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Thanks you guys! I felt like Fiona turning into an ogre at sunset last night and the witch that cast the spell used cauliflower and whiskey as her nasty potion. Luckily the spell wore off by morning and I had a fabulous day as an Ogre Princess.

Day 0:

Meal 1: butternut beef with the kiddos

Meal 2: brown baggin it with style to Easter lunch at the in-laws: pomegranate glazed meatballs, baked sweet potato, asparagus wrapped in sliced pork belly, date rolls (a little chtreat)

Meal 3. (Mini-meal) meatballs, coconut oil mayo with whole eggs (this is why I'm still on day 0, my big chtreat of the day :)), cold sweet potato

Meal 4: hamburger party and cold sweet potato

Drinks: 2 bottled kombuchas ([email protected]$1.50), 1 glass of home brew Kombucha with a splash of pomegranate juice and mineral water, peppermint ginger herbal tea

2 BM today, most excellent!

Had a revelatory forward bending yoga practice. There is a photo on my Instagram <

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Day 0:

Meal 1: butternut beef

Meal 2: same

Meal 3: (mini) 1/2 hamburger patty and 1/2 avocado

Meal 4: salmon, olives, spinach and mushrooms baked together with fish sauce (non compliant) and coconut aminos. Steam sautéed green beans with a little coconut mayo. Roasted sweet potato discs, 1/4 avocado

Drinks: only water, sparkling water, red clover tea. $6.00 into my tanktopfund total now $7.50

BM: none today

EDITED TO ADD: After I typed this I made the kids "banana swirl" (frozen banana + coconut milk in the blender) and had some myself. Then I had a date roll. Then I tore into my Nova Monda Moon Time Jar Chocolate and ate that until the back of my throat got too slimy. It was freaking amazing TASTING. It has the Free & Easy Wanderer Chinese Herbs mixed into it, so I'm kind of expecting to spend the rest of the evening in lala land.

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Random:

- glad you are better

- in-laws are on Whole30 train too? Easter meal looks pretty cool and compliant.

- link to instagram is not working in previous post?

- what's a tanktopfund, did I miss something on yout log?

- wicked name for chocolate

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Nadia- You mean you can't remember every single thing I whine about in my food log? Here ya go re: tanktopfund

Day 4:

drinks: 2 1/2 kombuchas. I think I have a problem. I am contemplating giving up kombuchas for a week or so and saving the money to buy a top from Patagonia. I want to see if I feel differently without them. I know I would at least feel thirstier and drink more water which in turn WILL make me feel better. This is the top I want- going without 12 bottles of Kombucha will pay for itself. http://www.patagonia...k?p=54500-0-263

The in-laws are definitely not W30- they ate ham, green bean casserole and some other hashbrown casserole with corn flakes on top. And cheese buscuits. My father in law is a marathon runner and I have never understood how he fuels that kind of activity off of so much processed food and grains. They are cool with me bringing my own food though. I really only think that is because I am the favorite and sweetest daughter in law. Not saying much though because the other too are &%$#@es.

The instagram link is on my first post in this thread and it worked for me but I also added it to my signature. (which i'm not seeing now) ok, try this: http://instagram.com/moluvandheart

That chocolate is AH-May-ZING! Some friends of my best friend's are these really forward thinking business people who bought a cacao plantation in Ecuador, run it beyond Fair Trade standards, have equitable business practices across the board and hand make chocolate in small batches in Boulder Co. This particular chocolate was a gift and had been sitting in the medicine cabinet (lol) for a couple of weeks before I finally caved in last night. I ate almost the whole little jar. It was euphoric. I had no ill effects beyond feeling just a little hungover this morn. I had about 25 grams of sugar. I don't really know what that means though. I don't feel like I'm going to have days of weirdness because of this but I did make myself some weak coffee this morning because now I'm just having fun in "innocent rebellion mode"

And thank you, I am feeling better faster all the time. I hope you are well!

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Sexy top, love it! Compliments to YOUR Easter meal then. Instagram worked, sweet. I have 100% raw chocolate with no sugar (Ecuador too) from a hand-made chocolate shop as my guilty pleasure.

I've noticed that the longer I eat clean the faster is the recovery from gut irritating food too. Great trend.

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Oooh! Love that top. I am going to make a latte fund. I've been talking about it and sort of keeping track in my head but actually putting money into a jar I think will be more effective.

Do your friends sell this chocolate online? I won't be eating it for awhile but it's good information to have when the time arises.

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Oooh! Love that top. I am going to make a latte fund. I've been talking about it and sort of keeping track in my head but actually putting money into a jar I think will be more effective.

Do your friends sell this chocolate online? I won't be eating it for awhile but it's good information to have when the time arises.

Thanks- I'm getting the top in grey, my favorite color. And it has totally given me the strength to not go into the Kombucha shops a couple of times.

And yeah, just google "Nova Monda"- its so not compliant so I'm not going to post a link. I'm loving the "moontime" but all the jars are good. They also sell nibs which are compliant and I'm going to order some to have during my AIP, which I am planning to restart in a few days.

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What?!! Grey is my favorite color :wub: I thought I was the only one.

Then you're gonna love this ALL GREY outfit I splurged on tonight!!!

https://www.patagonia.com/us/store/receipt.jsp?REFERENCE_ID=ZO20130402-12141644-16994&style=79030&style=57790&style=54500

I couldn't wait to raise money by not drinking kombucha. That's just stupid. All these little self imposed rules I put on myself are keeping me from completing an actual WHOLE W30 and it's starting to piss me off. One time I made a little rule to go along with the "no weighing" rule, that was "no selfies" and I broke my own rule and started counting the days over. I actually have racked up 60 straight days of ZERO intentional non-compliance, which ended the other night when I drank. That's a significant amount of time to stick with an eating style but it seems all of MY annoying little rules and re-starts kept me from being able to acknowledge that. And that's just a microcosm for a way that I sabotage my own joy in daily life. Always chasing that carrot just beyond my reach. SO NO MORE OF THAT, AMIRIGHT Y'ALL!? So ordering the whole outfit, in the size that actually fits me right this minute, comfortably, not the size I can squeeze into now and hope I can get skinny enough for in a month, is a symbol for just seizing my joy right this very minute and not thinking that it's the next thing that's gonna finally make me happy, I can just be happy now.

Whew. I'm not kidding, eating chocolate made me euphoric. It's been fun for 24 hours, but euphoria isn't practical, so it's time to stop eating chocolate now. Which is convenient because all of my moontime chocolate is gone, as is my moon. And it's time to get practical for the month.

So I got my outfit on the way, I'm ready to go full AIP tomorrow again. I know what to eat now. totally. Research time is done. That means no more reading food logs or blogs. I'm just not going to pay much attention to what other people eat. My husband and kids are going strong on a base diet of AIP safe dishes with additions and condiments which are in the regular W30, so the household is set to go.

Since I don't have to spend much time thinking about food now, and preparing it and cleaning up after it is pretty much down to a system, what I am expecting to be able to get out of this month is some quality art making time. My office/studio is well stocked with supplies and materials. I have been conceptualizing an installation for the last two years, as well as experimenting with various techniques and now I believe this time for execution and presentation has arrived. I need to be my clearest thinking, most patient, tedious, and focused as possible. And for me that means no reactions. Such a huge distraction and my brain and hands just can't work right under inflammatory conditions. What is the opposite of inflammation? Flammation? Do I want to be flammated?

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Day 0:

Meal 1: 1/2 hamburger patty, cup and a half of weak french press with coconut milk

Meal 2: ghoulash with ground beef, green beans, spinach

Meal 3: a small organic chocolate bar pre-yoga

Meal 4: same thing as meal 2 but with butternut squash and ghee, the last of my moontime chocolate

Drinks: 1 1/2 bottles kombucha, the coffee mentioned above and not very much water. I've felt dehydrated all day.

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Don't be so hard on yourself! By the way..have you ever gone to the doctor and have them run labs to see if anything is wrong? I went to a functional doctor yesterday-he just shook his head when he saw my labs and said I can't believe no one has followed up on this! Something is very wrong...so getting more tests ran. FINALLY someone acknowledges something is wrong..never stop fighting!

By the way...while I do think it's good to save money to buy things (big Dave Ramsey girl here)..I don't think drinking kombucha is bad:) I am going to try to make it at home soon..ever tried that?

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Don't be so hard on yourself! By the way..have you ever gone to the doctor and have them run labs to see if anything is wrong? I went to a functional doctor yesterday-he just shook his head when he saw my labs and said I can't believe no one has followed up on this! Something is very wrong...so getting more tests ran. FINALLY someone acknowledges something is wrong..never stop fighting!

By the way...while I do think it's good to save money to buy things (big Dave Ramsey girl here)..I don't think drinking kombucha is bad:) I am going to try to make it at home soon..ever tried that?

I was wondering how your Dr appointment went- keep me posted when you find something more out. I guess my experience with Drs has not been good- mine would not acknowledge my desire for Celiac testing or the possible connection between gluten sensitivity and adhd. The last time I was there for 3 hours, argued with several different people, refused medication and left saying that I was just going to take gluten out of my diet and that I would let them know if I needed my rx again. That was 7 months ago, no pills since. Even though I am starting the AIP, I don't think I have as serious of problems as others who do it- I am doing this as a preventive measure to stop and reverse damage from inflammation that I can notice already that I feel like could turn into something worse. My reactions are becoming acute and short lived. And I'm not reacting to so many things, especially if I just avoid eggs and nuts it seems the coffee I tried yesterday didn't cause too much trouble either. I don't think drinking Kombucha is bad, I was just relying on it instead of drinking water and was chronically dehydrated as a result. The tanktopfund was just a sneaky way to trick myself into a better habit, but I don't really have the energy for that right now. I will try to drink water most importantly, but not get worked up if I'm not doing everything "just so".

I do brew my own kombucha but my last batch turned to vinegar- I kept tasting it and tasting it and thought it was still too sweet. Even after it turned vinegary it still tasted way too sweet to me, and not fizzy. I like to make it in the summer best when the house is warmer and it ferments much more quickly and then it gets really fizzy and tart. In the winter I have to use a waterbed heater which I lent out and now I just don't even feel like bothering with it. I'd rather buy a $3 bottle. But overall, it's really simple to do.

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OMG-do NOT get me started on mainstream medical doctors!! I have been going for years with NO answers and I keep getting worse and worse. I found a functional doctor online at Paleo Physicians and he is who I went to see. He believes in Paleo and natural forms of treatment. So he is running some tests and then having my regular MD run some tomorrow at my yearly physical. Ready for some answers:)

I do agree that kombucha is bad if it is taking the place of water too much..good for you doing that! I also think it's great you won't take meds..and if you do have celiac (sometimes even if you do have it you might not test positive under certain tests) it is an autoimmune disease..which is why you would do well under that protocol.

At the very least..keep trying to find a doctor near you who will listen. I have found that trial and experimentation on my own isn't working..I need to find the root cause. Plus now my little sister is getting sick..and I have to fight for her too!!

Love your posts my dear..keep at it. PS..chocolate sounds amazing:)

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The worst thing I ever did for myself was have the celiac test. Gained 7 kgs eating bread every day for 3 months then when the test was negative went back to having gluten. I had been gluten free for at least ten years after a doctor based screening test (elimination diet) showed reactions to wheat and rye... Went there to get desensitised to pollens and grasses and did some food testing as well. The next few years of my life I gained 16 more kilos, had sleep, skin and mood problems and of course IBS. Then a few years ago I did a clinical trial for nonceliac gluten intolerance and reacted to the whey protein placebo they used and ever since can no longer tolerate any form of dairy after that!

Last few years I dieted and got my weight down and avoided gluten, dairy and legumes but my iron, vitamin d, b, and liver enzymes were bad despite eating meat, getting sun everyday etc.plus I was taking anti inflammatory meds all the time for skin problems. After my whole30 the tests pretty much hit the normal ranges again... No grains and lots of fat made a big difference. I still have some skin problems but better than when I was taking the meds...

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Day 0:

Meal 1: grassfed beef over spinach and avocado

Meal 2: cold sliced baked chicken with oregano and turmeric dipped in cold baked sweet potato

Meal 3: more chicken/sweet pot

Meal 4: had girlfriends over for dinner. Roast lamb, spaghetti squash with ghee and smoked baby clams, tomato aspic (may have had sugar, my friend brought it from her family's Easter dinner, so that and the ghee is why I'm pushing day 1 back), grilled zucchini, 1 date roll

Drinks: found an additive free organic bpa free can coconut milk and am not reacting to it that I can tell so I've been drinking Pu Erh tea with coconut milk all day. It's awesome. 1 Kombucha, still probably not quite enough water

BM: once in the am

I have to say, I enjoy this off roading. But I still need my training wheels. I react to sugar with hyperactivity (of the mind and body). It's fun for a couple days and I will likely do it again next month. I read once that sugar is the original pain reliever so maybe there is a therapeutic dose to be achieved. The Moon Chocolate jar instructions said to take a teaspoon twice a day starting a week before your cycle. Chocolate as medicine, I love it.

I hope tomorrow is a rockin day 1!

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I think I need a day 1 tomorrow, I have been enjoying my freedom and trying out some foods I haven't had for awhile, including coffee and cocoa and dried fruit and pancakes... As a result my meals have been all over the place... So tomorrow I will still eat what I want except coffee and cocoa, but only at three sittings! No snacking!

Rock on Moluv!

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Juzbo- I NEVER snacked during my w60 (or whatever) and its not like I even had to try not to, I just didn't need anything beyond my meals. But since I allowed sugar in, I have been more prone to snacking. Last night after I entered my food log I got really curious about the cashew jar and had 3 small handfuls. O. M. G. So freakin delicious. I haven't reacted to them noticeably like I used to, not yet anyways. From eating cashews last night I learned two very valuable lessons: 1. 1 closed handful of them with a meal is a long-shot for me- I want to eat them to satisfaction which is more like 3-4 handfuls and I don't see how I can afford that calorie wise considering I want to slim down a little. I'd rather save up a months worth of nuts and eat them at one time, but maybe after a month on AIP my appetite will level out and things like that won't hold so much sway. 2. I think that some real healing has already taken place by just avoiding eggs. Or the 2 weeks of AIP. Or the 2 months of w30 eating. I don't know but I'm not reacting so much and I'm really grateful for that. I can see how easily I could get further off track than I would like and how if I get too lax I could find my gut leaking again and feeling all crazy and that would be pretty depressing to be back there. I see now how very little it takes to be in "moderation". A little chocolate daily is not moderation- once or twice a month is more like it. I think after this next W30 AIP I will be able to offroad safely wo needing to come immediately back to the strict confines of the rules. I hope.

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Your posts are making me laugh and cry--mostly in recognition of myself.

First, love the outfit. I'm hoping I can wear shorts this summer but first I have to heal the horrendous psoriasis I developed after my daughter was born. It was hot as a Mississippi swamp in NYC last summer and I didn't want to bare my legs. One of the big reasons I'm here.

The other is my crazy anxiety, which is analogous to your rule-making and joy self-deprivation. I'm a photographer and I "can't" take new photos till I process all of my old ones and post them online but I can't do that because I don't have time to make them exactly perfect. Ergo, I am not using my camera at all these days.

I'd love to see your art as a WIP. Always enjoy hearing more about artists who are also moms. And how they make their art.

Also gluten and ADHD? Seems like a no-brainer. Pretty sure it's mentioned in most of the ADD books I've read.

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Beets: I can totally sympathize with wanting to hide skin in summer- I have keratosis pilaris on my arms and legs and have struggled with it. I know stress plays a role and I can only imagine life with kids in NYC. The pressure! Are you following AIP also? Are you noticing improvements? Also- patagonia and marmot both make wonderful summer pants that are cooling- if you end up going that route again may as well be as comfortable as possible right.

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Day 0:

Meal 1: ground beef and sweet potato with herbs

Meal 2: grilled chicken with turmeric and oregano, cold sweet potato

Meal 3: 90% chocolate bar sweetened with dates and a teensy of agave. It was awesome and only the slightest bit sweet- mostly bitter. Really great fair trade organic and raw. Coconut water.

Meal 4: baked chicken with turmeric and cinnamon, coconut butternut squash soup, raw baby carrots, frozen bing cherries and coconut milk

Drinks: 1 bottle Kombucha, Pu-Erh tea with coconut milk, plus the aforementioned coconut water.

BM: 2 (post meal 1&2, awesome)

I had a little body image meltdown status orange this afternoon. For one I wore the pants that I had excitedly started fitting into during the first few weeks of w30- except today they were feeling too snug again. I'm really picky about my clothes being comfortable so trust me- I noticed! To make it worse I received a pair of pants I had ordered NWT off eBay. They are from Athleta and I've wanted them since the last fall catalog, but thought they were a little pricy for not even getting to try on. When I saw them on eBay I snatched em up at a great price. The online reviews said they run small and to order a size up. So I did and they were still tight. I know it's partly this style of pants being known for running small. But I also know that I have gone off the W30 and am eating things that don't make me more healthy and by healthy in this case I mean NOT BLOATED. So that got me to meltdown status yellow, but the worst was my FIL gave me a stack of yoga magazines and looking at the pictures I know I can do pretty much every pose and often near as well as the women in the photos but then I feel like its of no importance because I am not as small (and never will be) as them, and the smallness is prized in our culture above all things. Or at least that is the belief I allow myself to hold. I could just as easily decide to believe that supple hip flexors are the trait most valued by society, in which case I could peer down from a very high pedestal.

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