SashaySwonk Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 I'm not sure if anyone reads this, but here you go anyway. So I attempted a Whole30 several weeks ago and by Day 5, I had some nuts, which turned into a lot of nuts, which eventually escalated into a magnificent failure of carby, salty, sugar-encrusted abandon. So here I am again, and this time *puts on tough guy shades* I mean business. I did Weight Watchers when I was 15 and all that resulted was amenorrhea and a wonky relationship with food and body image. After seeing a nutritionist (basically, she just told me to eat more and demonstrated this by slowly putting a plastic schmear of peanut butter on top of a plastic bagel. It was uncomfortable to witness), my womanly body functions returned. Sortakinda. Since then I've had a lot of difficulty with binge eating. And I don't just mean daintily finishing off a whole bag of chips in a moment of stress - I'm talking about a bag of chips plus bags of candy, cookies, entire loaves of bread and even quarts of ice cream. It's also not uncommon for the foods I've binged on to have been the counfounding concotions of a desperate weirdo: cold tortillas with maple syrup, canned beans with salt, brown rice with xylitol... If I have a sugar/carb dragon to slay, it probably grows two heads for every head I cut off. It bet it also sings Ke$ha songs on a continuous loop. The effects of binge eating seem to be worsening the older I get. The immediate consequences include heart palpitations, hot flashes (I'm only 24!), and my body hurting all over. Further down the line, I've been experiencing weight gain (no surprise there), hair loss, rashes, irregular periods, adult acne that puts my high school acne to shame, and bouts of depression. I recognize that a lot of this relates to my mental state/self love/other intangible aspects of the mind, so in case anyone's wondering, I am seeing a therapist and definitely not neglecting this aspect of myself. I'm a pretty shy and timid person. I get to work 20 minutes early so I can avoid small talk with my co-workers while riding the elevator. Even when I think I'm projecting my voice, it seems to be interpreted as hesitant whispers. And I feel like most things I set out to do, I drop shortly thereafter as self-doubt deflates my initial drive. I don't desire to come bursting out of my shell singing show tunes covered in glitter and pizazz, I just think it's time for me to live life with a little more gusto. These are the reasons I'm doing a Whole30. I would like to feel healthy and accomplish something that will give me confidence in my ability to well, accomplish things! I'm looking forward to the days ahead, and to be participating in this supportive community. Go us! Additional goals I have over the next 30 days: - Drink more water. - Get at least 7 hours of sleep, ideally 8. - Meditate at least 10 minutes every day. I started yesterday, February 25. So far, so good. I would elaborate, but I should probably get ready for bed if I want to make sure I get this sleep thing down. Hoo boy. Talk about tl;dr. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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