bit - in an equally floppy and sweaty manner - but this time to the beat of really terrible, electronic music that may or may not contain homicidal subliminal messages. All of this totaled 24 minutes of flailing that no one should ever have to witness. But it did manage to make me feel a smidge better. On a more positive note, my eyes popped open just seconds before my alarm went off at 5:15. You guys. YOU GUYS! This might be the flickering of a super power taking shape. Additionally, I saw a total of four, full-grown dogs that were about the size of guinea pigs. I'm not usually enamored with tiny canines, but seeing so many of them was baffling and a little delightful. They were all chihuahuas except for one that was an indeterminate breed of mystery. If I had to give him a name, it would be Scraggles Magoo. Breakfast: - Vegetable soup - Chicken sausage - Cup of coffee This has been my breakfast the past four days. I'm getting tired of it. Do you think it's okay for me to break up with it in a text message? Lunch: - Baked chicken on salad with balsamic vinaigrette. - Leftover sauteed brussel sprouts. Dinner: - Side salad w/ balsamic vinaigrette. - Snap pees sauteed in ghee and coconut aminos. - Pad Thai with Chicken on shirataki noodles The more I think about it, the more I wonder if the Shirataki noodles are Whole30 compliant. Meh, they're grain-free, tasteless, and smell like farts. I doubt I'll have a weird emotional attachment to them. Did I drink enough water? Yup yup! Did I get at least 7 hours of sleep (ideally 8)? Closer to 7.5 this time! Did I meditate for at least 10 minutes? Yessir. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EileenRBe Posted March 1, 2013 Share Posted March 1, 2013 I'm post W30 (January), still mostly compliant, and busy with a new job so lurking a bit in the forums. But I just had to jump in and give you a shoutout. Your username snagged me in, your story tugged at my heartstrings, and your writing is dee-lightful, I love it. Best of luck in your journey. I will be following you and rooting for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nadia B Posted March 1, 2013 Share Posted March 1, 2013 Hey pee buddy! Nono, this soy thing that looks like noodles is totally out. Throw it away and lets pretend it never happened who needs them anyways when you can make zoodles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyS Posted March 1, 2013 Share Posted March 1, 2013 You are fun and I may want to marry you. (Err, but I don't mean that in a crazy stalkerish way, promise. ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan W Posted March 1, 2013 Share Posted March 1, 2013 Hey pee buddy! Nono, this soy thing that looks like noodles is totally out. Throw it away and lets pretend it never happened who needs them anyways when you can make zoodles. Actually, Nadia, they are not made from soy. They are made from one of two Japanese yams. Not anything like the yummy yams. I think they also have one made of seaweed, but they manage to strip them of nutrients. You are right about the ick factor and your suggestion to dump them. They have very little nutrition and are mostly water and water soluble fiber. Zoodles ans spag squash are such a better choice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nadia B Posted March 1, 2013 Share Posted March 1, 2013 Actually, Nadia, they are not made from soy. They are made from one of two Japanese yams. Not anything like the yummy yams. I think they also have one made of seaweed, but they manage to strip them of nutrients. You are right about the ick factor and your suggestion to dump them. They have very little nutrition and are mostly water and water soluble fiber. Zoodles ans spag squash are such a better choice. Thanks for pointing out. I stand corrected as I assumed that there is one type of them. The only ones I saw in supermarkets here contained tofu as first ingredient. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SashaySwonk Posted March 2, 2013 Author Share Posted March 2, 2013 I'm post W30 (January), still mostly compliant, and busy with a new job so lurking a bit in the forums. But I just had to jump in and give you a shoutout. Your username snagged me in, your story tugged at my heartstrings, and your writing is dee-lightful, I love it. Best of luck in your journey. I will be following you and rooting for you! Thank you so much EileenRBe! The fact that you titled your log "Bill and Eileen's Excellent Whole30 Adventure" makes me all the more excited that you are following me. You are fun and I may want to marry you. (Err, but I don't mean that in a crazy stalkerish way, promise. ) As a professional square, I'm very glad that you think I am fun, AmyS. And I am beyond flattered that you would marry me, regardless if you were a crazed stalker. Hey pee buddy! Nono, this soy thing that looks like noodles is totally out. Throw it away and lets pretend it never happened who needs them anyways when you can make zoodles. Actually, Nadia, they are not made from soy. They are made from one of two Japanese yams. Not anything like the yummy yams. I think they also have one made of seaweed, but they manage to strip them of nutrients. You are right about the ick factor and your suggestion to dump them. They have very little nutrition and are mostly water and water soluble fiber. Zoodles ans spag squash are such a better choice. Yeah, the noodles I was using thankfully don't have any soy in them (just the forgotten souls of yams), but they're definitely not a whole, nutrient-packed food. My diet-wired brain is so used to zero=good that I completely failed to realize they don't fit within the guidelines. I'll go ahead and hire two guys in track suits named Tony and Joey Meatballs to... take care of them. You won't be hearing from them again. c: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SashaySwonk Posted March 2, 2013 Author Share Posted March 2, 2013 Day 5: Disinterested with a Side of Who Cares The linty “Meh†blanket I was wrapped in yesterday has evolved in to a very large, furry and sentient “Blah†monster. I shall call it the Blahnster. Whenever I suggested we do something, be it straightening up the house, going to see a movie, planning an evening with friends or going for a walk, the Blahnster would flop down onto the ground and sigh “I'd rather not,†“What's the point?†or just “mmmmuuggggffff.†The Blahnster also insisted that I carry it around everywhere, which made getting up out of chairs, walking and just moving in general feel like a struggle. I also was feeling much more hungry today, but, as suggested by the Whole30 Daily emails, whenever I envisioned someone bringing me a platter of steamed fish and vegetables, I immediately envisioned myself slapping it away in disgust. Bring me a platter of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and then we'll start talking. Throw in some loaves of dense, rustic, artisan breads and I'll tell you where Curly's gold really is. Thus I knew I wasn't actually hungry. I've made it through today, although I ended dinner with several handfuls too many of nuts. The more I ate, the more I told myself that this was starting to mirror my previous Whole30 failure, and I should probably stop. But then the Blahnster would step in and say, “It. Just. Doesn't. Matter†and then roll to the ground in resignation, pinning my feet down and preventing me from getting far away from those cashews. I eventually got myself to stop, but I didn't like it. Eating the rest of the nuts sounded endlessly more rewarding than regaining my health, conquering my disordered relationship with food and proving to myself that I can accomplish things. I mean, isn't the choice obvious? Cashews, like, taste good and stuff. I think the best thing for me to do is just go to sleep. I don't see the Blahnster anywhere, but I'm worried that if I look in the mirror I'll discover that I have become it. Breakfast: - Two eggs fried in ghee - The rest that cursed vegetable soup - Leftover sauteed snap peas - Cup of coffee Lunch: - Leftover steak on a gigantic salad - Sunshine Sauce with some curry powder added Dinner: - Turkey burgers on greens - Steamed broccoli - Too many cashews and macadamia nuts Did I drink enough water? Check, Did I get at least 7 hours of sleep (ideally 8)? Check, Did I meditate for at least 10 minutes? Aaaaand check. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyS Posted March 2, 2013 Share Posted March 2, 2013 First, I'm delighted to know you don't mind if I stalk you. Putting in an order for black clothing and surveillance gear NOW. Second, "the forgotten souls of yams"???? That may be one of the funniest things I have ever read ever ever. Hahahaha (etc.) Third, I'm sorry the Blahnster hit you with a ton of bricks. Here's hoping tomorrow feels better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derval Posted March 2, 2013 Share Posted March 2, 2013 Dear Blahnster PFO. Regards, Derval C. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moluv Posted March 2, 2013 Share Posted March 2, 2013 Macklemore videos (particularly "Thriftshop" and "And We Danced") are like Kryptonite to my Blahnster. No lie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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