Fell off the curb

[ScoutFinch]

I just had about a half a Larabar with chocolate chips. I'm on Day 24 today--moderators, should I start over? It tasted like absolute crap, pardon my language. Why did I do it? Very emotional couple of days, and I think I was just tired of being the buttercup sucking it up. Even had a protein snack right before to try to derail it, and the truth is, I just wasn't paying very good attention. Totally not worth it, two bites in and I thought, "Wow, this is garbage." Sorry, Larabar people, but seriously.

[Xandra]

I'm not a moderator but just wanted to offer my sympathies. Most of us have struggled with this one time or another. It is very difficult to break that emotional connection between stress and eating junk. The first step is to acknowledge the stress and the second is to come up with a game plan to practice living with the stress and avoiding the junk. My solution was to allow unlimited quantities of squash for a few days. I think one day I sat down and ate an entire butternut squash as a comfort food. This is not a recommended strategy, this is just what worked for me to avoid reaching for cookies. After I got through those first few days, the cravings fell off quickly, and now I'm dealing with the same stress but my meals are all balanced again. Good luck, you will find your way if you want to.

[ScoutFinch]

No, there's no question of that, I believe I've found the way that works (after decades) and the actual experience of eating that was not in any way positive. (I eat squash pretty much every day, but that's a good idea.) I know one thing is I'm grading this week at high pitch and I didn't get enough food in the house, so the beef dishes I had ready are beginning to pall. So, being prepared in the future will be key for sure. But the real issue is using food to sooth stress and anxiety, and that's what I need to pay attention to. Thank you, Xandra!

[Moluv]

Didn't you mention thinking you felt like you were headed towards the IBS protocol in another post? If your gut is disrupted stress is going to be incredibly difficult to handle and trying to use sheer willpower to resist cravings doesn't always work. The integrity of the gut lining is vital to yor happiness and mental stability. You probably felt so stressed because you had already been irritated by something you ate. And now you have nuts, dried fruit AND chocolate in your system which could cause further irritation and lead to an all out binge. Don't worry at all about the technicalities of a restart right now- but you absolutely should try to restore balance to your gut ASAP by following the meal template and focusing on the foods that you know are gentle on your tummy. Xandras idea for butternut squash sounds good. What is your favorite meat, the one that makes you feel the best? Start working on dinner and make it a good one and go to bed early. I'm rooting for you!

[ScoutFinch]

Good advice, moluv--I wasn't taking the upset into consideration there. I have a good dinner planned already, and squash at hand. My problem isn't IBS, but reflux and fibromyalgia, and I simply don't know to what degree autoimmunity is present (strictly speaking, fibro is not an autoimmune condition). Nuts and a couple of other things have been (I think) causing bloating, more face breakouts, and more reflux than when I started. I stopped nuts two days ago, and after Easter I am going to actually try the AIP, minus nightshades, which I don't think are a problem, but will see. Have had a much longer and less smooth reduction of symptoms than I had thought, which I imagine means both that I was a lot more upset and distressed internally that I would have thought, and that I simply need more time.

But of course, decades of using bad food to sooth intense anxiety doesn't get cured overnight. Tonight I can't go early to bed, but tomorrow I shall for sure! And I opened up the other Larabar I found back in the cupboard and ditched it, so nothing on hand to tempt this evening!

Wow. Hello, my name is Scout, and I'm powerless. (Well, not really, and I don't mean that flippantly at all. But the comparisons are really striking if you think about it.)

[JJB]

Just wanted to agree about the Larabars with chocolate chips...blech!! I tried the cookie dough one, and the peanut butter w/choc chips. No thank you. Coconut cream pie on the other hand...shut up. I can't buy you anymore. TOO GOOD.

[ScoutFinch]

Thanks again, all. Back in the saddle now!

[Kirsteen]

But of course, decades of using bad food to sooth intense anxiety doesn't get cured overnight. Tonight I can't go early to bed, but tomorrow I shall for sure! And I opened up the other Larabar I found back in the cupboard and ditched it, so nothing on hand to tempt this evening!

Hi Fives and congratulations for getting right back in the saddle. Seriously, well done! I used to work with recovering addicts and whether it had been drugs or alcohol, they all said the same thing, the physical detox was nothing compared to dealing with their feelings without their drug of choice to soothe and soften them. So many of us have used food in exactly the same way and it's just as hard to get over it. Kudos for throwing the other Larabar out. Just carry on, I know you'll do great.

[ScoutFinch]

Thank you Kirsteen! You are always such a great model of positive outlook and support. So glad you are here!