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my poor husband and helping him eat


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Day 2 here. I decided to do this and asking my mom to join the ride (she said no) I turned to my husband and he said he is up for the challenge. A little background about him : he does not have a desk job, and before he relied heavily on protein powder, fruit, fast food, etc to eat at work. he also loves his Reese's and alcohol. I knew this would be hard for him but the hardest part is finding what he can eat!

he cant eat nuts, as he doesnt have a lot of back teeth due to exccess sugar and no dental visits growing up. (i promise we arent hillbillies). he has been grabbing for a lot of fruit, which i think will hurt him because he will just crave sugar more. he doesnt really like to eat his vegetables .. i feel like he is one of the kids sometimes!

He is not getting the fact that snacks are not needed. I try to load our meals with fats, veggies, and protein, but he still needs the urge to snack. i tell him he wont die of hunger.

i know he wont quit but i dont want him to hate me at the end of the 30 days either. any insight on trying to get him to realize how this really works? its not a diet, etc. i've showed him the sight and have left the website up for him to go through. I will be getting the book in the mail on thursday.

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You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. You know?

I think it's wonderful that you are encouraging him to eat well. But if he isn't motivated like you are to make changes it's going to be a tougher sell. Maybe once he sees how well you are doing, he'll have more motivation.

If he's curious show him the book or send him blog posts or anything you think he'd be interested in reading. But make this about you and your relationship to food.

I do all the cooking and most of the shopping (all of the shopping list making). My husband said he'd support me by reading stuff I want him to read, eating dinner with me and trying to cut out sugar at work. But he isn't in the same place as me. If his auto-immune disorder (sarcoidosis, which can be life threatening--so I'd really really love for him to completely change his diet for real and forever) acted up I'm sure he'd have more motivation.

Lead by example and answer his questions. Make yummy w30 food. But he's a grown up and has to make his own choices. I always feel like my husband is way more likely to come over to my side when I let him think he's coming up with his own ideas. ;)

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Thanks Beets! You have been so helpful.

I have told him that he doesnt need to do it. But as a 'challenge' he said he can't back down. I dont want this to hurt him more than help him. But I really think it is a mental game with him. I want his views on food to change so we can be on the same page when feeding and raising our kids. But you're right, I cant and shouldn't force him.

I make all my meals for work and feel like I might have to make his too. I just will need to tell him, either you eat what I eat(or something similar) or you scavenge for yourself.

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He'll probably get over the snacking in a day or two...you said your still just on Day 2 right? He'll start to feel full from your new style of meals and hopefully the 'habit' of between meal snacks will just fade away. I stopped snacking at work by just not bringing anything.

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My experience is that you only get over snacking if you CHOOSE to get over snacking. My husband has decided to join me for 2 weeks to see how he feels. Snacking is going to be his big challenge, too. He just plain LIKES to snack, and as a body builder he is still of the "eat 5x day" mindset. I am going to care without going crazy. As Beets said, this is going to be about ME. I'll help him any way I can, but I can't do it for him.

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I hear you. And maybe I should get my husband to do it with me next time as a challenge like that! The one-upmanship, appeal to his macho side angle.

I would have to make his lunches too, if I did that. He usually gets soup and salad or sushi, but there are temptations all around.

I agree about the snacking sorting itself out. The veggies are a little tougher. Just experiment with new ways of cooking them. Most people love roasted veg, even non veg eaters. My husband is always like, "I don't like that." But then he tastes it and he likes it.

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I think it's great that your husband is trying to do this with you! Even though he is snacking and eating a lot of fruit, think about all the positive changes he has made and praise him for that. Find little factoids about eating too much fruit or eating them as a sugar replacement and bring them up without telling him he should quit eating so much or snacking...men like to think they come up with the ideas! ;) Or get his doctor or one of your/his friends to tell him about the benefits. I find that my husband listens better to others! :lol: Create a competion between the two of you with no snacking and whoever loses has to give the other a massage, make dinner for a week, buy something the other person wants...you get the idea? If he likes challenges, maybe that will work.

I wish my husband did half the stuff yours is doing but he just can't seem to give up his crap food. :unsure:

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thanks ladies! it will definitely take time for him to get out of his snacking mindset. Heck, I'm still trying myself!

i do feel a little bad for him. he just called me at work"

HIM: so your going to make the egg muffins tomorrow?

ME: yes, I will be working from home.

H: but we dont have any bacon, or sausage.. ?

M: thats because i cant find any.

H: what do you mean you cant find any bacon?! whats wrong with the bacon we always buy?

M: it has sugar in it. we cant eat it.

H: im going to the gym now.

if he could have steak and eggs every day im sure he could, but our wallets couldnt afford it.

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If your husband has a very physical job (you mention he doesn't have a desk job) then he might actually need more than just the 3 meals.

My partner is not doing the Whole 30, but she eats everything I eat, plus whatever else she wants. Sometimes she acts sheepish or guilty when she grabs a candy bar at work (we both work for the same organization, different areas) or wants to have a snack at night. She sees that I don't snack because I am no longer hungry or craving, I just eat my 3 meals and am good with that. But, her job is a lot more physical than mine, and she is more active in general. She has lost more weight than I have over the last 33 days, her skin looks great, and she is still eating bagels with cream cheese, non-fat sweetened coffee creamer, snickers bars from the vending machine, etc.

I've tried explaining that if she really wants to stop eating junk food/sugar, she only has to stop eating junk food/sugar, and wait for withdrawal to end. I don't think she really wants to stop, though. She quit her 15-year smoking habit earlier this year, so I know she could do this if she really wanted to, but she doesn't right now.

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I agree with KW above on the number of meals. One of our moderators, Tom Denham, reports that when he started eating Whole30, he ate 5 or 6 meals (not snacks) per day for quite a long time. I wouldn't hesitate to load him up with meals that fit the template. And based on my experience with my first Whole30, I'll just note that fruit is, at the end of the day, better than Reeces and alcohol. I remember reading about people freaking out over eating fruit (not that you're doing that here, by the way!) and thinking "What's the big deal? If I weren't eating this banana right now I'd be eating an entire large bag of Kettle potato chips!"

I don't think he'll hate you. You sound pretty awesome.

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I agree that maybe you just have to look at it as he is eating BETTER than he was before, even if it's not exactly the Whole30 template. He will still gain some benefit by swapping out his Reeses for fruit.

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That's my attitude. I'm actually starting my hubby on the "toddler protocol" if you will. He's starting grain free, sugar free, and alcohol free. He can live with that, so I'm taking what I can get. I'm hoping that he notices enough change in 2 weeks of that that he'll continue. (I am pretty sure he has a gluten issue, but we'll see.) I'm not going to hound him about being perfect, I'm just going to help him learn what choices are better for his body. Baby steps.

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thanks, you all are right. no wonder he is going stir crazy, he is now eating fruit instead of Reeses!

Another issue we are having : he does not think our boys (ages 5 & 3) should be participating. Tonight we had spaghetti with zucchini noodles instead of pasta. He thought I should of made the paste for the boys. I told him I already do enough cooking as is, I'm not going to cook them that stuff. I told them they will eat what we eat, and if we are out they can still have the regular stuff. They go to daycare so they get the chemical-ridden food. How do I get him to understand that the food is bad for everyone, including our children?

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I understand the concern of "outsiders" thinking that paleo folks are depriving their kids of things. I'd frame it from the, "I want to set a good example for them at home, they can do what they want outside of the house, but I'm feeding them nutrient-rich stuff here"

And that's really all there is to it, you know? Regardless of whether it's "weird" or not, zucchini noodles are scads more nutrient dense than pasta is. If they like it and are eating it, what's the problem?!?!?!

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How do I get him to understand that the food is bad for everyone, including our children?

Do you have the book?

I found the 'sciency-y' section a bit of a revelation. And I felt like even if I didn't participate in the whole30 program, that I was so much more informed about what my food choices were doing to me behind the scenes. You could ask him to just read that section (it's a couple of chapters).

Sometimes I need to understand the reasoning for doing something, rather than just taking someone's word for it that it's good.

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Amazon says the book will be here by Friday. It would have been here a lot faster but I chose the Free Shipping option :rolleyes:

But yes, if they are eating it, then whats the problem. I am not trying to kill my kids. I told my husband this is the good, normal food here. Not the stuff that we used to feed them. I allowed them there regular sugary-cereal this morning, and told the boys they will also need to eat some eggs too. I'm willing to compromise with them. Then they wanted a banana as well cause my husband was eating one :)

Im glad my kids are young, its easy to lead them by example, and they dont talk back .. much.

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msssjenna! You'll get there! When we first had kids (they are 8,7, &6 now) I completely revamped how we ate. I came to believe that we may hinder their little developing brains and bodies on a conventional diet and so from early on they've eaten well. But all of the food groups. And some M&Ms and Kettle chips too. But they will benefit from any changes you make in your home. The biggest thing though, is you're setting an example of eating food to help you thrive and how to avoid food that 'fights against' you.

The book will help, I read all of ISWF myself, but it took a journey with my husband and I on a 10th anniv. get-away and through sharing the info in the book and discussing how our bodily systems react to foods--those conversations convinced him to be fully on board. Yeah, I'm a little miffed he's cheated and doesn't seem to want to do a clean whole30, but he is an adult. I can't make his choices nor do I need to make him feel guilty by pointing out that chips and salsa or that bowl of ice cream isn't compliant. He already knows that. I won't encourage him to 'stick' with it that way.

And with the kids, we've done 'flavor adventures' where I or Daddy make them try something new. From different combinations of foods, to Kumquats, to purple carrots, to yak jerky. Maybe it's cooked green beans. Maybe it's a whole meal like Jamaican chili. But they're so used to it now, that some of the flavor adventures have become they're most requested things.

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