Woke the Sugar Dragon and it's not leaving!

[OhioLovin]

Hi all! I didn't think I would have to talk about this to anyone but by this point my family and friends probably are sick of hearing me talk about food so here goes nothing. I did the whole30 in January and did it once before in June; June's whole30 was a bit tricky and difficult, but January's was easier and I felt beyond amazing, probably due to the fact that I had been eating mostly paleo in the months before. I did the whole30 primarily to clean up my diet which inevitably had been getting junked up with non compliant food before the holidays. When reintroduction started, I fully intended to introduce the foods, see how they affected me, then take them back out because I just felt so GOOD while whole30-ing. However, while I did the reintroduction the way I was supposed to, I definitely did not keep all that crap out of my diet. Cheese and dairy -- which I had cut out for nearly 6 months before, as I thought it was the cause of my bloating -- didn't seem to affect me. What did I do...? I started eating it again in small amounts... Which then became every meal. Same with sugar; I have a HUGE sugar dragon and it always, always gets the best of me. I thought i was done with it and could have small treats, but then would end up eating random sweets way past the point of fullness, swearing I was giving it up, then do it again.

Basically, my issue is this: how do I go from strict whole30 to riding my own bike without completely derailing and riding this bike into a pond? I feel like I am almost helpless right now and I do NOT want to be helpless. Everything I eat is a choice and I wholeheartedly believe that good food can fix so many of our problems-- so why I am off roading and eating things that I KNOW don't make me healthier and will make me feel like crap? I know it is psychological and I am just frustrated that I don't have a "normal" relationship with food. For me, eating a piece of chocolate or a treat in the middle of the day can be cause for me to completely just raid my pantry at night; it doesn't help that I live with roommates that do not understand and always tell me I am crazy for giving up things like sugar and grains and desserts! I am in college and would like to be able to have ice cream with friends once in a while without going home and raiding my house for sweets because that ice cream woke up the sugar dragon! I am just at a loss and frustrated; do I whole30 again and then ... What? How can I fix this issue? I feel like I am so "all or nothing" that this moderation for me is not possible. I don't want it to be this way, though! I would just like to be the healthiest version of me while not going crazy aft having a bite of chocolate or bread! Anyone else with me? Any advice is greatly appreciated!

[Xandra]

Yep. That's what happens to me, too. The truth is I'm not ready to introduce sweets into my life yet. I might be able to, way off in the future sometime, but I've proven more than once now that I can't do it yet without it turning into a multi-day binge. The question is whether I want to accept that cycle: one small treat --> days of sugar / junk --> weeks of withdrawal.

I'm getting to the point where that cycle is not really worth it to me. That means I have to stop thinking of sweets as something that I'm missing but something that I'm grateful not to be eating. I need to flip them in my mind from having a positive association (the dopamine talking) to having a strongly negative one (I start to feel sick, among many other symptoms). This is hard to do in real life, but it's basically thinking of sweets as being in the same category as Cheez Whiz (or name your favorite imitation food product that you would never eat), something that generates the mental question: Why would you ever put that into your body?

I think to win this, I have to not only deny the treat, but actually be GLAD that I'm not eating it. Easier said than done, I know, but it's all part of the same process of changing our relationship with food everywhere else.

[CaseyD]

Some people can eat certain things in moderation, some people just can't. When it comes to sugar, there are an amazing amount of people in the same boat as you. I certainly am! But, I also know several people who have the same out of control behavior with dairy, so there's probably something to that as well.

I don't know how to switch that off. Sometimes you just have to accept the deck you're dealt and make the best of it, I guess. For me, my deck is full of foods I can't tolerate, plus a raging sugar problem. So, my choices are suffer from these foods just so I can taste them, or not suffer and just learn to live without - maybe permanently with some things. It took a long time, but I think I've finally come to a place where I'm just tired of the suffering, guilt, and unhappiness when it comes to certain foods that I'd rather just live without and endure the occasional annoying social moments where I might not fit in without a particular food in my hand. In the end, I'm really the one who cares the most at those times anyway.

Sorry that isn't helpful, but I think those of us who have major battles with things like sugar really don't have an answer for how to moderate it.

[AmyS]

I have pretty strong (and immediate) reactions to sugar, and one reaction is to want more. It can be bad enough that I lose focus on the things I need to do that day because I'm arguing with myself about sugar.

For those of us who have spent years (decades, in my case) eating sugar, it's probably not reasonable to think that we can just eat a little bit of sugar (instead of everything in the house, or in the store) after a Whole30 or two.

I've been thinking about this because I know that many celebrations include foods that have a lot of sugar in them. And it seems like the celebrations come pretty often, if you are paying attention. Christmas, New Year's, Valentine's Day, Easter, Memorial Day, Fourth of July, Labor Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving - and those are just the big ones that get a nod of some sort in my house. There are also birthdays, anniversaries, vacations, parties of all kinds, and probably the biggest one of all - "I had a hard day so I deserve a treat." I think we're all pretty conditioned to believe that happiness and sugar are tied together. So if we take it out for a short time (compared to however long we've been alive, that is!) and then try to reintroduce it on a small scale, I am not sure we have much of a sense of what constitutes moderation.

It's just lovely, ain't it?

[xacerb8]

Everything I eat is a choice and I wholeheartedly believe that good food can fix so many of our problems-- so why I am off roading and eating things that I KNOW don't make me healthier and will make me feel like crap?

Well, if we knew the answer to that question it would put too many therapists out of work. LOL!

I know that when I started looking at this exact issue it very quickly brought me into deep psychological examination territory. Such as, what were my core beliefs about myself? (I am unlovable. I am bad. There's something wrong with me.)

I had to work very, very hard to get the inner voice that was whispering that s&*t to shut up. One of the things that I learned along the way is that the way I do food is the way I do lots of other things. Lots and lots of control for proscribed periods of time and then a complete derailment. I've done this with sticking to a budget. I do it with procrastination when I'm working (yes, I have spent an entire 8 hour workday on Facebook and the sick feeling I got from that is equivalent to any post-binge-eating shame.)

I do believe that sugar and sweets are addictive. It's really hard to "feel" like you've had enough. You really have to be able to stick to rules around them or you're just naturally going to overdo it. But I think that others who've posted here are wise about learning your particular limitations around sugar but also, learning to see them as a way to protect yourself. Because you are worth it!

[OhioLovin]

Thank you all so much! I guess I am in the same boat as many-- eating sugar makes me crave more, more, more, and it doesn't help when everyone around me, including my parents when I am home and my roommates when I am at school, are constantly having it and offering it to me. Then they get offended when I try to not have it! I need to just stop giving in to sugar peer pressure. I would really like to be at a point where a piece of cake or chocolate or something sweet once in a while doesn't completely just derail me. I just feel like a failure when I do have sugar, so that I think the devil on my shoulder just says " you might as well have the whole thing. And then some more." It makes me feel better that I am not alone, thought, because I swear nobody talks about this stuff in real life. That yes, sugar is addictive, and yes, I am trying to break my addiction!

[Sugar addict]

Sugar sugar SUGAR!! It's just SO HARD!! Which is why I had to start my 2nd Whole 30 this week. It's totally a coping mechanism. When I can be indulged in that cookie, the world is just a little better for those few moments. I do just fine until late afternoon and evening, then, BAM--it hits hard!! My goal on this next Whole 30, or 60, or 200 (ha!) is to work on a new mindset, to really change how I view food. And to get to the bottom of why I feel sugar is so necessary. Why can't fruit be a sufficient substitute? Gotta figure some things out!!

[melbournegirl]

I feel for you! I am so frustrated when I binge eat. I am an intelligent person. I know that what I am eating today will still be available tomorrow. Yet that doesn't stop me from eating ridiculous amounts. The longer I go without sugar (80 days now) the more hopeful I am becoming that I have broken the addiction. My clear head tells me there are many reasons why I might binge and it might be impossible to fix all or any of them. But the longer I am staying sugar free the less I am now caring that other people can eat it in moderation... I know it makes me sick and I know there are lots of other yummy foods I can enjoy instead. So I am planning a life without sugar except for really rare occasions

[Kate File]

Thanks all, I enjoyed reading all that as I have the same problem as the original poster. I recently finished my second Whole 30 and have suddenly found myself in a chocolate frenzy. On my Whole30 it was safe to have my son's chocolate treats in the house as I was on a strict Whole 30. One mini Crunchy bar led to a massive binge. I am now clearing everything out over the weekend (yes, even my son's) and am starting an 8 week Sugar Free cleanse on Monday. I am happy to restrict grains and dairy, it is sugar that is my DEMON!!!

[pdecks]

Yes, I also completely derailed almost as soon as my first Whole30 was over. I hit 30 days a week ago, the day before my birthday. We didn't go out to celebrate my getting older, which I didn't really mind. But I caved when I received a birthday package containing all sorts of wonderful gifts, including a box of chocolates. That was Wednesday night. I have been gorging on chocolate since then, including several "servings" this morning (not that I acknowledge that chocolate is consumed in servings).

All I can do is remember how good I felt on the Whole 30, appreciate the progress I made in taming my sugar dragon then, and give it another go. We are only human and make mistakes, and I am practicing accepting that I am fallible, like all others. Indeed, my bigger task at hand is celebrating and rewarding myself without food. I wish I had enough money lying around to celebrate with a neck massage or something equally relaxing.

Hang in there, and take solace knowing that you are not alone in your struggles!

[kittycat]

Thanks all for sharing - pdecks, same happened to me too soon after my first W30.

In a couple of hours, my W30#2 starts, and OhioLovin, Juzbo, and all you other wonderful people, we'll get there, day by day, bit by bit, to slay the sugar dragon. I trust in you!

[GLC1968]

Wow, I don't know how I missed this post but I have the exact same problem as Ohiolovin. In fact, with the same timing. I did my first Whole30 last June, a second one in January (after an entirely too off-road/indulgent holiday season) and then I found myself off the deep end almost immediately. And yes, it was sugar that pushed me there.

Now I'm 9 days into a Whole60 and oddly enough, despite a ton of off roading in February, I'm finding the transition back to a healthy way of eating to be a lot easier this time around. But I still haven't really come up with a plan about how do deal with this all. Right now, my head is clear and my cravings are nill. It's easy for me to imagine either never indulging again or somehow doing it with control. But I also know that after two previous Whole30's, that has not been the case. There is no guarantee that this one will be any different just because it is longer.

Personally, what Xandra said up above about redefining what sweets mean to me is really resonating right now. I recall a friend (and roommate for 2 years) in college who was a strict vegetarian and health food nut back when being vegetarian was kind of radical. She didn't indulge in crap food...ever. She ate salsa on carrots instead of chips. She was 'that person' when she ordered at restaurants because there were so many things she wouldn't eat and she made no apologies for who she was. She also had admirers constantly flocking to her side because even though she was different, she radiated confidence. Thinking back to her ability to do this at 18/19 years old just blows my mind. I think I need to channel her, even now...25 years later. I need to do what's right for me and to do that, I think it will mean redefining the way I view a lot of things...most prominently, sugar/sweets.

But thanks for starting this thread - it really got me thinking!

[Contessa]

[...]That means I have to stop thinking of sweets as something that I'm missing but something that I'm grateful not to be eating. I need to flip them in my mind from having a positive association (the dopamine talking) to having a strongly negative one (I start to feel sick, among many other symptoms). This is hard to do in real life, but it's basically thinking of sweets as being in the same category as Cheez Whiz (or name your favorite imitation food product that you would never eat), something that generates the mental question: Why would you ever put that into your body?

I think to win this, I have to not only deny the treat, but actually be GLAD that I'm not eating it. Easier said than done, I know, but it's all part of the same process of changing our relationship with food everywhere else.

OhioLovin, I just want to thank you for bringing this question to the surface. It took courage to be transparent in this way. I'm also in the same boat as you. I've been around the sugar-guilt-obsession loop so many times in the past [x] years that it's started to seem almost normal. (I'm generally a healthy, productive adult, but huge parts of my waking life have been spent feeling crappy and guilty about mindless, self-destructive sugar consumption.)

Just reading your words helps me relax a little and feel less psychotic. Nice to know it's not just me.

Every time I hear about one of those studies explaining that sugar has the same effect on our brain as cocaine, I have to grimace in recognition.

Meanwhile, I just love Xandra's reframe... thank you. I am going to carry that thought forward. It's another little weapon in my arsenal against sugar. (Also, I'm bookmarking this page for future reference.)

[OhioLovin]

Thanks, everyone! I actually just started a whole21 (3 weeks till my best friend's birthday) just to remind myself what I can do and how well I will feel once I'm back in the swing of things. 3 days in and doing great! I honestly think its the rules for me: when I have them, it's easy to say "nope, can't have it" rather than "weeeeelllll, a little piece of chocolate won't hurt." Which technically, that little piece wouldn't "hurt" ... Except it would get me thinking about what other sweets I can possibly eat to fulfill that craving! I feel like this is an issue many people have, but some don't care, some don't know how to fix it, or even that they CAN fix it. I think the best thing for me to do at this point is to be myself, like GLC1968's friend - who cares if I am eating something different, if I know that it's the best choice for me? Half the time, when I give in, it's because I feel some sort of pressure to "be like everyone else" but I don't think I should do that anymore. Besides, people are used to my "weird, too healthy" eating habits by now I guess the real test will be my friend's birthday! It is her 21st (yes, I am a young'n) and we are getting her whatever cake she wants; let's just hope that I can test all my theories then and try to not derail myself completely with a slice of birthday cake.

I am so glad, however, that I am not alone in this! Every time I would try to talk to a friend about it, they looked at me like I was crazy, because to them, I don't eat any "crap" or processed food. Isn't it ironic that I would eat so well, but then be completely helpless when it comes to sugar? We can all do this and I know it is always a learning experience, so I am confident that at some point, it will all click for me and maybe after a few more whole30s, my cravings will diminish.

Good luck everybody!!

[nana]

yeeeesssss sugar is my enemy..i am about 1/2 way through my first whole 30 and am already worried how i will handle day 31 and beyond... one craving at a time

[Samphire]

For the sugar pushers in your life, if want them to back off then this phrase might work.

"Why are you so interested in what I do and do not eat? Frankly I find your obsession with my diet to be, well, a little bit creepy."

Then shut up' let it hang in the silence and don't qualify or explain!

They will most probably back off. On the flip side it might work too well and you lose friends so it's a two edged sword. Use with caution!

Disclaimer: I have only used a milder version of this, "Why are you so interested in what I eat? Is what I eat really that interesting?", but I'm putting the level 10 version out there just in case!