Whole30 round #2. Family affair - post surgery Dad and stubborn Mom along for the ride.

[Nadia B]

Long opening post.

I have completed my first Whole30 in January. Here is my post where I talk a lot about myself. I stayed mostly compliant ever since (+2 months). I've reintroduced dairy and can only tolerate raw aged cheese. I've eaten peanuts once and it was a stupid idea. I've added dark chocolate back to my diet (couple specific brands 100% or 99% no soy no sugar). That's it.

***Random babble about WH30#1***

Back in January I had no clue that 30 days were just a warm up. I have been that desperate person who was asking "where is the magic?" I could have probably signed under every topic in troubleshooting section. There are several things that I wish I realized earlier. Be patient. Be brave. Own every single decision you take. Excuses are pathetic. We are all unique snowflakes over here You have to experiment and find what brings you the best results. This really comes with patience.

I feel like I'm Barry Marshall, a scientist who infected himself after his theory was ridiculed by common science. Then he cured himself. I am not there yet, but I am trying my best. Unfortunately I am not getting a Nobel Prize like he did.

*** End of random babble***

I ate my last piece of chocolate yesterday and I'm back for the second round. This time WH30 is safety net that will help me to go through some rough times. This time I am trying to use the opportunity life gives me to help my family as well.

Major challenges:

- My Dad is having an intestine surgery today, I am moving to my parents to take care of him for at least 2 weeks. His diet is grain based. He loves his bread (which Mom bakes in enormous amounts), cookies and oatmeal.

- Terrible obstacle - doctor said there is no particular dietary advice after surgery (HUH?!). "Eat all you regular food, but in moderation". Stupid doctor got Dad excited.

- Mom. She just doesn't get it. She has MD in Engineering, she can create a project of a military ship, but she can't get the idea of clean eating. She agreed to give me food decision authority (conditions: I am buying and cooking) for these weeks. She agreed to give it a try. Unfortunately this might mean as much as "I am not going to eat a cookie in front of my daughter". She doesn't believe me when I say I don't want it. I really don't for the matter of fact.

- General family mentality - if you are not fat, you are fine. Both of them are skinny. Bad digestion? Our kid is chubby eating same foods as we do? That's genetic predisposition, our grandgrandwhoever was big too. Who has healthy digestion anyways? Besides poor digestion runs in the family. This will be so so hard to change.

- Lots of stress.

My goals:

- Help Dad to recover, heal his gut with tons of broth and great food. Lots of research and patience.

- Educate parents and teach them to make better choices after I move out. Label reading workshop!

- Make this round as close to AIP as possible. I am egg-free already. I have almost ditched nuts. I am trying to avoid high FODMAPs. I am mindful with spices (seed based). I am cooking 90% of my veggies.

- Kick my habit of sneaking food from jar/fridge/while cooking.

- Work on my eating patterns. What's rarely being mentioned in regards of ditching counting calories is when numbers tell you when to stop eating your body gets lazy. When you stop counting your body forgets to tell you “I am fullâ€. That really sucks.

- Walk every day. Workout no matter what. Drop a bit of bf and lean out (I've gained weight during first wh30, then played around my food, gave it time to adjust, lost those unexpected extra lb). I am telling you, patience is the key. I am almost where I want to be. As of this morning I am 5'5, 122 lb. Measurements (cm/inches): Chest 90/35, arm 26/10, waist 61/24, hips 90/35, tight 51.5/20, calf 35/13.7. Scales say that my bf is 18.5%, but I know I can't trust this "box of doom" (term nailed by Derval), my only judgement is - am I feeling great?

- Learn how to do a handstand. Yes. Silly goal is a goal too.

Alright, let's rock!

[Renee Lee]

Good luck with your folks, Nadia!!!

[Derval]

best of luck Nadia, we're all rooting for you!

[Krista Billows Rodriguez]

Go Nadia!! Good luck helping your parents and meeting your goals!

[kb0426]

Looking forward to watching and sharing in your journey!

[Pea]

I can relate. I am not feeling the magic, either. I also know with all my issues, it's going to take perseverance and time. I am also trying to help my parents, my dad just had and survived a heart attack. It's very difficult when they have been using "I can't believe it's not butter" for years, and I tell them pasture butter or kerrygold butter is better for them, and at the first follow up appointment, they are told to avoid red meat, butter, and milk.

I also struggle with the balance of time for myself and caring for others.

I'll look forward as well to sharing your journey with you! Good luck with your family.

Pea

[Nadia B]

Thanks everyone! I owe all of you all for every improvement I made over past 3 months. I will never get tired of repeating it.

I can relate. I am not feeling the magic, either.

Those are little improvements that don't necessarily fall into general "magic" definition. I don't have amazing rock sleep every night. But I don't wake 5 times per night. It's my "personal magic". And so on and so forth.

I am sorry to hear about your Dad. It is hard, but they will always have "I know better" attitude I guess. There must be an approach that will work and I am willing to find it! Good luck to you too, hope your Dad will get better soon.

[Nadia B]

Day 1. Bump bump and bump.

Dealing with Mom without pushing her guilt button is going to be tough. I came last night to see them. I was met by intoxicating smell of bakery and a giant loaf of bread in the kitchen. "Don't worry, it will be gone by Monday when you move here". Uhhuh. Positive note - told them about headstands. Mom and I ended up trying headstands against the wall in pajamas at 1 AM and made Dad laugh!

Had miserable 4 hours of sleep. "I don't know who you are, but I have an amazing concealer to help you" kind of talk with the mirror. Splitting headache and a pimple right on the tip of my nose. Grabbed handful of almonds (= pain) and left for the hospital. No complaining.

Came back to their place. Inspected the kitchen. Paleonightmare. 24x pack of 0 fat 0 sugar yoghurt, canned fish with soyabean oil, bag s of oats, marshmallows and sweets, freshly homemade orange jam, loaf of damned bread, jars of ice-cream etc.

Went through every single box in the fridge and arranged breakfast. Not so effortless, though I had endless options of fruits fresh and dried, seeds and nuts. Nope, this won't keep me satisfied or make me feel good. Instead I had some pork roast (I am not the only one who sucks at cooking meat in this family), sauerkraut, veggies in olive oil (since it's the only one I found there). Had to pick potatoes out. Black coffee. Going to the office.

No lunch packed, but it's my farmers market seafood lunch day. Swordfish over giant salad. Mint kombucha. Warm enough to eat outside! I am alive.

Planned dinner: Cauliflower/mushrooms/leeks in goat ghee (made last night, it's heaven) + sliders + avocado. My butcher rocks - saved me some marrow bones and made a discount on game meat (Ostrich for tonight) as well. I sort of want to marry him.

Btw - ostrich turned out to be very very tasty. Never had it before. Cheaper than gf beef, which is awesome.

[Nadia B]

Day 2.

Ipad editing sucks. Bear with links.

What a strange day. I had crazy dreams all night, woke up at 7:30. Breakfast: small cup of broth/sauerkraut + rutabaga and swiss chard in ghee + chicken hearts. No eggs. No coffee. Good me. I felt cranky and went right back to bed. I usually don't do this. Slept until 3pm. Obviosly skipped gym and I hate skipping gym. Rrrr. Not hungry.

Talked to Dad, he is ok. He even tried to walk today. He will be home Monday. Highlight of the day - Mom called me when they brought him food to ask my opinion. Glass of milk and yogurt were out. She told me some people got coke and sandwiches. for real?! Dad also told me that Mom said that they are going to behave and eat what I say. We'll see.

I decided to go for a walk and stock up on stuff for parents' kitchen. Healthy butcher and organic store in my hood. Had a decaf to warm up as it is chilly outside.

Marrow bones, kombucha, bacon, coconut oil and pink salt - check! Did I forget anything?

***liver fail***

Note to some of you - I absolutely love liver and all organ meats. Now, time to share an epic fail. Situation is very as my friends say "nadialike". I am walking in the aisles of organic store. I see this. I am excited! I am happy!

Cashier: "Oooh your dog is gonna LOVE them". Me: "I don't have a dog". Akward silence. I stare at the pack. It's a dog treat.

***liverpalm***

It's 7 pm, I am back home. I am not hungry. I should probably eat something. I mean it's been more than 10 hours since I ate. It's so weird as my appetite has always been more than healthy. No good BM since forever. I've noticed that my body smell has changed. I don't like this. What's going on?!

[kb0426]

Okay, I just laughed out loud at the dog treat story!

[missmary]

you are adorable. love the liver love.

[Derval]

Woof- woof nadia!

[Nadia B]

Day 3. Quick Iphone update.

Sleep: restless and short. Couldn't fall asleep.

Green breakfast - ostrich sliders, avocado, cauliflower and lettuce.

Some Barbie food before ballet. No s word here, raspberries were about to go bad. It's just gelatine pieces, really. I have other food to obsess about

Very intense class. Running to the 5th floor and down, planks for 4 min straight etc. Good stretch after. It's some sort of crack. Fantastic feeling. Our studio.

I was dying from hunger, but had stuff to do. Only option was a single pack of nut butter. Awakened nuts dragon. Tamtamtaaaa. Veggies for lunch, turkey and prosciutto. Ate a whole bunch of plantain chips and cashews while picking a movie with M. Off to see some sci-fi crap. I am so full of nuts that I am not sure I'd want to have dinner. Moving to parents tonight as well. Dad is doing good but says that hospital food upsets his stomach a lot. No wonder.

Some good BM in the morning, yay. Stomach pains naay.

[kb0426]

4 minute planks? My abs hurt just thinking about it!

Because of the pin in my toe, I am plankless for now. That is the only positive note about the pin. I hate planks.

[Nadia B]

4 minute planks? My abs hurt just thinking about it!

I hate planks.

Plank is the best friend of a ballet dancer. I love planks! I don't like the sweat that runs down your nose when you are 30 secs to the end of set, that's for sure.

UPD. Yep, no dinner. Actually I ate not that much of nuts, like 1,5 oz. It was stupid regardless. Not hungry since 4-30. Uhm. Ginger tea and that's it. So so strange.

[Nadia B]

Paleo sales pitch.

I am terrified a little what's next weeks are going to be like, not gonna lie. I am in between "convince parents to follow quickly" and "slow changes". I figured out one thing - if I do it, they will follow, if not - nothing is going to change. If I sound desperate I am...sort of. I am also scared of developing aversion to information about nutrition and making them believe that their daughter is crazy.

***lots of whining below***

I printed guides from Practical Paleo and went over them with Mom last night. She read, I tried to explain point she was struggling with. After each guide we were walking to the kitchen and checking. I think she was almost crying when I threw vegetable oil spray. To make it up I brought "sample pack" - ghee, goat ghee, duck fat and red palm oil. She was dipping fingers and acting like a kid. Funny to watch, but the oils crisis was over. And then when I though we are moving in the right direction she exclaimed: "Ok, we can totally switch to organic butter, Maybe even ghee. Dad eats it a lot, he loves butter on his bread and his oatmeal!" - "?!" - "What's wrong?". Facepalm.

Then we went to the label reading. It was tough, i mean TOUGH. I asked Mom to read out loud the ingredients of sardines, tuna, mayo, ketchup. Then I asked her why she thinks all of these "Idon'tevenknowwhatiis" are added if the food is of an acceptable quality. She agreed...and almost cried when I tried to throw this away. I am so helpless. I don't want to be a food police. Making her feel like she is a failure is the last thing I try to do.

I tried to bring up gluten grain thing again saying that it is the first thing Dad MUST give up. Her argument - he says he is hungry without it. My argument - this means he is not eating enough meat or fat if he needs to stuff empty carbs to feel full. I know that when they were young no one ever paid attention to nutrition etc.

By the end of the night I felt like a top notch sales person. I don't want it! I don't know how to present it all so it clicks in their head. Setting an example doesn't work. I don't have a fat loss or reversed illness to present. I can just talk about that what they feel like everyday is not "normal" and should be way better of a feeling. I don't know how to prevent myself from saying what I might regret. I just do a little throw up here. Dear parents, I get it, you don't care about poisoning yourself with this crap. You don't believe that your health troubles are related to what and how you eat. Your habit is more important. Your stupid bread is more important than fighting your disease.Your "it tastes good" is more important than being around me longer. "Yummy" is more important than seeing your grandkids.

[Nadia B]

Day 4.

Horrible sleep, clocks are ticking and huge window is not covered. Invited Mom to do some pilates with me (lots of ouch and eechchh from her), but she liked it. I did a plank interval WO after.

Made coffee (brought organic quality coffee along with espresso maker for them). Watched Mom arranging breakfast. One yogurt. That's it.

- "Are you packing a lunch for work?"

- "No"

- "What are you gonna eat"

- "Maybe an apple"

- Insert all the swearwords you know

Cooked food I brought with me for my breakfast. Had to add eggs to keep it more or less enough. I will have a reaction and rashes. Oh well We had ostrich slider + egg + avocado + spaghetti squash + marinated carrots. "Mom, it took 4 minutes to make breakfast".

I was hungry an hour later or so. There is not a single thing I can eat here. Placed broth to simmer, squash to roast and ground meat to defrost (making stuffed squash). Going to buy tons of food. Cookathon begins now.

[Derval]

Your parents are so lucky to have you!

[Renee Lee]

By the end of the night I felt like a top notch sales person. I don't want it! I don't know how to present it all so it clicks in their head. Setting an example doesn't work. I don't have a fat loss or reversed illness to present. I can just talk about that what they feel like everyday is not "normal" and should be way better of a feeling. I don't know how to prevent myself from saying what I might regret. I just do a little throw up here. Dear parents, I get it, you don't care about poisoning yourself with this crap. You don't believe that your health troubles are related to what and how you eat. Your habit is more important. Your stupid bread is more important than fighting your disease.Your "it tastes good" is more important than being around me longer. "Yummy" is more important than seeing your grandkids.

Dude, use the guilt trip ALL YOU CAN!

I've actually mostly given up with my folks. They've done the W30 and know how food affects them. Choosing to bring home bread and cheese, etc? I can't help that. I'm still known as the food police.

It's not a bad thing! It's only bad if they resent you for it. Voicing your opiion and concern over their health is NOT bad.

[Renee Lee]

Actually, side note:

one thing that worked for me with my sister in getting her to go cold turkey and commit to a full, squeaky clean, 30 days was to tell her, "do this right for 30 days, and if you don't love it and the results, I'll never bother you again"

That was really good incentive for her. I still believe that she cheated, since I wasn't cooking for her and she was aboslutely miserable the whole time...but I've lived up to my end of the bargain.

[AmyB]

Nadia, I just want to give you a hug. You are so nice to help your parents like that. I'm sure it feels very frustrating. Best of luck to you - I hope they can make some positive changes!

[Nadia B]

Your parents are so lucky to have you!

Aw, thanks! I hope Mom will think so too she recovers from the loss of her "there is nothing wrong with these breadcrumbs, they are so tiny" food.

Dude, use the guilt trip ALL YOU CAN!

I've actually mostly given up with my folks. They've done the W30 and know how food affects them. Choosing to bring home bread and cheese, etc? I can't help that. I'm still known as the food police.

It's not a bad thing! It's only bad if they resent you for it. Voicing your opiion and concern over their health is NOT bad.

No bs Renée, haha, brutally honest as usual. I like it. Deal "try it with full commitment" and I won't bother you ever again didn't work. As you said - at least I've tried.

Nadia, I just want to give you a hug. You are so nice to help your parents like that. I'm sure it feels very frustrating. Best of luck to you - I hope they can make some positive changes!

Hi Amy B, I like your user name Thanks for support. It is frustrating but I have a nice place to complain about it, so I will try and try again.

[Nadia B]

Day 4 update.

Spent the rest of the day between supermarkets and auntie's house (taking care of cousins while she was at the hospital with Dad). Lunch on the go - leftover stuffing from squash + leftover spaghetti squash + spinach.

Dad was released and got home. Hooray. He is fine and walking slowly. However he has a post surgery "pregnant" belly, which is so funny because he is tall and skinny (sorry Daddy).

Dinner was arranged in sort of a rush: cauliflower mash ("Oh no, Nadia, please, Dad once made it and it was horrible, I don't like cauliflower mash" said Mom...who went for seconds after, HA) + meatballs + lettuce/avocado salad + marinated carrots. My habit of taking pictures is making parents uncomfortable. Sneaky dinner pic.

Highlight of the night - Dad found guides from Practical Paleo and started reading out loud. Irony? Word paleo sounds almost identical to the word "fake" in my native language. "Hey, good daughter, fake food, thank you very much". His exclamations like "What? I get to eat BISON?" or "What the hell is parsnip?" were making me hysteric. He asked Mom to bring him stack of cards to write recipes down. Little progress.

For dessert: I love asian supermarkets. I can wander there forever. It's another universe of good mood for me. Sharing my treasures from my trip yesterday.

1. Instant jellyfish, anyone? On sale! No? How about beef with strawberry jam? Yumm.

2. Most random labels ever. Macapuno string

3. Eating is cheaper than pooping or there is a reason those two are in the baskets next to each other I guess.

Aaaaand I got a giant bottle of COMPLIANT fish sauce. For 1,50 $. Pure awesomeness.

P.S - I did a wall headstand on my own. I am getting there!

[Nadia B]

Day 5.

Starting whole30 was such a great idea. My body "gets it" this time. My brain "gets it" this time.

Had a "poop talk" with Dad at 3 am. He woke me up on his way to the bedroom. I was sleepy and just asked if everything was ok. I got detailed report. After this chat I feel that Dad could be a valued member of paleo club. Can't believe I am writing about it.

Anywho, cooked breakfast for everyone: sweet potato hash (parents never heard of it) + cucumber + eggs for parents/beef tongue for me. Blueberries. Mom loves coffee with cm. BYE milk. Best part? I put the sugar away from the table and they FORGOT to put it in the coffee/tea. I was breathless. I should probably just throw it away too.

Cooked all day long. People with families and kids - respect. I have no idea how you manage. I have two more bags of food to prep. I wasn't hungry by 2 pm, but thought I should probably eat. Dad was taking a nap, so I ate roasted turnips + balsamic brussel sprouts + liver/cranberry/parsley muffin. Unusually full.

Managed to sneak out to the closest gym and went to xmc class. I can see my the progress compared to 4-5 months ago. I am so much stronger. The fittest dude in the class was trying to do everything faster/better than me. Man, not a chance, we are doing burpeeeees. Hate them but love them.

Not hungry, but ate one meatball post wo, which was too late to be an actual post wo meal. Ate two more of meatballs + half cup beef broth + one big bok choy and a bit of avocado. Dad ate same, but could't fit in whole bok choy. I was stuffed too. Why am I not hungry? Should I worry at all? I guess not...

I hope to get some sleep tonight or I turn into zombie.

P.S. weather sucks. I keep asking my parents - why Canada? They speak English in Australia too. Am I surfing now? Right.

P.S2. Call from auntie who bought me a dehydrator turned an ok day to a good one. I can't wait. Greenbeansgreenbeansgreenbeans. Missmary I need you!

[Renee Lee]

Nadia, how stressful is the parent thing for you? Stress is a big appetite and digestion suppressant.