Krista Billows Rodriguez Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 My my my how easy it is to slide back into old habits. The past few weeks I've gone through my reintroductions and tried to "ride my bike". Well, my bike got a flat tire. My undoing? Alcohol. My brain does not compute moderation with regards to drinking, add to that a husband who really enjoys a couple nightly drinks-and annoyingly seems to suffer no ill effects-and you have a sad and frustrated Krista. And a foolish one too! I drank a beer Sunday night, I knew I shouldn't but darn it, it looked good! So I drank it, I even told my husband I would pay for it and oooooh nelly did I pay!?! Monday I felt like I had a load of rocks in my gut, I was so bloated and uncomfortable! Beyond my physical pain my depression has started flaring back up. I told myself, no more! Then Tuesday night rolls around and hubby suggests cracking a bottle of red wine....did I say no? No. I agreed. The wheels on my bike just fall right off in the face of alcohol. When I finished my W30 I vowed NOT to return to the multi times a week drinking, I know it impacts my depression. I know it makes my anxiety worse. I know it makes my temper worse. I know it sends me face first into a bar of dark chocolate. I know all those things and more yet I still struggle with saying no. so, today marks Day 0...again. I have an event coming up in a little over two weeks, so I'm calling this a W15. I don't know for sure if the food at the auction will be compliant, I know there will be a gluten free options, that's the benefit of being the head of the PTO, I get veto power on the menu! Knowing that the food might not be 100% compliant I will give myself permission not to stress about it that day. After that I plan to continue....until I can get a handle on the booze demon. The simple answer would be to eliminate it from my house, but we are a house divided, my husband-while enjoying my paleo cooking immensely-is not interested in adopting a W-anything-lifestyle. I cannot change him, but I also cannot continue to use him as an excuse for my drinking. I will say though, it makes it much harder to stay on track. But I'm the one who suffers most when I go off track. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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