EileenRBe Posted March 2, 2013 Share Posted March 2, 2013 "the forgotten souls of yams"???? That may be one of the funniest things I have ever read ever ever. Hahahaha (etc.)Third, I'm sorry the Blahnster hit you with a ton of bricks. Here's hoping tomorrow feels better. AmyS articulated my thoughts. I really did LOL at the yams thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SashaySwonk Posted March 3, 2013 Author Share Posted March 3, 2013 Macklemore videos (particularly "Thriftshop" and "And We Danced") are like Kryptonite to my Blahnster. No lie. I'm crazy out of the loop when it comes to popular music, so I haven't seen either of these until now. This is exactly what I needed. Beautiful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SashaySwonk Posted March 3, 2013 Author Share Posted March 3, 2013 Day 6: All Bad Things Must Come to an End I woke up this morning immediately noticing the absence of the Blahnster. Excited, I enthusiastically threw my sheets to the side and sat up in bed, only to start choking on my own spit, slightly killing the moment and making me question how millions of years of evolution had managed to produce a creature as magnificent as myself. Once again I exercised with the stamina and elegance of Barney Gumble. My pushups dwindled into girl pushups and finally just the slightest of elbow bends while I tried to stifle whimpers. But I exercised nevertheless! That's not the sound of me clapping you're hearing; that's me high-fiving myself. I even went for a stroll around the lake with some friends. I get really reclusive when I'm feeling down and for the past month my social life has pretty much consisted of me ignoring calls and turning down invitations (I must sit in the corner, shrouded in contempt and this Snuggie, with only darkness to keep me company. Because of this, I will not be attending your Gossip Girl Glitter Gala). Honestly, I don't know why I still have friends, but I do. And they are wonderful to walk around lakes with. I'm still losing hair, although it does seem to be slowing down. When just a few week ago I was cleaning out a handful of hair from the shower drain on a daily basis, it now seems to be the handful of a small child or perhaps a macaque. I am confident that by the end of all this my hair will be staying on my head where it belongs. My skin continues to be a mess, but I'm chalking that up to the “it gets worse before it gets better†rule. I'm often disappointed by the fact that while you can hide a freakishly long tailbone or a full back tattoo of Joey Fatone with some jeans and a shirt, there are no items of clothing that can hide a spotty face. And no, ski masks are not a solution to this problem. Oh well. I'm pretty confident that this too will get better and I'm eagerly awaiting the day that this happens. Breakfast: - Sweet Potato Hash with Fried Eggs - Leftover steamed broccoli - Cup of coffee Lunch: - Leftover turkey burger on a big ol' salad with balsamic vinaigrette - A very small apple Seriously, what business do you have being that small, apple? Dinner: - Chicken sausage fried in ghee - Broccoli cooked in coconut oil with garlic, almonds and cumin Did I drink enough water? Not quite. Did I get at least 7 hours of sleep (ideally 8)? Closer to 9. Guess I needed it. Did I meditate for at least 10 minutes? Yes, and it was grand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
30Canandaigua Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 Dear Sashayswonk, Hey girl. You must be a brother from a different mother, because your log demonstrates odd similarities to my first log. My current log is somewhat bland, similar to anything made with ground turkey... such as the cat poop cookies I made in Jan. I appreciate someone else willing to alienate this forum. Please post video of your workouts. Fondly, Swaggersloth P.s. I went from removing a dead gerbil out of the drain daily, to a few whiskers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simonec Posted March 4, 2013 Share Posted March 4, 2013 i LOVE your writing style...oddly, i found your log while searching for "poop" related posts...hehe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SashaySwonk Posted March 5, 2013 Author Share Posted March 5, 2013 Dear Sashayswonk, Hey girl. You must be a brother from a different mother, because your log demonstrates odd similarities to my first log. My current log is somewhat bland, similar to anything made with ground turkey... such as the cat poop cookies I made in Jan. I appreciate someone else willing to alienate this forum. Please post video of your workouts. Fondly, Swaggersloth P.s. I went from removing a dead gerbil out of the drain daily, to a few whiskers. Haha, the only way I imagine cat poop cookies being acceptable on any level is when you make cookies that have an unfortunate resemblance to cat poop. If this is not the case, then I certainly hope you used compliant cat poop. And post videos of me working out?! You are cruel, Swaggersloth . Actually, if you want videos of the workouts I do, I've been following Zuzka Light off and on for a while now. Try to look past her propensity for wearing low-cut tops that show off her assertive boobs. I like her low-key energy and as long as you make sure to do what's comfortable for you and are mindful of what your knees and back are doing, I think it's worthwhile. i LOVE your writing style...oddly, i found your log while searching for "poop" related posts...hehe Thank you simonec! I am very pleased that "poop" led you here. It's probably in my top five favorite words. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SashaySwonk Posted March 5, 2013 Author Share Posted March 5, 2013 Day 7 & 8: Souper Powers Day 7 was a day of cooking like maniac in preparation for the week ahead. I roasted some chicken and made large batches of soups that I can have for breakfast. I like having soup for breakfast because a. all I have to do is hit some microwave buttons and POW! Breakfast is ready. b. it's an easy way for me to get vegetables into my breakfasts. The older I get and the more taste buds I lose, the more enjoyable I find vegetables, but this does not make me a veggie lover. I simply cannot relate to those people who skip around proclaiming their love for raw kale and bean sprouts. Ug, why don't you marry them? I find the thought of a salad for breakfast absolutely repellant, so it's nice to be able to sneak some of that plant matter into my soups. And while I don't consider myself to be a great cook, I know enough to follow a recipe, and that seems to be serving me well enough. Honestly, sometimes I'm a little embarrassed to share my food log here because y'all have really good taste! I think I even spotted someone having pâté for breakfast once. But it's all good. People who don't really care about how their food tastes bum me out. I'm in good company. For some reason I didn't sleep that well last night and I woke up feeling very unfriendly towards the peppy acoustic guitar music of my phone's alarm. Because of this minor sleep deprivation, I've been in a dreamy, disconnected state all day. It's been weirdly pleasant. I feel like I'm watching a character in an antidepressant commercial after they've started taking Lexaprozaxiloft and now they're calmly walking down tree-lined streets in gorgeous, soft-focused light - minus the voiceover discussing potential oily discharge and thoughts of suicide. I took a stroll through a beautiful little park in town, found a shaded bench, and just absorbed the flowering trees, dapper ducks, crisp breeze and friendly chatter of nearby patrons. I often make the common mistake of wishing I wasn't Here but instead Over There, where life is better and the grass is, of course, greener. But once you get to Over There, it turns into a new Here, and you're back where you started. Today I watched myself in a place where Here and Over There overlapped, and it was lovely. Breakfast: Day 7 - Two eggs fried in ghee - Sauteed cabbage and onions - Sliced strawberries - Cup of coffee Day 8 - Shitake mushroom and dill soup (also with leeks, onions, carrots, coconut aminos, olive oil, bay leaves, pepper) with chicken sausage. - Cup of coffee Lunch: Day 7 - Chicken sausage with sauteed onions and peppers - Broccoli, carrot, jicama and cabbage coleslaw with homemade, compliant mayo and various spice rack stuff Day 8 - Roasted chicken on salad w/ balsamic vinaigrette - Leftover sauteed zucchini noodles Dinner: Day 7 - Mustard salmon - Sauteed zucchini noodles - Asparagus with coconut aminos - Side salad with balsamic vinaigrette Day 8 - Side salad w/ the usual dressing - Steamed artichoke with homemade mayo and lemon juice - Moroccan Lamb Meatballs Did I drink enough water? Yes, both days. Once more a citizen of Hydration Nation. Did I get at least 7 hours of sleep (ideally 8)? Yes on Day 7, not sure what happened on Day 8. Did I meditate for at least 10 minutes? Yes, and it felt goooood. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EileenRBe Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 Lexaprozaxiloft This word gave me a giggle fit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SashaySwonk Posted March 6, 2013 Author Share Posted March 6, 2013 Day 9: Crabby Patty The pleasant SashaySwonk from yesterday seams to have floated off and been replaced by a much angrier SashaySwonk. My emotional spectrum generally spans from happiness to deep sadness and sort of skips anger entirely. Because I'm so unaccustomed with anger, the times that I do experience it usually result in laughably unimpressive attempts at expressing it. Once, while overwhelmed with a seething rage regarding my entire existence (or something along those melodramatic lines), I decided I would indulge my destructive urges. Now determined to destroy something, I set about carefully considering which accessible items would be alright to mess up without upsetting anyone, thus negating any credibility I had as a source of chaotic wrath. Ultimately I settled on a piñata and a cheap paperback copy of The Hobbit. While the first item was intended for destruction, the latter causes people to throw a fit when I tell them this story - almost as if Tolkien has generations of fans whose adoration has deemed his work as timeless classics and has produced Oscar-winning blockbusters or something. Today, my anger is creating destructive urges that of course revolve around food. I walked by a Ben and Jerry's ice cream parlor and briefly thought, “I'll do what I want. Forget this Whole30, forget my future, forget everything. I don't give a shirt! Not even the hideous plaid one!!!†It's as if I've been begrudgingly studying and doing my homework while creeping precariously close to the edge of becoming a burnout. I am so tempted to cut class and go smoke with Banana Nut Muffins, tag some walls with Cheez-Its, get drunk on private property with Kit Kat Bars, and maybe, if I want to get into some serious trouble, hang out out with those Cake Donuts. They'll do anything. I have not succumbed to these urges, but I'd be lying if I said I was happy about it. Breakfast: - Curried Cream of Broccoli Soup - Chicken sausage cooked in ghee - Cup of coffee Lunch: - Mushroom dill soup - Roasted chicken - Cabbage and onions sauteed in ghee - Some blackberries and strawberries Dinner: - Ground Pork in Endive Boats - Snap peas sauteed in ghee and coconut minos - Side salad with the usual dressing Did I drink enough water? Not quite. Did I get at least 7 hours of sleep (ideally 8)? Yes Did I meditate for at least 10 minutes? Yes, though as you can see, my tranquil state was short-lived. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EileenRBe Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 Hate All Things phase will pass. The husband and I went through it at the same time. Washing our nightly mountain of dishes together on those nights was not a pretty scene. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
30Canandaigua Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 You're badass with your Cake Donuts and Cheez-Its. Snort. http://forum.whole9life.com/topic/7847-a-little-humor/ This was posted earlier, I found it to be highly amusing. I hope you do too! If not you can envision drowning me in a vat of pistachio pudding. P.s. I stuck a post it note on my computer that said "kill all the things"... which ultimately saved my computer from being smashed into smithereens... and the lives of several co-workers... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SashaySwonk Posted March 7, 2013 Author Share Posted March 7, 2013 Hate All Things phase will pass. The husband and I went through it at the same time. Washing our nightly mountain of dishes together on those nights was not a pretty scene. Hahaha, I can only imagine! The day this ends will be so very sweet. So. Very. Sweet. You're badass with your Cake Donuts and Cheez-Its. Snort. http://forum.whole9l...a-little-humor/ This was posted earlier, I found it to be highly amusing. I hope you do too! If not you can envision drowning me in a vat of pistachio pudding. P.s. I stuck a post it note on my computer that said "kill all the things"... which ultimately saved my computer from being smashed into smithereens... and the lives of several co-workers... Aaaaah, I loved the link! "...grains are fine but before you eat them you must prepare them in the traditional way: by long soaking in the light of a new moon with a mix of mineral water and the strained lacto-fermented tears of a virgin." Perfect. Thank you for sharing, I needed that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SashaySwonk Posted March 7, 2013 Author Share Posted March 7, 2013 Day 10: You sure this isn't Day 9? I'm still not in the clear. My cravings still ominously hum in the back of my mind like a hornets' nest that you hear but can't see. I continue to fantasize about feasts composed entirely of foods that likely have a minimum shelf-life of five years. I just now deleted quite a bit of text that went into intricate detail on how my imaginary junk food feast would be carried out. This Whole30 is much more of a mental challenge for me, rather than a physical one. Discussing how I would interchange sweet crap and salty crap (while throwing in some palate-cleansing crap at regular intervals), is putting energy into the problem, not the solution. So I'm trying to flip my focus back on to why I'm doing a Whole30 and really connect with the emotional rewards the end of this journey has in store for me. Stay strong, young Swonk. You will get through this and when you do, you'll question why any of this was a big deal in the first place. Stay strong. Breakfast: - Curried Cream of Broccoli Soup - Chicken sausage cooked in ghee - Cup of coffee Lunch: - Leftover ground pork on salad - Sesame Ginger Dressing - Leftover snap peas. - Some curried sweet potatoes that were dangerously tasty, so I had an apple instead Dinner: - Sole piccatta - Sauteed zucchini noodles - Steamed string beans with home made mayo - Side salad w/ balsamic vinaigrette Did I drink enough water? Not quite. Did I get at least 7 hours of sleep (ideally 8)? Not quite. Did I meditate for at least 10 minutes? Yes, and I needed it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dukunbayi Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 You have a tremendous flippin gift, li'l sister, and I'm gonna keep reading this great stuff you're writing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KelBelle Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 Just here to say go on with your bad self! Earlier when you said you wanted to sleep inside a warm brioche (you said it more elegantly than that I think) - I completely identify with that feeling still and I'm on Day 17. You can keep chocolate cake and ice cream; give me BREAD and NOODLES - both with butter please. Perhaps for Those Who Once Binged (I'm a member so I can capitalize it), that urge will always be floating in our subconscious. I hope not, but I'm going to start treating that voice like a sweet child that just needs a little discipline instead of giving in to it likes its my boss. Good job at refocusing the energy...I probably shouldn't even write words "bread" and "noodles" (see above) as somewhere a bowl of macaroni is coming to live because of it, but it is done and I am not erasing. Damn I said macaroni! You are inspiring me to meditate too. Thanks for that and for being so honest in your writing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SashaySwonk Posted March 8, 2013 Author Share Posted March 8, 2013 You have a tremendous flippin gift, li'l sister, and I'm gonna keep reading this great stuff you're writing. Stop it, dukunbayi, you're making me feel good about myself! I appreciate it though. Just here to say go on with your bad self! Earlier when you said you wanted to sleep inside a warm brioche (you said it more elegantly than that I think) - I completely identify with that feeling still and I'm on Day 17. You can keep chocolate cake and ice cream; give me BREAD and NOODLES - both with butter please. Perhaps for Those Who Once Binged (I'm a member so I can capitalize it), that urge will always be floating in our subconscious. I hope not, but I'm going to start treating that voice like a sweet child that just needs a little discipline instead of giving in to it likes its my boss. Good job at refocusing the energy...I probably shouldn't even write words "bread" and "noodles" (see above) as somewhere a bowl of macaroni is coming to live because of it, but it is done and I am not erasing. Damn I said macaroni! You are inspiring me to meditate too. Thanks for that and for being so honest in your writing. Ahaha, yes. During these delicate times, it might be best to avoid words like "bread" and instead use "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named." And I'm so pleased that I am inspiring you to meditate. I find it to be a magical switch that turns off dumb, sad thoughts and ten times out of ten makes me feel better - I just always forget about it during those times that I need it most. :/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SashaySwonk Posted March 8, 2013 Author Share Posted March 8, 2013 Day 11: Stupid Nuts and Joyrides Last night I caved and had four strawberries, which led to an apple, which led to half a bag of cashews. I want to wig out over this, but the Ghost of Binges Past just floated in and reminded me of times where I've set down quarts of ice cream onto desks covered in cupcake wrappers and empty cookie sleeves. The opiate numbness of the sugar rush would be subsiding and all that remained was frustration, regret and roomy pajamas with elastic waistbands. Point taken, Ghost of Binges Past. I won't wig out. Last night could have been much, much worse. It wasn't ideal but it wasn't really a big deal either. I'm letting it go like a fart without company. Thankfully, today I had the day off. I had scheduled a doctor's appointment (haven't had a physical in ages) and the physician I see practices about an hour away from where I live. There's only a handful of weeks when this part of California is green. The rest of the year it's just brown and on fire. Today I was lucky enough be driving up the coast during this short window of time when the scenery is at its best. The Pacific Ocean was on my left, rolling green hills swathed in yellow mustard blooms and purple lupin and speckled with cows were on my right, and rain-filled nimbus clouds billowed on the horizon. I had the road pretty much to myself, occasionally passing by a semi steadily toting its mystery cargo to some faraway place. It was an hour of not having to do anything but drive and admire while gentle folksy songs sung by sad men with beards floated out of my stereo. I saw my doc, got confirmation that I hadn't grown a second head on my spine or contracted any flesh-eating diseases since my last visit, and was sent home; the drive back being just as soul-nourishing as the first. The cravings continue, but thankfully, so do pretty clouds and wildflowers. Breakfast: - Mushroom dill soup - Two eggs cooked in ghee - Cup of coffee Lunch: - Chicken sausage cooked in ghee - Leftover steamed string beans with mayo - Leftover snap peas. - Curried Cream of Broccoli Soup Dinner: - Slow Cooker Korean Grass Fed Short Ribs (not as amazing as I anticipated) - Cauliflower mashed potatoes - Steamed broccoli with coconut aminos - Side salad with sesame ginger dressing Did I drink enough water? Nooooo. Did I get at least 7 hours of sleep (ideally 8)? Oh yes. Did I meditate for at least 10 minutes? Ye -wait, have I? I'll do it after I write this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyS Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 OK somewhere in an earlier post I got the impression that you were a boy-type-person; imagine my relief when I see in post #41 that the person I proposed marriage to back on page one is actually a female. Phew. I can stalk, err, follow, this thread again with a clear conscience. Seriously, I'm glad you had a nice drive, a good doctor visit, and some good food. And congrats on having a compliant snacking experience when previously you would have binged. That's kind of hugely wonderful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SashaySwonk Posted March 10, 2013 Author Share Posted March 10, 2013 Day 12 and the Day After Day 12 (I decided this entry would be illustrated.) Yesterday I had nearly made it through two birthday celebrations unscathed. The first was a work party and my social anxiety helped me to avoid partaking in any of the food. I was too preoccupied with thinking of ways to inconspicuously hide under my desk to be concerned with veggie pesto pizza or bacon cupcakes. The second birthday celebration involved going out to dinner with a couple of friends. I ordered a lemon grilled chicken salad like a champion and gave the bread basket the cold shoulder. The evening was going really well until the words, “shall we go get dessert now?†were spoken. I had tried to prepare a reasonable excuse to decline dessert beforehand, but my insecurity had me mulling over all the times these friends had seen me be both strict and very, very loose with my dieting habits. Eventually my mind managed to fabricate the delusion that not participating in dessert would be selfish and make me a buzzkill, so when I found myself at a kitchen table with a slice of cheesecake sitting in front of me, I ate it. I managed to throw away the extra slice I was sent home with, but I still went to sleep last night feeling very uneasy. Today was the true test. Could I eat something that was not Whole30 approved, shrug my shoulders, and go back to Day 1 without a second thought? Or would that little slice of cheesecake lead me to kick my self-control to the curb, stuff it down the storm drain, and go on a crazed sugar bender? I opted for the sugar bender, and it wasn't pretty. There were bags of jellybeans, cartons of mini peanut butter cups, bags of tortillas, and lots of crying - the attractive kind where you're curled up on the floor, gasping for air and shuddering with snot running down your chin. I know this isn't a big deal; nothing is really a big deal in the grand scheme of things, I get that. Pull back your perspective and this is just one day out of thousands of others that will comprise your life experience. Pull back further and this is just one day in the life of one person out of billions of others. Pull back even further and the weight of your insignificance starts to drive you insane, so zoom back in a little bit. It's just that when you're in the middle of feeling bad about yourself, it's hard to see past it. I'll get over it. I always do. Just please let tomorrow be a Day 1 and not the Day After the Day After Day 12. Please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Tom Denham Posted March 10, 2013 Moderators Share Posted March 10, 2013 I guess those weren't steel-toed boots. I have not been wearing steel-toed boots lately either. On Friday, my wife and I went out to a nice restaurant to celebrate her 26th birthday in AA. She ordered a piece of chocolate cream pie and told me it was very good. I ate a bite and it was very good. I wound up eating about 1/3 of her pie and it was a big piece. When I got home, I looked at my belly which has grown over the past 5 weeks and said, "You're eating too much. Dial it down." On Saturday night, my wife and I met friends for supper. I ate a big meal of grilled steak and veggies. My wife ordered a piece of red velvet cake. I never liked red velvet cake, but my wife loves it. When it came she said it was very good. I asked why she liked red velvet cake and she talked about layers of flavor in the cake and how special cream cheese frosting is. She said again that this piece of cake was really good. I had a bite and it was very good. I ate about 1/3 of her cake. I was a bit surprised that I could not fit another piece of steak or veggies in my mouth, but I could eat cake. I never had a sugar dragon and never binged on sugary foods, but I "had" to finish what my wife ordered. I could not leave any on the table as we left. Hmm. I am definitely not going out to eat tonight unless I go by the boot store first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dukunbayi Posted March 10, 2013 Share Posted March 10, 2013 Throwing you floatation device. Grab hold. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyS Posted March 10, 2013 Share Posted March 10, 2013 Steel toed boots all around! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moluv Posted March 10, 2013 Share Posted March 10, 2013 Well this is as good a place as any to admit to falling face first into my vaporizer this weekend... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
30Canandaigua Posted March 10, 2013 Share Posted March 10, 2013 Here's to Day 1 and looking ahead!! Because what is behind you is exactly that. Behind you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EileenRBe Posted March 10, 2013 Share Posted March 10, 2013 Love yourself, forgive yourself. The really sucky thing about the sugar dragon is that it won't just let you revel in the cheesecake, which was semi-nutritious, probably wonderful, and might have even been worth a conscious, reasoned restart to enjoy it. No, it must be fed and it demands any crappy sugary garbage near at hand. My experience with it: After about 45 days of no sugar, at a family dinner there were awesome chocolates passed around. I had one and it turned out to have peanut butter filling. Three weeks later I still have happy thoughts about how yummy it was, but the next day I had to practically strap myself to the mast of the ship so as not to succumb to the sugar siren song. The cravings were powerful. All that to say our culture SO doesn't support healthy eating, so we're fighting against a very strong current. But I believe it's worth the effort and I hope you'll feel it's worth as many tries as it takes for you. I suppose I could have mixed a few more metaphors. Love your cartoons. I'm rooting for you!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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