HealthyHappy Whole30

[HealthyHappy]

Happy Day1! I am really excited to start today. I've dabbled with trying a Whole30 in the past and never made it past the first few days. However, this time I have DONE my research, tried a bunch of meals, taken my measurements and set my goals. I WILL COMPLETE THESE 30 DAYS!

I am a 36 (almost 37) year old stay-at-home mom of 3. I developed a nasty binge eating disorder over the past 2 1/2 years that led to a 20 lb weight gain. I consider myself lucky that for the 34 years before that, I never had any issues with food and was always easily thin (even after having kids). How I wish I could go back to those days when I did not obsess about food! Anyway, these past few years have been a hideous cycle of deprivation in order to try to lose the weight and binge eating pretty much every night. The weight has crept up up up and my self-hatred and frustration have grown with it.

When I have tried to do a Whole30 in the past, in the back of my mind I was still trying to minimize what I was eating and I believe that's why I always went back to binging. This time I am going to really try to eat as much as I need. That's my problem though...I feel like all this disordered eating has left me TOTALLY unable to figure out when I am full. So PLEASE, if anyone reads this and has some idea of whether I am eating too much or too little, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me know! I know that I will only need this guidance for a little while until my body (and mind) heals and can tell me what it needs.

So here are my measurements as of this morning (I'm not sure how accurate I was but I tried!):

Height: (5' 5")

Weight: 122.4 lbs

Waist (belly button): 29"

Butt (biggest part): 37"

Bust: 33"

Right thigh (at the top): 20.5"

Left thigh (at the top): 20.5"

And here are my goals:

1. To stop the cycle of deprivation and binging (and all of the self-hatred/obsessing that goes with it)

2. To be more even in my behavior/mood/attitude so that I can appreciate more all my blessings

3. To focus on finding pleasure in things other than food

4. To accept my body; to not try to lose the 20 lbs. I have gained in the past 2 years

5. To not eat after dinner (when I have typically binged)

6. To limit nuts and fruit to emergencies when I can't get anything compliant and I am worried I will falter

7. To have my lights out by 9:30PM every night (kids' permitting)

8. To lift weights for at least 20 minutes at least 2x/week

9. To jog or use the elliptical (at a fun pace) for at least 20 minutes at least 1x/week

I am the only one in my family doing the Whole30 (in fact, no one else knows I am doing it)...I just hope to lead by example for now.

Day 1 Meals:

Meal 1 (8AM): 1 full can Trader Joes Sockeye Salmon (7.5oz), 1/2 avocado, chopped tomatoes, cucumbers and green peppers. Honestly, it was a bit too much (I had trouble finishing before I had to get my kids to school...I'm a really slow eater), but half a can is never enough. I really want to do the salmon for breakfast because then I can make an omelet for lunch, so I think I'll keep trying this at least through the weekend...unless I get some feedback that makes me rethink things!

Meal 2 (planned): 4 egg omelet with a bunch of veggies (probably brussel sprouts, colored peppers and spinach) cooked in 1 tbsp ghee; chicken soup/bone broth (I cooked bone-in/skin-on drumsticks to make soup...not sure if that's technically bone broth or not but there were bones in there!).

Meal 3 (planned); Leftover curry chicken with red peppers, served over cauliflower

Thank you to anyone who made it though my diatribe!!! This will likely be my longest post as I rarely get on my computer and will have to do my posts from my Kindle. I wish everyone a wonderful journey to greater health and happiness!

[KelBelle]

I read your entire post:). I posted during my first week (I'm on Day11 right now) that for the past 10+ years, I have gone to bed feeling guilty from what I call a binge for dinner 90% of the time, so I completely relate about the binging thing.

Since I started this, I haven't even been tempted. Last night was the first time I even came close and here's why. I cooked pork for lunch and was having leftovers for dinner and then I remembered I hate pork! So, I made a bowl of a handful of blueberries, a small handful of almonds and a small handful of cashews. I knew when I was doing it that I was just trying to get some enjoyment/comfort out of my food and that perhaps all those nuts weren't the best choice. I'm proud to say I stopped after one serving and didn't feel guilty as I had to eat something!

I wish you good luck and look forward to reading about your progress.

[Kirsteen]

Hi, I truly believe that doing a W30 can repair our damaged relationship with food and get us to the place you want to be, where you stop obsessing over it. I think practically all women nowadays obsess in some way about food, it's almost expected of us. W30 can really teach us to nourish our bodies rather than try to punish them, in the hope that they'll lose whatever pounds we decide are excess. Eating this way can really help our bodies to become the healthiest they can be.

I know exactly what you mean about disordered eating leaving you unsure when you're still hungry, when you're full etc. It can take time to re-educate our bodies to a stage where we can 'hear' the signals they send us, in the meantime your best friend is the meal template

http://whole9life.co...ng-Template.pdf

It really spells out how much we should be eating at each meal as a minimum. Good luck and keep us posted how you're doing

Meal-Planning Template:

[Tom Denham]

I really like that you ate a can of salmon as your meal 1. Salmon includes enough fat that you don't need to add avocado with it. That would have made eating that meal easier. I don't know if you planned it this way, but you are/plan to eat much heavier at breakfast and lunch than supper. That is a good thing. Eating big meals earlier in the day is a good way to keep your hormonal rhythms and sleep in good order.

[Carlaccini]

Hi There!

I have been debating it on and off but, here I go on my 3rd whole 30. This mornings breakfast does not count (slept in, unprepared made a "worth it" non-compliant choice for breakfast) so I start right now!

This is honestly the best way to end our relationship with disjointed eating. Eat until you are full. You will find out where that marker is for you soon enough. Some days you could eat more than others so keep a boiled egg and some veggies handy when that time comes.

Recommendations for success - try to have planned meals ready for when you are. Or at least an idea on what you are going to eat. This leaves much less room for less than optimal food choices.

Best of luck to you!!

[HealthyHappy]

Thank you so much for your comments!

KelBelle: What an inspiration that you have conquered 10+ years of binging...way to go!

Kirsteen: Thank you for the meal template. Although I have read (and re-read ISWF), it's always good to have on hand! Now I just have to trust my judgement about what I need. I can't wait to feel "nourished" as you reference!

Tom: Right before I read your post, I was thinking to myself that maybe I should have had a whole avocado instead of a half since my stomach started growling around 10. It seems crazy that I can need to much food! Could that be right? Thank you for noticing that my meals get progessively smaller; I hadn't thought of that. Maybe it can help with my nightly binges.

Carlaccini: Great idea about the snacks! How wonderful to be starting your THIRD Whole30! Good luck!

[Derval]

Hope your name comes true good luck on your journey.

[HealthyHappy]

Thanks, Derval!

Meal 2 (12:45): I was STARVING by this point, but it took me awhile to make it (I'm as slow a cook as I am an eater!). Ended up being a 4-egg omlette with brussel sprouts, rainbow peppers, spinach and onion, cooked in 1tbsp ghee. Also a bowl of chicken bone broth. It was SOOOO yummy! I'm full but still really craving crackers, sweets, even almonds. Ugh. Going to soldier on until dinner.

[Tom Denham]

It may take a few days of eating substantial meals before you stop feeling hungry relatively soon after meals. Depending on what you have been eating in the past, you may not be very well nourished. Your body could just be excited to be getting so much good food. I remember getting hungry every few hours when I first started eating this way and I did eat 4, 5, and sometimes 6 meals in a day. Nowadays, I sometimes have to work to make sure I eat 3 times per day because it is easy for me to go 6 hours before feeling hungry again.

[missmary]

Hi Healthy Happy, It looks like you are getting your food dialed in and I hope everything is going well for you.

One thing jumped out at me from your initial post, though, that has me concerned: you say you are 5'-5" and currently 122lbs. you also say you feel badly because you've gained 20lbs. 122 is actually very low for someone of your height. Even if you maintained 100lbs when you were younger, does not make that a healthy weight for you now. As far as numbers go, you are on the low side of healthy, not overweight at all. I thought you should know that.

good luck.

[simonec]

i wanted to let you know, that your breakfast inspired me to check the can of salmon i have in the cabinet because i am really wanting some for either breakfast or lunch tomorrow...also i'm only about half an inch taller than you and my goal weight (long term...this could take me quite a while) is to finally get back down between 125 and 140 lbs, so while you may feel heavy after having been so thin for so long i see your height/weight and still think "wow! that's thin!"..so concentrate on the health benefits and don't worry about your weight.

[HealthyHappy]

Thanks, Tom. I've been feeling super hungry today and maybe that's why. I ended up adding a 1/2 avocado and then almonds (I know, already broke 1 of my rules but it was compliant and I was hungry!) to my dinner. Hopefully that will last me the night!

Missmary and Simonec: Thank you so much for helping me keep my weight in perspective. I'm working on my perception of what is healthy/beautiful/sexy...definitely a work in progress! Best of luck to you both!

[HealthyHappy]

Happy Day2! Went to sleep at 8:45 but I have a cold so I've been pretty run down. Still sleepy but off to start my day. Quick meal plan:

Meal1: Whole can of salmon with chopped veggies; maybe an avocado (or 1/2). Maybe I won't drain the salmon as much because it was so dry yesterday. (7:45) Ended up not draining the salmon at all and using 1/2 avocado...much yummier than yesterday. I think I will keep going with this for a bit.

Meal2: 4 egg omlette with veggies cooked in 1 tbsp ghee; bone broth (12:45) Had omlette as planned but no broth (not hungry for it)

Meal3: Out with my family. The restaurant we go to has some compliant options so I'll see which one I am in the mood for. (5:30) Starving! Had chicken soup with veggies, roasted chicken, baked sweet potato, and broccoli sauteed with olive oil and garlic. Stuffed now!

Have a great compliant day!

Best parts of the day: On the way home from dinner, one of my daughters suddenly smiles and says, "I love my life!". When getting my son (4) ready for bed, he sings me a song he made up about being a happy, glad mommy because he'll always be here for me.

[Blythe]

Thank you for sharing...I was happy to see I am not the only one that has that kind of unhealthy relationship with food!! I sincerely appreciate your honesty. I dont even know if Im realy hungry or just so used to using food to cope! I look forward to watching your progress! I am on day 5....had an applesauce and nut binge a couple of nights:(

I am thankful God gives us a new beggining each day!!!

Best of luck:)))

[HealthyHappy]

Thank you Blythe! Day 5 is fantastic! And better nuts and applesauce than falling totally off the wagon. I have in the back of my mind that it may well take me more than 30 days to heal how my mind thinks about food. But 1 day at a time for now. I love your outlook about each day being a new opportunity...good luck!

[HealthyHappy]

Happy Day3! Plan for today:

Meal 1 (7:45): Can of salmon, half and avocado, chopped tomatoes, peppers, cucumbers

Meal 2: 4-egg omlette with veggies, sauteed in 1 tbsp ghee, bone broth

Meal 3: Paleo chicken fingers; broccoli, cauliflower and onion sauteed with ghee and garlic

I need to buy more ghee! Maybe I'll use coconut oil on the veggies tonight. Feeling pretty good, although a little spacey. Just seeing the sun today is really making me so much happier!

Have a great day!