Advice how to proceed please


Moluv

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Quick recap of my w30- started end of January, restarted at day 19 after getting a headache from what I thought was a compliant restaurant meal. Restarted immediately but with my own rule in place about "no selfies", broke my rule at 12 days, restarted immediately. Went for a while then restarted on the IBS protocol. Went for about 12 days on that, had a cocktail and restarted the next day for 13 days of autoimmune, which I abruptly ended today with a latte with milk and sugar.

Prior to the cocktail I had 60 days straight of compliant eating, though I called all my own restarts, mostly because I wanted to keep going. By today though, all that time with the rules caught up with me and I wanted OUT. Granted, I flubbed the AIP days ago when one larabar turned into a 72 hour nut-a-thon.

Here are my two burning questions- please reply with any opinions!

1. Would you say that I completed a W30 based on my first 60 day experience even though I was crazy in the way I wanted to count the days?

2. Since I am struggling with the authority of the rules as well as self control with nuts, should I keep w30ing to get a grip or take a break and get my sea-legs on my own?

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Hi Moluv, this is absolutely going to have to be your call, you know that but, hey, that never stopped me throwing in my tuppenceworth :). I remember you on your W30 and you were exceptionally hard on yourself. You wanted everything to be perfect. Some people have minor slip ups at restaurants and we sometimes, depending on what it was, say it probably doesn't require a restart just keep going. you restarted just in case there' been something noncompliant :huh:

There's no doubt in my mind that you've completed a W30 even if it wasnt' the perfect W30 that you wanted. It very rarely is for anyone :). We all feel we could have done better but sometimes we have to let go of perfection. As Voltaire said 'perfect is the enemy of good'.

Now I'm sorry, offhand I've forgotten why you started the AI and IBS protocol so I can't comment on whether you need that or not. I do get you're now really struggling with the rules and I don't blame you. It's human nature. When I used to totally put off tasks I hated, I was taught to do them in 15 minute intervals because 'anyone can do anything for 15 minutes'. A W30 is very similar. Anyone can do it as it's only for 30 days. When we start it, the end is in sight so we obey the rules knowing we need them. However take away the end but leave the rules and it starts to chafe, to irritate and we rebel. It's like a toddler, they'll *obey the rules* by holding your hand as they learn to walk but there'll come a day when they'll fight with every atom in their little bodies to do it themselves.

If I were you, I'd take a long hard look at what you wanted to accomplish from a W30 and decide if you're there or not and let go of perfection. Decide what your goals are now and decide the best way of accomplishing these. Did I mention let go of perfection :)

Seriously, if you really need the AI or IBS protocol then give them a try just be clear why you're doing it and for how long, if not why not work out your own rules, set your own goals and ride your own bike. If you set your own rules, you might struggle less with them. If you feel nuts are an issue make tackling that a priority. See how you get on on your own, you can always come back to a W30 later if you want.

Above all, be kind to yourself. You've been really helpful and kind in your posts to other people. Be just as kind to yourself. Learn to love yourself, you really are worth it and let go of perfection ;) I really wish you all the best in whatever you decide. good luck

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I agree with the above too!

One last thought to add - in reference to your question number 2. I think you CAN live a whole9 life, and that is what you have been doing. You eat whole30 style for a while, and then you are deciding when you want to offroad. There is nothing at ALL wrong with that, and I would say you have done that quite successfully! Your offroading did not lead you down a path paved with garbage foods. You had your offroads, then you come right back. That is living and you don't need anyone, including yourself, worrying about how many days in a row you were "successful". When you are ready for a whole30 as Kirsteen described, you will know it!

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I love what Kirsteen said.

I finished my first Whole30 and followed it up with several re-starts that lasted a day or three ;) I just wasn't ready. After beating myself up a bit I decided to be a little nicer to me and a little less critical. I shifted my focus to making this work for my life. I decided that I would be compliant in all my meals prepared at home. If we ate out I would do my best, but enjoy a splurge If I really wanted it. If I decided to have chocolate I would work at not feeling guilty about it and just ENJOY. I did the same with wine. That was over a year ago and I just started my third Whole30 five days ago. I really feel ready this time and I want to do it. My reasons are different though... I know that my chocolate and nut habit is effecting me emotionally and that's just not okay. Before, I was slightly obsessed with doing it "perfect" and I just don't want to approach food that way anymore. It's crazy how a change in my thinking has made it SO much easier this time... I'm not focused on what I'm NOT eating, I'm focused on what I am eating. I'm also focused on getting outside more and enjoying better sleep. I'm doing it because I want to, not because if think I need to. Not out of guilt. I'm also doing it by myself... my family eats paleo style at home, but it's nice not feeling like I'm trying to motivate and carry everyone through it. I'm liking the independence of going rogue with my veggies sticks when everyone else is enjoying a weekend ice cream treat or whatever.

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It has been Kirsteen's (and a few other's) pointing out my "perfectionist streak" and how it sabotages me. I never thought of myself as a perfectionist because I wasn't....perfect enough :huh:

It's funny how putting one aspect of yourself out there for others to witness allows complete strangers to pick up on a character trait that others who know the FULL YOU don't ever notice. What I realized was that perfectionist nature stole the joy out of my W30 accomplishments, just as it has stolen the joy out of my artmaking and my ability to accept my physical body "as is". It has been very eye opening and I think this has to be the Number One Lesson of my W30 journey, and it's not even food related!

So, yay! I'm post w30, it was a smashing success, it has totally changed me. I'm all geared up with helmet and kneepads as my training wheels are taken off and I learn to ride that bike. Kirsteen gave me a nice solid push to get me started, and thanks everyone!

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You lot are all far too kind :wub: Moluv, I'm glad you've realised your W30 was a 'smashing success' Go You! Never let perfectionism rob you of the joy in anything. Tim Holtz the designer created a fabulous rubber stamp which simply states "Embrace Imperfection". It's something we should all learn to do. Good luck with the rest of your healthy life

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