Utterly depressed and off the rails


LindaLee

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I did so well for a week and felt amazing! Then I fell off, and for the last three days I have gotten on during the day and fallen apart at night. It's my old nemesis...loneliness...and my old, bad "comforter"...ice cream. Now I feel awful.

I need a plan...I want a way to say no when the sugar rat starts nibbling after lunch and I'm bummed about going home and being without my husband. I know it's just for a few nights a week, but I so hate being at home without him...and he keeps me on track.

Any suggestions?

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I ditto both of the replies above. Distraction with something else can be really helpful and coming on here to get support is a double win. You get distraction, and you also get a little fire in your belly to keep at it from reading the posts and offering your support to others as well.

And I also agree to get anything out of the house that could possibly tempt you that isn't W30 compliant. I binge on sugar and it's become a pretty big problem for me, but it really helps to not have things like that in the house right at my finger tips.

(((hugs))) I have had several failed attempts at W30, but I am determined that this next one will be a success! One day at a time. :)

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Can you plan some activities to keep you busy, too? Like, go to a movie, work on a project, help a friend paint a room, hang out at the library, go to some kind of talk or something. I find keeping occupied often makes loneliness less acute.

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Thanks, guys...there's no ice cream in the house, really nothing that isn't whole30, or if it isn't it's stuff like flour and things I won't touch. Usually I'm at work, around mid-afternoon, when the craving begins...so I guess I'll have to get on the forum then! Is anyone around <hopefully>?

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Good idea about the keeping busy too...every other day I've come home and cooked or prepared whole 30!things. The last few days I've just felt so...Blech - because of the bad food, of course....I think when I feel like that I should promise myself I can get some sleep, instead!

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LindaLee - If I were in your shoes I would have to look to change my patterns. I have a history of binge eating and I know for me that behavior was very habitual or patterned. Avoid the situations that trigger the pattern and you increase your fighting chances. I also noticed that I always would give myself an opportunity to avoid eating the crap in the heat of things I would typically ignore the moment to save myself. Obviously this is a mind set - look for your psyche giving you the opportunity to make the right decision and allow yourself to support yourself. Take a wonderful tub soak or something else that is really nice for yourself whenever those lonely pangs kick in.

Kudos to you for asking for help - that is definitely one of those psyche moments when you are taking advantage of the opportunity to make good choices!!!

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I like the suggestions to change your habits, or what you do at certain times of day to help keep your mind off the cravings. I eat a great breakfast, great lunch and then sometime toward the end of my daughter's nap time, I suddenly feel this overwhelming urge to eat crap. Usually, it is something like fast food. The sugar cravings tend to follow later in the day.

I started to realize that it hasn't been about the food at all, it is about the emotional connection to the food. In the morning, I take my daughter to the playground and see all the moms out there with their snacks, their fast food breakfasts and sodas from the gas station. I used to be one of these moms too, and I think I feel left out. I do fine at the park because I've eaten a good breakfast, but later in the day I start to feel nostalgic about it. I miss the special occasion feeling this brings and I want to recreate it over and over.

I realized that it had nothing at all to do with food. It is actually the isolation of being a stay at home mom. So, my solution has been to talk to a friend instead, or if no one is available, take my daughter back to the park in the afternoon and have random interactions with strangers.

I would start analyzing your feelings surrounding these cravings to figure out what is really going on. Sounds like you have an idea. So what can you do to address those feelings? It may not be a food-related answer at all.

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Hey, everyone...thanks so much for the encouragement and advice! There's no doubt in my mind what my cravings are connected to: on the days my husband isn't here (which is a couple of days a week), I miss him very much. Instead of looking forward to coming home, I kind of dread it. About 2:00, after I've been busy all day usually, I feel that mid-afternoon slump, and it occurs to me that when I go home he won't be there, so there's nothing to look forward to. CaseyD hit it right on the head - there's a "special occasion" connection to ice cream for me, so it helps assuage the loneliness and give the coming home a more festive feeling.

(I'm a psychologist, so I know WHAT is going on; I don't always know what to do to fix it - or I DO know but for some reason don't choose to do it - maybe because I want to avoid the negative feeling!)

I need to break that connection between reward/special occasion and food - that's the problem with things like birthdays or today (my last day at my old job) or the retirement party that kicked this whole thing off - and find some other way to celebrate. And just sit with the feelings instead of trying to run away from them.

Coming on here every day and reporting how it's gone EVERY DAY will help - good, bad, indifferent. And please don't hate me if I slip?

Thank you -

Today went okay. I knew I was going to a Thai restaurant for lunch, so that wasn't terrific, but I did manage to have my favorite dish with shrimp instead of tofu. And otherwise today I did very well.

The other good news (?) is that when I woke up this morning I felt absolutely awful. Draggy, headachy, sick to my stomach - nothing good. I do NOT want to feel like that anymore, and I know if I write about feeling awful, I won't forget what that feels like after the fact, so I hopefully will weight that yuckiness against the temporary yumminess, and choose differently.

My other goal is this...for the last two years or so I have been unable to give blood, because my hemoglobin has been too low. It dawned on me yesterday (we had a blood drive and I didn't even try) that my diet probably had a whole lot to do with it. At the end of my Whole30, I'm going to try to go give blood. If I can, I will be such a happy camper.

Linda

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I'm back on track! Well...99.9%, but I wasn't officially starting until tomorrow <g>. My Log shows all the details, but everything was Whole30 except...you guessed it...Diet Dew...sigh. My last one, I promise!

Thank you again for all your help and support...you guys rock.

Linda

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