My Mum's boyfriend was at my place recently landscaping my garden while I was at work. I called him that evening after work to thank him and he said:
'You've got a problem with your kitchen cupboards!'
Me, thinking one was broken or something 'Oh, what?'.
'There's nothing in them! I wanted a piece of toast... And there's no bread! Where's your toaster?!'
'Oh! No, we don't eat bread and we put the toaster away because we never use it...'
'There aren't even any chips in the house! I looked in the fridge and all you had is lettuce!' (Kale, actually )
'Yup, sorry, that's how we eat!'
*Baffled* 'I managed to find some Special K in the bottom cupboard (my boyfriend's old pack he never threw out). It was okay! I didn't even have to add sugar!'