Jump to content

Happy Ever After 100 Days of Awesome


Recommended Posts

Hi, gang!  The queen of crappy eating is checking in.  It has been a tough summer, but the roof of my store is finally repaired, and the mold mitigation people were in to do an estimate, so all that mess should be cleared up shortly.

 

I am closing my store for the first five days of September.  Other than when my dad died last year, I haven't taken any time off in almost 4 years.  I plan to get my house and yard in order, give the store a thorough cleaning after the mold people leave, and get myself back on track.  I picked up a chest freezer from an online yard sale group I belong to on facebook, and I plan on making tons of paleo meals to stock it with, so there is never an excuse to reach for processed food again.  (Well, at least not until next summer and the start of baby bird season once again.)

 

I have been craving fresh vegetables.  I've been trying to work kale salads, etc. into my lunches, and feel much better when I do. 

 

The goal is to start a W30 on 9/1 to help myself get back on the program.  And my customer who is the bird trainer for the raptor show at the Naples Zoo stopped by to ask if I was considering hiring any help.  I am, but it is hard to find someone with the skill set I need.  He had a college student doing an internship this summer, but it is nearly over and she is looking for p/t work during the school year.  He said she has come so far and learned so much that he didn't want her to go to a chain store to pick up bad habits, since she's the kind of person he is interested in hiring after graduation.  He said my hygiene standards and training methods are so compatible with his own that he would rather she work for me if possible.  So hopefully, she will stop by soon and then I will have an extra pair of hands which might even mean I get to go to the gym again.  I'm also flattered that someone with such a position at a nationally accredited zoo would recognize little old me for having standards that meet the approval of the professionals.

 

Hope all is well.  Don't have time to read back.  Just the most recent entry.  Wow, Karen!  Must feel good to see how far you've come!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 386
  • Created
  • Last Reply

hi everyone! I am reading along and missing you all! still struggling and feeling frustrated but trying to hold onto being proud of how far I've come. two squares of dark chocolate have become 4 or 6...1/2 a bar, a whole bar some days. a little dairy has become a daily thing. ketchup has been added. I have eaten dressings/etc more and more. I almost ate the rest of my daughter's chocolate milkshake from in & out burger last night. nuts? yes. lots. lara bars? sure! why not! and I'm just frustrated. I'm also terrified, there have been so many people who have commented on my weight loss, etc, that I dread the thought of gaining any weight back. and part of me wonders if some of this is self sabotage. attention is hard for me, especially when it ties to my appearance.

 

SO...what does that mean? and how do I feel I need to change? today a small step is no nuts or chocolate. I also realize I need to do a little something. it's back to the old dropping the whole egg carton for breaking an egg. but a little in reverse, I don't have to be perfect today all at once, but I need to at least do something, and this is manageable.

 

my next whole30 is planned for October. my daughter's birthday is September 8th. but I have a lot of "things" coming up. she had her first day of school, her birthday, her first gymnastics meet, my dad's birthday. all of these things "reasons" I get to eat whatever I want. and truthfully it would be easier and more tolerable for me if I was being more vigilant the rest of the time. I have taken to having heavy cream in my coffee, but I would like to cut out the rest of the dairy. my eczema on my knee is back.

 

Karen - YAY for a good date! BOO that he turned out to be so uncomfortable with his own eating habits/health/etc that he tried to get you to come along. if nothing else it was a great experience, right? and I'm so happy about your meat CSA. that sounds fantastic. any new dates on the horizon? I am living vicariously through you! :)

 

Maryann - I'm so that your shop is finally getting fixed up! I know how damaging mold can be to our health, etc. and I know how frustrated you are about your food choices. I am frustrated with mine. but I so admire your attitude of putting the past behind and looking forward. it's exactly what I need. a day of cooking sounds fabulous. my freezer food is running low. and I need some new recipes to freeze. that's part of my problem, in so many ways I feel like my "compliant" meal choices need to be expanded.

 

Shelly - I have a hard time with cooking, especially now that the little one is 2. and an attention lover. she always wants to be with me, held, etc. how are you doing? how is your husband?

 

I am going to try to be more accountable and one thing that always helps me is coming on here, checking in, answering questions in the other forums, etc. so that's another mini goal for me. thanks you guys for being here! and today IS a new day!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Jess-- go back and read your post from our Whole 100. You were awesome. I think you will inspire yourself if you read them.

I just did a w30 reset. The brakes fell off for me with ice cream and wine when i was on vacation. I am on day 27. I feel alot more in control.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi, all!  Gearing up to get back on the wagon.  Made a double batch of chocolate chili night before last, making a double batch of beef stew right now.  Cut up all the veggies and meat last night and put half in the crock pot (yes, I have a crock pot, not a slow cooker.  I have my original bright orange Rival crock pot that I've had since the 70s.)  That is coming out momentarily and the rest is going in.

 

Roasted some sweet potatoes and seasoned up some ground pork last night, too.  Browned off the sausage and made sweet potato hash and eggs this morning for the first time in a long time.  I didn't realize how much I missed it.

 

Next up:  Defrosting chicken for a double batch of green curry, and some curried chicken salad for lunches.  All that will be left to get started is a batch of mayo and some ghee.  I got a huge jar of virgin coconut oil at Sam's.  Never saw it there before.  54 oz for $15.  Even cheaper than TJ's and that's saying something.

 

Hope everyone is doing well.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Jess - let's talk about the potential self-sabotage.  I'm totally guilty of that.  I'll drop 3 pounds in a week and will 'make up for it' by eating a bag of chips in an hour.  I'm getting better at that, and you will too.  Attention towards a new body can be overwhelming at times, particularly if you (I) don't feel like I have the inside stuff lined up to match it.  But along with that new body comes a new mindset.  Really, people are inadvertently complimenting your new mindset about food.  It seems like it's geared towards the physical, but really, it's all about the change and dedication in how you think about food.  And that kind of attention is only good.  I'd encourage you not to think about the physical changes - although they're awesome!  If that's hard for you to hear, just remind yourself that those compliments are ONLY a result of hard work, dedication, and the desire to for HEALTH.  Not being skinny.  Those are two completely different things.  You may think they're checking out your new figure, but really, they're just in awe that you have it all figured out.  Don't forget that!  

 

Linda, sounds like you're really back on track, and that's awesome!!!  Wooo hooooo!  I hope your reset helps you feel more in control of lots of other things.  And I'm glad you may potentially get some qualified help!  Keep us posted on that, k?

 

Shelley - glad you were able to get a reset!

 

I have to admit, I'm feeling really good these days.  I feel like my crackdown on eating has really helped.  In the past, I'd eat really well for a while and then let it slip.  Since mid-May, I've been going really strong.  I'll let a (small) bag of chips fried in avocado oil and a glass of wine slip in from time to time without guilt, but otherwise, I'm doing really well.  Nothing on my no-no list is slipping in just because I feel like it.  I finally feel like this is what I have to do CONSISTENTLY for a long time.  All in all, my health is reflecting that.  My social calendar is filling up, I have energy to do fun things, and I'm really enjoying life again.  I feel like myself.  And for that, I'm grateful.

 

And... the only benefit of online dating is that you get to meet lots of people.  So the last guy was a dud, but I met someone new that totally rocks.  We've only been out a few times so there's clearly potential for it to fall apart, but he loves my home, my completely compliant cooking, and wants to do more than sit in a restaurant every time we get together.  It's pretty awesome.  

 

On a totally unrelated note, my quest for supreme health has led me in a lot of different directions in the past - acupuncture, rolfing, cranio-sacral therapy, etc.  Next up?  Colonic!  I go in next week.  It's supposed to help the gut heal faster by cleaning things out, and ultimately help food sensitivities, so I'm going to give it a shot.  Wish me luck...  Ha!  

 

How's everyone else doing?  Linda?  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wow, how have I missed this thread for so long??? I had no idea it was still going?

I finally got a whole30 happening again after at least 5 restarts, got to 7-12 days a few times, then had a perfect run through to day 26 a couple of weeks ago before I let my hormones best me (cycle was 9 days late then monstrous). I was thinking of a 60 anyway to take me through to my next holiday, so had a weekend off then back to it, jjust finished day 5 today. I am working on my meal sizes and eating three times a day and exercising to be a bit fitter for summer clothes and water activities in Thailand... It's winter here of course right now. I did the whole25 caffeine free and proved that the coffee is the main culprit messing up my skin. In the break I had my first ice cream in 9 months. I did enjoy it but I also feel I can live without it. My stomach coped fine surprisingly.... Last time I had dairy I reacted instantly. But I did get some nasty spots 3 days later. I have also proved beyond doubt that the weeks I eat meat, veg and eggs, moderate fruit and little to no nuts, coconut or dried fruit are the weeks my digestive system sails through without a hitch.

I still haven't got my fitness back after my May surgery and the inactivity means I have stacked on a good few kilos. But I have healed physically and mentally now and am back to a routine of exercise finally so hopefully my clothes will start to fit better soon. The wonderful benefit of whole9 eating is that I haven't had one cold or virus since I first started in October. I am highly jealous of the people that can lose weight quite well on a whole 30 but accept I am not one of them. I know I can lose weight on a diet but it never lasts and I no longer want to do that to myself. I have made many permanent changes and am still optimistic that a year or two of following this approach will eventually result in a more stable balanced body and mind.

My job has finally sorted out and my mum has got the 3 months all clear after bladder cancer surgery and treatment and my sister is back at work after 8 weeks in hospital for depression related issues so life is looking good right now.

I will now reread all your updates again to see what you have all been up to!

Okay, done that, wow, what a lot of ups and downs, I have so missed you all, sending out huge cyber hugs to each of you.

Jess, you will get your mojo back, keep going

Karen you are amazing the way you have taken control of your health, and fingers crossed on the guy front.

Amy, I love your new look, and can sympathise and relate to the hard slog and emotional issues.

Linda, hang in there, you are about to turn the corner, you'll see.

Maryann, thank goodness you are such a dedicated resourceful person with all that has been going on in your life, I don't know how you cope so well. Good luck for tomorrow (day 1)

Shelley, I have been thinking of you and Dan... I love yoga flow and am glad it is helping you

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Justine, we were worried about you.  It had been so long!  Don't be a stranger.  Glad things are moving in a positive direction for you.  I'm starting a W30 Sept 1st.  Your coffee mention got me thinking.  Maybe I will eliminate it for 30 days.  My rosacea had been doing so well until i tried the kambucha that time.  The outbreak took a while to subside, and it has never completely cleared up, no matter how clean I ate.  I never thought about the coffee being a possible culprit.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Juzbo-- so happy to hear from you here.

Linda-- are you ready to move home

MaryAnn-- seems like you have made it through an extremely rough patch. Are you able to cook again? Is there a fresh market or anything near you that prepares compliant food?

Jess-- Karens perspective is a great

And Karen---- you go girl!!!!!

Today is 30 days. I can't drink wine anymore because I need to be able to physically care for my husband and that's just too difficult now if I drink liquor. He has been eating ice cream every night and that's a no brakes food for me so it's been amazing that we have it in the house and I haven't had any. That's my biggest success in these 30 days!

The most important part of the reset starts now. How I am going to really ride my bike and incorporate these life changes. I feel,so much better eating Paleo. The Jewish high holy days begin next week and I have no problem preparing great Paleo meals for company.

My husband continues to become more disabled. It's happening so quickly. We signed up for hospice respite care this week. It's truly surreal.

We also opened a new 56000 square foot JCC this week ( do you know that I am the CEO of a JCC here with 2 56000 square foot centers-- one in palm beach gardens and one in Boynton beach). My staff in palm beach gardens worked so hard to get the center opened for the start of preschool -- including all of building and health inspections. It's an amazing accomplishment for all of us which I cannot believe I did while my husband has been so ill.

So that's my update. I hope you all have a great Labor Day weekend. We don't get out much anymore so please have fun for me and appreciate the last of the good weather and time with your families and friends. Xo. Glad you are all still here.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Shelley, my heart goes out to you.  You've got a tough road ahead.  If there's anything I can do, I'm only a couple of hours away.  The respite care will be a blessing.  I know this from experience.  The people who do this are truly angels on earth.

 

All the time we've spent on W??s and most of us are still trying to get the bike riding down.  I feel like I am just an extremist.  I'm either one thing or the other.  I'm either eating clean, or I'm not reining myself in at all from stuff I shouldn't have.  I keep hoping each time I will slow the pendulum down and stop it from swinging so far from center.  Moderation seems to be a struggle for me, and for some of you.  But, hey!  None of us have given up!  We're still fighting the good fight.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Ho Everyone!

 

I just spent a very pleasant space of time catching up on all of the posts that I've missed.  I have an email notification but often 1 or 2 slip through the cracks.

 

Maryann - I'm thrilled that the mold monster is being contained and that your store is getting cleaned up so you can get back in there and conduct business as usual.

 

Great too that you're cooking up a storm, stocking the freezer and planning ahead.

 

I notice in our thread how hard we are on ourselves when we are not 100% compliant but I want to point out that the Paleo is certainly a way of life, the Whole30 is used to get us cleaned up and back on track.  Everyone is SO aware of what works and what doesn't and what I am appreciating so much is hoe everyone finds their way back to what works best using their Whole30 tools!

 

We are rockstars!

 

Karen - I am so proud of you for not settling.  This new guy sounds dreamy and I love that he's willing to do more than eat crappy food and drink booze.  Please keep us posted on the progress.  My fingers are crossed for you!

 

Shelley - What a full plate you have and yet I see and feel this peace and acceptance of doing the next indicated thing where Dan is concerned and taking care of yourself which is often the first thing to fall off of our list of "to-do's".  So vital because we really need to be fit and healthy inside and out to handle life challenges.  I think of you both often and send gobs of love your way.  Thank you also for always remembering to ask how I am.  It means so much to me and is so appreciated.  XOXO

 

Justine - I am so glad to see you posting!  We really have missed you!

I was told when I started this journey over 2 years ago that "It takes 50 miles to walk into the woods, it will take 50 miles to walk out" but I honestly think it sometimes takes a little longer than that.  So, slow and steady wins the race.  You're doing what you should do to recover and move forward.  Be gentle with yourself and post often.  We're here to support you.

 

Jess - What you wrote about is what I'm talking about too.  We figure out what works and what doesn't and we make the adjustments.  Way to go for recognizing what serves you and what doesn't!  At the end of the day so much of what we do, boils down to the way we're feeling about ourselves.

 

I see everyone of us growing in this area and it makes me proud of our progression.

 

As for me...

 

First thanks to all of you who have asked after me and how I'm doing.

 

I move back home this weekend and have been both excited and very nervous.  I like to know how everything is going to turn out and of course I don't right now.  I am bringing Tessa home with me and hope to adopt her soon.  We are very bonded to each other and I honestly cannot imagine my life without her.  She bring me a lot of joy and laughter.

I ate potato chips for breakfast this morning.  No pretty way to say that!!  Stress eating.

I also had a vegan friend in town for a week and it was very hard to eat the way I do and accomodate how she eats too.  I finally told her I was making myself sick eating processed tofu and other soy products and that it was not my intention to offend her but that I had to eat the way I eat to take care of myself.

 

Some times I think these situations arise so we can recommit to what works for us.

 

In a way i am lucky.  I cannot have any grains, sugar or dairy.  If I do, I land in bed horribly ill for 1 to 2 days, so there's no payoff for me!  It keeps me in a pretty good place except for when I decide potato chips for breakfast is a good idea!  LOL!

 

Speaking of our health journeys, I am just about to start working with a woman who is in CA who does nutritional and health analysis through hair testing and a few other things.  I am really ready to push my health to the next level so am excited to see what the hair testing results show and what she'll recommend.

 

I'll keep you all posted.

 

I've waxed poetic long enough.  Suffice it to say that I have missed you all and hold you all in warm thoughts.

 

Linda

Link to comment
Share on other sites

it's so nice to see a burst of energy on our thread! funny how we go to life and always come back here. I know, for me, it's just great to "see" every one of you and know how you are doing.

 

Maryann - I am so happy you are doing a cook up! you are inspiring me! no matter where we are we always get to go forward! I must admit, I am so all or nothing, just like you. I'm either in our out. and I'm finally finding somewhat of a balance.

 

Juzbo - so happy to hear from you again! glad you are finally starting to get back to moving after your surgery. so happy you are back on a strict whole30 and I'm actually looking forward to mine starting October 1. I'm kind of glad I'm waiting because I feel like I will be more determined than if I were to start now. I'm kind of like...meh...I should start one but I think I would peter out. so I'm going to wait until my intended time and by then I should be good and ready.

 

Karen - THANK YOU! yes, I know. we are always trying to match our body to our perception. oddly enough when I had gained all my weight I didn't realize how heavy I was. and you're right, people do ask about what I eat, etc. but mostly they say "I NEVER could do that". which is exactly what I always said. and actually the attention does keep me aware of my food and my relationship to it. there have been so many people I have introduced to this way of eating and I hope at least one decides to follow through.

 

Shelly - I am thinking about you and all you are going through. you are a great inspiration. and thank you for reminding me to go back and re-read my posts. I forget to do that. it's hard to look back and be kind, isn't it? continue to take care of yourself through this time. sounds like you have a great support.

 

Linda - yay for moving back home!!! I know, I wish I had a crystal ball, too. would make everything better...or would it?! :) and I don't think eating potato chips for breakfast is the worst thing in the world. not even close.

 

as I said I have taken out nuts and chocolate for now. and I'm super surprised and happy with myself for continuing with it. I am so used to going all or nothing that it's been a true test to just stop THOSE TWO THINGS and still eat the dairy I've been having and the salad dressings with some added sugar and/or dairy. and it's working. maybe that's why it is, because I'm not trying to do it all at once. the bad news? I decided to get some raw honey. and it's healthy, right?! so I have been eating about a TBSP at night in replacement of my chocolate. SO, I think I will give it a couple days and then vote that off my island, too. the problem is I'm eating it alone. pure sugar. and a reminder of my eating powdered sugar out of the bag days.

 

Thursday nights my daughter has gymnastics practice until 8:30 and it's pretty hard at the end of the day to do anything other than jump into bed. so I stop by my local Indian restaurant on the way home (it's becoming a weekly routine). this is the place I ate my "last meal" from and so it has some odd place in my heart (that "last meal" was pretty much an entire entree with rice and an order of naan...all by myself...followed by 2 desserts). I have eaten some of the chicken before even though it's cooked in a cream sauce and last night I hadn't eaten, so I shared my girls dinner (butter chicken and rice - I'm not crazy enough to even have a bite of the naan) and this morning for the first time in the past 9 months I had diarrhea. I don't think it's coincidence. I guess next week I'll have to make sure I have something for myself in the fridge! :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

hi all! well, had a bit of a stressful day last night and just wanted to come on here and vent a little. it was my daughter's first gymnastics "meet" (not really a competition, just in her gym to give them an idea of what their score would be and what they need to work on for next weekend - their first real meet) and Indie got the lowest score on two events. I take it harder than she does. and I hate that. I'm trying so hard not to let it get to me and trying especially not to let my daughter see me get frustrated or disappointed in her but MAN it's hard! so I came home and ate ice cream.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Poor Jess! Managing stress is the hardest thing for me too. Been stewing over some work projects, drinking too much cocoa/decaf and not getting enough sleep and as a result my last two days of eating have been compliant but not good/balanced!

It's Father's Day here today so off to buy a stack of stuff for lunch that I won't eat :(

Yay, didnt have champagne, gf biscuits or any other nasties!

But I am voting nuts, coffee, cocoa and coconut off my island this week. Any time I have coffee, even decaf I seem to get antsy and succumb to cravings for nuts, dried fruit, coconut etc and get a sore stomach as well. I think this then messes up my digestion and I don't metabolise my food as well, and of course I end up eating more than I need too.

So this week I am going to prove to myself how much happier and healthier I am without these and find new resolve to restrict them.

Have a good week everyone.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A little tough love here, Jess.  It is not important in the grand scheme of things if your daughter is the best at gymnastics.  It is important that she find a physical activity she enjoys and develops the habit of getting exercise for life.  I remember your disappointment when she didn't make the cut for team initially.  You were far more upset than she was.  As I recall, you even had words with the coach.

 

I know she is your daughter and you love her to death, and in your eyes she is perfect in every way.  But now that she has made the team she is scoring near the bottom.  Is it possible she has been promoted beyond her level of current expertise?  Did she get promoted in part to placate you?  Please don't be a 'stage mother'.  You will suck all the joy out of the experience for her.  And if you've pushed her to a level where she may never be 'the best', how long before consistently falling short discourages her into dropping out?

 

 

I know from where I speak.  I grew up in an environment of competitive dance.  I was never going to be the world champion, but I enjoyed the travel, seeing different cities, staying in hotels, the costumes, and all the social aspects of the life.  And I had a mother who constantly pushed us to do more.  It wasn't about me, it was about her status in the 'mother's group'.  She needed to be the mother of champions.  She was living her life vicariously through her children.  I didn't have the talent to ever be the top, and I knew that, and I was fine with that, unless I was being held up for comparison with others.  Then all it did was make me feel bad.  I couldn't be the dancer my mother wanted.  I couldn't live up to her expectations.  I knew the judges weren't blind or biased.  I knew I didn't have what it took to hit the big time.  So every time she was upset at a score, and tried to blame it on someone else, it just made me feel more and more inadequate.  No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't achieve what my mother wanted to see.  So eventually I stopped trying.  And one day I just walked away. 

 

Please, for the sake of your daughter's long term mental and physical health, stop pushing her.  Stop worrying about a stupid score.  She is still perfect if she never wins a meet.  Let her enjoy what she's doing.  Don't take the fun out of it because she can feel your disappointment and the stress of trying to be 'good enough' to please you makes gymnastics a chore.  Ask yourself what is so important to you about her receiving higher scores.  Are you tangling your own self-esteem up in her accomplishments?

 

And in reality, it doesn't even matter if she does have the talent to be the best.  Talent isn't enough, you also have to have the drive.  Without both those things, it just won't happen.  It sounds like she is happy just being part of the group.  Or maybe she is acting like it's no big deal because she knows it upsets you when she falls short.  She may not feel free to express her own disappointment because it would be like adding salt to your wounds.  Everyone wants the best for their children.  That's perfectly natural.  But the truth is that less than 1/10 of 1% ever hit the pinnacle of their chosen activity.  The rest do it for the love of the sport.  Please don't tarnish that love.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Maryann - you are the best. I do understand exactly what you are saying, and my biggest struggle and stress from the situation was about ME and the fact that I WANT HER TO BE THE BEST and I never said that to her, we still went out to eat to celebrate, I told her how amazing she was (she really was!) but inside I was crazy. and so I ate some ice cream (and right, Juzbo...it could've been worse!!) so it wasn't that I was mad at her, it was that I was trying to control that crazy so she didn't see it. there is nothing that she did "wrong" and she tried her hardest. I asked her if there was anything she thought she could do better or anything she thought I could do to help (she wanted to have a private lesson with her coach this week so I'm going to do that for her) and we moved on. no more talking about it, just lots of talk about how amazing she did.

 

I go through all of this in my head and it has been a fantastic experience for me. you are 100% right in saying that HER performance affects MY EGO and luckily I am working with a therapist right now about that (so hopefully in the future I won't eat ice cream!) but I want her to continue to love the sport, to enjoy her team mates, to be proud of herself whatever she does and whatever "place" she gets. she really did have an off performance on both events and it could've been nerves of being judged for the first time, or it could've just been an off day. either way she got up in front of other people and was judged and she did it. she is amazing. some things in life she will be the best, others she will be the worst. and I would much rather her be the best in math, science, reading...

 

I highly doubt she will ever win the gold or move on to the Olympics. but you hit it on the head when you said "Champion of the Mothers". it's so sad that parents tie so much of who they are onto what their kids can or can't do. there is another kid on her team that everything just "clicks" with. she is amazing. it's almost as though she doesn't even have to try. and I am SO JEALOUS. and I don't like the mom because of that (even though she is super nice and friendly...I really do like her but I'm still jealous of her).

 

ANYWAYS, my post the other day was cut a little short because my daughter came downstairs and I didn't want her to know that I was writing it. but she is and will always be the #1 gymnast to me!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am weighing in here with love and as the Mom if 2 grown amazing children who were required to play team sports not to exceed but to learn about team. But before I begin -- maryAnn-- you are amazing. If ever you feel I need tough love, bring it on woman!!!!

Jess-- your kids sense your disappointment even as you are telling them they are the best. They see your body language your face -- they know you better than anyone!!!

That's why you need to work hard to have it be ok that they are there to have fun, to be part of the team, to do their best but in the end none if that matters as long as they learn team and good values.

And those moms go home behind closed doors and they could be the worst parents-- which I assure you from the bottom if my heart-- I see your posts and your Facebook -- you are an amazing Mom.

You don't want to teach them that when they are disappointed that ice cream solves all. Remember they are watching and learning from you always.

Much love,

From Me

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Phew!  After I posted that rant, I almost took it down.  I wasn't sure how it would be received.  But I'm incapable of keeping my mouth shut, so I left it.  Thank you. 

 

But I was that child, and I could feel for her in a way I can't even explain.  Shelley is right, Jess, she knows you too well.  You can't hide your disappointment from her.  I think you are amazing that you can recognize and admit that you have this challenge to work on.  It is hard for all of us to see our own warts, let alone own up to them, but we don't grow as people until and unless we do.  That is something that has always been hard for me to do.  And it may be tied up in that little girl who couldn't ever live up to expectations.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When my kids come last in athletics and feel bad, I remind them that someone has to come last. And at least they gave it a go. And if its a final I remind them of how well they did to make the top cut. And if they are still a bit sad I tell them the true story of how I pulled out of the 200 m at my sports day in high school as I knew I would come last. My English teacher asked me why and I lied saying I didn't feel well. 35 years later and I am still regretting it... And as an adult it's no longer a big deal coming to me coming last, its more important to be involved in something....

Hope that helps.......

Sounds like you are trying your best and doing really well though!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I did, but I didn't give up coffee.  I figured as off-track as I had been, there would be enough detox symptoms.  Why make it harder?  I am planning to do so at a later date.  One thing I can say is that it's like riding a bike.  Once you know how, you know how forever.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

hi all! I'm still here, licking my wounds a little bit, trying not to be too hard on myself for my reaction to Indie's performance a couple weeks ago. I am so happy I had the experience I did BEFORE the first meet. she had it last Saturday. and SHE WAS AMAZING! I was so proud of her and she looked so beautiful up there. I wish I knew how to link her performance on here. I know Shelly saw it on FB. I was worried she wouldn't get a medal and I knew she wanted one, her teammates pretty much all did, and when it was her age division I was so happy to see she got a 7th and an 8th place medal. 10th place all around in her age division. she was SO PROUD. and so was I. it was fantastic to see her against other gyms, too. she has another meet coming up next Friday and I know she's excited. she knows what to expect (and so do I!) and has some extra practices between now and then, so that should help. and I bought her a beam for her birthday (it was Sunday). it should get here on Thursday so I'm desperately trying to create space in our tiny condo. it's not a full size or anything, it's maybe 1 foot off the floor and 8 feet, but it will be great for her to practice on.

 

NOW onto my food. sigh. I've been getting take out. a lot. this past weekend was completely exhausting with her meet on Saturday and her birthday on Sunday. she wanted to go to the beach boardwalk. so we went the WHOLE day with three other friends. so I ate: garlic fries. cotton candy. ice cream. caramel apple. AND THAT'S IT. seriously. yesterday I was SO sluggish and headachy and blah. then last night I ordered pizza for the kids. the pizza joint has gluten free pizza and the crust is tapioca and brown rice flour. let me tell you - this is the first time I've really had pizza since January. IT WAS AMAZING. I seriously was worried they forgot to use a gluten free crust. needless to say this cannot be something that comes into my house. I need to start some cooking - and fast! I'm a bit sick of my recipes and am actually feeling like I need to "hold on" to them until October when I'm due for my next whole30. I've also been eating a Panera salad - Fuji apple - a LOT. it's SO good but the dressing does have sugar listed as one of the ingredients.

 

so, I'm not exactly happy with my food lately. not at all. but I'm in process, right? I have always said birthdays were something I was going to allow myself to eat junk on, and we always go to our favorite restaurant to celebrate and they have a great gluten free dessert. I'm not sure when we will go, but I will see how I feel and may also have that.

 

how is everyone doing? (are you still even here after reading my long rambling post?!)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'll read your ramblings anytime girlfriend!

Enjoy your birthday treats!

I've just had two days away for work, its getting quite easy to stay compliant these days, except for potato chips! One night I bought roast beef, strawberries, carrots, soda water and a small packet of chips from a supermarket for dinner and really enjoyed it.

Life for me is much easier without sugar. I have started sleeping much better too... Now if I could only get some weight loss happening so I can fit into my holiday clothes in two weeks!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That brings back memories.... I rest my case that life is much easier without sugar!

I have been trialling eating two meals a day, thinking my holiday in Thailand will be much easier to manage if I can do this. The trial is going surprisingly well!

And I've just realised day 19 is done, so not long to go now!!!

Happy whatever peeps!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Juzbo - good to see you and good to hear things are going well!

 

Jess - Yay for your daughter!  I know your Whole30 in October will go well, so don't beat yourself up about things just yet, k?  You can reel it in when you want to.  Are you on Pinterest?  There are loads of good recipes out there if you're in a rut!  

 

Maryann - any update on the help?  Were you able to hire someone?

 

Shelley - you're always in my thoughts.

 
Linda - hope things are going well back at home!
 
A few things: 
- I had my second colonic today.  I'm amazed at how much crap (literally) comes out.  Diet isn't healing my gut as fast as I would have liked; I'm hopeful a round of 3 colonics will help speed things up.  Fingers crossed!  
- I've been feeling really at peace lately.  I'm really interested in getting to the roots of things - the whys and hows of things.  When I can figure that out, I know how to address it and eventually tackle it.  That's been true for my physical health the past few years.  Diet - specifically paleo - plays a big part of that for me.  But recently, I learned some information about how the cave-man life shaped how women think, feel, and react - particularly when it comes to relationships.  Really, my mind was blown and my whole mindset has changed.  I feel like all the thoughts I've had running through my mind in years past finally make sense and are NORMAL based on how we're hard wired.  I feel so much more at peace as a result.  It's pretty incredible how a little bit of information can have such an impact.  
- My meat CSA opened up a store that's on my way home from work!!!!  Their original store is a 25 minute drive away so I'm STOKED!  They literally opened up today and as a celebration of their opening have been aging a cow for 3 weeks.  I picked up the most delicious looking steaks and short ribs.  I'm going to be feasting this weekend!  :)
- I made my own ketchup last weekend.  It's AWESOME!  
 
Hope everyone is well!
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.


×
×
  • Create New...