The Seduction of LadyM, or, my Whole30+

[LadyM]

After a whole lot of reading, lurking, planning, and experimenting, I'm diving in head first to my first Whole30.

A little background: I did a serious elimination diet in June 2012 (cut sugar, wheat, dairy, corn, soy, alcohol, peanuts, eggs), dropped some weight, and felt great. Stuck with it, for the most part, up until now, and I added in Weight Watchers last November. WW helped me drop more weight, but I found it made me obsessive about food to a point that was making me hate myself.

Then, after many many months without binge eating, I started to binge eat sporadically last month, which drove me into a very dark place. The binges were gluten free but not always sugar free and almost always resembled some dessert item I hadn't had in a long time.

In my quest to slay the sugar dragon, I stumbled upon Well Fed, which led me to ISWF. I've been pretty much doing the plan for the past three weeks or so, but I didn't want to commit to a proper Whole30 until after a planned trip, from which I returned last night.

What I discovered in my trial run with the program is the following:

1. Fruit and nuts are foods without brakes for me when eaten alone.

2. I can very easily overeat and gain weight while doing a Whole30 (not that I've stepped on the scale, but I can feel it in the ways my clothes fit).

So, here are the parameters for my first Whole30:

1. No fruit or nuts unless part of a recipe, i.e. sunshine sauce or green beans almondine.

2. Stop overfeeding! Eat to satisfaction, not fullness.

3. Kitchen is closed at 7 p.m. No more eating until brekkie.

Also, after years of doing endurance strength training in the form of Bodypump classes as well as endurance running, I'm going to ease off a bit and try the Slow 10 method of weightlifting. I'm more likely to go balls out when it comes to workouts, but I don't think it's doing my cortisol levels any favors. So for this Whole30 I'm focusing on Slow 10, yoga, as well as walking and perhaps some burst training for cardio.

My central goal in doing the Whole30 is to take another step closer to making peace with food, to balance my hormones, and to get in touch with and learn to trust my body and its cues. Yes, I'd like to shrink, but primarily this is about a lifelong transformation from the inside out. I get that, and I'm committed to it.

I've been trying to heal myself for 20 years since I survived childhood cancer. As a result of its treatment I have hypothyroidism that is managed, sometimes well, sometimes not so well, with the help of an endocrinologist and her prescribed pharmaceuticals. I am also working with a functional medicine practitioner on proper supplementation to balance hormones--especially blood sugar. My mom is dying a slow painful death from complications of diabetes. I have all the signs of being predisposed to the same fate, but I am choosing a diferent life for myself. It requires vigilant self care. I'm up for it.

I'm grateful to have space in this wonderful forum. Everyone seems so knowledgable and kind. Thanks for following me on my journey. I may need to call for some help now and again!

[LadyM]

Day One

B: 10 a.m., three egg frittata sauteed in ghee with peppers, onions, artichokes, spinach, black olives, tomatoes, topped with half an avocado. Black tea with 2 T coconut milk.

L: 2 p.m. Tuna salad made with a can of tuna, 1T homemade mayo blended with roasted peppers and 1/4 avocado, shredded zuchini, carrot, green onion, on top of baby arugula.

D: 6 p.m. small grilled steak, french green beans tossed with ghee and slivered almonds. Green tea with coconut milk. Gingerade Kombucha, my treat!, an hour before dinner.

W: Slow 10 workout and 15 min on the stairmill. Felt great.

What I did well: Stuck to the template, ate to satisfaction, got back to the gym after a several-week hiatus.

What I can improve: eat within an hour of waking and spread out meals a bit better. I wasn't terribly hungry for dinner, so I ate half of my planned steak and skipped the pumpkin puree I planned to have with it rather than push dinner past my 7 p.m. cut off. I feel so much better when I go to sleep on an emptyish stomach.

Plan for tomorrow: morning meditation followed by yoga or walking before breakfast. Leftover steak, green beans, and sweet potato already prepared.

[Tom Denham]

Good plan! Good day of eating!

[LadyM]

Thanks so much for the positive feedback, Tom. As I've been lurking on this site for the past month, many of your comments have helped shape the way I approach my Whole30. Much appreciated!

[LadyM]

Day 2

B: 8 a.m. grass-fed burger, sweet potato with 1/4 avo and hemp seeds, green beans with drizzle of evoo

L: 12:30 p.m. big colorful green salad with 1/2 avo, 2 grilled chicken thighs, drizzle of evoo and acv/lemon

D: 5:30 p.m. leftover steak from last night, 2 cups of homemade slaw with mayo and a sprinkling of raisins and seeds

Good day eating-wise. Having this log is great for accountability.

Low energy today, likely because of a wicked sore throat that started last night and whatever to come that implies. Interrupted my sleep last night. Went to bed at 9:30 and slept until 7, so hopefully I got enough zzzzs in between interruptions.

Began the day with meditation, pranayama, some qi gong and a little yoga. Not a real workout, but a great start to a calm day despite a hectic work schedule.

That may be my favorite effect of this lifestyle: the calm.

Also, I'm really focusing on HOW I eat and not just what I eat. Mindfully chewing, not gulping, and focusing solely on eating when I'm eating. This is very good practice for me.

What I did well: stuck to template, spread out meals, ate to satisfaction, stuck to Kitchen Closed at 7 despite a little hunger before bed.

What I can improve: eat a little more for dinner to tide me through to bedtime, get in a real workout.

Plan for tomorrow: sleep until I wake to help kick this bug, prep a little more food for the rest of the week, get in a more deliberate workout.

[LadyM]

Day 3

B: 9:30 coconut beef heart stew over baby kale and cumin/almond cauli pilaf.

L:1:30 burger patty, tomatoes, slaw, sweet potato with avo and hemp seeds.

4:30 Afternoon Kombucha (on sale this week, yahoo!)

D: 6:45 steamed broccoli slaw tossed with pesto, chicken thigh, olives, artichokes, peppers. Canned pumpkin with coconut butter.

Feeling tired this rainy gray day and still fighting this cold. It seems to be getting better, though.

What I did well today: stuck to template, ate enough and in a relaxed undistracted while sitting down way, drank more water, morning pranayama, meditation, and qi gong.

What I can improve: aiming again for a proper workout tomorrow. Plan to hit the gym for my second Power of 10 lifting session. I really felt it the past two days from Tuesday's workout. Nice. Even more water. Maybe fewer starchy carbs, though I'm not sure why. Is it OK to eat starchy carbs with each meal if one of the things you're trying to cure is insulin resistance?

[LadyM]

Day 4

I feel like hell, but I'm blaming the cold/flu rather than the whole30, which looked like this today:

M1 11 a.m. Burger with mayo smear and sauerkraut, sweet potato with 1/4 avo and hemp seeds, green beans almandine with drizzle evoo

M2 5 p.m. Pork stir fry in coconut oil, tons of veggies, sprinkling of almonds, well fed stir fry sauce

I woke up seriously late because I worked last night until after 1 a.m. (Writing deadline). Not sleeping the best because of sore throat and sniffles. Sinuses pretty full. Ugh. Definitely didn't hit the gym, and didn't even do my gentle and virtuous morning routine. Glad it's the weekend. I need a day off. Too bad I have another late night deadline tonight. Oh well.

I've also been having sabotaging thoughts: what if it's not worth it? What if I gain weight? What if I'm fooling myself and just should have stuck to weight watchers?

Just being honest here. Guess I'm still looking for the silver bullet that makes me skinny (and beautiful and rich and happy) and realizing I'm not ever going to find it. And I think the fun and excitement of this has worn off. I've been doing it for just about 30 days now even though whole30 and I have only been married for 4.

Funny that I use marriage as an analogy here. Sometimes I wonder if I don't throw myself into this sort of commitment seeking happiness that I'd really prefer to get from a relationship. Like the whole30 is a surrogate relationship. Oh dear!

When I think that way I simply remind myself that I'm taking care of myself, I'm in relationship with myself (ugh, hate the psychobabble), and I'm preparing myself for the next phase(s) of my life which haven't yet arrived.

But clearly I'm struggling.

Had a very vivid dream about my ex last night. The night before I dreamt I was doing effortless pull ups. What's in store tonight, I wonder?

While I don't feel any slimmer at this point, I do think my acne flare ups are diminishing. And my chronic shoulder and SI pain is lessened. My digestion is pretty great, too. Not 100% where I want it, but light years ahead of where it was when I began strictly eating real food a month ago (and quit my morning pea rice protein shakes with added fiber).

Ok. That was a good reminder. Glad I wrote it down.

Onward.

[LadyM]

Day 5

Woke up late again this morning after another late night deadline. Awoke to one eye crusty and very swollen. By this evening, the other eye is the same. WTH is going on with my body? I can't blame whole 30 for this, but it sure is a rotten coincidence.

M1 11:30 beef heart stew over kale and cauliflower pilaf reprise. Black tea with coconut milk.

3 kombucha

M2 6:15 crock pot pork loin and veg, broccoli slaw, veg soup, 1/2 avo. Green tea with coconut milk.

No energy to workout. Just gonna let myself rest. Trust that my body will heal and be eager to move again one day.

Talked myself down from ordering a 1600 calorie per day paleo plan online. Terrified I'll be one of those people who either doesn't lose or gains weight on my whole30. Aiming to use this particular neurosis to make me more mindful about eating. To eat to satisfaction, not over fullness. Since mowing on so much veg, I find I expect to eat a vast amount of food. This worries me a bit.

BMs were tiny today despite upping my magnesium supplement before bed. Hope that will change for tomorrow. I also hope I feel like going to the gym tomorrow, too. But we'll see. . . .

[LadyM]

Day 6

Woke up today unable to open my crusty eyes. Definitely conjunctivitis. I don't think I've had this since I was a kid. Yikes!

No workout, no yoga. Rest.Though I wasn't a corpse on the couch like yesterday and did get domestic stuff done today. Great food prep for the week ahead. Here's what's in my fridge ready to go: pork and veg; turkey, apples and cabbage; roasted sweet potatoes; veg soup; butternut squash fries; broccoli slaw; salmon with greens; bone broth; roasted marrow.

I was a cooking machine today! Glad to have the prepped meals and the variety. After reading a 21-day paleo detox plan realized it might be good for me to back off the nightshades a bit and simplify some of my meals. Busted out the crotch pot and made some super easy and tasty one-pot meals.

Today:

M1 noon sweet potato hash browns and two eggs (one with two yolks, lucky me!) cooked in ghee, 1/2 avo, cup veg soup, small bowl broccoli slaw

4 kombucha

M2 5:30 salmon fillet with spinach and broccoli; cauli rice pilaf; butternut squash fries

I absolutely loved what I ate today, and that makes everything better. It was wonderful to eat different foods. I don't feel a meal is complete without non starchy veg, so that's why I added the soup and slaw with breakfast. It just didn't feel right to just eat sweet potatoes, eggs, and fat.

Spent plenty of time today trolling the forum. I'm obsessed. I hope as time goes on I learn to trust myself and the whole30, and need less reinforcement. After all, one of my chief goals is to drop the obsessive thinking, period.

If my eyes aren't better by tomorrow I'm calling in sick. I think that's a good idea if your own reflection scares you. If they're better, I'm going to the gym. Starting to get itchy for it, so that's good.

I think I'm well prepared for a successful week ahead. Digging this journey.

[LadyM]

Day 7

(late posting because my conjunctivitis is making it nearly impossible to read backlit stuff.)

M1 9:30 crock pot turkey with cabbage and apples, 1/2 avo, black tea with coconut milk

M2 1:30 crock pot pork with cauli, zuch, green beans; mushroom sauteed in ghee; cup of veg soup; green tea with comilk

3:30 kombucha

M3 5:15 two chicken thighs with zuch, pepper stirfry; cup veg soup; few bites broc slaw and cukes

Felt really hungry, which seems odd since I ate three meals for the first time in days. Wait. Maybe that's why. That plus I woke up earlier.

Cancelled class and office hours today because of my eyes. They were so itchy and painful I literally wept. Ugh. Here's to kicking out the jams and staying the course. It's not like any kind of food would make me feel better anyway. . . .

[LadyM]

Day 8

Stopped trying to be a hero and went to the doc to get antibiotic drops for my eyes. It was a rough night. Up every hour with eye pain and diarrhea. Perhaps I need to scale back the nightly Natural Calm. This is all an experiment, right? Anyway, the eyes are on the mend and I am wonderfully grateful for modern medicine for certain things like much-needed antibiotics.

M1 noon butternut squash/zucchini hash with two eggs and 1/2 avo

4 Kombucha

M2 5:30 steak, 1/2 small sweet potato, green beans, 1/4 avo, hemp seeds, apple walnut fennel salad, raspberries.

Went ahead and treated myself with raspberries today. It felt like a big indulgence. New batch of ghee simmering on the stovetop. Ducks in a row. Leftovers prepared for tomorrow's big teaching day. I also aim to wake up early, go for a walk, and return to my meditation practice. Baby steps.

[LadyM]

Day 9

Well, my eyes are getting a lot better, but I burned my ghee. It was Kerrygold too. Shit. Oh well.

I did not wake up early to meditate and walk. I slept in. It was luxurious. And I survived my crazy day of teaching. YAHOO.

M1 9:30 turkey apple and cabbage with toasted coconut flakes, black tea with coconut milk

noon kombucha

M2 4 p.m. salmon with spinach and broccoli, broccoli slaw, 3/4 avocado

Definitely hungry after I finished teaching at 9 p.m., but I'm having mint tea with coconut milk instead and keeping my kitchen closed. I'm looking ahead to the morning and how infinitely better I feel when I wake up after having gone to bed with an empty stomach. Seriously. It's so wonderful not to wake up hungover.

So, it's officially my second week now and I'm starting to enjoy this more. Reaping the emotional benefits and also feeling slimmer, like my old self before I starting binging again last month. Phew. Also, I hadn't weighed or done measurements before starting, but I did have to step on the scale at the doctor's office yesterday. In clothes (jeans) and wearing shoes, I weighed 158. Don't know when I'll get back to that scale again, but I know vaguely that I'd like to get under 150. That's as little as I've weighed as an adult and it's the weight at which I felt best. But I'm doing my best not to be attached to the number and to focus on how I feel. I also figured I'd go back to WW and weigh in after my whole30 to compare to the last time I weighed in there. I think I was somewhere around 158 there, too, so no biggie.

[LadyM]

Day 10

Double digits, yahoo!

Stayed home to rest and nurse my eyes.

M1 9:30 crock pot pork and veg, 1/2 avocado

M2 1:45 turkey and cabbage with toasted coconut, 1/2 apple

3:30 kombucha

M3 5:45 steak, sweet potato with 1/2 avo and hemp seeds, broccoli slaw, apple

Hungry today and craving sweets, but not terrible. I did break my rule and eat fruit straight up at the end of two meals. Not off the rails, but not something to make a habit of. Glad to be eating down the leftovers. Look forward to making new creations on the weekend for the week ahead.

Overall feeling pretty meh and just accepting it. No expectations. Calling it calm.

[LadyM]

Day 11

The fact that I've become something of a hermit over the past several months is good for my W30, but I hope to have a social life again sooner rather than later. I'll be grateful for the space to do this thing justice without interference right now, though. I had been overzealous in my thinking (who, me?) when I started this by planning to just do a W100 right off the bat. I do think my imbalances are severe enough to merit a longer stretch than 30 days to heal, but I've decided to do the 30 days and then see how I feel.

Speaking of how I feel . . . I woke up this morning with the sense that my belly is flatter than it's been in a while. My belly is the part of my body I'm most self conscious about and dissatisfied with. My intention is to make friends with--and even love--my belly as it is, not contingent on its size or tautness. Hate is not the path to positive change. Love and self care is. Getting there. One step at a time.

M1 1030 sweet potato and zucchini hash cooked in ghee, three eggs, 1/2 avo

1 p.m. kombucha

M2 5:30 shockingly huge salad of various greens and veggies tossed with mayo dressing, two chicken thighs, 1/2 avocado, beets

My body seems to prefer two meals a day and I'm fine with that. It seems to work with my schedule right now. Maybe that will change, and maybe not; but I feel like I'm getting to a point where I can trust my body. That's a relief I cannot measure. Such a beautiful thing.

Eyes are still healing and I still have this nagging throat thing. My body's been hit pretty hard. But I trust the healing process, and I have faith in the Whole30 as a part of that healing process. This, in and of itself, is a huge shift since I started this thing. The angst just isn't there. Good riddance!

[LadyM]

Day 12

Felt human for the first time in a while today. Eyes are all but completely better.

Stocked up on local pasture raised meats and went to yoga this morning. All felt quite virtuous. And the sun is shining for the first time in weeks!

M1 12:30 pork tenderloin with cauliflower, fennel, carrot, zucchini and 1/2 avocado

4 gingerade kombucha

M2 6 steak, Brussels sprouts, three strawberries

I am amazed by how satisfied I am with the food I eat and how not hungry I am. It's just not a huge effort to control myself anymore. Preparing and eating food is a pleasure, and no longer an angst-ridden endeavor.

I think my joint issues are clearing. My acne is better, though I've noticed flare ups when I eat tomatoes and peppers. I will give up these suckers, as well as eggs, as soon as what's in my fridge is gone. Foregoing tomatoes will be something of a challenge in the recipe department, but I've learned to reconnect with the magic of my crotch pot. Meat+veg+seasoning=something good for my piehole. And since food doesn't seem to get me all jagged up anymore, I don't require intensity of flavor so much. Or, maybe what I mean to say is I can actually taste food now.

And my body feels like me again. I have hope and faith in future fat loss and strength/muscle gains. I think I'll even hit the gym tomorrow.

I've also added yoga nidra back into my repertoire and have no doubt that will further help reduce the cortisol coursing through my body.

Another happy report from life on whole30.

[LadyM]

Day 13

Day began at 3 a.m. when I was startled awake by a troubling dream. Nothing too crazy, but it was clearly my subconscious trying to make sense of some recent news about my ex. Anyway, couldn't get back to sleep and was very hungry.

M1 4 a.m. leftover crockpot pork tenderloin, veg, 1/2 avocado, two cups tea with coconut cream, carrot and celery with pate

M2 10 a.m. leftover steak, nomnom red cabbage slaw

M3 and here's where it doesn't look so pretty. Started around 2 p.m.

I did a huge cook up today. Have been dragging my ass but decided to just push on through. In addition to the slaw and pate I made yesterday, today I made:

chicken blueberry breakfast sausage

nomnom asian meatballs

a roast chicken

marinading nomnom asian chicken thighs

roast butternut squash

roast sweet potatoes

marrow

bone broth

sunshine sauce

avocado mayo (eggless)

I did pretty well for the first couple hours of cooking, but as the afternoon presented itself I got less strict with myself about tastes and nibbles. It started with the mayo, which I tasted for seasoning, which led to a fingerfull of subutter while making the sunshine sauce. By then the chicken was roasting and I knew I wanted that crispy skin right off the bird, so I just decided to sit down with kind of a meal. Which entailed:

mug of green veg soup, two meatballs, one small sausage patty, two celery ribs and two skinny carrots with pate, crispy chicken skin.

The crispy chicken skin led to other picking at the bird. I ate the wings and then after cutting up the parts and putting them in the fridge I cleaned the carcass. Now. This to me is an oddly pleasurable activity. Certainly made me feel like a cavewoman. But it also resembled a binge. I am not pleased with how it felt or how this meal played out.

And I was so busy in the kitchen I hardly noticed that it's in the high 60s and sunny today. A real spring day, finally!

So, I think I'm declaring my kitchen closed for the day and sending myself outside to play. Tired as I am, I think the fresh air will do me good, and I can prepare myself for a glorious deep sleep tonight (pleaseohpleaseohplease).

p.s. meatballs are so futzy to make!

[LadyM]

Update on Day 13

After some yoga nidra and journaling, I decided that punishing myself by cutting off all food at 3 p.m. was neither in the spirit of the whole30 nor the way I want to treat myself. Therefore, when I got a little hungry at 6,

M4 bison patty with avo mayo shmear, a little dish of slaw, and a small sweet potato.

Then I went for a glorious and leisurely walk in the sun. Yin yoga to come before bed.

I want to continue cultivating this habit of self care and eschewing self punishment.

[Duke]

I like how you are keeping up with this and feeling better. I am wondering what your avo-mayo schmear is (assuming it is more than an avo/mayo mix)?

It sounds like you have really good healthy proteins. Keep up the great work.

[LadyM]

Thanks, Duke. Yeah, my fridge is bursting at the moment!

I have made a delicious concoction by blending homemade mayo with avocado and roasted peppers and used it to make tuna salad. But since I'm cutting out eggs, yesterday I actually made mayo by using an avocado as the emulsifier instead of egg. Just blended it with lemon juice, salt, and slowly drizzled in light olive oil. It's pretty wonderful! Though full disclosure: I never met an avocado I didn't like.

How are your meals shaping up these days? Everything still smashed, or are you past the kill all the things phase yet?

[LadyM]

Day 14

Was determined to have good sleep last night, so I went to bed at 9:30 after taking natural calm and probiotics, read a bit, then put in ear plugs and sleep mask. Slept until 7, took my levoxyl, and lollygagged until 8. When I awoke, the sleep mask was on the floor and my ear plugs were in the sheets, but oh well. I slept well and will try again with the props tonight. See where they end up!

M1 10:15 nomnom Asian chicken thighs, slaw, 1/2 avocado

1 kombucha

M2 6:30 zoodles with sunshine sauce and nomnom asian meatballs, greekish salad with avo mayo dressing

Good energy today. Walked to work and back in the sunshine. Felt so good. I also did a bit of yoga and meditation this morning. It's all good. I appreciate the daily whole30 emails to remind me to do these things. I've taken on stress reduction like it's my job. But not in a type A way at all.

In other good news, I comfortably wore an outfit today that two weeks ago made me feel so much like a sausage that I wore a blazer to cover up my rolls. I felt comfortable to go without the outerwear! Skinny jeans with shirt tucked in.

What more good can happen in 16 days?

[Beets]

Very much enjoyed catching up on your log. I'm glad you're feeling better. I have had a couple of similar weeks. In my husband's words, "You've been sick since you started this diet." Not exactly how I see it, but I went through the pain of coffee withdrawal (and dramatic caffeine reduction), wretched allergies, then fairly bad PMS. (Which surprised me the most. When I quit sugar and grains my usually bad PMS was so mild I was surprised by my period.)

The avo-mayo is a great idea. Any relative amounts or did you wing it?

Woo hoo skinny jeans and a tucked in shirt! I know we are all here for our health but I'm sure most of us wouldn't mind feeling better in our clothes.

[LadyM]

Thanks, Beets. How are you feeling these days?

The body is so mysterious, isn't it?

I'm chalking it all up to detox and am withholding judgment until I fully feel well. But serIously, the functional medicine doc I see says sometimes the body won't allow itself to detox/get sick until it has proper immune support. A whole9 diet, I think, is part of that.

I started my period the same day I began this whole30, which means I'll be pmsing toward the end. Very curious about how much my diet will affect my hormones in one month.

As for the avo mayo, I kinda winged it. Tossed a fairly large avocado in the cuisinart with a few shakes of sea salt and the juice of half a lemon. Turned the sucker on and drizzled in about a half a cup of light olive oil. To make it into salad dressing I just thinned a spoonful with a good splash of acv.

That's right: we're getting healthy with the pleasant side effect of getting hot, so says Jason Seib. (Btw, I totally downloaded and read Paleo Coach on your recommendation in a comment. Thank you!)

[LadyM]

Day 15

Halfway there!

I woke up before my alarm today and went to 6 a.m. Yoga. So excellent. And I walked there and back, like my old self. My new self. My actual self.

Then I was hungry after, so I had a proper breakfast. And I've decided to keep a photo log of my meals, too. Because, you know, it's fun. And knowing I'm photographing and publishing my food motivates me to plate it nicely.

M1 8 a.m. Blueberry chicken sausage (stuff I make my husband recipe), sweet potato hash, avocado, Yerba mate

Later today I'm heading to see my endocrinologist 80 miles away for my annual checkup. Bonus: there's a whole foods and trader joes where she is, so I get to stock up on olives, coconut milk, nuts, and kerrygold. Any other tj favorites I should pick up?

All right. Must go grade papers before making my trek.

Anyone have photo uploading tips for me? I'm using my iPad camera with mixed results. The uploading isn't consistent. . . .

[Nadia B]

Whoop whoop, half way. Good luck at the doctor.

Thanks to Derval I learned about photobucket. Make sure to play with uploading sizes of the photos or they will be gigantic. To paste an image you go to the image icon of the editor and paste direct link. I think Instagram works too.

How do you people have your avocados so perfectly cut.

[LadyM]

Day 15 update

Doctor was fine. Nothing to report, really. Though I'm knackered from driving four hours today. Wish I'd gotten more papers graded this morning. Oh well.

Lots of eating today.

M2 noon chicken breast, avo mayo, shaved Brussels sprouts sautéed in ghee, strawberries

Snack 4:15 a few olives and couple thin slices roast beef, kombucha

M3 6:30 chicken thighs and slaw followed by half an apple

Feeling kind of down. Realizing how deeply dissatisfied i am with my position at work. I love what i do, but not how im treated by the institution. Am wondering what to do about it. Thinking about how whole30 has upended people's lives--not just their health--for the better, and wondering how that might play out in my life. Both tired and impatient. Not cranky, though.

Nadia, avocados are easy if you use the right size spoon to scoop out the flesh after cutting it in the half shell. That's how I do it, anyway. Also, I have a two pound grass fed beef tenderloin that basically cost me a day's wages resting in kosher salt. I'm excited about curing my own beef. Will keep you posted.