The Log of Changing My Life

[VanessaE]

Hello! I'm Vanessa, and I have decided to create a log of my first W30 journey, because I know this is going to change my life!

I have battled my weight for years. I am 40 years old, and I have been struggling with my weight since I was 17. I feel that I have finally found the key piece of the puzzle, and I am overjoyed! My weight went up and down between 125 and 160 until I was about 30. At 29 I returned to finish college. The stress led me to eat, and I got my degree 5 years and 50 lbs later, at 210. My first job after college was even more stressful, and combined with a pending divorce, I was at 255 in early 2009.

During early summer 2009, I went on a boating trip with friends on a local river. A drunken stranger called me a "whale" in front of my friends. I was so embarrassed and mad that I decided that something had to be done. I got on the 6 week body make over diet, which is fairly nutritious, except for some grains and limited fats, and I lost 70 lbs in about 8 months. I was thrilled! I still thank that mean drunk.

Unfortunately, I wanted to lose another 30 lbs, and have been trying unsuccessfully to lose it since 2010. I have learned a lot about nutrition and exercise, bit by bit. I learned how awful sugar is, and eliminated it. Instead, I ate big bowls full of black beans topped with sour cream and cheddar cheese. My weight started climbing. I tried HCG, and virtual starvation. My stomach hurt so badly I could barely sit up staight. I ate tums like candy, sometime half a bottle a day. I did lose some weight. Unfortunately, when I went back to eating normally, I was so ravenously hungry, that the weight came back pretty quickly. I learned that carbs were not my friends, and that if I got rid of them, then fats were OK. So I ate beef patties with lots of cheese, and big bowls of cream cheese and berries. Still, the weight stuck around.

Last summer, I was planning a trip to Cabo San Lucas for my 40th birthday, with my boyfriend and another couple. I had exercised periodically throughout my weight loss journey, but never fully committed. I decided that I did not want to be mad at myself on my birthday because of being unhappy with my body while wearing a swimsuit on the beach. I have to exercise before work or I won't do it - I know myself, and I am lazy when I get home from work. So I started getting up at 4 am every morning to work out. While trying to find info online about effective workouts, I found a book that encouraged ladies to lift weights, and not just pink 2-lb dumbbells. I started pumping iron (as best I could for being out of shape) 3 days per week. It was so hard at first, and everything hurt like crazy. I bought a foam roller, and stuck with the program. My weight didn't change, but my shape sure did. My belly roll got a lot smaller! And I started to notice that it was a lot easier to lift stuff, and it didn't hurt me if I had to stand all day at work. Previously, if I had to spend 8 hours standing on concrete, I felt like I'd been run over by a truck. I started using pre and post workout powdered drink mixes - and still I did not lose weight...hmmm. I was also drinking alcohol with some regularity, and smoking cigarettes on occasion. I started walking after work, on a gravel road near me that is pretty much straight uphill for over a mile. My boyfriend and I walked it about 5 days a week, and even added backpacks with extra weight. My legs looked great, and I did drop about 10 lbs. I was happy in Cabo San Lucas. Until the photos came back....

Despite the fact that I am in much better physical condition than I've been in for years, I am still about 30 lbs overweight. I have tried just about every diet and exercise plan you can think of, and still it doesn't go away. I did find out about Paleo about a month and a half ago, but have only made half-hearted attempts to stick with it. I found the Whole30 last week while looking for websites to share with a friend who has Parkinson's. He tells me he eats lots of grains, and I wanted to help him understand that this is not helping his health.

I am sooo excited about the Whole30. I think God has led me to this. I can plainly see that it is a true path to real health. I see the value in simply eliminating all of the super-normal stuff and restoring our tastes to what they are meant to be. Not cutting back, so that we can't forget the tremendous power the super-normal have over us, but to eliminate.

I started my W30 on Sunday. I also stopped smoking the same day, and no alcohol either. I wasn't a big drinker, maybe 2 drinks on 3 nights per week. I miss cigarettes the most, mostly out of habit. I am used to having a smoke while reading email in the morning. Maybe the logging/ blogging will help me to get past this. The food has been awesome so far - I've cooked some great stuff. I cooked a bunch of stuff on Sunday so I don't have to deal with cooking during the week if I don't want to. I did have approved foods as snacks a couple of times yesterday - still trying to get past the psychological need to eat something mid-morning and mid-afternoon. Workouts are suffering so far - had to lower weights and reps on just about everything this morning, but - no sugary pre-workout drink probably caused this. I've had a slight headache the last two mornings, but nothing unbearable.

Anyway, sorry for the radically long post. I just wanted to share my history, as much for myself as anyone. Because I know that this is going to be a life-changing transformation, I want to chronicle the journey! Thank you!

[VanessaE]

Just for reference, here is a photo of me in 2008...

And here is a photo of me in February 2013...

These changes came from cleaning some of the junk out of my diet, and from exercise. Now I'm ready to get all of the junk out of my diet! Can't wait to see what changes this will bring!

[VanessaE]

Hello! Here's my summary of Day 3 (yesterday)

4:00am Pre-workout, 1 teaspoon of almond butter, handful of raspberries

5:20am Post-workout/ Meal 1, shake made from ½ can coconut milk, 3 eggs, handful of spinach, 2 leaves kale, ½ cucumber, 6 large strawberries, ¼ cup pomegranate juice, 2 sprigs parsley (yes, I know I'm not supposed to be drinking my food, but I did a similar shake before W30, and I love it, and it fills me up until Meal 2 now that I've added 2 extra eggs and the coconut milk.)

6:00am Coffee with bit of coconut milk

11:15am Meal 2 Indian curry ground beef w/ coconut milk, steamed broccoli and carrots, 6 large strawberries

1:45pm Handful of trail mix made from goji berries, raisins, walnuts, cashews, pumpkin seeds, and sunflower seeds. I bought this stuff before I read the whole book, and thought it might be a good “emergency†snack for work. The bag was tiny, and this was the last of it, so no more snacking on dried fruit. Also ½ cup of black coffee.

5:30pm Meal 3 Chicken adobo with bok choy (made w/ soy aminos and no sugar,) large handful of raspberries, small handful of macadamia nuts

Other interesting stuff that happened yesterday….. I had a slight headache when I woke up, it mostly went away after a cup of coffee, I broke into tears over something pretty trivial on the way to work – not typical for me, at about 1:30, I was falling asleep at my desk – also not typical, I was trying to avoid snacking between meals but hoped that maybe the trail mix and coffee would keep me awake for the rest of the day (my workday is 7:00 am to 3:30 pm) and it did, after work I was still a bit tired, but went for an easy hike outdoors since it was a beautiful day, afterward had dinner, then got really tired and really cold, ended up bundling up in sweats and socks and going to bed early, I guess this is typical for Day 3!, other weird thing – I've been having itches in really weird places! that have never itched before, as this started near the end of Day 1, I can only assume it is related to W30, and I hope it goes away soon, as these are places that can't be scratched in public – so weird! Also – cravings aren't too bad, still mostly miss the cigarettes…

[calee]

Vanessa, I get you wanting to get the last pounds off. I'm doing that as well. I just wanted to say that you are stunning, in both pictures. I hope you can really take that in. You're going to do great. Bravo!

[VanessaE]

Calee, Thank you so much for that! I don't do very well with being nice to myself, so I will try to take your advice and really take that in. Bless you - you obviously are a beautiful person to share such a kind comment!

[30Canandaigua]

You sound like a woman who has her mind made up

I know a lot of folks like sweet potatoes as a pre work out meal, might be worth a try? Really, people swear by eating them daily.

I actually did some liquefied food during my first whole30. For me it was that or nothing. One of the biggest (and hardest) things for me has been sticking to the meal template. That is the one thing that I still struggle with: eating 3 square meals a day. As much as I told myself how awesome my liquefied stuff was, and that it filled me up ect ect ect, looking back I was just making excuses for not following the dang template; because it's hard. Especially in the morning! You are off to a great start! Stick to the meal template, good luck!!!

[VanessaE]

Thanks 30Canandaigua for that great advice! I think I could eat sweet potatoes in the morning - I love them, especially with cinnamon. I tried eating scrambled eggs with veggies the first 2 mornings, but it was hard for me to eat enough to stick with me until Meal 2. I don't love eggs anyway, so that didn't help. I will work on finding other choices for breakfast that are not liquid. Today I didn't have anything pre-workout, and it was OK. I think I fall into the group that can do without a pre-workout meal, since I have quite a bit of fat for fuel.

[VanessaE]

Day 4

Today had some rough spots…woke up again with a slight headache, but it went away quickly – good sign!

Meal 1 – 4:45 am, shake made from ½ can coconut milk, 3 eggs, handful of spinach, 2 leaves kale, ½ cucumber, 6 large strawberries, ¼ cup pomegranate juice, 2 sprigs parsley, also a cup of coffee with coconut milk

Meal 2 – 11:15 am, big salad w/ veggies, homemade vinegar and oil dressing, grilled tuna, 6 large strawberries

Meal 3 – 5:30 pm, grilled sirloin steak, piece of leftover fish, 2 sliced tomatoes, blackberries, cashews

Today I was at a different work location (the lab) and had some cravings for both food and cigarettes. I usually have more opportunities to go outside for a smoke when I'm at the lab, so not being able to do that today was really hard. Also, the lab lunchroom has a big assortment of candy bars, bags of chips, and sodas. You just pick out what you want and leave your change in the coffee can. It's also usually empty, so you can eat your junk and not be seen. This has been the site of most of my dietary indiscretions in the past. Staying out of that lunchroom today was tough! Also, when at the lab, I get to work with my Dad, which is awesome, but he always goes to the local restaurant for lunch. I can't make Dad go to lunch alone! I can get salad from the salad bar there, although choices are limited. Unfortunately, this has also led to a lot of bad food choices in the past. But today I was prepared! I brought some homemade olive oil dressing, and a big hunk of grilled tuna. I got lettuce and as many veggies as I could from the salad bar, and added my “bring-alongs†that I pulled out of my purse. It worked great, and I got to spend time with Dad! I was so busy after lunch that I didn't have time to think about whether or not I was tired. I did still want to go get a candy bar from the lunchroom, but refused to let myself do it. I distracted myself by getting back to work, and finished my report 40 minutes early! Once I got away from the lab, the cravings let up. I had a good, filling meal 3. I am still a little tired during the evenings, so I watched a little TV (I rarely watch TV) and then hit the hay, and slept like a stone. Oh, and this was my first day with no between-meal snacks! Thank you God for helping me to make it through my most difficult day so far!

Also, I wanted to add a comment about my first log post on losing “weight.†I don't care what the scale number says. I don't care if it doesn't change even a tenth of a pound. What I am really interested in is fat loss. I know that this extra fat is not good for my health. I would like to have the extra energy that I use every day carrying around ~30 pounds of fat to do other, more fun and productive stuff! Anyway, my brain has had “lose weight†stuck in it for so long, that's often what comes out when I don't slow down and think about what I am saying/ writing. What I really mean is “lose fat†and to the point where I am healthy and fit and feel awesome every day!

[calee]

Me too! I want to go from Fluffy to Lean. Many say that can happen without the scale changing.

You did great taking food to add to your salad. Bravo for that. Being prepared is so helpful in challenging situations.

Those cigarette cravings will lessen. I quit in 1990 after smoking for 22 years. I cried a lot in the first months as I found that I had a lot more emotions than I did when I smoked. I went to a hypnotist and haven't smoked since. I never thought it would work, but for whatever insane reason, it did.

Do you have access to a sauna? It might help in the cigarette detox to sweat it out.

You're doing great! What a wonderful inspiration.

[VanessaE]

Calee, That is so great that you were able to quit smoking. It is proving to be that hardest part of W30 for me, and I have only been smoking for about 5 years. I can't even begin to imagine how tough it must have been for you. You are obviously very strong! I'm glad the hypnotist helped, and I believe that if you think something is going to help, it will. Our minds can be powerful allies or powerful enemies.

Unfortunately, I don't have access to a sauna, but exercising seems to help me sweat out some of the "yuck." I am working at the lab today, and at the time I would normally have had a cigarette, I just went outside anyway, and enjoyed the spring sunshine. It was nice, and I noticed the birds singing and the smell of some trees that were flowering. I never paid attention to that stuff when I was having a cigarette outside, so it was a new blessing! It made it OK to not be smoking!

Thank you for your support - it helps a lot!

[Beets]

Wow. You are taking on a lot with not smoking and doing a W30. Good for you for taking charge of your health! You have come a long way and you've learned a lot.

I totally understand what you mean about not being able to be kind to yourself. I have the same issue. Maybe that can also be part of your W30 journey?

Stick with it!

[Renee Lee]

Hey lady, welcome!! I'm going to echo the sentiments of not drinking your food. It's not forbidden, but highly discouraged. In our experience, people do scads better when they leave 'em out and eat real food rather than drink it.

Good luck!

[calee]

Vanessa, you're right, exercising is also great for detox. Do something really nice for yourself. This is a big challenge you've undertaken. I remember letting go of sugar and flour as well as going vegan right about the time I quit smoking. I guess I felt like, what the heck? Why not do it all at once. I have to say, nine years as a vegan was enough. I love bacon! It will probably be one of the first things I add back in.

[VanessaE]

Beets - Thank you for the support. Let's practice being nice to ourselves this week!

Renée Lee - Thanks for the advice on theliquid breakfast, I am trying to wean myself off it, I had solid foods for breakfast all weekend!

Calee - wow, giving up grain, sugar, cigs, and going vegan all at the same time - you are incredibly strong. I would have caved on at least one thing. I'm glad that you gave up the vegan. I always thought it seemed like an admirable thing to do for one's health - but now I'm learning that maybe it isn't. Isn't it funny how long it takes us to find the answers to things sometimes?

[VanessaE]

Day 8

It was a good weekend! I try to make my weekends as electronics-free as possible, so I didn't post anything the last few days.

I faced some challenges this weekend and came through OK. The first – after going to the grocery store and stocking up on Good Food, my sweetie was hungry. (I wasn't, thanks to my new fat-adapted state!) The store is about 50 minutes from our home, and he was starving. Although he didn't want to eat in front of me, I insisted he go ahead because I didn't want him to get a headache. He got a fried shrimp meal from the drive-through at Captain D's. He is also trying to eat better, and enjoys a lot of the same W30 meals that I do, and having shrimp rather than a burger was his attempt at eating somewhat better. I digress – the challenge part was me having to be in the car and smell that fried shrimp. I really like fried shrimp. He was trying to eat while driving, and I was in the passenger seat trying not to stare at his meal. Solution – I asked him to pull over, and I took the driver's seat. I was fine after that, because I had to concentrate on driving and was no longer thinking about his food. He was able to enjoy his meal more, and we were safer because he wasn't multi-tasking while driving. This will now be standard procedure for us when he wants to eat in the car and I don't.

Second challenge – I went to spend the day with Mom and Dad on Sunday, in celebration of Mother's Day. Mom loves to cook for us, but there isn't anything she makes that is W30 compliant. We had talked earlier in the week, and she asked if she could make us a lunch of (insert assorted sugars, grains, and processed ingredients) and I knew that wouldn't work. I asked her if I could bring the lunch, and she agreed. So, I made Paleo Pork Roast (recipe is from AllRecipes.com, adjusted to omit anything non-compliant) and sweet potatoes roasted in clarified butter with apple pie spice. She and Dad seemed to really enjoy it. Later that afternoon, as we were leaving, she told me thanks again for bringing the meal, and she said that not having to cook was one of the best gifts she received. I was so happy that my dietary limits turned out to be a good thing for her. And I'm thankful that God helped me to make it through the weekend without falling off the wagon. This was my first W30 weekend, and I'm notoriously bad about cheating on weekends. Yay!!!

1. A bit of pork roast and a few sweet potatoes (had to sample them to make sure they tasted OK)
   
2. Pork roast (made with apples, raisins, coconut, etc) and sweet potatoes
   
3. Grilled steak, leftover sweet potatoes, apples sautéed in clarified butter
   

[Renee Lee]

Later that afternoon, as we were leaving, she told me thanks again for bringing the meal, and she said that not having to cook was one of the best gifts she received.

Love this! Did the same thing for my mom yesterday.

[calee]

Vanessa, you really rocked the weekend! Stand up on the table and take a big bow! Wow!

You figured out what to do in the car. Great!

Then you asked and took the meal to your mom's house. That was really big since you said she enjoys cooking. In the end she was grateful to you and everyone enjoyed the food. Win/Win!!!!

[VanessaE]

Day 9 Recap

Pretty good day, overall. Worked at the lab, no longer really tempted by the stash of junk food there. Came prepared for lunch at the restaurant, with salad dressing and a grilled beef patty. But the soup of the day was vegetable beef. No sugar or seed oils - I asked. So I had some, and picked out the potatoes, along with a big salad with veggies. It was nice to order at a restaurant, the first time I've done so in 9 days! Went for a nice walk outdoors after work, enjoyed the warmth and sunshine and the company of my dogs. Afterward, made up a big bowl of roasted sweet potatoes. My sweetie has got a rough work schedule this week, and I wanted to get some extra carbs into him so he'll have plenty of energy. Now there are enough in the fridge for both of us to enjoy for a few days. Didn't sleep as well as I have been lately for some reason. I haven't had any coffee the last couple of days, so I dunno?

Meal 1: eggs, spinach and kale, strawberries, coconut milk

Meal 2: veggie salad, olive oil & vinegar dressing, vegetable beef soup

Meal 3: leftover steak, sweet potatoes, blackberries, coconut milk

[calee]

I think sleep is so much hormonal. I haven't slept well since menopause which was over a decade ago. Not all of us are inflicted with that though. Hopefully this is just a fleeting healing stage for you.

I haven't tried coconut milk yet. I'm more drawn to those coconut flakes. Hand to mouth action. I try not to eat them except a couple times a week.

Congrats on the restaurant! I've eaten out twice in my 13 days. Both times upscale so I knew the food would be well sourced. I ended up with fish both times. I think you did great! Why did you pick out the taters? Are you avoiding nightshades too?

[Derval]

Just been catching up on your log, you are doing great. well done on quitting the ciggies, I'm off them since 2000 myself.

How is this week going for you?

[VanessaE]

Well, I did a terrible job of keeping my log up to date due to work issues, but am happy to report that I did successfully complete my first Whole 30! It was awesome! I felt amazing, quit smoking, stopped drinking alcohol, no sugar...all the stuff on the program. I lost 12 pounds. I looked and felt better than I have in years. People commented often on how much weight I seemed to be losing. It was an overwhelming success!

 

Some of the highlights....

 

• I discovered so many wonderful new ways to prepare and enjoy foods. I'd rather eat meat than sweets now. That was so not me before.
•  
• I really didn't miss anything I gave up, with the exception of cream and stevia in coffee. That was not what I expected to miss most. I thought it would be the cheese...
•  
• Upon re-introducing things, I discovered that wheat makes my head a stuffed up, snotty mess. Sugar makes me crabby. Alcohol makes my stomach hurt. Wow, what a learning experience... 

 

Anyway, I really didn't eat much differently for the first week and a half after Whole30. But then the thoughts started to pop up..."It's over now, it's OK to have a couple of cookies." or "You are allowed to have a sandwich now if you want." So eventually the thoughts won, and my eating eroded quickly. I decided that I would begin another Whole30 after the holiday, as I had to travel for business the week before. I used the planned re-start as an excuse to eat every type of junk within reach in the meantime. I spent the past few days eating Cheetohs, cookies, and drinking soda. I regained 8 of the 12 lbs I lost. I'm hoping some of it is water, since I inhaled salt like crazy the last few days.

 

Now, for the drumroll part of this post....

 

I have decided to do a Whole 100, starting today, July 8, 2013.

 

I know I can do it, because I learned so much during my first Whole30! I know it is the best thing I can do for my health. I want to break free of the sugar dragon once and for all. I also want to break free of the scale once and for all. So, here I go, until October 15.

 

This morning I got up at 4:00 am and did some squats, pushups, stepups, etc - lifted some heavy things (me, mostly) and worked up a good sweat. Then I had 3 eggs with spinach and coconut milk, and some strawberries. I also had coffee with a splash of unsweetened almond milk. And water.

 

Lunch was smoked grass-fed beef brisket, carrots, and raspberries. And water.

 

Now it is 2:20 pm, and I have a bit of a headache thanks to the sugar withdrawal. And I wouldn't mind a short nap. But I'm typing here instead! I hope to go for a walk either before or after dinner.

 

It's good to be back to the Whole(100) program!

[calee]

YAY! I'm so happy you came back to let us know how you're doing. Congrats on finishing your 30 and wow on hopping right back on. You had crazy good results. I'm still plodding along on Day 70.

Good to see you back!

[VanessaE]

Thanks for the encouragement, calee! Wow, day 70, that is awesome! Kudos to you, and your impressive perseverance. I hope that you are feeling that Tiger Blood thing!

[snailytrail]

Good luck! I'm on Day 5 of my first Whole 30 and I already think I'm going to do a Whole 100. So best of luck with it and hope to see how you go on here! Sounds like you've done really well.

[amberino21]

You're overcoming any challenges really well!

I used to feel bad asking about food in restaurants, or ordering to my specifications, but I've learnt that it's better to get a meal I'm happy with than worry about being difficult and not eating what I've paid for. It does get easier

I usually just choose to stay home and entertain - I know my food will be how I want it, and tasty as well!