I accidentally woke up my Marijuana Dragon!


Moluv

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I'm considering breaking my W30 to use my vaporizer. I've been weighing the pros and cons for two days. I've been questioning where the desire comes from. I've come to the conclusion that I could take it or leave it but I feel a strong pull to "take creative flight". I am done eating for the day, so I'm not worried about eating too much or off plan. I have no desire to do either. Tomorrow would be Day 1 again- my fourth so far. Oddly, I'm not bothered by restarting again- I think that's because I view the eating style as permanent and love it and believe in it for political/social/environmental reasons as well. And I've got 30something days straight of compliance. And 2 19 day stretches with no marijuana. That's pretty good considering I used to smoke daily when I had all of the stomach pain. And maybe that's what woke this dragon up- the killer cramps I had today- maybe a little TOO reminiscent of gluten suffering days.

The thing that gives me pause in actually going through with this-is what hitting "post new topic" will mean to me on this forum- which is what has made this program so much fun to follow. I don't want to alienate anyone by sharing my views on a controversial subject, but at the same time, how can my posts have any integrity of I don't also share my own struggles?

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One of my best girlfriends came over to chat and she was asking me about w30 and as I was telling her about the program my Marijuana Dragon just POOF! Disappeared. I realized that I wanted it today because of my cramps and that I view once a month vaping to be perfectly reasonable. So the best day for once monthly vaping would be the first day of my moon cycle- the day of uterine agony. Unfortunately, this moon cycle landed during my w30- but that won't be the case next month- I'll be done with w30 by then and when the time comes I'll choose then if I want to have it. Until then, everything goes back in it's box up on the shelf.

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A blogging friend in Washington state reports the following headline: "Burrito Truck Stolen - Again." :lol: :lol: :lol: (Yes, I DID check your location to see if you were in the neighborhood! :P )

Glad you figured out what you plan to do. Just stay away from burrito trucks. That is all I will say on the subject. :D

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Oh no don't worry about me guys, I've got this under control, keep cracking yer pot jokes ;)

You got this Moluv. I knew you had it when you shared and I thank you for sharing. Regardless of your decision, I knew you had it.

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Moluv, I may be looking at this from too heavy a perspective, but recovering addicts tend to do that. My thought it that you didn't really want to go back to Puff in that moment - if you did, you wouldn't have posted here. "Telling on yourself" is a really helpful strategy to help you avoid behavior that you intuitively know isn't the right thing for you at this time - and that's exactly what I saw you doing when I read your first post. You may make a different choice on another day, but knowing that you can A. feel urges, B. get some support (or at least vocalize the urge, which is hard in and of itself), and C. defeat the urge is a really powerful experience. I'd venture that the next time, not giving in will be that much easier.

Finally, don't ever, ever plan an experience like this if you suspect you are not in full control of your behaviors, or if you suspect these behaviors may not be the healthiest thing in your context. Saying "one day a month, on this day, I will give in" only sets you up to act even if you decide you don't want to - because you've already told yourself you could. (This applies to everything from smoking pot to "cheat days" with food.) Take it day by day, decision by decision. That's the healthiest way to be in tune with your body, your needs, and your cravings, and to make the best decisions for YOU in that moment.

Hope that helps.

Melissa

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OMG you guys Melissa Hartwig talked to me!!! My health guru! I have read her post now like a dozen times. The reason I "told on myself" was not because I was worried that using my vaporizer would be a harmful choice for me, because I knew it wouldn't. I've come so far into the w30 process that I'm not sure I'll ever use anything in an out of control way again. Maybe, but something has changed deep inside me. There is no self loathing- only love. So I felt secure in using my vaporizer to relieve myself of menstrual cramps as pain relief is one of the best documented medicinal uses of the plant. And vaping is a better choice than smoking- something I will never do again. The real reason I told on myself, and the real reason I chose to not do it- even though I was all set to do it- is that I knew it would make me a hypocrite on the forum. This forum has been the single biggest contributing factor in my w30 success next to the constructs of the program itself. I love coming here and learning, encouraging and being encouraged. I would lose any credibility as a w30 cheerleader if I had to cop to breaking my w30 in order to use a non-compliant pain relief for PERIOD CRAMPS. Sheesh. So ya know what, March 28 is my day 31. I'm planning to cel-e-brate. I marked it on my calendar, took half the day off of work and already booked myself a facial. My postw30 bike may take a leisurely cruise with Puff, or not, it's hard to say. But I feel a deep sense of satisfaction knowing that Puff is there on the shelf ready to play when *I* choose to, not him.

Thank you Melissa for your thoughtful response and everyone else with your cheech and chong hilarities for not casting me out of the beloved forum! This has really been a helpful learning experience that makes my heart swell with gratitude. And thank you self for having the courage to be vulnerable, it worked out.

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Wow, I had no idea that marijuana is non-compliant. I wonder why if you are using it for medicinal purposes. Makes me wonder about the fact that I have been taking anti-anxiety meds throughout my Whole 30....it doesn't seem all that different from using marijuana to ease your pain.

I've never been much of a pot smoker. It makes me really anxious....but I remember reading a great article in Mothering magazine back in the day, written by a midwife who'd smoked through three pregnancies because of her awful nausea. She had three healthy amazing kids.

Thanks for sharing this. I think it's really important for people who might be searching to see if anyone else shares their struggles.

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  • 1 year later...

Hi Melissa

I didn't know for sure if pot was non compliant but I figured it was... I did have some on day one... I am wondering, I have an addictive personality and have had issues with alcohol and marijuana over the last 20 years... Does whole30 help with addiction to these substances as well? I really hope so, because I feel my addictions have contributed to health problems and weight gain in a big way... It would be exciting to know that this is also going to help me to kick alcohol and especially marijuana...

Meg :)

Moluv, I may be looking at this from too heavy a perspective, but recovering addicts tend to do that. My thought it that you didn't really want to go back to Puff in that moment - if you did, you wouldn't have posted here. "Telling on yourself" is a really helpful strategy to help you avoid behavior that you intuitively know isn't the right thing for you at this time - and that's exactly what I saw you doing when I read your first post. You may make a different choice on another day, but knowing that you can A. feel urges, B. get some support (or at least vocalize the urge, which is hard in and of itself), and C. defeat the urge is a really powerful experience. I'd venture that the next time, not giving in will be that much easier.Finally, don't ever, ever plan an experience like this if you suspect you are not in full control of your behaviors, or if you suspect these behaviors may not be the healthiest thing in your context. Saying "one day a month, on this day, I will give in" only sets you up to act even if you decide you don't want to - because you've already told yourself you could. (This applies to everything from smoking pot to "cheat days" with food.) Take it day by day, decision by decision. That's the healthiest way to be in tune with your body, your needs, and your cravings, and to make the best decisions for YOU in that moment.Hope that helps.Melissa

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