1Maryann Posted May 25, 2013 Share Posted May 25, 2013 Happy Weekend, Ladies! I'm still mostly compliant, but sabotaging myself in other areas. I've been staying up too late, not getting enough sleep, and throwing my body off. I've been tired in the day time (duh!), and I'm back to waking up 2-3 times a night to pee. I keep telling myself tonight I'll go to bed earlier, but next thing I know it's almost midnight and I'm still watching tv, reading, or messing on the laptop, even though my eyes are practically closing. Why do I do this to myself? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melbournegirl Posted May 25, 2013 Author Share Posted May 25, 2013 I've been messing up too and been trying all week to get back into the groove...tomorrow! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shelley417 Posted May 25, 2013 Share Posted May 25, 2013 True confession: u I have been eating chocolate at night and jellybeans. Have not been able to sleep through the night. I have been compliant for z2 days. Last night I slept 12 hours-- no theanine, no Calm! Sugar is the devil. My choice! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
okeedokie Posted May 25, 2013 Share Posted May 25, 2013 MaryAnn, Thank you so much for bringing this up! I'm doing the same thing. Out late last night for a concert. Up at the crack of dawn. Haven't been in the gym much lately and feeling overall on the blah side. If I ask myself why it's a big DUH. Not enough sleep. Not enough water, not enough vegetables. My protein is fine. In other words I'm getting lazy again. How the hell does this happen? I pulled my size 12 pants out of my dresser and set them aside to donate. There must be a lot of fear for me in letting them go because I put my size 10 pants on yesterday and my midrift was a full blown muffin top! Shit. Just shit. Sabotage and fear for me. Plain & simple and yet I have to ask myself what am I afraid of? Getting healthier? Feeling better? Time to have a "come to Jesus" with myself and quit screwing around. I had my IUD removed last week. I'm wondering if after having it in for 7 years, if my body is swollen. Does that makes sense or is it just an excuse? Hmmm. I'd love your feedback. Thank you for talking about this. I can't tell you how grateful I am that some of us are experiencing similar things. It helps to sort things out, address the issues and move forward. Hugs, Linda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jtandi Posted May 25, 2013 Share Posted May 25, 2013 ok...so who's in with me for the June whole30? I ate coconut milk ice cream yesterday. from the carton. I'm sure not really more than an actual serving size (maybe 1/2 cup) but it was food without breaks for me and afterwards I felt SO sick, bloated, nauseated, starving for bread (specifically), just awful. I am chalking it up to the carrageenen (sp?) in it. it's the one thing that was significantly different in what I ate. it was horrible. I haven't felt that way since before my whole100. I also have not done a great cook up. my plan is to do one tomorrow. I've been going day to day and have no great supply of protein OR veg in my fridge. that means I grab a handful of nuts and a piece of dried fruit. and a lara bar. and some coconut milk ice cream. for the love of God. seriously. Linda - I'm having some come to Jesus moments, too. let's do this ladies! Shelly - chocolate and jellybeans. I have chocolate every night (2 squares dark chocolate) Maryann - I am doing the same thing. I am EXHAUSTED but all of a sudden it's 11 and I'm reading my book/watching tv/etc. WTF?! Juzbo - you are already in, right? June 3 but I am willing to start the 1st if everyone else wants to. I am having a beginning of summer party on the 2nd so I'd like to wait, but anything is possible in the whole30 world - even a summer party! XOXOXOXOXO to all my angels out there! :wub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan W Posted May 25, 2013 Share Posted May 25, 2013 I off road so infrequently that I think I'll pass but I will definitely stop by to cheer you guys on. Derval and KB are talking about June 1 start. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melbournegirl Posted May 25, 2013 Author Share Posted May 25, 2013 Jess I'm in! I'll do a soft start starting (again) today (just had my sunday morning coffee) but join you for your first day. I am planning to have my last day 2nd july I think that works out as 30 days with a June 3rd start? I can't answer for most of you but Linda I know for me stress is the biggest contributor right now.... Having the surgery, having stresses at work... I am tying to secure a permanent full time job and have been juggling lots of part time work to try to create enough interest for a full time gig. My husbands accident and my mums second cancer have all contributed too. As has my frustration that I can eat and be healthy but can't seem to lose weight this way without calorie counting and scales which I refuse to do and now I am having to wear those once too large work pants that were stashed away a few years ago... Sigh! But I do still believe the answer is in the whole30. Some people need a year of this style eating to heal and I think I am one of them. I haven't eaten dairy or legumes or soy at all this year and hence am enjoying a vastly improved immune system and normal blood test results. My disrupters are cocoa and coffee and nuts and coconut and getting the right level of fat and protein. I am ready to try this again! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
okeedokie Posted May 26, 2013 Share Posted May 26, 2013 OK. I'm in for the 30 days starting June 1st. I have come so far, I just can't afford to fall back into those old crappy habits. Here we go again ladies! LOL! This should be a great opportunity to get back on track and fine tune ourselves. woot woot! June 1st start, right? Linda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shelley417 Posted May 26, 2013 Share Posted May 26, 2013 Ok. I'm in for 30 days starting tomorrow. My last day will be June 24. I leave for vacation (hopefully) June 23. We are renting a family farm house in Maine. I don't want to drive everyone crazy with the details but I need this next month to keep on track. So -- I am in! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melbournegirl Posted May 26, 2013 Author Share Posted May 26, 2013 Yay, do we need to start a new post? Any ideas for a name? Thirty days of Awesome??? Or keep going with this one? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jtandi Posted May 26, 2013 Share Posted May 26, 2013 I think 30 days of awesome would do it! Shelly - you get to start it! I am planning on June 3 start, too, and yes, I counted that it will bring us to July 2. so the thread can go from May 26 (is that tomorrow?) through the 2nd... agreed...I didn't do all this hard work to slip back quietly - I will fight! and I think it will take me time to truly "get it". at least for now I really think whole30 3x a year will be at least what I need...especially when I have all you girls here with me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melbournegirl Posted May 26, 2013 Author Share Posted May 26, 2013 I've broken a lot of bad habits since I started but still have a few to sort out! This is my year! Just realised Jess I will finish ahead of you anyway due to the time difference.... Not to worry. Yes Shelley please confirm if your start day is the 26th or 27th.... Here it's 6 pm on sun 26th right now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shelley417 Posted May 26, 2013 Share Posted May 26, 2013 Ok--the thread is started under community whole 30 logs. . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1Maryann Posted May 26, 2013 Share Posted May 26, 2013 I hadn't planned on doing it again so soon, but I should. Yesterday I was further off-track than ever before since the W100. I had potato chips and chocolate. Both in the same day. I discovered the potato chips weren't all I hoped they were, so may not do that again any time soon. I did make sure they were 'natural' and free of all the funky stuff, except possibly non-compliant oils. Of course it said "natural oils (may contain x or y or z oil, so no telling). The chocolate was another whole can of worms. I bought a package of my old standby Lindt's 85%. While I was standing there reading labels (amazing how many contain soy lecithin) I discovered Green & Black Organic Chocolate. So I bought a package of their 85% for a comparison. OMG! It makes my Lindt's taste like wax! This may be hard to let go of. I still haven't had legumes, no dairy except a little parmesan cheese a few times on zoodles, no grains except some rice with sushi every other week, and no alcohol. I have been putting sugar in my coffee in the morning. I'm not afraid of going back to the foods that irritate me, it's the junk I worry will creep back in. I also have fallen out of the habit of hitting the gym n a regular schedule. This needs to change. I have been SO busy at work, but I just have to learn to take time for myself. I spoke to my friend Elaine yesterday. She has been doing much better. She is still only on 30% of the normal chemo dose because of her liver, but seems to be holding on, and her liver has been steadily improving. Her bilirubin, which initially was at a life-threatening 17+, is now down to 3. She and another friend, Jeannie, are taking a mini-vacation to the Sanibel Harbor Resort this weekend. She invited me to come up Monday when I'm off and join them for lunch. It's only a half hour away. The night I met her for dinner that she was so jaundiced, Jeannie was with us. Neither Elaine or I was drinking, but Jeannie had no problem ordering beer and drinking alone. Even if I hadn't been on my Whole100, I wouldn't have ordered alcohol in solidarity with Elaine's health issues and inability to drink. So these two are headed to a resort for the weekend, and Elaine tells me that since it's a holiday weekend, she plans on having a mimosa-just one- both Sunday and Monday. I ask if she thinks this is wise, since her liver is still not back to normal, and she got a little snippy with me. She said she was sure one mimosa wasn't going to throw her into liver failure. The fact that she's even considering a drink at this point in her treatment tells me it won't stop at one. One will just make it easier to have the next one. Then she'll say "Screw it! I've been good for so long and I may not survive this anyway, so I may as well have a little fun." I know her too well. And she'll be with Jeannie, who will not be without a drink in her hand all weekend. I'm going to beg off going up there tomorrow. I'm not at all worried that the environment would make me fall off the wagon, but I just can't bring myself to watch Elaine do this. The whole thought upsets me greatly. She is an adult, and will do what she will do, but I will not be a party to it, and by my presence lend support. She believes she can have one drink each day and stop at that. If this is so, then why bother with the one drink under the circumstances? I am so grateful we did the Whole100. It made me step back and look at my relationship to alcohol. Much of my drinking was just going along to get along, and now that I've been away from it for almost 5 months, it doesn't even call to me any more. But someone in Elaine's position, making excuses to justify taking a drink because it's a holiday shows me hers is a real addiction. Why else would someone who is so sick that she can't get but 1/3 the 'normal' dose of chemotherapy because of the state of her liver, think it is somehow okay to indulge? And what if she can't stop at one? I am sick over this, especially knowing that Jeannie won't be any help. I can't change it, I'm not her mother, but I refuse to participate in a friend's attempted suicide, which is how I see this. Maybe I'm overreacting, but the faster she heals her liver, the sooner they can start aggressively treating her cancer. Why would anyone do this?!? It may not kill her liver, but every day she is not getting full cancer treatment is a day the cancer gets a better chance to grow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melbournegirl Posted May 26, 2013 Author Share Posted May 26, 2013 How awful for you Maryann. I guess we all have our demons but it is sad for sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shelley417 Posted May 26, 2013 Share Posted May 26, 2013 Oh MaryAnn-- it is so hard to see someone you love not take good care. I am so sorry for Elaine. My husband has the same mindset-- let me eat ice cream and jelly beans and be happy before I die. The whole 30 really didnt provide much relief for his symptoms even though i know that he would be doing better if he were compliant --- i can say very little. i am not in his shoes. mBut I know in Elaine's case the correlation between the drinking and her illness is 100% which makes it that much harder for you to sit back and not to be judgmental of both her and Jeannie. Pray for the best and let go-- you were wise not to go with them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jtandi Posted May 26, 2013 Share Posted May 26, 2013 Maryann - ugh I am so sorry for what you are going through. but I am so proud of you for standing by what you know is right. I know it must be so incredibly hard, I can't even imagine. my father in law is a serious addict, we haven't spoken to him in years. one of the last times we were back in Boston my husband spent days getting hm into another treatment program. I know it hurts him deeply that his dad doesn't call, we don't even know if be is aware he has a second granddaughter. this disease is brutal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen Posted May 26, 2013 Share Posted May 26, 2013 Maryann, thinking of you! Sounds like you have a firm handle on what's best for you, and what's best to let go of. I'm in. Only I'm on day 7 already and will continue through at least mid-August. I woke up this morning laying on my back, and I reached down to my tummy and it felt like it was someone else's, it was so flat! Doesn't take long to feel the effects anymore. My clothes are fitting better. Even stepped into a size 10 that I haven't been able to wear in 5+ years, though they're a bit snug yet. I hope everyone else has the same quick results! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyS Posted May 26, 2013 Share Posted May 26, 2013 MaryAnn, I'm so sorry. Watching someone do this to themselves is so painful. I'm following you folks on your journey - mine is a bit different. I took a few days off, and now I'm back on until I leave for my upcoming trip. During the trip (which takes up much of June) I don't expect to be Whole30ing, but I do expect about half of my meals to be compliant. When I return I'll decide what I want to do for a re-set. Mostly, I'm in the phase of realizing very deeply how this way of eating is my life, not simply a re-set. Like MaryAnn, I do not have any desire to add back in the "healthier" versions of non-Whole30 foods. All I want that's non-Whole30 is junk. And that business about special treats from grandma doesn't apply. I want junk from bags and drive-throughs and diners. So, having figured that out, I need to determine when it will be worth it. It's a really really big life change for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1Maryann Posted May 26, 2013 Share Posted May 26, 2013 Thanks guys. I think this made me freak out so badly because as she was talking it hit me: She's not going to survive this. Until that conversation, I had no doubt that she would beat the cancer again, because her liver was responding so well. I figured she'd heal her liver, get on full-dose chemo, knock that out and carry on. Because the cancer is localized, they may need to remove part of her liver, so because of the cirrhosis, it would need to be as healthy as humanly possible. For her to say a couple of drinks 'won't destroy' her liver is just crazy. And if she's willing to make a pact with the devil so soon after diagnosis, it won't be the only time. I could almost understand if we were talking a year from now. If she had been clean for all that time, taken all the prescribed treatments, showed vast improvement in the cancer numbers, and had good, solid liver numbers, I could almost see where she might want to take the risk. But we're talking a couple of months, and a liver that isn't repaired enough to even take normal chemo doses. She wants to have 'fun' because she may not make it. What she's doing is going to ensure that she doesn't make it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1Maryann Posted May 28, 2013 Share Posted May 28, 2013 Definitely count me in for the June W30. I off-roaded with a piece of lasagne yesterday, and can't remember the last time I felt this bad. Slept poorly, woke with stuffy, runny nose, and gastric distress. Can't remember the last time I was in this much pain. Done with dairy and wheat! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melbournegirl Posted May 28, 2013 Author Share Posted May 28, 2013 Poor Maryann, but glad you are joining us Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jtandi Posted May 28, 2013 Share Posted May 28, 2013 with my June 3 start date in mind I am finding my brain trying all it's old tricks..."you only have ONE WEEK! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE ONE LAST TIME?! YOU SHOULD HAVE CHOCOLATE 2X A DAY! LET'S GO OUT TO EAT!" it's my husband's birthday tomorrow and it's the perfect reason to go all out. but I don't think I will. I came the closest to eating pizza yesterday since pre-whole100. I actually ate a piece of pepperoni off the top of my daughter's pizza. it just looked so good. I suppose I could just eat some pizza and see how I feel rather than thinking about it, but I am really worried about the reaction I would have to gluten. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melbournegirl Posted May 29, 2013 Author Share Posted May 29, 2013 Don't do it, you will feel miserable. I never eat pizza now, it's just too much and not worth it. Make your own with an almond meal base and baked squash, zucchini, tomatoes, mushrooms etc you will enjoy the flavours and the healthy feeling much better Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1Maryann Posted May 29, 2013 Share Posted May 29, 2013 I hear ya, Jess. Amazing the 'rationalizing' our minds will do to tempt us. Just proves we're not cured yet. I am actually very glad I had such a bad reaction to the lasagne. After every W30, I never had truly bad effects from that kind of off-roading, which made it all the easier to slip back to my old ways. Apparently, the 100 days were what it took to wean my body off these foods. Previously, I would be tempted by something like pizza or lasagne. As of yesterday, that will no longer be the case. Not worth it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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